


Reasons to Be Brave

by MamaMiaOhMy



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol/Drunkenness, Cheating, Dom/sub, Drugs, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Jealousy, Multi, NSFW, Pining, References to Drugs, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:09:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 134,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24219430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaMiaOhMy/pseuds/MamaMiaOhMy
Summary: Jake Wilson never expected actually to be chosen for this season of Love Island; in fact, he hadn't even applied. Still, as he finds himself thrown into the villa among both men and women who are louder, wittier, and more charming than he ever is out loud - he begins to develop an undeniable draw to one girl in particular and uncontrollable jealousy.This fic follows Jake's perspective through Season 1 of the Love Island Video game. It is mostly original cannon/existing game scenes but with dialogue tweaks, added/extended scenes, and an alternate ending that gives depth to characters I think need it and adding a lot of fun and heartache to the MC/Jake relationship. I hope that it adds a ton of spice and drama; giving myself and readers the full sexy plotline Jake and MC deserved.
Relationships: Jake Wilson/Main Character (Love Island), Jake/Talia, Levi/Main Character (Love Island), MC/Jake, Rohan/Jake Wilson/Main Character (Love Island), Rohan/MC, Rohan/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 291
Kudos: 243





	1. Dry Spell

A small grunt escaped Jake’s mouth as he lifted his favourite cast iron from its resting place on the dry rack next to the sink. He knew he was a more sentimental guy than most, but feeling the familiar weight of the pan in his hands made him realize he was going to miss it. Surely the pots and pans in the Villa would cook things fine - but he’d have to learn their quirks before he could make any really great food. Saying goodbye to the recognizable shape of the cast iron handle made it all seem very real. In just two days he would be cooking in some other kitchen, in some other house, a long way from Preston, being watched by millions of people on national TV.

“What do I even pack?” he thought to himself as he lowered the pan into its proper drawer. Arthur, the sous at his restaurant, had submitted Jake’s name for the show, basically as a joke.

____________________________________________

“How is it the hottest executive chef north of London drinks with me instead of any banging birds?” Arthur asked during one of their after-closing chats. Jake took a sip of his whiskey and laughed.

“Arthur, you know I don’t have time for that right now. That’s why I’m sitting in a dark empty kitchen with you at 1 am. My life is this restaurant.” Jake took a moment and looked down at the ice in his glass. He gave the drink a small swirl and threw the rest of it back, letting it burn on its way down his throat. “I’m not like the rest of you lot – happy to have women come and go. What I want is a partner. I want a woman who I can tend to and care for with the devotion she deserves. And I can’t do that if I’m here late every night and back in early to oversee prep. A woman I loved would deserve more time and attention than the 3 hours a day I’m not asleep or at work.”

“Jeez mate, you really are soft. Tend to? Love? You know there’re about seven birds in here each night who just want to go home with you?” Arthur poked a finger at Jake’s chest. “And on good nights at least twelve.” He grabbed the whiskey to refill Jake’s glass. “You know - they walk in here and see you all done up in your coat, talking to the guests, getting that sexy, serious face on while you garnish the dishes, and they **want** you. I mean how long has it even been since you’ve had a decent shag? No. How long has it been since you had any at all?”

“Since opening I think, Sarah binned me that week.”

“Fuck’s sake,” sighed Arthur, stopping mid-pour. “You’re telling me, you’ve not fucked a bird since the opening of this restaurant. A year and a half ago?”

“Piss off Art,” Jake chuckled “I know you want the best for me, but I’m not explaining myself any more. I know what I want. I want this place to have a Michelin star before I’m thirty. I want you and the rest of the staff to get better health benefits. I want my food to change lives. And there isn’t time for a partner in that, and I’m not going to go through women just for fun.” Arthur stood up, walked over to a hook on the wall where his backpack was and reached inside. His tone was more serious as he replied.

"Mate, are you living in the stone age? Are you a knight or something? It’s not your job to protect the vulnerabilities of _fine ladies_. Birds like to shag too. You’re an adult, and as long as you’re fucking another adult who says it’s okay, then you’re both allowed to have fun and move on the next day.” His expression revealed that he finally found what he was looking for in his bag, and he pulled out what looked like a business card. “Look, someone came by here earlier, and I thought it was a shit joke, but I did some googling, and I think she’s legit. Since you don’t have time to fuck, I’m guessing you don’t find much time for TV ay?”

“No, why?”

“Well, there’s that dumb show, Love Island, ring a bell?” Arthur sat back across the bar from Jake. “Sexy singles living in the same house, drama and romance, all that trash.” He took a swig from his drink and then held up the business card. “The bird that gave me this card was a producer or something for that show - said they accept applications from anyone but also they do some scouting. Said she saw an article about our ‘ _up and coming new restaurant’_ and it’s impressive new executive chef. Lucky enough it had your picture.” Arthur smacked the card down on the table. “She said they wanted you to apply for the show and to give her a call if you had any questions. After this chat, I’m gonna submit you mate.”

“Wait, what?” Jake stuttered. “You are not submitting me to some reality tv show.”

“I am.” Arthur insisted. “Cuz’ honestly I’m well sure they aren’t really gonna take you. Like thousands of people apply. You may have been scouted, but you’re terrible with new people, and once they see you try to talk to anyone," he scoffed, "chances are they won’t want you. But…” he said “if they do want you, you’ll get a nice free holiday around some banging bodies, maybe practice what it’s like to have a little casual fun, and then come home. Plus it would be a great advertisement for the restaurant. I bet you could even work in cooking a few meals and then everyone in England would see you and want to eat here.”

“I can’t tell if I’m drunk or you’ve made a semi-sane argument for this” Jake replied. Arthur reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He tapped away and then turned the screen to Jake.

“Look mate 50,000 people applied last year. Fifty **thousand**. C’mon, take another shot of whiskey with me and then just risk it. Agree to take a 1 in 50,000 chance on a free holiday and free advertisement with a side of fit birds.”

“You’re a git Arthur and I think those maths are wrong - but fine. I’ll do it on one condition.” Jake threw back his shot, tossed the glass in the sink and turned around. “When they reject me there can be no more nagging over girl stuff. You have to let me be single until I find the right person, the right way. Deal?”Arthur raised his glass to Jake.

“Deal.”

____________________________________________

Jake went home that night fully believing he wouldn’t get picked. He was “ _too quiet_ ,” had “ _no banter_ ,” and “ _was a total melt_ ” according to nearly all of the women who were now his ex-girlfriends. So, when the producers called Jake for a phone interview and then even a meeting in person, he still truly thought he’d never be selected. Now here he was standing in his bedroom over the empty suitcase they’d supplied him, packing to be one of the original cast for this season of Love Island.

“It will surely be a short trip,” he thought to himself as he began to rifle through his closet.


	2. Arrival

The trip to Spain had been easy enough, and his hotel room had been absolutely lush. Still, none of it really prepared Jake for what it would be like walking into the villa for the first time. The massive white rooms decorated with brightly coloured and suggestive neon signs did a frighteningly good job disguising the locations of the cameras.

 _Try to remember where they are._ Jake thought to himself as he was led by a producer into the bedroom. Nine identical beds stretched the length of the room, each with a different and vibrantly coloured duvet. It was hard not to immediately think of how close to each other they were and what that meant for, as Arthur put it, “practising casual fun.” Jake could feel his heart rate begin to increase, and it’s beating in his ears prevented him from hearing any of the producer’s instructions.

“Oh, shit, sorry – where was I supposed to put this?” Jake tapped his hand on the handle of his suitcase, intent on being able to follow instructions correctly.

“No worries,” replied the producer “lots of you guys have that reaction to this place, there’s really something about seeing it in person for the first time.” Jake laughed to himself, and responded with a nod of agreement rather than telling her he hadn’t bothered to watch any of the show before coming. So technically he’d never seen the villa at all.

“So don’t unpack anything yet,” the producer went on, “we’ll arrange all your stuff for you after the first coupling up. Then once you have your partner, you and her can sort of decide how you want to split the closet space. For now, you can go change and get ready in the bathroom up there and then just put your suitcase at the bottom of the stairs..” She continued “there’s a water bottle with your name on it in the bathroom, and the tap water here is fine, so fill it up regularly, and … I think that’s it for now.”

“Thanks” replied Jake.

“Oh, duh, the first coupling will start as soon as the last two boys arrive. They should be here in about 30 minutes so feel free to go and chat with your villa mates. Nice to meet you.” The producer then turned quickly and walked away as she began checking things off the list on her clipboard.

_“_ Nahhhh boys,” said a tall jacked man lying with his hand behind his head on the furthest bed from the door “you have to know I’m a lads lad, my type of girl is one who doesn’t take herself or me all too seriously you know. Like, don’t get me wrong I do want to find someone solid I can take home to me mum, but I need someone who’s not going to flip if I want a weekend in Ibiza with the boys.”

“Sorry to interrupt, just wanted to introduce myself, I’m Jake.”

“Pleasure to meet you bruv, I’m Mason,” said the tall man, “This here is Timmy boy.” He pointed to a smaller man with a slick undercut.

“Hey, hey hey, man good to meet ya.”

“And finally here we’ve got captain posh himself” continued Mason, jokingly capping his hand on the shoulder of a dark-featured and toned man with curled hair.

“My name is Jasper, it’s a pleasure.” he crooned, extending his hand to Jake.

“Mason, bruv,” continued Tim “you didn’t answer the question.

“I’ll know her when I see her, my type is a worldie,” Mason replied.

“Don’t be a toby now, you’re not being straight with me. Aside from a worldie who’s chill whats your actual basic type.”

“Alright alright, I like brunettes usually.”

“Good. Was that so hard?” Tim gave an over the top sigh of relief as he wiped imaginary sweat from his brow. “Honestly that’s lucky mate, up against you lot and your damn arms the size of dinner plates I think normally I’d’ve had no luck. But if you've got your eyes on the brunettes, I can make do with the blondes.”

“Oh, I forgot,” Mason laughed and took his hand from behind his head and put one cupped hand on the front of each hip. “Of course, my type has a tight arse.” He began thrusting his hips up and down underneath the imaginary ass between his hands. The 3 original guys all laughed and gave various versions of high fives and shoulder pats to each other.

_How do I fit in this group? All that talk about this bull TV show helping people find love and it's just more boys worried about shagging._

Suddenly the bedroom door burst open. A tall and luminously red-headed man rushed through the door and lept onto the central bed.

“Gentlemen, I'll call the airlines now and get you a group rate for a flight home? I hate to say it, but the ladies will all be mine.” He dropped down to sitting on the edge of the mattress and then sauntered over to rest of the group where he gave an exaggerated bow. “Miles Abernathy. Carpenter by day, lady killer by night. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” After Mason reintroduced each of the four men in the group they heard the sound they’d been waiting for.

“Ohhhh shit lads. I’ve got a text.” Mason reached into the pocket of his swim trunks, pulled out his phone and read aloud.

> **Boys - welcome to the Love Island villa. We hope you’re ready to have fun, sun, and most importantly, love! The girls are waiting for you outside on the lawn. You will enter one by one to get the most out of your first impressions. Remember, how you present yourself could make or break whether a girl wants to couple up. So make it good. #WhatsYourTypeOnPaper #FirstImpressions**

“Have you lot planned what you’re going to say?” Tim nervously asked the group. “Am I the only geezer who’s going in blind?"

“My body usually speaks for itself, so, I didn’t plan anything” Mason responded.

“Don’t worry Tim, I’ve got nothing either. Particularly, nothing that even resembles Mason’s confidence," Jake added. Jasper began to speak, presumably to offer some kind of advice, but was immediately interrupted by a _ding_. Jake felt the vibration in his pocket and reached in for his phone. He opened the message and then turned back to the group. “I’m first out. Guess I should change and then I'll see you on the other side.”


	3. Red was Always my Favorite Color

Jake felt utterly stuck inside the door to the lawn. His feet were glued to the floor, heavy as lead and unmoving.

_Just push open the door. You’ve literally known how to walk for 26 years, how have you forgotten now?_

He’d been doing what he thought was a decent job controlling his nerves and pushing through his reserve, but that had been with friendly producers and a group of excited boys. This was different. Once he was through the door he was supposed to be impressive, confident, sexy. Through the garden door was a group of insanely beautiful women to whom he’d have to speak, out loud, on national television.

_C’mon man, just walk out there and say hello. Forget the cameras. Forget that they’re all silently judging you and just go. Do it for the restaurant. Free advertisement remember._

Jake took a deep breath and counted to himself.

_“1…2…3…”_

With that, Jake pushed through the door and bounded outside landing square on the spot marked with his name. Before he could decide on any words his voice, making its own decision, crooned “How are you doing, girls? My name is Jake.” He took a moment to actually look at the women in front of him. Stunning, each and every one stunning.

_Fuck me. I don’t think I’ve ever been in the same room with this much perfect skin. Maybe Arthur was right, maybe a little fun could be good for me. It’ll be hard to resist if these are the options._

“A little nervous there, Jake?” chimed a dark-haired girl with bright blue eyes, a stark white bikini, and a voice like smooth caramel.

_Speak, idiot, god just say something._

“No, definitely no, just sort of overwhelmed by all the beauty.” He slowly looked over the line of women again trying to notice more details about them. He caught himself staring the longest at a girl in a bright red suit at the end of the line. He noticed the high waist and tied top. Simple details that highlighted her shape very well alongside a vibrant red colour that balanced the warm bronze colour of her skin. Her deep brown eyes ringed with numerous golden flecks. As he was taking her in she looked back at him, and just as he was working up the nerve to speak again, she winked. Jake felt all the blood in his face immediately rush to his cheeks and he broke the eye contact.

“AAAllllllright ladies? I’m Mason. We’re going to have such an epic summer!” Mason ran towards the lawn, did a front flip and flashed what Jake considered to be a smile likely worth an actual million pounds. As Mason continued his introduction, Jake’s eyes kept wandering back to the girl in red.

_Don’t be creepy dude. Stop looking at her. Look at Mason._

As he looked back at Mason, he saw that Mason was looking at her too.

“Sup?” Mason directed toward the girl in red.

_Real fucking elegant Mason, ha, at least when I do get words out they're better banter than 'sup._

The girl in red cast back a sweet smile toward Mason. Jake couldn’t help but wish that smile had been directed at him. Especially as he saw the look in her eyes as Mason reached up to guard his face from the sun, causing his biceps and abs to flex.

_I'd bet £1000 he fucking practices that move._

Mason was followed by Miles, who was followed by Tim, who was followed by Jasper; all of whose over the top entrances seemed to garner only polite smiles from the girl in red.

“Five boys and five girls. Is that everyone?” said the dark-haired girl. As if in response to her question, the door opened again. A moment of surprise turned into irritation for the boys and delight for the girls as the group realized the eleventh islander was another boy.

“Hello, Ladies! I’m Levi.” Jake felt in an instant like an ice cube began to slowly melt in his stomach as he saw the reactions of the woman to this final heartthrob. A petite blonde on the opposite end of the line called out.

“Well, hello Levi.” Her comment was followed by heavy blushing from both the dark-haired girl and the girl in red as Levi made eye contact with them. The girl in red even began biting the corner of her lip. Unsure of exactly what the next steps were, Jake looked down the line of guys to see who would make the first move. The dark-haired girl started toward him and reached out her arms pulling him into a big hug.

“Hey, Jake! I’m Talia, it’s so nice to meet you.”

“Wow, yea same.”

“It’s just so insane to be here, isn’t it? The villa, the view, all of you. I feel like I must be a right nutter and I’m just imagining it all.”

“For sure.”

“Well, aren’t you chatty one,” Talia laughed to herself. “It’s alright, I don’t think everyone is exactly made for this environment. I don’t mind taking the lead. So what’s your type on paper, what kind of woman are you looking for?

“Oh well…” he paused to think for a moment and looked over Talia’s shoulder. He could see the girl in red talking with Levi still biting her lip and pulling her chocolate brown hair around her finger. “Oh, um, you know I don’t really know.”

“You don’t know what your type is?” Talia replied, still in her warm, relaxed tone.

“No I mean, I guess I’m just a firm believer I’ll know it when I see it. I’m not much about looks, really just about the person, you know like who they really are.”

_Jesus, you sound full of shit._

“You’re interesting, Jake. Cause that sounded like a line, but your energy seems pretty real. You’re kind of like a mystery.” Just then a phone dinged somewhere in the crowd. “Find me later, Jake, I’d like to get to know you more.”

“Oh my god, what does it say, read it out!” shouted the petite blonde from across the lawn.

> **Islanders, you’ve got the rest of the day to get to know each other. You will couple up at the fire pit at sunset when the girls will choose their partners. The boy that isn’t chosen will be dumped from the island immediately. #getonthegraft #returnticket #girlsontop**

Jake’s could suddenly hear his heart beating in his ears again.

“Fantastic,” hummed Mason “we better get cracking then boys."

"Yes! Let's split up and explore the Villa," chimed Talia. " I want to see the roof terrace.

_Don't be an idiot she said she wanted to talk to you more, and she's gorgeous._

"Yea, absolutely, I want to see that too," said Jake. Talia raised an eyebrow and quickly took the few steps back to him.

"Let's hope no one else is interested just yet," she whispered. Talia grabbed his hand, intertwining her fingers in his, and pulled him off in the direction of the villa, her blue eyes actually sparkling every time she looked back at him.


	4. I’ll Know It When I See It

Talia lounged across the bench farthest from the door on the roof terrace basking in the sun and sitting up just enough that she could continue to look at Jake as she talked. “I guess since we’ve established you’re not exactly the wordy sort, I could talk about me first. I’m 23, from Watford. Tons of brothers and sisters, three each to be precise. The way I love attention, you could guess I’m right in the middle.” She paused for a moment and looked up at Jake, who was leaning out over the corner, silently taking in the view. “I love to travel, I do it a lot for my work, and it’s part of why I signed up for this, and obviously to chat to fit boys like you.” Jake could feel his cheeks begin to turn red again.

“Oh, goodness, thanks” he replied.

“Goodness? Fuck sake, Jake, you’re adorable. Did someone snatch you right out of an old-timey movie? You’re literally tall dark and handsome and say things like goodness without coming across posh. How on earth do you do it?” He turned to her, finally abandoning the view.

“You don’t keep your cards close to the chest then,” he said wryly.

“Ahhh, and so he has a sense of humour.” Talia paused and winked at him. “Hun, I barely have cards.” After waiting a moment in silence, she reached up and gently touched the outside of his bicep. “C’mon, bite a little. This is an absolutely mad situation, but the truth is we’ll never be in one like it again. What more reason could you have to be brave?” Talia slid her hand down the outside of his arm until her hand rested on his. She squeezed it gently and pulled, indicating he should sit next to her. Jake’s blush deepened, and he felt the warmth of her touch spread throughout his body.

_Arthur was right, it’s been too fucking long. C’mon Jake just talk to her._

“Honestly, I guess it just feels like if I project that I’m super comfortable… then maybe you’d be comfortable too. I’d like you to be comfortable because I want to get to know you.” Talia rested her hand on his knee and gave it a gentle rub. “Tell you what, I’m going to use the ladies, and when I get back I’m going to ask about you, and I promise I won’t compliment you any more until later. She whisked her self up and through the door and suddenly Jake was left with just the warm Spanish air and his own thoughts.

_I need a stiff drink, loosen up a bit. I like 1-Drink-Jake, he’s almost as fun as 2-Drink-Jake._

Just as Jake decided to go in search of some whiskey, the door leading back to the dressing rooms swung open. He reached to grab the top of the door and assist in opening it, but as he reached up, the small girl in a red bikini ran straight into his chest.

“Oh jeez, oh fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise…”

“Oh no, sorry, totally my fault…”

“No, I shouldn’t have swung it so hard and then…”

“Really it’s fine…”

“I’m such, I’m just so clumsy…”

“Its okay, honest, I’m Jake.”

“I know.”

“Right.”

“Right. Hello Jake. I’m Dax.”

Jake had known from the moment he walked out onto the lawn that Dax was beautiful, but what he didn’t realise until she was up close was that she was it. Just as he’d said, he would know his type when he saw it, and Dax was **it**. Up close to him, he could see where her swimsuit hugged every curve of her chest and hips. The heat of the day gave her a dew-like sheen that made her skin glisten. The gold specks in her eyes glittered even more furiously than before, and ever so faintly he caught the scent of vanilla and cinnamon.

_Fuuuck me._

_Tell her you were going to find her later. Fuck, no, that’s creepy, tell her, Talia grabbed you away, no, tell her…_

“I was really hoping you would actually come and chat to me. We caught eyes before for a second when everyone was walking in.” Jake finally let out a breath. Dax smiled coyly looking directly in his eyes and then around the terrace and off in the distance. Silence lingered as she walked over to the corner of the terrace; leaning out just as Jake had, to see what was over the side. Jake was rendered completely voiceless at the sight of the bottom curves of her full ass peaking slightly from the bottom of her suit. Unexpectedly the small robotic noise of a moving camera broke Jake’s trance. He quickly turned and sat on the bench farthest from Dax. “Yea, I mean the view is just so beautiful. That’s why I’m up here. To see the view.”

“Hmmm,” she replied, turning around, making it obvious she’d noted the distance he put between them. “So, seven weeks in this place, huh?

“Well, for most of us. Somebody only gets one day.”

“True, but I guess as the saying goes, love isn’t fair. Or is it love isn’t easy?”

“Honestly, I think if love were either it wouldn’t be so valuable.”

“Fair or not, do you think you’ll stay?”

“It would be an honour to be chosen by any of you girls. You all are incredible.”

“Oh yea, but the boys are superhuman levels of handsome too” she paused, “it’s kind of mad though you know, thinking you could come here and like find, the one? Don’t get me wrong you boys are all well fit but, it’s just that a lot of the girls are up on that idea, wandering around down there trying to figure out which of you will be their husband. We chatted about it before you boys came in. A lot of them are here for true love.” Dax spoke the words ‘true love’ in a sing-song type of sarcasm.

“And so I gather you’re not here for that same purpose?” For a moment the only sound between them was the mumbled chatter of the islanders below. Dax looked up at Jake, her brows raised and her lips curled into a questioning smile.

“Are you?”

Talia stole the moment waltzing out on the terrace. “Oh, hi guys. Am I interrupting something?” Dax looked at Jake to answer.

_Is there a polite way to say yes?_

_“_ No, we were just chatting.”

"Oh, good” Talia replied, "Jake be a dear and get us some champagne, would you? The first day in the villa seems like it calls for some celebration!”

“Sure, absolutely. Dax, can I bring you some as well?”

“Yes, I’d like that.”

_______________________________________________________

Jake wandered through the dressing rooms, the bedroom, and down to the kitchen where there were several champagne bottles and some spirits laid out. After pouring some champagne for the girls, he began to twist and turn the bottles trying to identify if any were whiskey.

“Well jeez fuck, and slap your nan.” Tim was clutching his chest and feigning weakness as he began to drape himself over the end of the kitchen counter. “Jakey-boy how will we ever be able to choose, how will we ever have the stamina? These are the fittest birds I’ve ever seen, and there's practically one for each of us.”

“The keyword there Tim is 'practically'. Someone is going home tonight, and if you’ll recall, it’s actually up to the girls who that someone is.”

“Couldn’t you just let me enjoy it? C’mon find the joy here, imagine all 5 of them and you, and you’re the king. Tell me that doesn’t bring tears to your eyes?” Jake rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help smiling just a little at the thought. “See, it’s only bants bruv. I’ve been over chatting with Erikah and she’s definitely a proper sort. I’m actually well chuffed to get to know ‘em."

“I’m glad, Tim,” Jake responded, finally finding the whiskey and beginning to pour some into a glass. “And you’re right, they’re stunning."

“And see, I was making my way toward the pool to crash a few other convos when I saw you up here breaking into the party juice. Care to share?” Jake filled a second glass and handed it to Tim while raising his own.

“God speed and good luck Tim, something tells me you’ll need it” he joked as they both grimaced through Jake’s heavy-handed pours. Jake poured himself another and made his way back up to the terrace.

_______________________________________________________

_Okay, Jake, they’re just people. Fucking stunning beautiful out of your league people. Stay chill. 1…2…3…_

Talia smiled wide “Ahh he’s back, and he’s brought himself something too.” Jake handed the flutes to Talia and Dax who were sitting together in the corner. “So, Jake,” Talia continued “just like I promised, tell us about yourself.” Jake shrugged and settled down on the bench next to Dax.

“I’m not sure what you want to know. I guess, 29, live in Preston, I work in a restaurant.”

“Ooh!” squealed Talia “Waiter or chef? I love a man who knows his way around the kitchen.”

“I’m actually the Executive Chef at Sweet Orchard, but it’s not as big a deal as it sounds really.”

“It’s not a big deal?” gawked Talia “It’s not a big deal? I’ve tried to get a reservation there basically every time I visited London for the last year. No one has the right to call themselves a proper London Foodie anymore unless they’ve been to Sweet Orchard. And you're saying it’s not a big deal?”

“It really isn’t, I hope that it’s a big deal one day, and I love that people love it, but I’ve still got so much that I want the place to be. Right now being Executive chef really means I set the menu and get in trouble when things go wrong.”

“Ohmigod,” cooed Talia “Humblebrag of the year ladies and gentlemen.” Dax finally chimed in.

“Still if it’s as popular as Talia says it must be a great menu, it also must mean you work all the time? Sounds like maybe you don’t have time for relationships.”

“Yeah well, that’s actually why I’m here. One of my boys back home signed me up, said I needed a little fun and to take a break from the restaurant for a little while. Sort of a reset, relationship-wise.”

“Won’t they mind missing you for the whole summer?” Dax continued.

“I might get sent home tonight, so, I’m not that worried. What about you, what do you do?”

“Me?” asked Talia “I’m a music journalist. I basically get paid to hang around backstage at gigs and go to festivals all summer. It’s honestly way cooler than being a chef.” Talia nudged Jake in the leg with her foot, and Jake laughed.

“Oh obviously way cooler.” He smirked playfully, nudging her back.

“Anywhoo, I guess we should probably continue mingling right? Dax, will you come to help me fix my look before meeting some of the others?”

_No, ugh, wait here and talk more with me for a second._

“Sure Talia, catch you later Jake,” Dax smiled softly and raised her now-empty champagne flute. “Thanks for the drink.”


	5. Stay Hydrated

Jake made his way down to the kitchen and, though he was beginning to feel the slight buzz of his first two drinks, poured himself another.

_Better make this a double, liquid confidence is going to kick in any second._

He sat down on one of the barstools and looked out over the rest of the villa. He could see small groups mingling about all over. A scary-looking girl with sharp cheekbones and an even more cutting glare with was with Tim and Miles at the pool, while Taliah had sat with Mason and another girl over near the gym.

“Hi, Hiii!” rang out a melodic voice behind him. He turned to see the petite blonde from before. “I’m Jen, it’s so lovely to meet you!”

“Hi Jen, I’m Jake. Pleasure is all mine.” Jake stood and pulled out the barstool next to him. “Care to join me?”

“Oh you are such a dear, I’d love to chat to you at some point, definitely. But, I actually just came down to grab Levi and I a bit of bubbly.”

“Getting on well with him then?”

“I think so,” she giggled, “honestly our convo has been easy and he’s just so fit. I just hope I get to pick before Dax. Have you met her yet? Brown hair, red bathing suit?”

_I’d call it more a rich chocolate colour, but..._

“Yea, we just met out on the terrace.”

“Oh, good.”Jen leaned around Jake to peak at the kitchen counter. “May I?” she asked pointing around him to the open champagne bottle. “I mean I know this is all a game, but she basically said upstairs she’s also interested in Levi, so I have to get back.”

_Fuck._

Jen grabbed two flutes from the bar and filled them in succession, “time is love here in the Villa, right?”

“Right.”

“Plus it’s not every day you’re competing for a man with a surgical resident. Did you know that? She’s like a bonafide medical doctor, NHS and all? Isn’t that just mad? Honestly, I can’t imagine having a job with so much stress. Fashion suits me just fine. Like, I was already stressed enough when the spring McQueen line came out at the same time as the Molly Goddard line. Anyway, I’m blathering, we’ll chat later?”

“Of course.”

_Wow. You absolute prat – she’s a fucking heart surgeon. You saw the most beautiful girl in this villa and convinced yourself you had a chance before you even knew what league you were trying for. Jesus Jake._

Jake refilled his glass and threw it back, fast. He didn’t care if he had too much. He was going to need it. Looking out over the villa once again, Jake decided to make his way toward the gym. He was pretty sure he could take a few extra doses of Mason, on top of which he was in no rush to meet the girl with the scary eyes. Before he’d made it halfway, Talia’s voice rang out from the kitchen.

“I GOT A TEXT!”

Laughter and shouting started in every direction as the islanders rushed toward the kitchen where Talia stood.

“Read it out!” shouted someone from the pack.

> **The girls only have a few hours left to size up the talent. What better way to get to know each other that with a game of ‘Never Have I Ever?’ Let’s find out who your fellow islanders really are. #FirstImpressions #TimeForSecrects #GotToBeReal**

“To the firepit!” Shouted Tim as the group buzzed with excitement for the first challenge. Jake followed along as he felt the whiskey finally begin to seep into his brain. As the group reached the firepit, Talia sped past Jake, grabbing his hand and pulling him down to sit next to her.

“Are you planning on staying mysterious through this too?” she whispered to him as Tim described the rules of the game to a few of the others. Her lips grazed the side of his ear as she whispered.

“Ha,” he chuckled “I wouldn’t play if I planned to cheat.”

“Alright, alright, alright folks settle down – just a reminder take a drink and stand if you’ve done the thing in question, good? Also, since its day dot and I don’t know if everyone has met - girls say your name?” The group shouted in excited agreement. Jen’s hand shot up in the air!

“Oooooh, me me me! I want to go first! I’ve got a good one! Hi, okay, I’m Jen and never have I ever cheated on someone.” Jen’s statement was met with “ooh’s” and murmuring.

_Shit._

“Straight to what matters” added Mason “I love it, none of those crap ones like ‘Never have I ever ate lobster.” The group laughed.

“So now, basically, if you’ve cheated on someone ever - take a drink and stand up.”

“We get it, Tim, thanks.” Jake slowly stood up, running his hand through his hair, ashamedly looking down into his glass as he took a sip. “There’s honestly, not a great story here. I was just a dickhead in uni, hurt someone I liked a lot.”

_Damn it, way to make a first impression._

Jake was met with some smiles of understanding and some murmuring as well. Everything in him wanted to look at Dax’s reaction but couldn’t. Instead, he felt Talia’s hand in his. “We’re all idiots in uni,” she whispered up to him rubbing her thumb on the back of his hand. Levi and a dark-skinned girl with box braids and a green bathing suit stood as well.

_Well, at least I'm not the only dickhead._

“Hi, I’m Erikah,” said the girl, and after an awkward moment, everyone sat down.

“Moving swiftly along,” said Talia breaking the silence “I’m Talia and never have I ever slept with someone without knowing their name.” Everyone looked around the group. Jasper grunted and stood. Dax stood as well.

“Oooooo, who was it, Dax?” asked Tim. She laughed.

“Well I don’t know, do I? Wasn’t that the point?”

_At least we have something in common now._

Jake took a sip of his drink and stood. “Come on, no one else?" There was a long silent pause. "Alllright then, I’ll carry us on then” Jake added sitting down. “Never have I ever had a threesome.”

“Really mate?” asked Levi, "someone that looks like you has never been able to bag more than one at a time? We’ve got to work on your chat then.”

Mason stood up, “Levi’s right bruv, when you look like us, it’s all in the chat.” The two boys had bumped their fists together chuckling.

“Oh jeez, the testosterone in this room right now is absolutely astronomical” Talia whined as she stood up. “It’s never about the chat boys, it’s about the other woman.” Almost in unison, Dax and the scary-looking girl both stood up.

“I’m Allegra," said the scary girl, "and she’s right.” The seated islanders began to yell and clap as Dax, Talia, and Allegra caught eyes and began to laugh as well. Mason and Levi avoided making eye contact.

Jake continued curious and smiling. “A foursome anyone?” Levi sat down. “Fivesome?” 

Talia, Mason, and Dax sat down as well, leaving Allegra standing alone as Jake counted higher and higher. “What, six? Seven? Eight?”

“I don’t really know how many people were there” Allegra purred proudly. “Like you said Jake, we were all different in uni. One thing led to another, and practically the whole floor was involved. But that’s all I’ll say for now.”

The group let out a bunch of whistles and catcalls. “Allegra the minx!” someone shouted.

Shifting uncomfortably in his chair Miles finally spoke up “Okay, okay, I’ve got one. Never have I ever had really amazing sex, that lasted all night, by a campfire, on the bonny banks of Loch Lomond and the lass was practically singing my name by the time we were done.” Miles jumped up and proudly took a swig from his can. There was a collective groan from the group.

“Mate, that was oddly specific,” said Mason rolling his eyes.

“He just wanted to brag,” groaned Erikah. “C’mon someone give us one more good one since Miles here didn’t want to play by the rules!"

“But wait,” shouted Tim, “Miles, there'something I have to tell you. It was me that night, I pretended to be that lady, and it was the best night of my life!” He threw himself back over Mason and Allegra’s laps, bringing the back of his hand to his forehead. “Take me here, take me right now!” The group broke into raucous laughter as Mason shoved Tim off his lap and onto the floor.

“Oh shut up, man” grumbled Miles.

As the islanders attempted to regroup, Jake couldn’t help but notice the dimple that appeared to on Dax’s right cheek while she laughed. Watching her laugh completely entranced him - the way her nose wrinkled up just at the top, the way she bit her bottom lip trying to regain control of her laughter, the rise and fall of her sensuous chest.

_I wonder what her lips would feel like on…_

“Jakey-boy, did you hear what I said?” asked Tim. Dax locked eyes with Jake and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Oh, um, sorry, what?” Jake replied.

“Never have I ever spent the night with someone of the same sex."

“Oh, gotcha” Jake said as he, Talia, and Dax all stood up. Jake turned to see Talia’s eyes fixed on Dax. Talia winked and stuck her tongue out. Suddenly Jake’s head, still filled with whiskey, was also full of fantasies of Talia and Dax.

_I wouldn't even need to play, fuck, I’d just watch…_

“C’mon no other guys?" Jake continued, trying to avoid letting his imaginations become visible to the group. "Ah well, maybe later in the summer.”

_Aaaaand now I sound more interested in men than women._

“Well, gosh,” whined Jen. “I can’t believe none of these has made me stand up. I feel proper basic.”

Levi turned to Jen, “Well, maybe we can set some of that straight this summer.” Jake noticed Dax’s expression immediately change as Levi moved closer to Jen.

“Ew no,” Jen laughed, “I don’t want a massive Villa wide orgy!” The group laughed.

“Don’t you worry Jen,” Tim chimed in, “I can take you down to Loch Lomond whenever you’re interested.”

“Oi oi!” shouted Miles as he playfully punched Tim on the arm. Tim laughed and jumped off the firepit platform, taunting Miles into a chase. Miles dashed after him and just like that the game seemed over. 

“Alright boys, go somewhere else” demanded Erikah, "I need to talk to my girls."

“Psh, no instructions needed,” Mason shot back, “we need lads chat too.”

_______________________________________________________

“Honestly boys, I don’t think I’ve ever sat in a bean bag before,” joked Levi, “its sort of a weird sensation.”

“Ha,” responded Mason, “Bean bags stuck to your balls or not, we’ve got to chat about these birds. Cause I know what I want, but I’m not about to step on any of my mates toes. Obviously, the girls are picking so we can’t control that bit but, we can at least air it out, like talk about who we're into” Mason suggestion was met with mixed positive responses. “I can see myself going for Dax but, shit, Allegra seems like a bit of fun.”

“Obviously Dax, she's a damn worldie, but Allegra really?” asked Tim, “doesn’t she seem a bit aggy to you? Kind of got that crazy eyes attitude?”

“I can’t read her vibe exactly yet, but she seems like a screamer... and that ass. Count me the fuck in,” Mason said dryly. A couple of the guys chuckled. Levi sat up.

“You’re right about Dax, man, she's something. My type on paper exactly, and really interesting seeming, like easy to chat to you know? But Jen’s also a bit of me. I told her I was in the Olympics and she practically asked me to couple up right then.”

_All of them? All three of them rate Dax. Fuck, I don’t stand a damn chance... Wait did he say Olympics?_

Jake clasped Levi’s shoulder “Oh, Jen is definitely interested. She mentioned it to me in the kitchen before the game.”

“Really?” Levi responded “Bang on. Honestly, she seems just sweet too, you know like one of those girls who’s fit as hell but your mum loves her too.” The boys all nodded in agreement. “I saw Talia sitting pretty close to you during the game Sir Jake. Care to comment?”

“No yea, Talia is fit, I absolutely rate her. We’ve chatted a bit today. She's pretty forward though, I don't really know if we're compatible, I think I might be a bit, quiet? Not sure if she’s planning on coupling up with me or someone else. ”

“Could be someone else,” added Jasper, “not to cause any problems. She and I sort of chatted a bit too is all. I’d be a git to say I wasn’t interested. She's really just so lovely and passionate” Jakes felt his breath stop in his chest.

_Well, there it is. Talia wants Jasper and Dax could have any guy here; you’re going home tonight man. Better make the best of it._

_______________________________________________________

More of the afternoon passed by feeling fuzzier and fuzzier as the whiskey hits its peak. Jake couldn’t help but feel trapped in a strange real-life version of a social media platform. Erikah, 20, Actor, Allegra, 24, from Swansea, Mason, muscle man, charmer, Miles, tattooed, carpenter. After hours of chat, Jake needed a second to himself. He made his way back up to the bedroom and fell flat on his back on the centre bed.

“Knackered on day one, handsome?” Talia’s voice came from the garden door.

“Ha, sort of,” replied Jake “I guess I’m just not used to this much…extroversion.” Talia walked over and sat down next to him, holding two rocks glasses.

“I was just in the kitchen with Dax. We decided it was gin o'clock. I don’t know if you’re a gin person but, I thought I’d take the risk.” Talia extended on of the glasses toward Jake.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” They both sat for a moment sipping their drinks. “So,” started Talia “what makes you such an introvert – nature or nurture?”

“A little of both. I’ve always liked a little bit of solitude, but my job and my lifestyle leave me on my own a ton.”

“Aren’t you the executive chef of a Michelin recommended restaurant where there's always a ton of staff and also customers?”

“Okay, enough with the executive talk – for me it’s about the food, right? People-wise I'm not the best communicator...”

“I’ve picked up on that.” Talia giggled.

“Right, sorry, I just mean being in a kitchen full of people can still really feel like I’m alone. It's this amazing room full of passionate energy and focused work, but it’s also an assembly line. I’m focusing on my own task and giving out orders. Which I wouldn’t exactly classify as social time.”

“Sounds pretty lonely.”

“It can be. Sometimes. But, it also leaves me a lot of time in my own head..."

_A blessing and a curse._

Jake continued, "which, for most people, I guess, thinking isn’t a really a hobby, but for me it is. It’s where I find the inspiration for my food.”

“Jake Wilson, I think that’s the most real thing you’ve managed to say to me out loud. Any chance it’s a sign of friendship growing between us? A little bit of trust?”

“I guess it could be.”

_Or it could be the 5 shots of whiskey plus gin._


	6. The First Recoupling

The guys all stood at the exit to the garden waiting on Mason and Tim to finish their hair.

“Ley's go boys,” called Levi, “hair gel can only do so much!” Jake had been the first ready, having not put too much effort in and thinking he was going to be sent home.

“Sorry sorry,” Tim yelled as they ran back into the bedroom. “We were walking through the girls' dressing, and they were all grabbing condoms mates. Dax grabbed a whole damn handful.”

_Fucks sake. It’s piss enough knowing I’m going home, but before I even got a chance she’s planning an all-nighter with someone else…_

“We wanted to make sure all you boys were covered. You’re welcome” continued Mason as he tossed each boy a bit of foil-wrapped _good luck_. “Are we ready mates?” Levi stepped forward

“Truly all, I know someone is going home, I guess it could even be me. But I just wanted to say it’s been good getting to meet you all, and I'm excited to continue being mates.”

“Alright, alright,” interrupted Mason, “let’s get us some birds.”

_______________________________________________________

> **Islanders, its coupling up time. The girls will be choosing the boy they want to couple up with. The boy who is left at the end without a partner will be dumped from the island. The first girl to choose is Talia. #PicknMix #NoPressure**

“Wow. Just like that, huh? No waiting around.” Talia took a deep breath and stood up. Jake felt as though his heart was throwing itself at his chest, and his ears began to ring.

_1…2…3… you got this. It’ll all be fine._

Smooth and relaxed as always, Talia began.

“Okay. I’d like to couple up with this boy because he seems like he might have some captivating hidden depths to explore, and he’s got really nice thick hair and strong hands…”

Just as he had all day, Jake caught himself staring at Dax. She was facing Talia, listening intently, and the flicker of the fire was reflecting in the gold of her eyes. She was the first thing he noticed when the boys walked out to line up. While her light pink jumper was barely long enough to cover her, it was the perfect length to make him wonder how soft the skin on her thighs was. The way she’d mixed such a soft-feminine colour with the leather of her thigh-high boots made his mind wander to thoughts of Dax in more leather. The mental images caused his body to react. Jake looked down at his shoes as he subtly adjusted his slacks.

_Oh fuck, fuck, fuck you’re on TV mate. Cold Showers. Football. Graham Norton. Nan…_

“I’m really sorry to anyone who’d had their eye on him, but the boy I’d like to couple up with is…”

The _Queen, undercooked steak, Borris Johnson…_

“Jake!” Talia exclaimed. Mason nudged Jake with his elbow.

“She called your name bruv. Get up there” Mason whispered nodding his head in Talia’s direction.

“Oh, wow,” Jake sputtered. He jogged over to Talia, gave her a small peck on the cheek, and they sat down on the bench behind the fire pit. “I seriously didn’t think you were going to choose me,” Jake whispered to her as Allegra stood up to make her choice.

“You are as dense as concrete Jake. Isn’t it obvious how attracted I am to you?” She gently placed her hand on the inside of his knee and slowly stroked his leg higher and higher. A jolt of electricity went up through Jake’s spine, he sat silently, unsure of how to respond.

“The boy I’d like to couple up with is Mason," Allegra finally announced.

“Talia, you’re absolutely stunning and so interesting…I just…why me?” Jake slid just an inch away from Talia as Erikah’s phone beeped.

_Don’t do this mate, it’s day dot. Give this a chance, she’s into you, she's stunning, this could be the chance that Arthur was talking about. Casual. Fun._

"I’m just so intrigued by you -" Talia whispered. "We’ll talk more after the recoupling. Yea?”

“Perfect,” Jake replied just as Erikah and Tim sat down next to him. Jen’s phone beeped loudly.

“Oh! I guess it’s me." Jen said jumping up in from of the fire pit. "I came on this show hoping to meet the man of my dreams…”

Jakes's eyes wandered once more to Dax. Something about her had expression changed, she was biting the inside of her lip. Though, instead of containing joy as it had earlier in the day, it looked like she was carrying disappointment.

“I’m really excited about where this is going to go," Jen continued. "So, the boy I want to couple up with is Levi!”

Jake could immediately tell. Dax was disappointed that Jen had made it to Levi first. Knowing she would've picked someone else stung, but the moment only got worse when Dax stood up a little straighter and winked at Levi the moment Jen turned to sit.

_You knew she wouldn’t want you, be grateful for still being here. Be grateful for Talia._

Dax stood up and faced Miles and Jasper, the remaining two boys. “Okay, so, things haven’t gone exactly as planned…” Jake relaxed for the first time since walking out. If he couldn’t be with her, he was at least grateful for this moment where watching her was allowed. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy where I’ve landed. I’m choosing this boy because his fun spirit makes me think we could be a really exciting couple, on top of which I think he’s sort of… interesting.” Jake turned to whisper to Talia.

“Do you really think she’s at all chuffed these are the two left?” he asked.

“No way, she’s too nice. Honestly, I thought she might be considering you this morning, but she made it pretty clear to Jen during our chat she was going to pick Levi if she got called up first. Why? You jealous?”

“No, I mean, no – she’s lovely I obviously want to get to know her but jealous, no definitely no. Just happy you’ve chosen me, and curious is all. Not jealous, no.”

_Mate, stop talking. A single ‘no’ would’ve been fine._

Dax finally announced, “the boy I’d like to couple up with is Miles.”

“Alright!” cheered Miles as he waltzed up to Dax, throwing his arms around her shoulders, and then kissing her dramatically on the cheek. Jake could see Miles whispering something in Dax’s ear as Jasper began saying his goodbyes.

“I’ve got a text,” said Dax, dropping Miles’ hand to reach for her phone.

> **Unfortunately, Jasper’s time on Love Island has come to an end. He must pack his bags and get ready to leave the villa. #shortbutsweet**

“Well, the best man won, eh?” chortled Miles.

“Leave it out, mate,” bit Jasper.

“Both of you calm down,” yelled Dax clearly irritated by the pair.

“That’s easy for you to say,” barked Jasper, “you’re not the one who’s just been dumped.”

“Look, Jasper, I didn’t want to be in this position,” she replied, “I feel guilty enough that one of you is leaving while the rest of us stay, let alone that it was my decision who that would be. Please don’t make this harder or make yourselves look like prats.”

“Alls fair in love and war mate,” said Miles turning to hug Jasper. Jasper flinched out of the way and stormed inside the villa, muttering under his breath the whole way.

“Drama aside, we seem like a pretty happy bunch. Did everyone pair up with the person they wanted?” asked Levi clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“Absolutely,” crooned Talia putting slipping her hand into Jake’s back pocket and pulling him close.

_No._

_______________________________________________________

“Night one, coupled up, how’re you feeling over there handsome?” Talia turned to gaze up into the moon as she gently twirled her legs in the edge of the pool. Jake could tell this moment was supposed to be more, supposed to mean more.

“I don’t really know.”

“Can you give me a hint?”

“Well, um, really, this whole situation is just a bit confusing. I think you’re an absolute proper sort, Talia. I’m excited to spend time with you and learn more about you, but it just feels like everything here wants me to move so much faster than I was planning.”

“I get that, I really do. I mean it’s technically still the very beginning, and you lot haven’t even really had the chance to choose. It was us girls' choice.”

“I really hope you know how lovely I think you are, and how grateful I am you chose me. I want to see where this goes, but I guess my pacing is just off.” Talia drew her legs out of the pool and curled them underneath her facing her knees toward Jake. She gently laid her hand on Jake's cheek.

“Jake, I don’t expect anything to be set in stone. Choosing you today meant I think you’re absolutely fit and seem like a wonderful person. I fancy you and just want to see where it goes. It doesn’t have to mean anything huge.” Silence lingered for a moment before Talia leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jake's lips. Her kiss was soft and tempting, and she bit the edge of his bottom lip as the pulled away slightly. “Do you want me to stop?” Talia whispered, her forehead still touching his. Jake answered by reaching his hand up to the back of her neck and caressing down around her collarbone to the top of her chest as he pressed a second kiss back to her lips. For the first time all day, Jake felt bold, he felt confident; until Dax entered his mind.

“And rather than get to know me **properly** , you'd rather just get on with chatting up some **other girl**?” Dax's voice could be heard clearly from where Jake and Talia were sitting at the other end of the pool. “It’s the very first thing you say to me when we get to be alone together.” Jake could hear the hurt in her voice, and every bit of his body immediately wanted to make sure she was okay, but he held his ground. Talia pulled away as she and others around the villa began to overhear more of the fighting.

“Maybe we should head to bed? I'd like to share with you tonight; if that’s alright.”

“Sure, I’ll get changed and wash up and meet you inside.”


	7. That Guy

Jake woke up the next morning feeling like he was sixteen again at stay away camp. The heavy beating of a six-whiskey hangover was tumbling through his head. After noticing Talia was already out of bed, he pulled the duvet up over his face desperate to get just five more minutes of sleep.

_Will every morning be this damn loud? Fuck sake._

“Morning everyone!” “I’ve made coffee?” “Do you mind?” “I’m trying to sleep.” ”Rise and shine, breakfast in ten!” “How do you look so good right when you wake up?” Jake tried his hardest to ignore the commotion, going so far as to stack the pillow, on top of the duvet, on top of his head.

_It’s no fucking use._

“Who’s making all that noise?” “It’s Miles!” “Ugh, we’re not even out of bed and you’re already cracking on?” He officially gave up as the room began to empty, and through the duvet, he heard one specific voice above the others.

“Yea, choosing who was getting dumped was absolutely stressful, and honestly now I don’t even know where I am with Miles.” Dax’s familiar honeyed voice snapped Jake to complete consciousness and calm.

“What even happened last night?” asked Erikah, “I wanted to come chat to you, but Tim insisted on showing me his rhyme book,” she said widening her eyes and stifling a groan. 

Dax laughed, “Okay, we’re not glossing over that – you have to tell me about the rhyme book later.” The girls giggled together. “Truly though I don’t even know what happened, like, I coupled up with him, and he obviously wasn’t my first choice, but we sit down to talk, and it’s like I don’t exist. He’s looking around and not even listening. And then he starts going on about am I okay if he’s grafting on other girls.”

_How could he possibly want to be looking at other girls?_

“Yikes babes” groaned Erikah.

“I know,” Dax continued. “And I just mean, I know it's massive early days, I’m actually totally chilled about him chatting to other girls, I have my eyes on other guys but like…”

“No, I totally get it,” interrupted Erikah. “It’s like could we at least have a chat and a cheeky snog before heading to the divorce settlement?”

“Exactly! I just felt like he could’ve played along a little bit. I just feel like romance is dead.”

“Aw babes, noooo.” Erikah crooned. “Ugh, okay, I have to brush my teeth but like, if romance is alive anywhere trust me, it's in the freaking Love Island Villa.” Jake heard footsteps as Erikah walked out of the room.

“But so, what's the score then with you two,” said Allegra. “Like are you going to try and patch things up or are you planning on cracking on with someone else?” Jake held his breath, and for the first time felt uncomfortable at the fact he was listening in on a private conversation.

“Honestly I haven’t decided,” Dax replied.

“I guess whatever you decide, please don’t try anything with Mason. I really want to try and make it work with him.”

“Don’t worry” responded Dax in a genuine and gentle tone. I’m no threat to you Allegra, Mason isn’t my type, I just see him as a potentially good mate.”

_That’s good news._

“Okay, cool, good to know we understand each other.” Jake heard the bedroom door swing open violently and hit the wall.

“Ladies, seriously come with me. Right. Now.” laughed Erikah. Quick footsteps and laughter swarmed towards the door, and suddenly the room was silent. Jake overturned the top of the duvet, relishing breaths of cool air.

_I’m sure someone has made coffee by now._

Jake wandered into the kitchen still in his pyjamas and filled a mug with coffee; his head full of excitement and worry. From the bar, he had a pretty decent vantage on the rest of the villa. He could see down into the gym where Levi was lifting, and Mason was checking himself out in the mirror. Though he couldn’t see the sun loungers, he could hear Miles and Jen having a playful row about whether or not a kilt was actually a skirt. On the edge of the pool, the dark bronze of her skin and the bright white of her bathing suit made Talia almost glow as she applied suncream to her arms and legs. 

Jake felt instantly like liquid guilt was filling his lungs. How could he carry on with Talia consistently thinking about Dax? But what was even the point of his fantasies about Dax? She clearly wasn’t pursuing Mason or Miles, which left the pool of available boys relatively smaller. But that didn’t really mean he had a chance. Dax would want someone confident, and Talia deserved someone who thought about her as much as he thought about Dax.

 _Fuck, I’d say most girls deserve better than you_ mate.

Jake sipped his coffee, pushing thoughts of doubt from his mind. This whole experience was supposed to be fun right? The peace of the empty kitchen made everything feel a bit lighter and made it easier to organise his thoughts.

_Priority one, Talia. Do not throw away a chance at an absolute stunner who’s clearly into you._

Mulling over how he could get to know Talia and make her feel seen, he couldn’t help but feel as though putting her on his mental “to-do” list felt a lot like treating a woman as a chore, and that didn’t sit quite right.

_Maybe Dax was right, perhaps romance **is** dead. Fuck._

Jake walked his now empty mug to the sink, rinsed it out, and headed for the pool.

“Well hello sleeping beauty,” chimed Talia who was laying out across the short edge of the pool. “Did ya have a nice lie-in?” she asked lifting her top half to rest on bent elbows.

_Confidence is key, mate, Talia wants confidence._

Jake smirked, “Ha. Ha. You know you could’ve stayed in bed too. I might’ve liked that,” Jake raised a seductive eyebrow.

_Uh, cringe. Why did you say that?_

“Oh,” the air felt perfectly still for a moment “The bedroom just got pretty lively this morning, like a living alarm clock. Plus, I don’t reckon there’s a thing I love more in the world than a good sunning so, I’m usually up and out when the sun is up and out.” Jake plopped down at Talia’s feet, letting his own legs dangle in the pool. “Did you try Miles’ terrible coffee?”

“Yea, I had some. Usually, I just grab a packet of instant from the petrol station near my house on the way into work, so, the coffee here actually felt like a treat.”

“Your standards are grotesquely low chef, but I like the work ethic, so I’ll let you off easy.” She turned over to sun her back.

“Ha, aren’t you gracious” they both smiled, “Honestly, we didn’t get to chat as much as I’d’ve liked last night.” Jake sighed and laid back across the tile, clasping his arms behind his head. “Tell me, how did you end up as a music journalist? That doesn’t exactly seem like the kind of job they put in the classifieds?”

“I’ll tell you if you’ll be a doll and rub some of that suncream on my back.” Jake, sat up, grabbed the bottle, and gently began rubbing small neat circles of sun cream over Talia’s back. “I don’t know if it’s all that interesting a story. Basically, I majored in English at uni because I wanted to be a wartime journalist. My family heritage is Afghan, and so I thought it would be this brilliant way to travel and to learn more about where my family was from. But essentially, I hated it. The world was full of such terrible, terrible news, it just really made everyday sort of trash. I actually never even got to cover my own hard news story. Just doing the leg work for other reporters during my junior internship made me realise – I couldn’t handle it. So I quit. That summer I started travelling to festivals, burning through my savings, you know, doing a lot of uppers and the whole ‘I’m 20, so I have to find myself’ thing. But while I did, I realised there were lots of people actually writing about the music. So I finished my degree and added a self-study in lyric poetry and, well, yea. Just sort of started building up a base of people that, I guess, like what I have to say.”

“Wow,” Jake snapped the suncream closed and rubbed his hands on the outside of his shorts. “I certainly didn’t have a clear enough head at 20 to do something like that.”

“Ha, my head wasn’t exactly clear, but thanks, I’m lucky it’s worked out,” she paused. “Efficient job with the suncream...” An uncomfortable silence grew between them. “Can I ask you something sort of, forward?”

_Shit, has she seen me staring at Dax?_

“Sure.”

“How in hell did you end up on Love Island?” Jake let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. “You’re a perfect specimen of man, but you don’t seem to really be comfortable with this whole set up.” Jake took time to explain about Arthur, the restaurant, the scout, and the free advertisement. “And really, well, it had just been really long since I took the time to get to know someone. Being at work all the time means I don't have the time to just date around.”

“Wow. A year and a half. So like, you never just hook up?”

“You’re just like Art. All about the shag”, he taunted. “Never mind listening about my love of food, or my plans for the future. You’re all rubbing my thighs and breaking out the sun cream, oh I’m onto you.” Talia laughed and shoved his shoulder.

“Piss off, alright? I just think sex doesn’t always have to be some crazy intimate life-changing thing. It can be a fun hobby as long as you’re safe about it.” Talia flipped over again and this time sat up cross-legged facing him. “I just can’t wrap my brain around how you don’t hook-up?” Jake felt Talia scan her eyes from his face to his abs, finally landing between his legs. “Mmmmm, look, I don’t think I’m being forward when I say you’re a fucking Adonis. That’s just fact. On top of which, you’re successful and passionate. I cannot figure, how with the number of girls that probably throw themselves at you, there haven’t been a few that gave you the spark. You know, that crazy feeling that melts your knees and makes your happy parts flutter. That thing that makes you want to throw someone down right there in the middle of your fancy restaurant and make them scream, even if it is just for one night. ”

“Cause it’s more than that, I don’t know. Obviously, I’ve had that feeling, I know what lust is. And there have been girls I took home just for the night. It just didn’t feel the same as when it was someone I actually cared about. I’m can't be some bellend lad, dropping lines, constantly trying to win people over. Honestly, the more I’m here, the more I feel sort of fraud. Like I let Arthur sign me up for all this when I knew all along I’m just not that guy. ”

Talia raised her large sunglasses off her face and lifted them onto her head. As they strained to hold back her many curls, she looked down and shook her head. “So don’t be **that** guy.” Talia raised her eyebrow mocking Jake’s seductive failed opening line.

“Okay…” Jake folded his arms, feeling defensive for the first time a while.

“Like, you think to bere here, you have to be Mason or a Levi. And because you know that’s not you, you've resigned yourself to not seizing this opportunity. Every move you’ve made since we’ve been here seems like a measured response to my advances. But getting something out of this won't come from you disappearing into what I want, or pretending to be someone else. You have to go for what you want the best way **you** know how.”

Jake scoffed, “Not everyone is as open as you are Talia.” She rolled her eyes and set a friendly hand on Jake’s knee.

“I get that.” Talia sighed. “But end of day, you can’t control what other people think or want, right? So what’s the point of acting some way you think you’re supposed to. Obviously, don’t be a dick, but like, there’s a reason that out of all the guys I picked you.” Talia adjusted her legs underneath her and spoke calmly, looking straight into Jake’s eyes. “All you have to do now is start trusting us all with who you actually are, and decide if you want me back.”

Jake uncrossed his arms and let out a deep sigh. “I just think that…” he trailed off.

“Jake, you’re fit as hell, and actually interesting, and kind. And I know that about you in only a few days. I also know that as careful as you are, you never expected to be here today. So just carpe diem, right? Take this opportunity to act on how you actually feel, regardless of what you think the rules are, regardless of what you think other people find attractive. Just figure out how to be you, and if you want to shag while you figure all that out, as long as the suns up, I’ll be right here.”


	8. Just the Beginning

_‘start trusting us all with who you actually are, and decide if you want me…’ fuck, easier said than done._

Talia’s words had swirled around Jake's head for hours.

_‘start trusting us all with who you actually are, and decide if you want me…’_

Jake flopped forward onto his bed and reached over the side to slide his suitcase out from underneath. This would all be easier if he could muster the damn courage to talk to Dax. To try and get any sense of what she thought, what she was really looking for. Their conversation on the first day had just finally started feeling easy when Talia interrupted. Despite how hard he was working to convince himself a relationship with Talia could be exciting, he held the tiniest bit of resentment toward her for coming back out to the roof terrace that afternoon.

_Fucking-a, where is it…_

Digging through his suitcase, he knew there was really only one thing he could do to clear his mind. He hadn’t planned on writing while he was in the villa, but he had packed his notebook just in case. A pang of delight crossed his eyes at the feel of the broken black leather spine in his hand. He quickly zipped his suitcase and shoved it back under the bed; all of a sudden, he felt hopeful. Where could he go? The bedroom was too risky, people would definitely come and go and likely ask too many questions. The roof terrace? No, that’s where Levi had his afternoon appointments to brood. He settled on heading toward the private benches at the end of the pool past the big sitting area. Jake liked the idea of having a wall up behind him while being able to see out across most of the lawn. After pausing in the kitchen for a pour, Jake took his whiskey and his journal down to the bench.

Unwinding the leather rope that held it closed made Jake feel giddy, he knew somewhere a camera was watching, but was determined not to let that stop him. For what seemed like an hour, or maybe more, he tried to actively think and write, of Talia. Her crystal blue eyes, the courage she gave him, how comfortable she made him feel. He wrote short notes of things she’d said that made him think, and things she’d said that made him laugh. Then he tried to write about their kiss.

_It was... warm and wet._

He laughed at himself.

_Those are the best words you can describe it with? Really?... Her hand on my knee felt…_

_...l_ _ike a hand on my knee. Jesus._

Exasperated, Jake closed his eyes and dropped backwards on the bench. Opening his eyes, he saw a face looking down at him over the top of the wall.

“Alright, soldier?” asked a sweet, soothing voice. He quickly tucked his notebook under his leg and sat up.

“Yes, for sure, just, enjoying the view.”

“Of the sky?” Dax skipped down the stairs to where he sat.

“Ha, no,” Jake sat up, “I was looking out at the horizon here for a while.” He gestured widely to the rolling Spanish hills in front of them.

“Seems like every time I find you you’re enjoying a view,” she giggled.

_If she only knew…_

She was in a dark purple swimsuit, more revealing than some of her others, that had various straps clutching at her sides and hips. Her toned physique was on full display and the straps brought back his fantasies of leather. Jake had to look away to continue forming full sentences.

“I guess I just like spending some time with my thoughts and such.”

“Mmmm.” She paused and for a moment stood next to him quietly taking in the hills. Her glittering eyes were set steady to the horizon, skin glowing with the last orange rays before twilight. The air between them remained as still as the mountains themselves, but Jake knew his heart beating so loudly in his chest might ruin the moment and so he looked away, letting them stay lost in the moment a while longer. After a long moment she turned to him with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“What?" Jake asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“What are you hiding there?”

_No, no no….._

“Nothing, honestly.”

“Oh tell me please,” she knelt down onto the bench, barely an inch from him, and batted her delicate lashes. “I can’t stand secrets,” she begged, touching the tips of her fingers to the edge of the leather spine that stuck out from under his leg. “Go on, I promise I won’t tell anybody.” Jake couldn’t put a finger on it, but something about Dax put him at ease. Perhaps it was the calm steady way she spoke, or how genuine her interest seemed, or how comfortable he'd felt in the silence. Jake couldn’t remember the last time he’d shared his writing with anyone, let alone someone he fancied. Still, the way she looked at him made him feel like perhaps he was the only person in the world; and for some insane reason he actually wanted to show her.

“Alright, alright, fine. It’s really melty, I know, it’s just,” he faltered as she interrupted.

“Oh good! I need a little romance in my life right now. Is it about Talia?”

“Well, yes, actually – it’ll probably be good to talk to someone about this.” Jake pulled the book from under his leg and held it up. “I’m trying to do something nice for Talia. We’ve had sort of a rocky start you know?” Dax nodded, listening carefully, a slight wrinkle in her nose, her eyes full of care. “See I think she’s wonderful, and obviously fit, but I don’t know if there’s that, spark? You know?”

“Absolutely, that spark is so important, if you don’t have it in the beginning then when will you ever?” She looked down into his lap and then back to Jake. “Sooo, where does the book fit in?”

“Well, this is the sort of melty part. I want her to know I'm trying right? That I'm serious about giving us a shot? So. I’m kind of trying to write her a poem.”

_Steady on Jake, keep telling the woman of your dreams how serious you are about someone else. Perfect, fucking perfect._

“Aw Jake, please tell me you’re not about to show me something super cringe?”

“That’s kind of the problem. I’ve been sitting here for forever trying to write something for her, and all I’ve been able to come up with is this," he flipped the book open to the page he’d been writing on. “Roses are Red, Violets are blue, If you were a rare genetically variable fruit tree, I’d be grafting on you.” Dax let out a stream of sweet, full, curling laughter. Her dimple was in full flex, and soon they were loudly laughing together. Jake felt all the tension in his shoulders release, and for a moment, he just looked at her. She was glowing, absolutely streaming with light.

_god, she’s beautiful as hell._

“Oh Jake, please tell me you’re not going to read that to Talia.”

“No, no. I know I can’t. I swear I’m not usually this bad a writer.”

“Why is there so much in there about plants?” she asked, struggling breathlessly to get words out over a second wave of shared laughs.

“Ahhh,” chortled Jake “I don’t know. I really don’t. My dad is a horticulturist, I guess I was just writing what I know?”

“Fucks sake, Jake,” Dax was wiping tears from her eyes, “I’m no bloody Shakespeare, but I don’t think he was thinking of his dad while writing his sonnets.”

“It’s just writers' block. I’m stuck.”

“Oh, chin up soldier,” she said, placing her hand on his bicep. “I’m just winding you up. Before you go bending backwards trying to write a new one, you said you’re usually not this bad. Are there others?”

“Yea, a bunch actually.”

“Are any of them good?”

“I think so?”

“Ok, read me your favourite then, and we’ll start there.”

“Um, ok.” Jake flipped to a familiar dog-eared page and cleared his throat as Dax assumed a more serious expression.

_In this space right here, that we have made for each other,_

_you can say anything, and I will not abandon you. Unwrap_

_the worst things you have done, then, watch me hold them_

_up to the light and not even flinch._

Jake spoke the final line of the poem and the two sat silently for a moment, breathing slowly in unison. Jake noticed a profound sadness in her eyes, but in a flash, her expression brightened again.

“That was stunning, Jake. You wrote that?”

“Yea.”

"Call me crazy but I thought you were a chef?" Jake smiled.

"I am, but my mom was a poet and she homeschooled me until lower fourth. My parents were sort of, free-spirited and they didn't really believe in punishment. So basically every time I got in a fight or talked back or whatnot, she would make me write a poem to explain what I was feeling. Once I started in a proper school I quit for a while. Figured it wasn't a very manly hobby. But eventually, as I got older, I realized I missed it, so I started back up. Now, especially in relationships, it’s just my way of processing how I feel about people. Trying to describe them in a poem helps me figure out who they are to me, why exactly they’re important in my life."

“So, who was that one about? Why was she important?”

“Actually my last ex. She was this amazing pastry chef I’d worked with for a while, honestly, the most skilled baker I’ve ever known. But she struggled a lot, had some real darkness that I arrogantly thought I could save her from. My head was full of knight in armour bullshit. When we were good, and she was clean, things were amazing, but we’d get into these rows when she was using.” Dax reached out and placed her hand over Jake’s heart, “I would beg her to come and live with me. I thought if I could just keep an eye on her? Anyway, it didn’t work out, obviously, but I really learned a lot about myself and how to be there for someone without thinking you can change them. Even though I wrote the poem about her, it's also about me. I use it to remember that I have to sort of hold who I am into that same light, trust people, if I really want to find someone.”

“I think I’m going to like you Jake. I didn’t really understand what Talia meant when she picked you at the last recoupling, something about hidden depths. I think I get it now.”

“Oh… well good to hear you didn’t like me before,” Jake joked lightening the mood and nudging Dax's side with his elbow.

“Nooo! Stop you know that’s not what I meant. You’re just so easy to talk to. The other boys in the villa are constantly grafting. Grafting. Grafting. Grafting. And it’s like, just so wonderful to sit here with you, all the pressure off and really learn about you, bond as mates you know.”

_Fuck._

Jake felt instantly nauseous as her words echoed in his head.

_Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates.Mates._

“Really though, if you can write like that I’m sure you’ll be able to put together something for Talia.” Dax clapped her hands together as if praying. “Just please, please don’t read her that first one. I’m telling you, as a woman, we don’t want to be compared to plants.”

“So you’re saying my poem needs ‘ **sprucing** ’ up?”

Dax groaned and rolled her eyes, but couldn't disguise her growing smile. “Exactly, I 100% be-‘ **leaf** ’ in you!”

“My god, we’ve got to be the lamest pair in the villa right now. No wonder we’re the ones unlucky in love.”

“What are you talking about, as a chef you should be able to tell we’re a couple of ‘ **peaches.** ’” She chuckled again. “Alright soldier I’m in dire need of some crisps, so I’m over and out. But I promise I owe you one super deep story about my life.” She hopped up off the bench and started up the stairs. Turning back, she pointed right to him. “You and me, mate, this is just the beginning.”

_Fucking Mate._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem used in this chapter is an untitled work written by Trista Mateer during the 2018 National Poetry Writing Month. She is one of my favourite modern poets AND visual artists. She is amazing and you should look up her work.


	9. Golden Eyes and Golden Silence

“Me oh my, what a mighty strong may-un” Tim sang in an over the top American accent. “Bloody hell, are you pressing 125 kilos? Do you wanna try pressing me Jakey-Boy?” Jake laughed as he returned the bar to rack. Tim looked above his own head and tapped the bar above him lightly. He jumped up, grabbed the bar with both hands and hung limp.“Hell, I don’t even think I can lift me. Spot me while I try, yea?”

“That’s a pull-up bar mate, the ground’ll spot you.” Jake smiled, wiping the bench and his brow, and then threw the towel over his shoulder.“Surely you don’t need my help reaching the bar.” He balled the towel and threw it at Tim who ducked at just the right time and caught the towel in his hand.

“Ahh my friend this is where you’re wrong, I don’t go anywhere without a safety stool!” Tim gave the towel a twist and snaped it across the bench at Jake. The two began to wrestle as Tim’s phone beeped.

“Oi oi! I’ve got a text!” Jen and Dax ran over first.

“What does it say Timye?” Tim rolled his eyes.

“I share my rhymes and now this nickname is my life.” 

“Mate what is it?” Mason called from behind them.

> **Islanders, you’ve been in the Villa a for a minute now. It’s time to find out who’s been paying attention, and who’s just chancing it. Girls, head to the beach hut. Boys go to the bedroom. Erikah and Tim, head to the pool. All will be revealed. #GettingIntimate #MysteryQuiz**

“Alright,” shouted Mason “Let’s go boys.” Jake was practically swallowed in a cyclone of hooting, hollering, and jumping as the boys made their way to the bedroom. Levi started shouting even before they’d made it to the door.

“MEN OF THE VILLA! We are warriors, we are the titans, we are going to bring home the gold!”

“Hold up,” Miles flopped down on the bed nearest the door “am I not batting on a full wicket or is that something your coach told you at the Olympics?”

Levi jumped on top of the next bed over and threw a pillow on top of Miles.“It may have been a recycled speech.” The group laughed, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“Bruv,” Mason sat at Miles feet, “we don’t even know if we’re on the same team yet. If it’s me and Allegra versus you blokes. You know you’re going down.”

“Booooooooo.” “Can it.” “No fucking way.”

“Seriously mates, I don’t lose. And have you looked Allegra in the eyes – I think she’s killed a man bruv.”

Jake settled for leaning against the window when he noticed 5 envelopes lined up on the sill, one for each boy. “Alright enough you tossers, look, I think we’re supposed to open these.” Jake handed out the envelopes and sat on the end of his bed to open his. Inside was a sheet of paper with a bunch of questions in neat lines.

Jake felt excited. It was nice to think that for the first time in the Villa he would get to face something together with Talia. Surely it would help fuel the spark. Jake began to review the questions.

_Okay okay…._

  1. > Would you keep a suitcase full of money if you found one on the street?




_Shit, I’d want to, but a suitcase full. That could be really important to someone. Or it could be fueling organized crime. Either way, I couldn’t keep it._

  1. > Do you currently have a dating app installed on your phone?




_No, unless Snapchat counts? Probably not though, I guess that’s not technically what it’s for._

  1. > If you were getting kinky in the bedroom would prefer leather, feathers, or neither?




_Fucking hell, well, I have a preference._

Jake picked up the pen and wrote “ no, no, leather” and underlined leather, twice. This time it was his phone that beeped.

> **Boys, please go to the swimming pool where you will meet the girls. Sit in a row on the far end of the pool, your partner will sit opposite you. #PayAttention #AllWillBeRevealed**

As the boys jogged out to the pool, they saw the girls wandering down from the beach hut. The group erupted into waves of cheers and trash talk as they organized themselves on the pool edges.

“Hey guys!” Erikah shouted, “so Timye and I are the hosts for this challenge.”

“Are we ready to play a game?!” Tim called. All the islanders erupted once more into a cacophony of shouts and cheers.

Erikah stepped forward. “So, here’s how it works. Basically, you lot have all been answering questions, and now we’re going to see if you’re able to guess which answers your partners gave.”

“Yea,” Tim continued. “and then the couple with the most correct answers wins a prize – a fabulously romantic date outside the villa!” Jake saw Dax’s face immediately drop.

_Shit, the last thing she wants to do is go on a date with Miles. Fucking prat._

Erikah and Tim took a moment turned to each other to organize their cards and decide who would mark the scores. Erikah stepped forward. “First up we have Taliaaaaa!”

“Awesome,” Talia replied, casting a wink toward Jake.

“Ok, we asked Jake, ‘would you keep a suitcase full of money if you found one on the street?’ What answer do you think Jake gave?”

Talia pursed her lips and looked down a moment, but her eyes quickly brightened. “No, I think he wouldn’t. I think he’d understand that the money could be really important to someone and he’d leave or bring it somewhere safe.”

“Absolutely correct babe, 1 point to Talia.” Talia looked at Jake and raised her eyebrows excitedly.

“Alright, question two, we asked Jake ‘do you currently have a dating app installed on your phone?”

“Oh, this one’s easy we’ve chatted about it sort of. I think he doesn’t.”

“Yes babe absolutely, 2 points!”

“Eee yay!” whispered Talia as her fellow islanders clapped.

“Ok, final question and it’s a spicy one. We asked Jake, ‘If you were getting kinky in the bedroom, would you prefer leather, feathers, or neither?’ What do you think he prefers?”

“Hmmm, this one’s tougher.” Talia pursed her lips even tighter than before and squinted her eyes at Jake. Jake felt a bead of sweat forming on his brow. It hadn’t felt odd to write down his answer to the question, just truthful. But now, Erikah was going to read it out loud in front of everyone. He looked back at Talia, who was still clearly on the fence.

“Um, okay okay, I think neither?” An ‘oooooh’ spread among the islanders. “No, not that Jake is like vanilla or anything – just he’s such a romantic I feel like he’d be passionate in a more traditional way. Candles and music and stuff you know?”

“Actually I totally get that vibe too babe, but, you got this one wrong.” Erikah held up her card. “Jake wrote leather - and underlined it twice.” A handful of the delighted sounds of surprise echoed amongst the sitting islanders.

“Atta boyyyy.” Shouted Mason. Without thinking, Jake looked straight at Dax, who was looking back at him. She raised one eyebrow and smiled in intrigue. Jake feigned a clueless shrug and threw her a wink.

The game carried on. Jake felt quite proud having answered all three questions about Talia correctly, lucky enough they were easy ones. It didn’t hurt that Talia was a pretty open book. Jake was only half listening as Mason and Allegra argued over whether or not she was the kind of girl who would get all done up just for a night with the girls. He wholly tuned out as Jen and Levi got one question right after another. But every once in awhile he would steal a glimpse of Dax, letting his imagination indulge in the way the evening sun brought out the gold of her eyes.

Tim grabbed the cards from Erikah and handed her the chalk. “Ok, with Jen and Levi in a major lead, and Dax bringing in 3 out of 3 for their team last up is Miles!”

_This should be interesting, seemed earlier like the git didn’t even pretend to get to know her. What a fucking waste._

“When asked ‘are you a summer person or a winter person?’ what answer did Dax give?

_Winter._

“Oh that’s easy,” Miles sneered, “She a summer person for sure. Winter people are all cosy and cuddly and warm. But Dax is like the opposite, so she’s got to be summer.” Dax’s jaw dropped in shock.

_What the fuck mate?_

“That’s actually all wrong Miles,” chimed Erikah, “she wrote winter.”

“Oh, it is? Oi, whatever.”

Jake looked at Dax, who was laughing and rolling her eyes to Erikah. He could tell from her posture though that she was tense and the laughter forced.

“No bother,” Tim continued, “Jen and Levi got all six, so let's just have some fun with the next ones ey mate?” The group cheered, and Jen planted an over the top kiss on Levi’s cheek. Levi put his arm around her, and Jake immediately looked to check on Dax. She was biting the side of her lip. “Ok Miles, when asked ‘gin-tonic or Voda-energy drink?’ which answer did Dax give?”

_Gin. She’s too interesting for vodka._

“Well, Dax seems like a party girl, so I have to say Vodka-energy. Gin-Tonic is for grandmas and posh birds who want you to know how posh they are.”

_Fucking hell, how does he not know when to shut up._

“Oh my god, Miles,” bit Dax. For the first time, the whole group went silent.

Erikah cleared her throat. “Um, unfortunately, that’s the wrong answer. Again.” She paused. “Final one, and maybe just...answer. You know? We don’t need the whole thought process. We asked Dax, would you ever take someone home after a first date?” Miles took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t bloody well know. Sure, yes, I think she’s got a level head on her shoulders so if she liked the person and good a good feeling from them, yea I think she would.”

Erikah looked relieved “That’s actually right, who’d’ve thought it.”

Miles scoffed, “Oh, c’mon cut me some slack here.”

Dax put a hand on her hip “I mean, 1 out of 3 isn’t exactly a great score and -”

Tim interrupted “And that’s the end of our game folks, the winners are Jen and Levi! You two win the date!” Everyone but Miles and Dax broke into a chorus of cheers, as Jen jumped up, wrapping her legs around Levi’s waist and giving him a full-on snog. Jake looked over at Dax. Despite how much he wanted her, despite what he would give to be going on the date with her, he felt hurt for her. As she chewed the inside of her lip, Jake could tell that Jen’s show of affection for Levi had burst Dax’s hopes once again. Still, he couldn’t blame her, he knew exactly what it felt like to watch someone you want, want someone else.

_______________________________________________________

Jake could feel the leather of his notebook getting stuck to his hands as his palms began to sweat. “Um hey Talia, could I steal you for a chat?”

“Oh, absolutely babes, where to?”

“The day beds maybe?” Jake offered up his free hand to help Talia off the bean bag, but she bounded up unaided.

“Catch you later babes,” she said, tossing a wiggle-fingered wave to Erikah who had been lying out beside her. Jake followed Talia up to the daybeds and upon arriving dropped down to lounging on one elbow. “Whatcha got there?” she asked.

“Ok, so, don’t call me a melt, but I guess. I don’t know, I was thinking a lot about our chat from this morning. Right, you said start trusting you with who I am, and honestly, I’m a bit of a fucking melt. I wanted to do something to show you I’m sort of serious about you, and serious about finding a spark between us so –“ Jake wiped his hand across his brow and covered his eyes. The world felt like it was closing in on him, like the moisture hanging in the air was somehow getting heavier and heavier. “Fucks sake,” he looked back at her.

“Relax Jake, I’ll love you as a mate even if this is super cringe.”

“Ok, well, I wrote you a poem.”

“You wrote me a poem?”

_You’re absolutely killing this mate, oh, it's going so well. Fucking mug._

“Yes I wrote you a poem”

Talia giggled, “Well go on then, let’s get this through”

Jake sat up, opened his notebook, and cleared his throat. Just before he began, over Talia’s shoulder – he saw Dax; sitting with Tim up on the next level’s bench, splitting with radiant laughter.

_“They say silence is golden, I believe that is true, as in golden silence, my thoughts go to you._

_You are thunder of the night, as lightening you strike, I’d be whole if at all you’d gift me just one night._

_Your eye are the stars, all shimmer and shine, In golden silence, will you ever be mine.”_

Jake shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Babes I don’t know what to say, honestly it’s the thought that counts. It was so lovely. I guess I’m just not really like, old school that way. You’re so sweet to do this for me – and honestly, I meant what I said before. You’re absolutely ace Jake, I think my favourite person in the Villa...”

“But…”

“Yea, but… I think you and I are meant to be really good mates. ”

“No yea, I get that, definitely.”

“I’m gonna keep on in the sun, yea?”

“No, go for it, we’ll catch up later."

Jake collapsed backwards onto the day bed, just staring up onto the sunshade. How could he have been so dumb? Talia was obviously not the kind of girl that wanted poetry. Certainly, now, she'd made that pretty clear, but if romance wasn't an option with Talia, what was next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poetry in this chapter is adapted from Silence Is Golden by Shelagh Bullman


	10. Story Repaid

Later that evening, and 3 whiskeys in, Jake sat around the kitchen island with Mason and Tim. “You boys think Levi is gonna stick in on Jen later?” Mason joked hopping up backwards to sit on the counter.

“Have you looked at the geezer? Shit, he could stick it on me if he wanted,” replied Tim, “but I think Jen probably has higher standards than I do.” Tim cracked open a beer. “Speaking of her, I’m not sure what to make of Jen yet. She’s a tricky one. Like she’s so buzzing all the time – you think that’s real? Or secretly she's one of those girls who won’t let you take your shoes on the carpet?” Jake and Mason both struggled to swallow their drinks.

Jake clasped Tim on the shoulder “Mate, I think you’re thinking of your mum.” Jake reached into the bowl on the counter and grabbed a hand full of crisps. As he walked to sit down at the bar, he turned back to Tim. “What about you and Erikah? How’s the vibe there?”

“Oh mate, its nothing steamy, or even close. Erikah is a proper sort, but we’re only ever gonna be mates. She doesn’t like my rhymes. So it’s a hard pass.” Tim took a swig of his beer. “How’re things with Talia?”

“I think she binned me?”

“I’m sorry, you think?” asked Mason

“No yea, I’m pretty sure. She’s well fit, and we had some great conversations. But, well,” Jake paused, “she used the word ‘mates.’”

“Oh the kiss of death bruv-” Tim grabbed the whiskey bottle and slid it down the bar. “Hear me out - I think what was missing is your personality,”

Jake clenched his fist to his heart in an exaggerated act of pain. “Ouch Tim, Ouch.”

“Not tryna be harsh, but Talia’s a firecracker. And you mate, you’re a little more…”

“Reserved?” added Mason. Tim snapped his fingers and pointed at Mason.

“Yea, reserved.” Jake poured himself another double.

Mason continued, “look, we love you bruv, absolute mates for life, but, be honest, I mean it's obvious she wants to shag you, but can you really see yourself keeping up with that bird on the outside?” He slid off the counter and turned to face Jake. “You’ve just gotta start taking some more chances. You know, add some spice to your banter.”

Erikah came springing down the staircase “Alright boys, the evening can officially start, who’s pouring me some champers?”

“Aye aye Captain,” responded Tim dashing to the fridge.

Mason pointed a finger toward Jake,“to be continued bruv.”

Erikah leaned her elbows on the counter, “soooooo, how do you boys think Jen and Levi are doing on their date? Ugh, Jen looked so glam when she was getting ready.”

Tim handed her a full flute of champagne, “Don’t tell Levi, but you’re right, she looked a bit of me for sure.” Erikah elbowed Tim in the ribs.

“Hello? I'm still your partner.”

“Sorry, Sorry. Don’t worry about Jen, she hasn’t got your smile.”

_Ha. Smooth recovery._

Tim’s compliment seemed to satisfy Erikah’s vanity as she blushed and sipped her champagne.

“I hope it’s going well for them,” Jake chimed in, “I think we all deserve something like that, like an actual nice romantic date, just the two of you, good food, good conversation, fewer interruptions?”

_Plus Levi out of the picture gives me a better chance with ..._

Dax rounded the corner into the kitchen with Talia just behind her. She was wearing a skin-tight glittered dress that cut off high on her thighs. Her hair cascading down her shoulders in loose curls.

“I dunno about that” Tim groaned. “I hope when I get a date outside it’s, like, getting pissed together on a beach somewhere.”

“Aaaaand that’s why you’re both single. Well, that and the poetry.” Talia giggled.

_Well, there’s my confirmation. Definitely binned._

“Jake totally gave me a poem earlier, you guys. Can you imagine?” Jake felt his face go red as he looked down into his glass and gave it a swirl.

“You’ve gotta shoot your shot sometime, right boys?” Mason, Tim and Talia laughed as Erikah smiled sweetly.

“Ugh all of you, that’s so romantic. Jake’s definitely got one up on you Tim!” Erikah gave Jake a hug around the neck. “I think that was really sweet.”

“But mate,” Mason called out “can you write a love rap? I’ve heard that’s how Timye gets all the ladies dripping.”

“Oh, I assure you, I’ve got more than one hidden talent that keeps the ladies interested.” Tim dropped his hands to his knees and began to twerk backwards towards Mason, who laughed and teasingly shoved him away.

“You’re all mad.” giggled Dax, “there’s something perfectly dreamy about dinner outside under the stars. And then when you have each other for dessert, it’s the perfect blend of classic and exhilarating, being out in public and all...”

Talia pulled a cherry from the bottom of her cocktail and popped it into her mouth. “Well, when you put it that way, I guess that does sound kind of nice.”

Dax rolled her eyes and reached to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Shame I won’t be going on a date anytime soon, the way my couple is going.”

Tim put his arm around her shoulders “Aw Dax, don’t give up yet. C’mon, what do you think Miles’ ideal date would be?”

“I don’t want to give up, but if I learned anything from the quiz this afternoon, it’s that we’ve got no idea what is going on in each other's heads. It’s like I’m not even in a friendship couple, it’s an anti-couple.”

“That’s a bloody understatement…” bit a voice from the top of the stairs. “Sorry to interrupt all, but I needed to grab Dax for a chat.” Miles arrived at the foot of the stairs and put his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, sure,” Dax replied as she followed Miles toward the firepit. The group stayed painfully silent until the pair was out of sight.

Erikah turned to look over her shoulder. “That’s going to be an interesting conversation. Tim, come eavesdrop with me.” Erikah grabbed Tim’s hand and scurried off toward the daybeds dragging him behind.

Jake finished his whiskey and poured another before walking down to the sun loungers. The edge of the villa felt so different at night. The pool reflected the endless sky and all the chatter of the islanders was replaced with the whips and whistles of the wind. Jake looked over toward the fire pit where Miles, beet red, was waving his hands in forceful questioning shrugs.

Jake took another sip of his drink. He couldn’t remember the first time he’d had whiskey straight, but he knew he’d always liked it’s burn. It was something about the way its instant sharpness made him suddenly aware of his lips. Jake took another peek at the argument, the pair were now sitting, and Miles was agitatedly bouncing one leg. He couldn’t stand how defeated Dax looked. Her delicate shoulders caving forward. Her warm eyes now dull.

_Nothing should make her feel that way, I would never make her feel that way._

Jake turned around as cheers broke out in the kitchen. Making his way back to see what all the fuss was, he saw Miles storm back up the stairs to the Villa as Dax shook her head and walked toward the group. Levi and Jen were back from their date. As Jake approached the kitchen, he saw Erikah pull Dax into a quick hug and look over her shoulders. Levi was grinning ear to ear with his arm around Jen; more holding her up than holding her close.

“Ohmigod did you guys break up?” Jen screeched.

Levi turned to her, “too loud babe, too loud.” Jen covered her mouth in a fit of giggles.

“Dax, what happened?” Jen continued at a more appropriate volume.

“Pretty much yea we broke up.” Dax’s tone was shorter than it usually was.

“Aw babessss…” Jen stepped forward with her arms out toward Dax but awkwardly wiggled on her heel nearly pulling Dax down. “Oops.” she stepped back again this time falling backwards onto Levi.

“Oookay, now." He scooped her up fireman style in his arms. "I’m gonna get this one up to bed. Get some rest Dax, and get ready to smash it tomorrow.” Levi started up the stairs as Jen began running her fingers through his hair and singing incomprehensibly.

“Dax, don’t stress,” Tim handed her a cocktail, “It’s that dating is really just like shagging a guy with a swimmer’s body but a huge beard.”

Erikah tilted her head to the side, “Tim, what the fuck?”

“You’ve gotta take the rough with the smooth.”

“Ok. Ignore him,” Erikah reached out and grabbed Dax’s hand. “Listen, hun, don’t worry about it. We’ve got your back. Tomorrow is a new day. if you get some rest, you can start fresh in the morning and crack on with having the best summer ever.”

“Alright, you lot come here,” Mason lifted his glass, “to having the best summer ever.” Jake joined the toast clinking glasses with everyone in order. The group mosied about, tossing empty glasses in the sink and making their way inside. Eventually, it was only Dax and Jake sitting around the bar. He stood up and threw back his last sip.

“Goodnight then Dax.”

“Wait a minute soldier,” she said, finishing her own glass. “refill these glasses and keep me company for a minute? ”

_Really?_

“Sure, yea, absolutely. Whiskey ok?” She nodded gently biting her bottom lip. Jake grabbed the bottle and refilled their glasses, concentrating hard not to let her see how much his hands were shaking. He started to put the bottle back on the shelf, but Dax interrupted him. “Bring the bottle, I think I’ll probably need a few more.” She reached down and slipped off her heels. With her glass in one hand and shoes in the other, she gestured to the day beds and began walking.

_Fuck, why did you have so much to drink? Focus up mate. Just focus on Dax._

And focus on her he did. It wasn’t a long walk over to the day beds, but walking behind her, Jake felt more and more aroused with each step she took. Even though she’d taken off her shoes, she walked up on the tips of her toes as if she was sneaking off to somewhere private, and the short hem of her dress teased at what was underneath with every sway of her hips.

“I’m sleeping out here tonight since Miles did last night, figured I’d look good on the high road.” Dax collapsed down onto the daybed and airily patted the spot next to her.

_You’d look good on any road, anywhere._

“I’m sorry things with Miles went so badly, he’s a complete idiot for not even giving you a shot.”

“Can I tell you a secret Jake? I feel like you’re good at keeping secrets.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

“I’m not even that upset about Miles.” she rolled onto her side, resting her elbow on a pillow and her head on her palm. “It’s a shit situation obviously, and he’s… well, he’s a fucking dickhead. But we both knew we hadn’t wanted to pick each other.” She threw back her shot. “Give me another?” Jake reached behind him for the bottle and poured out another shot into her glass.

_Is this an opportunity? Is she opening the door for something? Fucking hell._

Jake felt paralyzed. He turned on his side so that they were looking at each other eye to eye. “I don’t mean to assume, but you seem rather gutted for someone not all that upset about Miles?”

“Ok, you know how I owe you one deep story from my life?”

“I vaguely remember.”

“Here it is.” she took a sip from her drink. “My first real relationship was... everything. Every dumb 21-year-old in a serious relationship thinks they’ve found ‘the one’, that’s just first love, right? But really. I thought mine was **the** one. He was older, and romantic, and generous. Ever since then I haven’t had better sex. We could talk for hours about anything, the dumbest shit or the most highbrow nonsense. I swear we once debated for three hours over the proposed budget for the NHS.” Dax tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “He was absolutely everything, including married.” She rolled onto her back and stared up at the sky through the billowing fabric of the sunshade.

“I genuinely didn’t know for a long time. Though, looking back I think I was intentionally ignoring a lot of signs. It’s not wicked to sleep with a married man if you don’t know, but it was wicked once I did know. He told me over and over, and over that, I was who he wanted. That I was who he loved. But he was full of shit, and I believed him. It got so bad he’d come over to my place and keep his ring on while we fucked. As if because I knew she existed, he didn’t have to hide it anymore." Dax rolled her eyes and pursed her lips to one side.

Jake could see her shaking.

"The worst thing is, I wasn't even the one to end it. He was. He fucking dumped me. They were having a baby, and so, he needed to start acting like an adult. He just left my apartment and never spoke to me again.”

Jake felt anger creep along his temples as his jaw tightened. How could someone live those lies so deeply and drag Dax down with him? He sat in silence for a moment at a loss for what to say. Instead, he just reached out and grabbed her hand. Her skin was warm, a sharp contrast to the cold metal rings on her fingers. All Jake could think was how remarkably small her hand felt in his.

“I’m on about Levi.”

Jake felt a stone form in the back of his throat. He took a deep swallow and threw back the last of his drink just to feel the sting. “I figured there was something there. I noticed the way you look at him. And the way you look at Jen.”

“Oh fuck, is it that obvious?”

“No, no, the benefit of being the quiet one in the room is that I’m observant, that’s all.” 

“Oh, good. I don’t want to hurt Jen – I really don’t. It’s just. Levi kissed me on the first day. He told me I’m his type, he asked me to pick him, he keeps making these private moments for us. But that's all it ever is, moments that are just us.”

_Fucking hell, I knew he was interested but how has he been saying all this and acting like he has with Jen?_

“Being here, it’s obviously a much smaller scale. No one is married, no one I guess is even officially dating but – it’s bringing back a lot of those feelings. Like, am I an absolute idiot? Just a complete mug, waiting around while he promises the world to Jen?”

“Dax, I don’t know Levi well yet, and I can’t speak for other people, but like I said I’m observant. And what I can tell is somehow even though it’s early days, you’ve got practically half the villa already looking out for you. Mason, Tim, Erikah, Talia – it’s so obvious how much they care about you.” Dax turned her head toward Jake and smiled faintly. “I hope it’s obvious how much I care about you too. You have to know that you’re the most amazing and absolutely stunning woman here, and we’re not going to let you get mugged around.”

Jake looked into her eyes and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. As he tried to pull away, she laced her fingers between his and bit her bottom lip. Jake's heart began to race. He leaned his body closer to hers, letting his face come close enough to feel the heat of her breath. The smell of vanilla and cinnamon filled his senses and sent a jolt down his spine.

“Jake, do you -"

“Oh Jake, mate, didn’t realize you were still out here.” Dax jerked away from Jake and sat up.

“Levi,” she said, “I thought you’d gone to bed.”

“Nah," Levi gave a laddish head nod back toward the main villa. "I just wanted to get Jen settled. So, Dax, you’re sleeping out here tonight?

_Sure just fucking talk over me like I’m not here._

Jake stood up carefully so as not to lose his balance. “Excuse me you two, I’ve got to get to washing up.”

“No worries mate,” said Levi as he clapped Jake on the shoulder “see ya tomorrow.”


	11. Fantasies

Jake reached up to the base of her crown, twisting his fingers through her thick hair. He tugged gently pulling her head back to expose her neck. His lips found their way to the top of her collar bone, sucking and kissing gently along her hot skin. Her hips pressed down harder and harder into him as quiet moans became loud ones. As their lips found each other’s again, he was hungry for the taste of her. He took her full, supple ass in both hands and flipped her onto her back.

“Mmmmm, so this is how you want me…” she hummed. He tenderly kissed the skin between her breasts.

“Dax, I want you on this bed -" he kissed three times in a line down the centre of her stomach. “I want you on the floor -" he kissed just below her belly button, “I want you in the kitchen -" he kissed each of her hips. “I want you every which way you’ll let me have you.” Jake pressed his thumb down against her as he finally began to taste how wet she was for him.

“Mmmmm fuck, Jake…”

“Jake. Fuck mate. JAKE! Wake up, bruv.” A pillow crashed onto Jake's face. “The girls are all up already, and me and Tim want breakfast, but we don’t want to make it.” Mason tossed another pillow across the room.

“I’ve always said leave breakfast to the professionals,” Tim added chucking another pillow on the pile chuckling heartily.

“Alright, alright, jesus, shove off. I’ll get up.”

_______________________________________________________

Jake wandered into the bathroom and turned the sink on cold. He could practically still feel her nails digging into his back. Jake splashed the water onto his face a few times and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

_Get your head on straight mate, it was just a dream…. fucking hell._

From the kitchen, Jake could see the day in the early stages of its usual pattern. Talia was sunning on the loungers, Erikah was taking selfies on the day bed opposite Dax, and Levi was doing laps in the pool. Jake opened up the fridge and grabbed a few standards – cream, eggs, butter, bread – and started scrapping together a simple breakfast. He filled the kettle and set it on the burner, his thoughts finding their way again to Dax. He knew she was interested in Levi, she said it point-blank. Still, he couldn’t forget the moment before they’d been interrupted. What would’ve happened if Levi had stayed inside? Jake heard a squeal and turned quickly to see what it was. Levi was holding Dax in her daybed while she playfully squirmed. "Oh, you're all wet!" She threw her head back and laughed then coyly pushing him away.

_Nothing you idiot. Nothing would’ve fucking happened. Stop lying to yourself._

Levi rolled off of the bed to standing, still holding Dax’s hand.

_Fucking prick, your partner, who very much thinks you’re happily coupled up, is upstairs in the shower and you’re down here. Grafting. In plain view of everyone else. Dax deserves so much better than you, Jen deserves so much better than you…_

Jake's arms felt heavy, and he flexed and clenched his fingers back and forth a few times at his side. It was at that moment Jake had a realization. As envious as he was now, what if Levi wasn’t full of shit? Jake thought about how being with Talia just days ago. They had kissed, shared a bed, spent time together, and all along he knew, deep down, Talia wasn’t the person he wanted. What if Levi was doing the same thing with Jen. What if Levi was just waiting for the next recoupling to make it official. What the fuck was he going to do if Levi actually chose Dax? How could he sit around the villa and watch them be together? What if in bed at night he could hear them?

The boiling kettle began to scream.

_______________________________________________________

“I just don’t think it's fair,” whined Jen as she lounged across the end of one of the beds. “You lot get to brag about, how, oh, you’ve shagged this many people, or you’ve spent the night with the same gender, or a foursome. You all get to seem like sex gods. Then there I am sitting like a complete mug.” She sat straight up and pointed at Jake. “I’m telling you now. I’m not some basic vanilla bird, I’m really good in bed.” Jen pouted and laid out across the foot of the bed.

“Take a load off, Jen,” Mason said, leaning back against the window across from her, “it was one game.”

“He’s right,” Jake added, sitting at the head of the bed.

“You don’t get to comment, Mr. ‘I prefer leather.’"Jen rolled her eyes. "I’m just saying like, there’s never a right answer for us girls when it comes to sex. If we like it every which way, we’re a slag, and if we only want to shag when we’re committed, then we’re prudes. I want people to know I’m fun, even if I haven’t banged everything with a pulse, like the rest of you.” Jen cast a playfully judgmental look across the room, both eyebrows raised as she shrugged her shoulders.

“We know you’re fun Jen,” Jake tapped her shoulder with his foot. “You’re absolutely vital to the house. It wouldn't be the same here without you.”

“Yea, Levi was telling me yesterday how… fun… he thought you were.” Mason stuck his tongue out and winked at Jen.

“Ohmigoddd what the hell?!"

“I’m bantering Jen, I swear, he wouldn’t tell me about the date. Said a gentleman doesn’t shag and tell.”

“We did NOT shag. Ugh, we had a cheeky little snog outside the gate. I’ll never understand boys and your locker room crap.” Jen rolled her eyes again. " _Shag_ , I hate that word"

“Wait a minute, why are there so many different words for sex?” Mason continued.

“What the hell are you going on about Mason?” came a voice walking down the hall. She was wearing a white bikini with a thong bottom and a ruffled top that shower off her toned shoulders.

_How does she make the colour white feel so fucking sinful…_

“Ugh Dax, I’m so glad you’re here. The testosterone was starting to get overwhelming.” Dax walked over and sat down next to Jake. 

“Mates, I’m serious, think about it. There’s fucking, shagging, screwing – “

Jen interrupted him. “Mase, we have so many words because they mean like, completely different things.” Mason’s face dropped into an exaggerated expression of shock.

“Mean different things? Have I been doing it wrong? Mates." Mason's eyes suddenly got serious, flitting back and forth between the other islanders. "Have I been putting little Mason in the wrong hole?”

Jen’s jaw dropped in disgust as Dax and Jake laughed, her shoulder bumping up against his and sending little electric sparks down his arm.

_Fuck sake, you’ve got it bad, if this is getting you…_

“UGH Mason, not what I meant. It’s like this. Sex is the word for when it’s like the absolute purest. Like on your wedding night, or after a perfect first date. When it’s just like, he’s the one.”

“Yeah,” Jake chimed in, “and shagging is the lazy one on a Sunday morning, or when you’re getting one in quick.”

“Mmmmmm, oh,” Dax curled her toes. “And boning is like when you’re really thirsty, and literally anyone with the right parts will do.”

“OH!” Mason slid off of the window sill, “I get it. So then like, making love is that shit you do on Valentine’s day. All romantic, with a bubble bath and body lotion and stuffed toys.”

Dax giggled, “It sounds kind of kinky when you put it like that…”

“Don’t debase it!” Jen cried, “Making love is a complex act where you express profound love for another person. The sex is only a part of it.” Jen stood up and crossed the room to pick up her sunglasses. “It's about giving yourself over to another person’s desires.”

_Like a dominant-submissive thing?_

“Giving myself over to someone's desires?” Dax pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. “I’ve had plenty of that sex, but I wouldn’t call it making love.”

_Is…is she a sub? No. There’s no way she’s that perfect._

Jen put her glasses on her head and crossed her arms. “Well, what would you call it then?”

Dax gave a suggestive smile, “fun.”

_Fuck me._

“Wait that reminds me of a joke! What’s a seventy-two?” Mason paused. “A sixty-nine with three people watching.” Mason laughed, seemingly thoroughly pleased with his own joke, as the rest of the group groaned.

_Aw Mase, you lad._

“Did you guys get it? Cause like sixty-nine plus three is seventy-two?”

“Oh we got it mate,” Jake said, raising his eyebrows in a sarcastic smile.

Mason sighed, “well, there goes the last of my credibility. I’ll get my coat.”

The group quickly shouted, trying to lift his spirit. “Noooo.” “Oh quit it.” “You are such a lad.”

All of a sudden Dax jumped, “Fuck that startled me. I’ve got a text!”

_______________________________________________________

Everyone was gathered by the pool. “C’mon Dax read it!” “What does it say?”

> **Islanders, it’s time to get arty. In today’s challenge, you’ll have three minutes to create masterpieces… using your partner as a paintbrush! The girls will get the boys loaded with body paint, and the boys will have to transfer that paint to a canvas. The couple who produce the best painting will be the only ones allowed to clean all their paint off before the new islanders arrive this evening. #ArtAndGraft #ButIsItArt #NewIslandersIncoming**

“New Islanders! What?” squealed Jen.

“Oh my god, new people. This is the greatest news ever,” added Talia, who immediately heard her words and turned to Jake mouthing the words ‘ _shit, sorry_ ’. Jake laughed and smiled at her approvingly.

“Sooooo,” Tim put his arms out in front of him, “Just to make sure I’ve got this right. The girls are going to cover the boys in paint, and the boys are going to writhe around using our bodies to paint pictures?”

“Sounds about right,” beamed Jen who was bouncing up and down with excitement. “You’re looking pale Timye, you alright?

“This is a really serious moment in my life. I’ve dreamed about this for a long time.”

“Tim, what the hell are you talking about?” Jake said.

“Suffice it to say, being a human paintbrush has been on my top ten sex fantasies list since I was 18.“

_10\. Sex on a boat, 9. Sex at the restaurant_

Dax’s signature warm curling laughter began to fill the air. “Tim, please, I have to know why,” she gasped.

“Well, it’s like this. So I’m banging this bird right? She’s a painter, she’s into art. “

_8\. Roleplaying teacher and naughty student_

“So I’m like checking out her paintings, which are like, complete toss-“

_7\. Sensory deprivation, 6. Someone watching us while we fuck_

“and all of them have like this spattering effect with the paint. So I’m like, how do you get the paint to look all splattered like that?”

  1. _Watch her with another woman_



“And she’s like ‘I have this special paintbrush.’ I’m trying to act interested so I say ‘what’s special about it?’”

_4\. Hot wax, 3. Silk ropes, 2. Inviting another couple to join us_

“And she’s like, ‘take a look- it’s just over there in my bag.’ And in the bag – “

_1.Dax_

“- was a vibrator.”

Mason ran a hand through his hair, his jaw slack in amazement. “Absolutely extraordinary mate.”

Jake looked over at Dax who was biting he bottom lip and rolling one foot over her toes.

_Oh my god, this is turning her on. She is just… fuck._

“Later that night,” Tim continued,” I became, uh, the human paintbrush if you get my drift, and paint wasn’t the only thing on her canvas by the next morning.” Dax giggled, and Erikah let out a loud groan.

“Oh my god, TMI. TMI!” Jen screamed, an expression of pure embarrassment on her face.

“Wait ew, are you going to be getting off on this??” Erikah mimed a gag and shivers going through her shoulders.

“Don’t debase it, I was sharing something personal with you, my friends,” Tim replied.

“No, it's just so weird to keep a fantasy list like that,” Erikah added, “why are boys like this?”

“I have one,” Dax added, smiling proudly. “It’s not weird to have a list of ways you're curious to explore yourself or your partner? Leave Tim alone.”

Erikah rolled her eyes, “He was the one who was sharing.”

Jen laughed “More like oversharing.”

“Thanks Dax,” Tim shot a genuine smile at her, “but I’m not embarrassed. Let’s get this fucking challenge going.” The group broke into hoots and hollers as the raced to the front lawn. 

Talia grabbed Jake by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Alright now Jake, I need you to focus every poem-writing creative bone in your beautiful body,” her tone clearly mocking sports film pep talks. “We’re gonna win ok? Cause I refuse to meet the new islanders covered in paint.”

“Anything for you, love,” Jake gave an exaggerated wink, “Gotta make sure my girl is nice and clean to meet another bloke.” Jake laughed as Talia shoved him in the shoulder.

“You fucking geezer.” She smiled.

“Allllright Lads and Ladies!” Levi announced “Three…two…one…go!”

Talia reached down and grabbed a bucket of bright blue paint and turned is completely over Jake's head.

“Bloody hell, fuck, this shit is freezing.” Jake continued cursing as he laid down on the canvas. “What the hell am I even supposed to paint?”

“Surprise me!” cheered Talia leaning over to pick up a bucket of darker pink paint.

Jake wriggled around on the canvas, trying to focus, but couldn’t get Tim’s story out of his mind.

_What I wouldn’t give to know what’s on her list…_

Jake stood up to retrieve the second colour from Talia. Over her shoulder he saw Dax make a sprint toward Levi with a hand full of paint.

“Oops,” she said in a sickly sweet and innocent voice. “Looks like Jen missed a spot.” Dax took her hand and rubbed it flat down Levi’s abs and onto his thigh. Jake could see Levi’s face turn bright red, even under all the paint, and Jen turning to them both with confusion in her eyes.

“I’ve already got this covered babes.” A look of guilt crossed Dax’s face.

“Yea, no, sorry," she backpedalled toward Miles. "I was just trying to help.”

The awkwardness of the moment passed as the buzzer sounded ending the competition.

“Right lads,” cheers Levi, let’s see what we’ve got. “First up, Dax and Miles!”

“Right, I’m actually quite pleased with ours” Miles cleared his throat.

“But, what actually is it?” yelled Levi.

“Slow up Lad,” Miles responded, “It’s not anything, it just represents the intensity of sex. Limbs everywhere, tangled bedsheets, the roll and the tumble.”

“Exactly,” added Dax, “The pure spirit of energy and lust.”

There were cheers from the rest of the islanders.

“Oi oi,” Mason shouted, “ours next!” The islanders broke out into swells or roaring laughter at Mason and Allegra’s painting of two huge red circles.

“What the hell?” Mason shouted, “Allegra told me to paint my favourite thing about her.”

“What, so you painted a pair of balls?” Dax snickered.

“No, jeez.” Mason rubbed his hand over his eyes. “It’s her arse. I swear, fuck sake, it's an arse!”

“Yea, no. Those are balls,” laughed Talia.

“No man. It’s not,” pushed Levi, “Ok ours next!” he pointed to their canvas, “it’s a portrait of Jen!”

“Why did you use orange on top of more orange?” asked Jen. Levi shrugged.

“We was trying to do, like, a golden sunset.”

“Levi, I look like a Cheeto.” Jen rolled her eyes.

_Better get this over with._

“We’ll go next!” Jake raised his hand.

“I want to go on the record saying that I take no credit for this, I told him to surprise me.” The group looks over at the painting of a paintbrush with a face, arms, and legs.

_I’ll take full credit for this masterpiece._

Jake cleared his throat and opened his arms – “I call it 'Tim’s Human Paintbrush!'”

“Jake,” Talia cried as the islanders all joined in with giggles and laughter. “That’s hilarious!”

“Piss off, I’m not telling you lot anything again.” Tim pouted.

“Aw Tim, Jake turned your fantasy into a masterpiece!” Dax turned and touched Jake on the arm. “really Jake, this is too funny.”

Erikah stepped forward, “Ok babes, it's getting hot, and I don’t want to sweat more.”

Tim stepped forward, “ok, ours is titled ‘Hot Mess.’”

“Yea,” added Erikah, “It’s meant to express, like, the struggle of true individuality in this age of commodified identity.”

Tim looked at Erikah, clearly puzzled. “I don’t know what she’s on about, I was just trying to get paint everywhere.”

“I mean what other options are there in this life than to just do what you can?” Erikah asked.

Dax gave a two-toned whistle.“Wow, Olympic swimming pool deep.” Jake saw Levi wink towards Dax.

Jen bounced up and down, “ok ok, so who gets to shower?”

Jake felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. “Oh, I’ve got a text.”

> **Islanders, it’s time to decide the winners of today’s challenge. Please vote by text for the couple whose painting you think is best. The winners are the only ones who can wash the paint of their bodies before getting to meet the two new Islanders at tonight’s neon colour party. #OneForTheGirls #OneForTheBoys #LovingLife**

Talia waived Jake over to her. “Ok so, obviously yours was the best, fucking hilarious but I don’t think we can vote for ourselves. I honestly feel a little bit like voting for Mason and Allegra for a fucking laugh, but I also think Miles and Dax deserve to get all nice looking for the new islanders. What do you think?”

“Yea, Miles and Dax for sure.” He typed and sent the message as all the islanders made there way back to the villa.


	12. Surprise

“I’m not going to hide in this kitchen all day,” Talia groaned. “This is all so pointless anyway.” She walked over and pulled out sparkling water from the fridge. “Dax wants nothing to do with Mason. She’s told me multiple times, and I’ve seen her turn him down. I don’t get why we all have to sit through this, or why Allegra is so obsessed”

Erikah leaned over onto the counter, “I mean, yea Dax's mentioned it to me too. She’s not interested. I don’t know how Mason and Allegra haven’t gotten the message.” Tim loudly crushed a handful of crisps into his mouth.

“Even with all the pool water he's made me swallow, Mason is my best mate in this place. And still, if you ask me this is all Mason’s fault.”

Jake looked over his shoulder down toward the fire pit where he could see Allegra shouting and waving her arms towards Mason and Dax. “How do you reckon that it's all him?”

Tim swung a pointed finger back and forth toward everyone in the group. “Raise your hand if you knew within 2 hours of being here that Allegra is aggy and insecure?” Everyone weakly raised a hand. “Raise your hand if you think Mason’s been pretty obviously grafting on Dax, mostly in front of Allegra?” This time hands went up faster. “Lastly, please raise your hand if you think Mason is the kind of lad who really makes his partners feel comfortable and reassured?” No one moved. “I rest my case.”

Jake looked over his shoulder again to see Mason sitting on the bench with his head in his hands. “Regardless of whose fault it is - I feel bad for Dax. Seems like she really didn’t want much part in this, but they keep dragging her into it. Allegra has confronted her like thirty times over a problem that doesn't exist.”

Erikah rolled her eyes “Really? I mean – I get that Allegra is a bit much, but it’s a little hard for me to feel bad that, like, a super fit guy keeps grafting on Dax. Like, there are worse situations to be in.” Dax finally walked away from Allegra and Mason, who continued to squabble at the fire pit.

Jen fiddled with her phone, tipping it back and forth between her hands. “I don’t know – I feel like we should all give Allegra a bit of a break. She came in here wanting to get to know Mason, but pretty much from day dot Mason didn’t exactly keep it a secret he preferred Dax. I think he even went off after her a few times to, like, try and steal private moments.” Jen looked down at her feet. Jake could tell she wasn’t really talking about Allegra any longer. “It’s just tough to keep a cool head in here, you know?” Jen continued. “Everyone is chatting to everyone, and it’s like, no one wants to get mugged off, so we all do our best to be chilled out. But. It’s still early days, and like, it's hard to **stay** chilled out when anything could happen. Allegra is just trying to keep from getting hurt…” Erikah reached out and put her arm around Jen.

“Come on, babes, let’s go layout a bit. I’ve had enough of this Mason and Allegra stuff.” Erikah grabbed Jen’s sunglasses from the counter and handed them to her as the pair walked off toward the pool.

Talia hopped up and followed quickly behind them, “I’ll never say no to laying out – “

Jake set his hand on Tim’s shoulder. “I’m gonna have a lie down before it all kicks off again.” He grabbed his water bottle and jogged up the stairs toward the bedroom. Just before he opened the door, he could hear Levi’s voice inside.

_Fuck make, you’re going to have the most shit karma for listening in on other people’s conversations._

“Look, I think he’s a nice guy, and a good mate and all, but Mason is always trying to please everybody else. He never really takes a side or just goes for what he wants. Like, when you’re really in a couple with someone, you have to be a team. You have to be willing to have that person’s back, no matter. And Mason just isn’t a team player.”

“What and you are?” Dax replied coyly.

“I mean, I literally am, I play professionally on a team. For a living. I understand this stuff. I understand what someone like you needs from a teammate. Do you think you could count on Mason to stand up for you in here? Really Dax, could you?”

“You’re right, I don’t think I could. But I’ve already told you, and him, I’m only interested in Mason as a mate.”

_He’s got her eating out of his fucking hand with those lines._

“Look, I just want to say something, given we have this moment in private.”

_Oops._

Levi’s voice got deeper and gruffer. “I’m not Mason.”

“And?” Dax replied in a sultry groan.

“And, with all the fake shit and forced grafting everyone here puts on the Villa can really mess with your head. So, just know I'm not Mason, I'm don't want to please everyone, I just want to please you. Trust the moments we’ve had.”

Jake stormed back down the stairs away from the bedroom.

_Fucking hell, that fucking git is feeding her such bullshit. It’s all lines. It has to be fucking lines, right?_

He slammed the outside of his fist into the wall at the bottom of the stairs.

“Alright, mate?” Tim said softly from the kitchen bar, “I thought you were taking a load off upstairs.”

_1… 2… 3…_

“Sorry mate, no, I was on my way up and realized I misplaced my phone – looked like hell for it, but uh, it was in my fucking pocket. This place’ll do your head in.”

“I GOT A TEXT!” rang Miles's voice. Islanders scurried from every corner of the Villa down to the pool where Miles was standing.

“Ugh what is it??” dripped Allegra clearly irritated. “Can we wash off this bloody paint yet?” Miles cleared his throat.

> **Islanders – the winners of the painting competition are Dax and Miles. They may now wash their paint off and get ready for the party. Everyone else can change their clothes, but in regards to paint, must stay as they are. The new islanders will be arriving soon. #NewIslanders #BitterSweetWin #ArtandGraft**

_Well, at least I look good in blue._

Allegra's mouth dropped open, “You have to be joking, I have to meet the new islanders like this?!”

Erikah rolled her eyes, “Omigod, this is a nightmare.” Dax blushed a deep crimson.

“At least you’re in nice colours,” Jen whined, “I’m all orange! I don't own a single thing that goes well with orange.”

Levi grabbed Jen’s hand. “Babe relax, we’ll be orange together.”

Jake could see Dax flinch as Jen intertwined her fingers in Levi’s. “I really don’t know what to say other than thank you for the votes all,” Dax tucked her hair behind her ears looking away from the pair. “I’m sorry there had to be winners.”

“I didn’t vote for you,” added Allegra staring daggers straight at Dax.

_______________________________________________________

Tim wandered into the boys dressing room fiddling with his belt. “So the girls think the best place to watch for the new kids is out on the roof terrace – Talia said something about being able to see the cars – and then something about – ugh fucking hell.”

Jake looked up at him. “You alright?”

Tim looked over at Miles, who had just gotten out of the shower and washing his face. “Yea I’m fine just trying to get this belt right. It’s not clasping, but I don’t have another one that’ll match this fucking paint.” He struggled more, trying to get the belt to latch. “You know what, fuck it, I’m chilled, I’m casual, no belt.” He pulled at the buckle, sliding the whole belt off in one fell swoop.

Mason clasped his hand on Tim’s shoulder, “You look absolutely 100 bruv. Casual as hell.” Tim looked into the mirror. He stroked his chin and then smoothed down the sides of his hair.

“Ok boys, let’s fucking go.”

Jake and the other guys made it out onto the roof terrace just as the girls were pouring drinks. “Ohhh, the lads have made it just in time for a toast.” Talia winked and started handing glasses out.

_Holy fucking hell…_

Jake looked at Dax and buckled at the knees. He caught himself landing smoothly square on the bench behind him, his eyes unwavering. Her gold dress brought out every warm tone in her skin and eyes, making it appear as if every inch of her skin was shimmering. The fabric clung skintight to every shapely curve of her lower body. He couldn’t stop marvelling at the sight of her. The top of the dress was completely cut out to reveal her generous cleavage, that is, completely cut out except for the bold golden collar that rested taut around her neck.

_How does anyone in the villa ever look at anything but her?_

Talia clinked her fingernails against the side of her glass. “Ok, ok, everyone quickly, here a minute.” She stood up on the bench and looked down over the group. “I just wanted to take a moment to say something, because, well honestly everything is about to change. I hope for some of us here, this change is for the best. I hope that the new islanders bring banter, fun, and a whole shit ton of cheeky snogging into our lives.”

Erikah raised her glass “Hear! Hear!” The group laughed.

“But!” Talia continued. “I know that I would not have wanted to be on this Island without you all as the other original islanders. So fucking cheers to us. I’ll see you in the damn finals!” Glasses clinked, and Talia’s final words were met with a chorus of roars and cheers.

“Oh shite,” Miles, leaned over the edge of the terrace. “I think… I see someone’s comin'!” The group rushed over to the ledge and crammed up against the ledge, each other, every face trying to get a peak. Jake heard the rumble of an engine cut short as a jeep pulled onto the drive in front of the villa. A fit tan very ten man with darker hair jumped out and waved up to the crowd with both arms. The girls began to squeal and holler.

“Hey everybody! I can’t wait to meet you all” he shouted before sprinting into the villa.

“Oooo,” murmured Jen, “he seems chipper.” Jake laughed.

“Yea look at him, he’s well excited. More than I was wandering in to talk to you ladies for the first time.” Dax turned to Jake and gave a huge pout.

“You weren’t excited?” Jake took a swig from his glass and stepped closer to Dax.

"It took about 3 whiskeys before I stopped shaking enough to talk to you, so I don't know if excited is the word I'd use." He winked at Dax intending to try and steal a moment, but he was interrupted as Mason’s hand flew out to grab the centre of his shirt into a ball and pulled him to the ledge. “Mason what the fu-" Mason’s jaw was slack.

“Fuck me bruvs.”

A second jeep had pulled up behind the first, its noise lost in the commotion of the first arrival. A figure had stepped out of the car and was sashaying toward the villa door.

“Hello there boys,” sang the bombshell, her intense hourglass shape swaying side to side with every step. She flashed her sparkling white teeth and blew a kiss up to the balcony as her piercing blue eyes landed on Levi. All the boys began to shout and wave.

_Wow, she really is, wow._

“Whoa,” sighed Levi as he sat down on the corner bench.

Jen crossed her arms and turned to him “and just what do you mean ‘whoa’?”

Levi’s eyes went wide. “I just mean, like… it’s just... she's”

The group rushed down to the main door to meet the new islanders and then hurried them inside to welcome them with drinks.

“Ohmigod, it’s just so good to finally meet you all!” said the new female islander. “I’m Cherry!”

“Honestly I can’t believe we’re really here” added the second new islander, “Rohan, chuffed for sure to meet everyone!”

Jen piped in “So did you guys met before just now?”

“No,” responded Cherry, “just right now as we’re meeting all of you.”

“Well, have you been watching the show?” Tim asked.

“Oh, 100%, of course,” smiled Rohan, “you lot are proper celebs by now.”

Erikah grinned from ear to ear “Eeeee, so you already know us all?”

Cherry licked her lips and rubbed her hand across her collarbone. “Yeah kind of. As much as you can know someone from watching them on the telly.”

Jake looked over at Dax. Something was off about her manner, about her posture. She started chugging her champagne, and as Jake turned to walk to her, she pushed through the crowd wearing what looked like a fake smile. “So who are your favourites?” she asked begrudgingly.

“Hmmmm…” Cherry scanned her eyes across the group of islanders.

_As if she hasn’t thought about this already…_

“I think I have to say, Levi. And Mason. It’s really a toss-up.” Dax threw back the last bits of her drink and shined her plastic smile back at Cherry.

“Alriiiight,” crooned Mason sliding his hand in his pocket and moving closer to Cherry. Jake caught eyes with Tim who shrugged.

“But my mind could be changed you know,” Cherry continued “you’re all so much… bigger… in person.”

Jake could see the girls struggling to cover their disdain for the new arrival’s overtly erotic suggestion.

_I mean, it’d be hard to say no. It’s not like something is happening with Talia, or with…_

Dax was refilling her glass as Rohan stepped toward the group. “It’s easy for me. It’s gotta be Dax."

_Of fucking course..._

_"_ I’ve absolutely thought that from the start. Though, I know I’m not the only one who has his eye on her.” Jake could see Levi and Mason working hard not to catch Dax’s eyes in front of their partners.

“Oh wow,” she said, rejoining the group. “That’s so nice.” She flashed Rohan a killer smile.

_Ugh, those dimples…_

Tim groaned, “You lot. The level of this banter is just…”

Allegra rolled her eyes and leaned her hands on Rohan’s shoulder. “is just typical boring Dax.” Dax took another large swig of her champagne and wandered toward the edge of the group, ignoring Allegra's slight.

_She does look good on the high road._

“So! Who’s going to refill my drink? Jake?” Cherry looked straight at him.

“Yea, absolutely.” Jake walked up over to the kitchen with Cherry close behind, and most of the islanders in tow. “What can I get you?”

“Vodka soda with lime?” Jake began pulling out bottles.

Tim leaned on the bar and cosied up next to Cherry. “So tell us a little bit about yourself lovely…” The next hour carried on exactly as Jake expected. Islanders coming and going, crowding around Rohan and Cherry, asking questions, making jokes and trying to make an impression. Jake got more and more tired as the night went on. He felt almost immediately that there couldn't be anything between him and Cherry. She was an absolute dream – sweet, gorgeous, funny. But she was also too young. Jake knew Arthur would be disappointed, Cherry certainly seemed like his type of ‘ _fun_ ,’ but Jake just didn’t see that spark. As usual, all he could think of was Dax.

“Hey, Tim,” Jake called out to Tim who was replenishing the group's drinks.

“Alright?”

“No yea, I’m good, just beat. I didn’t want to interrupt the fun so just tell the others I’ve gone to lie down early."

“Absolutely mate – with you upstairs my chances with Cherry are significantly better. Now I’ve just got to shake Mason.” Jake laughed.

“Best wishes to you mate, I hope it works in your favour.” Jake clambered up the stairs to the bedroom and headed to wash up. As he approached the bathroom, he heard the water running. Jake knocked on the frame of the door as he entered.

Dax was standing at the sink, in pyjama bottoms and a bra, using a shower loofah to scrub at her chest. She stopped and pulled a towel over her chest as she turned to look at him. “Sorry, hope I’m not interrupting…” 

_What the fuck is she doing?_

“No, no.” Dax’s seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as her sweet voice filled the echoey room. “Please, come in. I glad it’s you. I don’t think I could’ve explained this to anyone else. I feel like fucking Lady Macbeth.”

“Either you’ve had too much champagne or you’re implying you’ve murdered someone – do I want to know the answer?” Dax laughed a full-dimpled laugh.

_Fuck, how is she so darling and sexy at the same time?_

“Jake, you’re my secret keeper, right?”

“Cross my heart.” Jake swiped his pinky in an ‘x’ over his heart and took a step toward her.

“It’s about Levi.” Dax lowered the towel from her chest.

_Is that orange… paint… no, fuck… no…_

“Everyone was so distracted with Cherry and Rohan, and I genuinely just wanted to chat to him while I knew Jen would be having a nice time and just – ”

_Please don’t say it, Dax fucking, please…_

“One thing led to another, and well – “ she turned, half sitting, and leaned against the bathroom counter. “It was amazing Jake. It was just. It didn’t even feel like it was the first time.” Jake’s ears began to ring and the edges of the room became fuzzier and fuzzier. “And I know it was wrong and he’s still technically with Jen, but he said he would break-up with her proper. When we were getting dressed he almost went and did it straight away.” He couldn’t stop picturing it’s as she talked. Levi’s hands all over her. Levi’s mouth on hers. Her moans of Levi’s name. Levi inside her.

_I have to get out of here._


	13. Seeking a Friend

Jake woke up before the sun feeling as though he’d hardly slept at all. He had gotten some sleep, but truthfully spent most of the night lying in bed, counting his breaths, and staring at the ceiling while trying to push thoughts of her out of his mind. Before bed he’d done the best he could to be supportive of Dax and prevent letting on how he really felt. From what he could remember he'd said something along the lines of ‘I’m glad you’re happy’ and ‘I hope, for you, that Levi follows through,’ but after that? Had he made some joke to the group about snoring? Had he wished Talia goodnight? Honestly, it was all grey.

He’d never been the first islander awake before and it felt rather surreal. He tiptoed his way to the kitchen, made some coffee, and made his way down to the gym with his cup. All the while, graphic images of Dax and Levi played over and over in his head. He dropped down onto the weight bench and pressed his hand onto his eyes. What did any of this mean knowing Dax was with someone else? Could there really be any chance of someone else coming in that he could want as much as her? He sipped his coffee while it was still scalding, feeling its heat stinging and burning as it moved down his throat.

_What the fuck am I doing here?_

He began doing a circuit that he usually reserved for when he really wanted to push himself. It felt purposeless, but it was the only thing he could do to counteract how profoundly weak the whole situation made him feel.

“I’ve never seen you out of bed before Miles or Leggy, let alone before every single other person here," came a voice from behind him. "What’s going on Jake?

Jake looked up into the mirror. Talia was behind him, sitting cross-legged on the end of the weight bench, holding a steaming mug.

“Thanks for the coffee, by the way.”

Jake continued lifting, unsure of where to begin, or if he wanted to speak. Talia stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder, making eye contact in the mirror. “Look, Jake, I know that we’re not a match, relationship-wise. But being here with you as my partner this first week. It’s the only way I would’ve wanted to start this whole thing. We’re going to be friends Jake. You’re a proper sort and I’m not letting you out of my life all that easy. So please, like I’ve been begging all along- trust me. What’re you fuming over?”

“Look Talia, I think you’re a gem, and I really appreciate what you’re doing here.

_Idiot. Just tell her._

“but it’s just – “

She cut him off.   
  
“No. I’m not walking away Jake. You might be older and wiser here, but I’ve seen the look in your eyes on people I love, and it pushed them to bad shit. I’m not going to make any assumptions about you or your past, but I’m insisting you talk to me before you do something stupid.” Jake set the weights he was holding down and turned to Talia.

“Let me get another coffee.”

The pair quietly made their way to the roof terrace as the sun and the other islanders began to rise. Jake told her everything. Everything beautiful he’d thought about Dax. Everything violent he’d thought about Levi. Every moment he wished he could take back or change.

“And I just feel fucking trapped. Like I’m in this place, trying to take it all day by day, but then every moment that goes by the only person I want is getting further and further from me. And, the more she slips away because of my own fucking inability to just, fucking take a chance, the more I feel myself just, disappear... slip away.”

Talia listened intently and took a sip of her coffee. Her bright eyes softened.   
  
“Slip away to where?”

“To a person I used to be, a person I worked very hard to destroy.”

“So I was right before.” she set her hand on his knee. “How long?”

“9 years. I’ve been clean 9 years.”

“Jake if this place is making you feel like you need to use-”

He cut her off. 

“It’s not. It’s absolutely not. I don’t ever miss the high when I remember what it cost. But sometimes, I miss parts of who I was. Like, I was an absolute twat. I was a dumb kid, working back of house for shitty restaurants in even shittier neighbourhoods, but I could’ve gotten her. That guy, he was up for it. That guy was cheeky and smooth, and assured. That guy – I fucking hate him. But he wouldn’t have sat around watching her fall for someone else.”

“Well I’m happy to know you’re still feeling good about sobriety. I loved the part of my life that led me to music, but I lost people too, and the look in your eyes this morning fucking scared me sick.”

“I’m sorry for whoever you’ve lost.”

“Me too.”

They sat a moment in silence, gazing out across the Spanish hills and taking in what was now full morning.

“So what are you going to do about Dax?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what are you going to do. Sure, right, she fucked Levi, but as far as I know he hasn’t dumped Jen. And from the conversations I’ve had with him, I honestly don’t know if he’s man enough to do it.”

“So? She clearly wants to be coupled up with him.”

“Jake are you fucking blind? Of course, you are. You didn’t think I wanted in your trousers even after I coupled with you.” Jake laughed. “I’m going to tell you something, not to hurt you but to make a point.” Talia scooted closer to him on the bench. “The first day one of the questions in the game was who’s been with someone the same gender, right? I stood up?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Shut up and listen. It wasn’t like a one-time thing, I’m bi Jake. And honestly, I get it. Dax is a fucking goddess.”

“Just what I need, more competition.” He playfully shoved Talia on the shoulder.

“But that’s the thing. I’m not your competition, I made a move on her. I made multiple moves on her and she made it clear she’s not interested. But she’s told us girls multiple times that she totally curious about you AND thinks you’re lush.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Jake, seriously. She thinks you’re well fit.” Jake's stomach began to untie the knots it had been in all night. “It doesn’t matter that she called you ‘mate,’ what one time? She liked your poem, which is already leaps and bounds ahead of our relationship.” They both laughed. “I know today is going to be hard, and I can’t promise you that any of this will work out. But there will **always** be reasons not to do things. A reason not to go talk to her, or graft on her, or tell her how you feel. So it’s **your** job to find reasons to be fucking brave mate. If you really want her, then that part is on you.”

_______________________________________________________

Jake sat on a day bed, mulling over his conversation with Talia and watching as Tim try to wrestle with Mason while hiding last night’s hangover.

“Guys!” Jen’s voice rang out from the couches, “I got a text!”

“Text! We got a text” Rohan shouted bounding down toward Jen from the kitchens clearly excited at his first opportunity to feel like a real islander. Jake stood up and made his way over.

“Ah! So excited!” squealed Talia.

“C’mon read it!” added Levi.

> **Islanders, get ready for a game of Spin the Bottle with a twist! Tonight there will be a girls choice recoupling. The girl who wins the challenge will be given first pick! #youspinmerightround #bottleit #breathmintsattheready**

_Maybe today really is looking up._

“Oh. My. God.” Allegra’s words dripped out of her mouth almost as slowly as she rolled her eyes. The islanders began to cheer and scream as they made their way to the front of the villa. On the front deck, an enormous champagne bottle was mounted on a spinner. Jake found himself next to Cherry as the islanders formed a ring. “Ok, come on everybody! Get ready! Woo!” Jen squealed with delight as she announced, “Ok, the text says Levi, you’re up first!” Levi stepped up to the novelty cork swinging his arms in circles and stretching exaggeratedly. He gave the bottle a swift push and after a moment it lazily stopped, pointing at Dax.

_Of fucking course._

Dax turned a deep shade of crimson as an “oooooo” rushed over her fellow islanders.

“Oh my god” Jen whined, “it was just an accident guys. Levi was obviously aiming for me.”

“Relax Jen,” Talia called, “It's just a game.” Jen looked defeated for a moment and then quickly broke into a huge smile.

“Ugh you guys, I’m only joking there’s like no way I’m **that** extra.”

_She was definitely not joking. Poor thing. I bet Levi hasn’t told her a fucking thing._

Jake could see that Levi had one sultry eyebrow raised as he walked over to Dax. He clenched and flexed his fist a few times knowing what was coming.

1… 2… 3…

Levi put one arm around Dax’s waist and another behind her neck. Dax giggled as Levi leaned into her giving her a proper snog in front of everyone.

_This asshole has no fucking shame._

Dax looked surprised as the other islanders, minus Jen, cooed and giggled. But with the moment shrouded in cheers and chaos, only Jake was watching closely enough to see Levi bury his fingers in her hair and whisper something in Dax’s ear as he pulled away.

_What is he saying?_

Tim wolf-whistled and started jumping up and down. “Ohhh I ship it!”

Erikah reached over and smacked Tim on his side, she tilted her head across the circle toward Jen who was looking away. “Shut up, Tim,” Erikah scolded.

Cherry spun Mason - who looked thrilled while Allegra looked mad. Then Allegra spun Tim, and somehow, looked even more appalled. Jake felt a buzz in his pocket, he reached in, pulled out his phone, and read the message.

“Looks like I’m up next.” Jake adjusted his swim trunks and walked up to the bottle. “Here goes nothing.” He pushed at the very top of the bottle and watched it begin to spin…

_Please land on Dax. Please land on Dax. Please land on Dax._

The bottle came to a slow steady stop in front of Rohan.

_Seriously, not even a woman? At least Rohan is a good-looking dude._

Rohan smiled, “Ha, alright mate, bring it. Show me what you’ve got.”

“Oh,” Jake joked, “are you really ready for all I’ve got?” Jake reached for Rohan, grasping him behind the neck and diving in. His lips were surprisingly soft, though it was hard to tell if it counted as an actual snog through all the laughter. Rohan placed his hands on Jake’s chest pushing him away.

“Oh please, Jake, I don’t know if I can take anymore.” He pretended to fan himself with his hand and then stuck out his other to Jake. “Fair shot mate, way to play along.”

Jake shook Rohan’s hand.  
“I guess I have to take you to dinner now.” The islanders all laughed, and the game carried on. Jen spun Levi and kissed him for a long time, clearly marking her territory. Then Tim spun Jen, which gave everyone another laugh.

“Oy!” Tim yelled, “I’m a great kisser. I’ll have you know!”

Tim, Mason and Levi all spun Cherry, and all looked flushed after the fact. Jake took a step back and leaned on the railing of the challenge deck. He tried to gauge Dax’s reaction to Levi kissing Cherry. As he sat back, he could see Levi exhale forcefully and raise his eyebrows while making eye contact with Tim. Dax looked hurt.

_How do they let Levi off with shit like this? Full-on snogging Dax in front of Jen, and now making a scene about Cherry? God, he’s a fucking twat._

“Oh it’s me,” Dax called out stepping up to spin the bottle. Jake held his breath as the point passed him once, and then twice and then started slowing down just before reaching him a third time. His heart stopped when for a moment it seemed like he might get the chance he’d been hoping for. Instead, the bottle stopped just short of Jake, on the person next to him.

“Wow,” Dax sighed, “Cherry again.”

“Oh!” Cherry giggled. “Lucky me!”

Allegra moaned “Fuck sake, this thing is rigged.”

Dax walked straight to Cherry - first kissing her cheek and then moving to her mouth. Cherry’s kiss looked impressive but also oddly calculated to look good for the camera. Dax pulled away looking slightly uncomfortable.

_Shit, that was nowhere near as fun as it should’ve been to watch…fuck this game, fuck today._


	14. Impossible

“Mate, jeez,” Rohan laughed breathlessly, “for someone who’s clearly strong you’re fucking terrible at this.” Jake laughed to himself as well. This was good. Learning to walk on his hands had always been on his bucket list, and Rohan seemed a potentially good mate. The bedroom was an absolute mess. Rohan had insisted they pull some of the mattresses off of the beds to use as crash mats, and that they line the hall with pillows. This meant the entire centre hall of the room was made impassable by vast piles of neon.

“Ugh, I don’t know how much more I can do this,” Jake groaned. “I worked out a shit ton this morning, so my arms are absolutely dead.” Jake fell backwards onto one of the mattresses and drew his arm up over his eyes to avoid the bright lights.

“Sure, they are mate,” Rohan spiked a pillow at Jake. “Sure, they are.” He grabbed another pillow and started tossing it up and down. “Up and at em mate- you were really close this last time. Just make sure when you kick up your legs you’re not like, throwing them over your body.” He dropped the pillow onto the floor. “You have to try and pull them straight up, point your toes to the ceiling.” Jake curled up to sitting, resting his arms straight out over his knees.

“How long did it take you to learn?” Jake asked.

“Not important,” Rohan pointed to Jake. “This is about you mate, everyone is on their own journey.” Rohan extended his hand to Jake, who took it and hopped up.

“You’re a curious lad Rohan.” Jake stepped into position.

_Ok mate, you got this, step, hands down, legs up._

Jake put out his hands and tipped his body forward, throwing all his weight down into the ground right in front of the mattress moat. As he tipped, he threw his legs up, using all the strength in his back to try and aim them toward the sky.

_Fuck, woahhh…_

Jake’s legs fell forward over him toward where Rohan stood on the mattress.

“Ahhh, fuck mate,” Rohan shouted. Jake’s legs came crashing down right on Rohan, causing both of them to crumple into a heap on a pile of cushions laughing and gasping for air. “You didn’t count down, you tosser. I didn’t move out of the way.”

“What on earth is going on here?” Dax had appeared at the door, open-mouthed and wide-eyed at the sight of Jake and Rohan’s tangled bodies. “Do you two need some privacy?” She walked over to the edge of the pile as Rohan and Jake untangled themselves from each other and the pillows.

“No,” Rohan smiled, “please join us.”

“Are you sure this isn’t something just for the two of you?” Dax blushed at the implication.

Jake smiled, taking a moment to enjoy the low cut of her bathing suit top. “Oh, quit. Rohan has been trying to teach me to walk on my hands. We got chatting this morning and just, with everyone else being gits and only wanting to talk about the recoupling I asked him to teach me to pass some time.” Rohan shoved Jake in the arm.

“Psh, and you said it looked easy, which it certainly is not. I had to prove him wrong Dax.”

“He did," Jake added. "It’s definitely not easy.” Dax pursed her lips in a determined smile, and Jake could see her eyes darting back and forth between the mattresses.

_She still thinks it’d be easy._

“I bet I could do it.” Dax looked Jake straight in the eye. “Will you show me?”

“Ahhh the student becomes the sensei… you’re just never ready to see them all grown up.” Rohan wiped a fake tear from below his eye. “Go on then show her. You can’t do it - but I think you’ve got sense of the technique enough to explain it."

Jake felt his hands begin to shake. “Yeah, ok, why not?” Jake picked himself up and walked over to the edge of the mattress. “Um, ok so basically you’re going to lean forward keeping your arms straight and then kick up your legs into a handstand. My major problem is letting my legs fall forward, so try to sort of kick them up and not over.”

“Yea,” Rohan added. “And just make sure once your legs are up that you don’t tuck your head under, or you’ll probably start to fall.”

“If you want, you can sort of kick your legs up, and I’ll help you balance so you can get the sense for what moving your hands from underneath you will feel like.” Jake smiled. “Are you ready?”

"I'm ready!"Dax tipped forward, kicked upwards, and Jake grabbed her legs.

_Hell, I knew she was fit, but her calves are made of stone._

“Ok,” he said, “now start moving your hands forward, I’ve got you.”

Dax moved one hand forward successfully, but as she inched the second forward, her arms wobbled.

“Come on, you’ve got it!” Rohan called from where he sat.

“Ahh, no, I don’t!” Dax’s arms gave out below her as she collapsed on top of Jake, knocking them both onto the mattress. It could only have been a moment, but for Jake, it seemed to happen in slow motion. As her body collapsed down on top of him, waves of sensation overwhelmed his senses. Her skin rubbed along his, sending chills up his arms. Her hips pressed into his chest, knocking his breath out of his lungs. The ringing of her joyous laughter filled his ears, seeming to stop time itself. Just for an instant as they both readjusted to gravity, she laid on top of him, her body wriggling with laughter against him, her supple ass the only thing he could see. His body reacted nearly instantly.

_Oh, shit… god, what she fucking does to me…_

Jake quickly flipped Dax off of him and onto the mattress. He adjusted his shorts to hide his excitement and sat up on the edge of one of the empty mattress frames.

“Sorry Dax.” Rohan chuckled, “I think that was my fault for letting Jake take the lead.”

“Believe me, there’s no need to be sorry. There are worse positions to be in than tangled up with a fit guy while another one watches.” She turned and winked at Jake. “That’s a good afternoon in my book, 100%.” Rohan blushed and paused, seemingly unsure of what to say.

“Well. Ha. Yea. It seemed like everyone else just wants to talk about the recoupling at the moment and here I am thinking, I only just got in here.” Rohan ran his hand through his hair, looking slightly exasperated and slightly anxious. “So I’m just trying to have a laugh and get to know the lads you know?”

Dax slid her legs criss-cross underneath her on the mattress. “Well, it seems like you’re getting to know the lads but what do you think of the girls?”

“Rohan has a crush on Erikah…” Jake teased using a finger to draw the outline of a heart in the air.

Rohan punched Jake in the arm, smiling. “Jeez mate – you just threw it right out there.” He turned to Dax. “No, but she’s into me, right?”

Dax smiled ear to ear, “Majorly.”

“That what I was hoping to hear. I mean I’m not like set on anything yet, but I think I like her too.” Rohan nudged Jake with his elbow. “What’d you reckon mate? I know you and Talia are just friends. Where are your sights set?

_Oh, I’m just desperately and secretly falling for Dax even though she’s clearly interested in someone else which sets me up for absolute heartbreak and looking like a mug on national TV._

Jake shrugged and rubbed his hand down his face, “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing mate.”

Dax giggled. “Don’t be down on yourself, Jake. It just takes you a bit longer than other people to feel that spark. You’re just getting to know everyone, and that’s ok. I love that there’s always more to learn about you.” There was a sudden warmth in Jake’s chest where his heart ought to be. “Is there anyone you like?”

“I guess I could chat to Cherry a bit, but I don’t really think I’m her type, or that she’s mine.”

_Be fucking brave._

_“_ Actually Dax _,_ I think you and I get on really well, to be honest.” Something in Dax’s expression changed. She was quiet for a moment and then looked at Jake as if she’d seen him clearly for the first time. She hopped up from her seat and started walking toward the door, but not before tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking back at Jake.

“Maybe you and I should get to know each other better then.”

____________________________________________

The villa had been thrown into chaos after a text announced that Cherry had won the kissing contest and a recoupling would take place in an hour. Just like before, Jake was the first one ready, but this recoupling felt different. The first time they’d all been through this he’d been sure he was going home, but with no one being dumped from the island, he had no clue where he would end up tonight.

“Maaaateees – “Mason's voice curled through the boys dressing room. “Tonight is going to be mad. I can just feel It in my fucking bones.” Most of the boys sat in what could loosely be considered a circle on the couch and interspersed between vanity desks. It had been nearly an hour of lounging around the room as they waited for the text that said the girls were ready to meet at the fire pit. Jake was sitting next to Tim who had his arm tucked up on the back of the couch and was, from a distance, checking his own reflection in a mirror. Tim got up and stepped closer to the mirror. He picked something from between his front teeth and flicked it toward Mason.

“You’re just buzzing because you think Cherry will pick you and shag you tonight.”

“What did I just say mate,” Mason stretched his arms out and then rested them behind his head. “I can feel it in my _bones_.” The room let out a collective groan as Mason gave a few thrusts of his hips.

“Fucking hell,” Levi said digging through one of the closets across the room. “Not all of us are so lucky Mase. Care to save the bragging for after something actually happens?” Levi was shirtless and shoving hangers angrily across the bar in the closet.

_What’s bit him in the ass, isn’t he basically in the same fucking situation? He's got a sure thing with Dax._

Mason scratched the back of his head, “what the fuck’s got into you bruv?” Levi shot him a knowing glance.

“Nothing mate. Just can’t find the shirt I wanted.” Tim’s phone beeped.

“Button up quick princess, we’re being summoned.”

____________________________________________

> **Islanders, it’s recoupling time. As new arrival Cherry was voted best kisser, she will choose first. She will be followed by Allegra, Jen, Talia, Dax and finally Erikah. #dontbenervous**

Erikah rolled her eyes, “Oh typical, I go last.”

Jake wasn’t concerned with the majority of this recoupling. A lot of it was up in the air as most of the couples had quickly become friends and not lovers. But none of it mattered - he knew the choice of the only person that mattered. As Cherry stepped up to announce her choice, Jake, as always, watched Dax.

“Ok, I want to couple up with this boy because I think he’s the most attractive person I’ve ever seen – “

Dax was a vision in white, standing between Erikah and Jen, in a dress made entirely of lace. As Cherry droned on, Jake took the time to discover each and every shadow on Dax’s body that indicated a place where the translucent dress was revealing her tempting skin.

“None of us have been here very long and so I’m not afraid to shake things up – “

_She’s gonna pick Mason._

“The boy I want to couple up with is Mason.” Mason walked over to Cherry and kissed her on the cheek. Jake looked over at Allegra who’d begun cackling with laughter.

“I absolutely cannot fucking believe it.” Allegra wailed. “All the effort I put on Dax, and it’s Cherry who’s the backstabbing monster.” It was in this moment it dawned on Jake that Cherry choosing Mason left Allegra without a partner.

_If that bat chooses me I’ll leave. Jeez._

“Shhh Allegra,” Cherry’s voiced dripped from her lips like thick honey, “The adults are talking.” An audible gasp moved across the firepit.

“You shut your mouth, slag.” Allegra took a step toward Cherry, raised her middle finger at her, and continued forward to choose a boy.

“Well I want to couple up with this boy because the new girl just royally screwed me over.” Her eyes cut angrily back to Mason and Cherry, who were now sitting on the bench behind the fire pit, practically in each other's laps.

_Not me. Not me. Not me. Not me._

Allegra looked across the line of available boys. She made eye contact with Jake and then sighed and shook her head. “I guess I want to choose this boy because,” a cynical smile spread across her face. “We’ve both had similar experiences in the villa, and also I think he’s smarter than everybody else here. I want to be in a power couple, and I think he’s the man to do it with. The boy I choose is Miles.” Miles looked surprised but genuinely pleased as he walked over to Allegra and kissed her passionately for longer than anyone was comfortable watching.

_I wish them many happy returns, far away from me._

Jen stepped out in front of the line and Jake couldn’t help but notice she looked awfully chipper. Jake cut his eye to Levi, who was standing and smiling; his eyes locked in with Jen’s.

“Well, I want to couple up with this boy because since we’ve been here, I’ve been feeling the most intense connection that I’ve ever felt to anyone.”

_Wait, what the fuck? Is she talking about Levi?_

Jake looked over at Dax whose face had dropped into an expressionless stare. He could see from where he stood that she was staring directly at Levi, who wouldn’t return her gaze. Jen continued.

“The boy I want to couple up with is Levi. Obviously.”

Jake could see Dax’s chest rising and falling rapidly as she began to bite at the side of her lip. Levi waltzed over to Jen who threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

_The fucking prick. He completely fucking used her._

Jake looked back at Dax and noticed her eyes beginning to well. Talia stood up and began her speech.

“I want to couple up with this person because in the last couple of days, I’ve been looking at them differently – “

_How the fuck could he do that? How the FUCK could he do that? He told her he was dumping Jen, he told her she meant something. I swear to fuck I’m going to…_

Nothing. Jake knew there was nothing he could do. Dax wasn’t his, on top of which, getting in a fight on national television was exactly the opposite kind of press he wanted for Sweet Orchard. He looked at her again across the fire and felt weak in the knees. She stood completely still and completely silent, tears building up in her eyes as every moment passed. Everything that normally drew him to her looked broken. Levi had broken her, he lied to her, and he chose someone else – exactly as she’d been afraid of. Every muscle in his body ached to run to her and envelope her in his arms. Every drop of air in his lungs wanted to burst out, shouting, to promise to love her, to promise to grow with her, to take away her hurt and promise her the world.

_You’re not her saviour Jake –_

“I want to couple up with Tim.” The group cheered as Tim walked toward Talia, a giant grin on his face, and gave her a quick hug. Jake couldn’t bother to cheer or clap, all the energy he had was being directed to keeping his feet in place and his fist away from Levi. Dax stepped out of line and began to speak.

“Um, well, one of you told me this week that, the villa could really mess with your head. Honestly, I think that might be even more true than I realized at the time. Figuring out what you want in here can be so hard, but, looking at both of the amazing guys in front of me – I actually feel like the universe is giving me what I need.” For the first time, since nearly the beginning of the recoupling, Jake looked at who was around him.

_Holy shit, it’s just me a Rohan. Everyone else is in a couple…_

“I want to couple up with this boy because he’s intriguing and thoughtful, and fit as hell. People have been giving him a bad rap for being too quiet but I think he really provides this crazy-ass villa with a steady sense of calm. I’m so happy to continue to get to know him.”

_Is she going to pick…. no.. there’s no way…_

“The boy I want to couple up with is … Jake.”

_Holy shit._


	15. To Feel Wanted

The islanders began to clap and cheer. It took every ounce of Jake’s focus for him to will his legs to take their first steps toward Dax. He felt as if electricity was surging along the surface of his skin as chill bumps began to form along his arms and legs. The voices of the other islanders started to fade away as Jake finally locked eyes with Dax. His elation came to a screeching halt as he saw the unrelenting pain in her eyes. Dax was cooler under pressure than he’d given her credit for. Still, he could see that even if her speech had been entirely genuine, any excitement she had about coupling with him, paled in comparison to the hurt she clearly felt from Levi choosing to stay with Jen. Jake walked to her and pulled her into a tight hug. “We’re going to get you through this,” he whispered, leaning his cheek down to the top of her forehead. Jake straightened up and put his arm around Dax’s shoulder, leading her to their seats on the firepit bench.

_She’s hurting mate, don’t make any of this about you._

Erikah stepped out in front of the fire grinning from ear to ear. She turned to Dax and blew her a kiss before turning to face Rohan.

“I want to couple up with this boy because he’s, like the most beautiful boy I can imagine. I was worried I wouldn’t get to choose him, so I’m really lucky.” She paused, clearly savouring the moment. “I spent all day worrying that I wouldn’t get to say this. I’m literally trying not to cry right now.”

“Just fucking pick Rohan,” Dax whispered under her breath. Jake pulled her closer and grabbed her hand with his.

“This will be over soon.”

“The boy I want to couple up with is Rohan.” The islanders cheered as Rohan walked over to Erikah and dropped her into an over-the-top stage kiss.

“Wow,” Jen smiled, “thank god this is all over with. I get so nervous at these bits I just feel totally useless.” Levi’s arm was around Jen’s shoulder, and she cuddled up into his side. “At least choosing Levi makes it all easier.” Levi kissed the top of Jen’s head and then kissed her sweetly on the mouth.

“I can’t…” Dax whispered as she got up and walked to toward the kitchen. Jake stood up and followed her. Erikah turned to the group.

“What’s gotten into her?”

_Fuck how does someone so small walk so fast..._

“Dax,” he called out, “Dax!” he reached out and caught her hand. She turned her head and shot fire toward him with her eyes, which were now streaming with silent tears. “Look, everyone is about to be in this kitchen chatting each other up and going on about the details of the recoupling that we were all just at. I don’t want to hear that, and I know you don’t either. Go change into something comfortable, I will grab an entire bottle of liquor, and I’ll meet you down by the pool, ok?” She nodded soundlessly, then continued her brisk pace toward the bedroom. Jake rubbed his hand down his face and then walked over to the kitchen. Talia was the first of the remaining islanders to leave the firepit. She walked up to the island and leaned her hands onto the counter.

“Hey, is she ok?”

“I don’t think so. I hadn’t gotten to speak to her much today but, I don’t think she had any idea she wasn’t going to get to pick Levi. And honestly, the way he was with Jen right after, was just…I mean, right in front of her?”

“Yea, bang out of order. I honestly can’t tell which one of them he’s playing.”

Jake was grappling through the cupboard under the kitchen island. “Have you seen the whiskey, or the vodka, or literally anything?” Talia walked around the island and into the pantry.

“It’s all up here.” She handed Jake a bottle of whiskey. “Cherry was in here earlier doing some sort of rearranging, she said something about bad energy and the direction the knives were facing, I don’t bloody know.”

“Thanks, Talia.”

“Look, Jake, this doesn’t have to be 100% about her, ok?”

“I know you’re looking out for me, and Levi is a verifiable twat, but I’m not using this as an opportunity to swoop in on someone who’s hurting.”

“No, no – no swooping. I just mean you can support her and want the best for her without hiding how you feel. Like, listen to her, but don’t feel like you have to pretend to be in a place where you’re like Levi’s number one fan, and everything is just going to be fine." Talia paused. "Don't you think she deserves your honesty just as much as your compassion?” Jake pulled Talia into a hug and Dax appeared at the bottom of the stairs just as Jake pulled away.

“Hey, you wanna go for a chat?”

“Absolutely,” Jake held up the bottle he was holding. “Whiskey ok?”

“More than.” Dax reached up to an open cabinet and grabbed two glasses before turning away towards the pool. The endless night above them was clear and star-filled as they walked down toward the edge of the villa, leaving the brightness of the kitchen and firepit behind them. The sky out in front of them was stained a dark blue fading into black as it approached the horizon line. Dax walked a few steps ahead of Jake at a steady pace, staring straight ahead. She’d changed into a tight-fitting two-piece pyjama set with a grey sweater over top that hung carelessly off her shoulder on one side. Dax sat down cross-legged at the edge of the pool and turned to Jake lifting one of the empty glasses back at him.

“Fill me up soldier,” she said, wiping a tear from her cheek with the too-long sleeve of her sweater. Jake sat down next to her and unplugged the cork from the bottle. “On second thought – ‘ Dax grabbed the bottle, brought it to her mouth, and took a long swig. “Ok, now fill me up.”

Jake filled both glasses and looked over at Dax. She had crossed the ends of her sweater tightly around her waist and was sipping slowly from her glass.

“Can I say something?” Jaked asked.

“Go for it.”

“I know a lot is going on, and I want you to feel like you can talk about that stuff too. But, I also want to say I’m really glad you picked me. I didn’t exactly think you noticed me in that way at all, I guess technically, I’m still not sure if you do. But either way - I’m really glad to get to spend more time with you.”

“Why?”

“Why am I happy to get to be around you?”

“Yes, why? I’m a fucking mess. I’m a girl sat around getting drunk and pining for some other guy when we should be cracking on and cuddling in bed.”

“Because Dax, you know we’re past that. I know we’re past that. – We skipped over the little stuff. We skipped the 'what’s your favourite colour' 'where’s your favourite holiday spot' bullshit and stumbled into real trust between us.” Jake could feel his heart beating out of his chest, but something about this moment, something about how small and shattered she looked, made him know he had to be bold. He knew she needed to hear every compliment he’d been dying to give her since day dot. He reached out and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I fancy you Dax, but more than that, I like you. The air between us always feels so safe. So, despite everything else, I feel well-off that you picked me. You’re the only girl in the Villa that seems to get me, you know? And whatever happens, I want to be able to give that safe space back to you. ”

“Wanna know something absolutely fucked?” Dax asked. Jake threw back his drink and poured another.

“Hit me with it.”

“I feel the same way Jake, I like you so much, I trust you without having a single reason to, and I swear we have that spark, that ease you know? But for some fucking reason, none of that seems to matter. I can’t get him out of my head.” She sniffled as fresh tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes. Dax threw back her drink and held out her glass for Jake to pour more. “It’s everything all over. I thought he wanted me, I thought I could be enough, I thought I was worth it. But I’m not. Levi fucked me, he took a moment I thought was intimate, that I thought was the start of something and just – in front of everyone… Fuck.” She ran her hand through her hair and then shook her head with her hands over her eyes. “He couldn’t even muster the fucking balls to have **one** difficult conversation. And I don’t even mean with Jen. He could’ve at least come to me. He could’ve told me he hadn’t found the right time, or even that he didn’t feel as sure about us - but he didn’t. To him, I’m worth exactly one shag, and not a single scrap of decency more.” Dax threw back her drink and poured another.

“And you wanna know what’s even more fucked?” Dax let out a short angry laugh. “I still want him to fucking want me. I’ve lost the fucking plot here, right? Like, how absolutely fucked is that? That this one boy, this one stupid boy, has the power to make me want him, and then when he doesn’t want me back, I feel like it’s my own fault?”

Jake shifted uncomfortably where he sat. He knew she would be upset, but this was too much. How could she think she deserved to be treated this way? How the fuck could she believe that any of it was her fault? This goddess who'd come down to earth. “Dax, nothing is your fault, Levi is at fault here – I don’t want to assume he’s lying to you,” Jake reached out and placed his hand gently on her cheek. “so assuming he cares about you, this entire situation is Levi’s fault for not owning up to what he actually wants?”

_It’s easier said than done…_

Dax threw back her drink, poured another, and Jake followed her lead to try and keep up.

“I know that, Jake. I do. But it’s like it’s my head that knows that, and the rest of me just doesn’t. This is bringing back everything from before – everything. Every time I have to see him kiss her or hold her, every time she fucking squeals about how perfect they are together, I just get this sense of like. What about me? What am I doing wrong? What does she have that I don’t? Why every time he’s with me, is he telling me how special I am - when at the end of the day he never picks me.”

Jake could feel his blood pumping through every vein in his body, he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t watch her cry. He couldn’t watch the way this sadness warped her features and took the light from her eyes. He couldn’t sit here and let her call herself worthless. Jake began to speak, to try and comfort her, but his words escaped his mouth before he could even consider what to say.

“There is nothing, absolutely nothing Jen has that you don’t. There is nothing anyone has that you don’t. Dax, you’re the fittest and most interesting person I’ve met in a long time, if not in my life. I can tell you’ve seen real darkness and I can tell you pulled yourself out of it. I know that because I’ve done it too. Which means you’re strong. And since the first second I saw you, I’ve spent every minute trying to come up with the guts to tell you how special I know you are. I don’t know what you’re looking for from Levi, and I don’t know what his plans are with you – but I will not let you sit here and say that you’re worthless. I can’t let you think that you’re unwanted. It’s not true, and I won’t let you believe it.” His voice had run from his mouth as if it had a mind of its own. For the first time in the villa, his hands were utterly still, and his heart rate was steady and strong.

“Prove it.”

Jake’s fleeting confidence was broken by the look in her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean prove it, Jake. Right now. I’m sad enough to want this, buzzed enough to feel bold, and sober enough to consent.” Jake took a deep swallow a looked around. The villa lights had all gone out, and it was clear the rest of the islanders had gone to bed. He hadn’t noticed before, as his eyes had adjusted, but with barely a sliver of moon in the sky he and Dax had been left alone in deep darkness. Jake turned to look at Dax. She had removed her sweater and, with her back to him, was pulling her delicate camisole up over her head. What little moonlight there was made the outline of her body glow and the quietness of the night meant Jake could hear every deep, steady breathe she took. She turned around, exposing her chest to him and reached for his hand. “I can’t promise you anything, Jake, because genuinely, I don’t know what I want or what’s coming once the sun rises.” She pulled his hand toward her and placed it softly around one of her full breasts. “But at this moment, I want to feel completely wanted, by someone who I know sees me as more than a body.” Jake reached his other hand out to the back of her neck and pulled her close to him. He touched his forehead to hers as she whispered, “please Jake.”

His lips crashed against hers, their tongues hungrier and hungrier for each other. He moved his hand from the back of her neck up to the base of her crown and twisted his fingers through the bottom of her thick hair. He tugged gently pulling her head back to expose her neck and filling his nose with the smell of vanilla and cinnamon. He began to kiss a slow line down her jaw and along the muscles of her neck as she reached forward, skillfully undoing the buttons of his shirt. Her gentle fingers traced a line up his abs and around his chest, exploring his broad build. Her hands finally landed on his shoulders, and she pushed his shirt from his torso down his arms. Jake took his hands off her body to finish removing his own shirt, and in just that bit of time, Dax had wiggled free from her shorts and pants.

_Fuck me, this is really happening…_

As Jake stripped from his slacks, he remembered the condoms Mason had given out before the first recoupling. He quickly thanked the gods he’d worn the same pants twice, pulled a condom from his back pocket, opened it, and put it on. Dax looked toward him, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

“Jake, want to know something fun?”

“Always.”

“Those are generally safe to use underwater.” Dax winked, and with every curve of her body ringed in moonlight, she elegantly dove headfirst into the pool.

_She’s fucking perfect, and this is really happening, fuck me… Is this really happening?_

Jake lowered himself into the warm water and met her at the far edge of the pool. Pushing her up against the wall, losing himself in her, it felt like they were at the end of the world with nothing but water and starlight surrounding them. His hands found her waist, and after wrapping her in a second set of more intimate kisses, his body couldn’t take any more.

“Dax,” he whispered, “I have to have you.” With one hand she weaved her fingers through his hair and with the other she reached down between them and started stroking him. She leaned her head to the side and nibbling on his ear whispered,

“Tell me again.”

_She’s trying to kill me…_

“Please, Dax I want you. I can’t take it anymore.”

Dax jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist and pressing her chest into his. For just a moment, he noticed the way that water droplets looked like glitter on her shoulders and bare back. But the moment came to a blinding standstill as she slid him inside her for the first time. The intensity of the sensation was debilitating. They both caught their breath in pleasure and began to move together, faster and faster, as they gripped each other's skin. Dax pulled Jake’s head to her chest as they moved, and whimpered quietly in his ear. All he could do not to scream her name was bite down on her collarbone with the same rhythm of her nails digging into his back. A not so quiet moan escaped Dax’s mouth.

“Oh so fucking good baby, please don’t stop…” her voice curled through his head.

She began rolling her hips in a new direction that nearly doubled their pace and his depth inside her.

_Oh fuck, fuck, fuck me… I’m not gonna last._

Jake’s hands tightened around her ass as she came, pulsing tighter and tighter around him, arching her back, and sending him plummeting him into his own climax. Their bodies relaxed into each other, recovering from the explosion and easing into the aftermath. The air felt suddenly still as Jake held her, cradled in his arms, her head nestled on his shoulder.

_______________________________________________

A short while later Jake and Dax crept quietly into the bedroom and into their bed. Dax rolled over, her back to him, and slid her body up against his. Exhausted, Jake curved his body around hers and put his arm over her. Just as the world began to slip away, he heard her quiet voice.

“Thank you.”


	16. About Last Night

Jake awoke slowly as he felt Dax pull herself from his embrace. Unready to open his eyes, he rolled over as her soft hand stroked down his back.

“Good morning gorgeous – “Jake could hear Talia’s whispers from the next bed over. “I heard you and Jake come back in pretty late. How was your night?”

“Hush I don’t want to wake him,” Dax removed her hand. “I don’t want to get into it all right now coz’ everyone’s about to get up, but it was amazing, and confusing, and just, we should chat. I need a good girl chat right now.”

“Absolutely, as long as you’re good, I’m happy.”

“I’m good. Honestly, it’s just so nice to be finally waking up next to someone I actually got to choose, someone I really like you know?” Hearing the optimism in Dax’s voice gave Jake a momentary feeling of hope. What if being coupled up gave them the time they needed?

_Would she ever start to think of me as her first choice? Could I show her what she means to me?_

Dax’s words from the night before began to resurface in Jake’s mind.

_“I feel the same way Jake, I like you so much…I swear we have that spark…none of that seems to matter… I can’t get him out of my head.”_

“Oh god, it was awful, she was so loud. And I’m just lying here like ‘bitch, that was NOT a real orgasm.’ Literally, I’m sure every girl in this room could tell. So fake.” Talia giggled “I feel bad for Allegra and good for the rest of us though 'cuz Miles didn’t seem to have much in him. I don’t think you missed much there babe, it was over pretty quickly.” Jake could feel the bed shake as Dax laughed silently.

“Ugh, jeez, they deserve each other.”

“Oooh, you’re savage babe.” Dax laid back out across the bed, her legs grazing against Jake’s and making it much harder for him to try and go back to sleep.

“They do, though. Those two have caused me so much drama in here for no fucking reason. I have enough of my own actual drama to deal with without Allegra trying to accuse me of sticking it on Mason and Miles mugging me off. At least now they can point all their drama at each other, and I can just move on.”

“Too true, I guess you sort of have to move past things quickly in here.” Jake heard rustling and assumed someone else was waking.

“Morning sweet ladies, what’re you on about?”

“Good morning Tim,” Jake felt Dax get up from the bed. “We’re chatting about coffee, want any?”

“MC Timye coming in without a warning, getting hyped up with some coffee in the morning.”

“Is that a yes?” Dax laughed.

“Well if you’re offering.” Talia chimed in.

“I mean, I’d love one too please Dax.” Jake gave up on more sleep and rolled over.

“Good morning,” he groaned, sitting up and stretching his arms above him.

“Apparently I’m making coffee for an army. Want any?” Jake looked up at Dax, the morning sun streaming through her long loose curls.

“Yes, but I’ll come to help you in a sec.” Dax wandered out toward the kitchen and Talia slid onto the bed next to Jake, her eyes wide with excitement.

“Ok what happened last night, first you two don’t wander in until like 4, and now I wake-up to see you all cuddled up?” Talia had grabbed his bicep and was squeezing it tightly.

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell Talia. Especially not in a room with about 10 other people in it.” Jake hopped up out of bed and reached down to the bedside table. He took a pair of gym shorts from the bedside drawer. “Plus, I’ve got to assist on coffee duty.” He strolled off toward the door following the path Dax had taken to the kitchen. As he walked out, Dax placed a kettle on the burner and bent over to read the dial. She thoughtfully turned it to ignite the flame and hopped up to sit on the counter.

“Need a hand?” Jake offered.

“No, but I’d love some company?” Jake walked over to where Dax sat and stood between her knees. The gold rings in her eyes sparkled in the morning sun, and now, knowing what they felt like, her full lips were even more tempting. He set his hands down on her thighs and looked up to her weary smile.

“I’m actually really glad we got a moment to ourselves before the day started.” Dax smiled and reached out her tantalizing fingers to twirl the hair on his chest.

“Why, so you can stick it on me?” Dax bit her bottom lip seductively and brought the tips of her fingers right to the base of his neck. It was hard for Jake to look down at her without memories of the night before flooding his mind. Being so close to her again, looking down at her tempting collarbone, feeling the softness of her thighs, all he could think of was getting her alone.

“Maybe. And how would you feel about it if I did?” Dax placed her hand on top of his and moved it further up her thigh. She leaned in close to him until her face was just inches from his neck.

“I can’t say I would mind,” she whispered before placing a gentle kiss on his neck. “Last night was mind-blowing…”

_'And you wanna know what’s even more fucked? I still want him to fucking want me.' You’re not her first choice mate, don’t convince yourself this is fucking real._

Jake took her chin into between his fingers and raised her face toward his. He planted a short meaningful kiss on her lips. “Dax, I wanted to say something too.” He took a step back from her, replacing his hands on her knees. “Last night was incredible, but you told me something important. You said you weren’t promising me anything because you still wanted Levi to want you.” Dax’s smile broke into a contemplative frown. “I meant everything I said last night about what you mean to me, and that I’m so happy to continue to get to know you. It’s just…” Jake ran his hand through his hair anxiously.

_Are you really fucking doing this? You’re going to lose her-and it’s going to be your fault. Fuck. FUCK._

“Obviously you’ve noticed I’m not really as outgoing as the other guys.”

“Your quietness is just a symptom of thoughtfulness Jake.”

“Right, and well, I just think the competition part of all this doesn’t get to me the same as the other guys.”

“I’d say that it’s your lack of ego, not your quietness, that keeps you from getting tied up in all the competition. What does that have to do with Levi and me?”

_No, you don’t want to be the thing standing in the way of her getting what she actually wants, just say it. 1...2...3..._

“I feel myself falling for you Dax, and I’m going to do my best to make sure you know that. I just also want you to know that I’ll be ok if you keep pursuing Levi. I really want to keep getting to know you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide anything or hold back at all. I want to stay one of your safe places, and I want you to be happy.”

“I appreciate that Jake, I really do.” The kettle started to boil.


	17. Pied Off

“Oh mate, I’m proper chuffed you’re down here. I was planning on doing legs, and I’ve been craving squats but need a spotter.” Levi jogged over to the gym right as Jake was letting down from a pull-up.

_Fucking hell…_

Jake had spent most of the morning in the gym, revelling in the peace and quiet now that Mason was otherwise occupied fooling around with Cherry. He was doing his best to completely forget that he’d basically told Dax to crack on with Levi. How had he been so fucking stupid? Dax clearly trusted him and liked him. Why didn’t he just leave it all up to chance, or try to pursue her? It’s not like she needed his permission to graft on Levi. If Dax and Levi were going to get together, they were going to get together, but all he’d done was speed up the process. Or worse, make it seem like he wasn’t interested in her. Jake grabbed his towel and used it to wipe the sweat off his brow and face. He tossed the towel down on the weight bench in front of him.

_Maybe I’ll get lucky, and the bar will crush him…_

“Sure, what’re you squatting these days?”

“Usually like 130ish.” Levi had set the bar on the rack and began sliding weight plates onto its ends. “You know its funny mate, you and I haven’t crossed path’s much somehow, even living in the same villa.” Levi smiled up at Jake and laughed. “Honestly feels nice we finally have some mate to mate time.”

“No definitely… funny.” Levi crouched with his neck resting just under the bar and Jake assumed a position resting his hands near Levi’s sides. Levi stood to take the bar off the rack and grunted.

“So, shame about you and Talia ey?” Levi began to slowly bend his knees into a squat as Jake lowered with him, his hands hovering just under the bar.

“Yea. She’s amazing, I’m actually feeling really close to her these days. She’s amazing to talk to.” Levi grunted standing back up.

“Oh close, huh?” he grimaced and adjusted his grip on the bar. “So you think you’ll try to recouple with her?” Jake laughed.

“No mate, she picked someone else, remember? Talia and I are just friends.”

“Sure, but she’s well fuckin’ fit.” Levi continued.

“Sure yea, but honestly she’s pretty amazing to just spend time with. She’s had a crazy life even as young as she is.” Levi finished his reps and Jake helped return the bar to the rack. He took a deep breath and turned to Jakeclasping the side of Jake's bicep with a raised eyebrow.

“Right, but like, c’mon, I wouldn’t turn her out of bed, she’s a fuckin worldie.”

_How dense is this bloke…_

“Right, she’s gorgeous, but we’re just friends, she wanted us to just be friends” Levi turned back around and crouched to begin squatting again.

“Sorry about it, mate. I’d be kicking myself if I’d let that bit of ass get away.”

Jake couldn’t quite decide what to say next. He was caught somewhere between defending Talia’s honour as a person and defending his own ability to have genuine friendships with women when Levi interrupted. He was slowly bending his knees and grunting as he continued.

“I’d jump at the chance to have her, plus, didn’t she say something early days about being into women? I feel like with her in a couple I’d have a real chance at scoring more than one at the same time?”

_This fucking twat…_

“Don’t you have enough on your plate as it is.” The words escaped Jake’s mouth before he intended and in far snarkier a tone than he’d planned. Levi dropped the bar on the rack before making it into a full squat.

_Shit…_

“So she’s told you.”

“She hasn’t told me much.”

_Liar._

Jake ran his hands through his hair. He walked over to the shelving unit and grabbed a towel. “Really, when we coupled up, she let me know she had eyes on you and just that you’d had some moments.” Jake tossed Levi the towel and walked to sit on the edge of the weight bench. “I was sort of surprised is all, seemed like you and Jen had a pretty good thing going.” Levi laughed and sat on the opposite side of the weight bench facing Jake. He leaned forward on to his hands as his eye began to glimmer like a child in a candy shop.

“Honestly mate. My head’s well gone. I’m so fucked.” Levi reached around himself and scratched his shoulder with the opposite hand. “It’s like this right? Jen is a proper sort, she’s sweet and fit, and like, my mum would shit herself if I brought Jen home. Like Jen is the type of girl who knows which fucking fork to use first.” Jake kept silent and walked over to the pull-up bar where he’d been working out before. “But mate, you’ve seen Dax. She’s just so… literally, she walks into the room, and I’m hard. She pops into my head, and I’m hard. And it’s like, I fancy Dax for a bit of fun, even though, she’s not my type for something serious. But I know Jen’s really wife material… “

_Not his type? All this for fucking, not his damn type?_

Levi rubbed his hand across his mouth and pulled at his lip for a moment. “You can keep something on the down-low right Jakey boy?” Jake let himself down from a pull-up and nodded. Levi slid forward on the weight bench, getting close to Jake and lowering his voice. “Ok well, the night Cherry and Rohan got here, Dax and I sort of shagged on the terrace, and jesus mate, she’s a fucking minx.” Levi ran his hand over his head exasperatedly and let out a heavy breath. “Like, did you know she’s into BMSD or BD, I don't know, fucking dominance or whatever. Mate, some of the shit she wanted, I’d never even done before, calling me sir and shit. And this was our first fucking shag, I can’t stop thinking about getting her in the sack again.”

_He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. Playing like that involves rules, and consent, and respect. Fuck if she’d let me I’d…_

“So what’re you going to do?” The words tasted like bitter orange in Jake’s mouth. How could Levi be stringing her along like this? How much responsibility did he have to set Levi straight about what Dax deserved? How much trouble would he get in for hitting Levi square in the jaw, and could he make it look like an accident? Even if he felt dumb for it, it'd been much easier this morning to be the bigger person for Dax.

“I don’t fucking know, mate, but I’ve got to decide soon. I’ve told both of them they’d be my pick next recoupling, and obviously, that’s not gonna fly.” Levi picked up his towel and tossed it in a laundry basket near the entrance to the gym. “But for now, I think I’m gonna swim and keep my options open.” Jake felt nauseous. He knew he had white knight tendencies, he knew Dax was strong enough to handle herself, but what he didn’t know was how much more of Levi he could take.

_______________________________________________

“Oi, I’ve got a text,” Rohan called out to the villa.

“Oh thank god,” Talia moaned, “I can not take any more of Tim’s fact about Spain.” Jake stood up a little straighter as Dax walked over to him.

“If it’s a challenge you and me better win solder. I didn’t partner up with these muscles for nothing.” Dax reached over and squeezed Jakes bicep playfully. Jake laughed and put his arm around her. She leaned into to him pressing her hand along the side of abs until Levi and Jen ran up to the circle. Dax hastily let go of Jake, stepped forward, and turned over her shoulder to face him. “I’m gonna check in with Jen quick.” She darted across the circle to stand next to Jen, conveniently also, next to Levi.

_If she fucking knew what he was saying about her…_

“Read it out then!” shouted someone from behind him.

> **Islanders, it’s time to find out if you’ve been paying attention, or just passing notes in the back of the class. Today’s challenge, Pied Off, will test what you know about what’s been going on in the villa since you arrived. It will be boys vs girls, and the winning team will get to choose first at the next recoupling. There will also be a special prize for the best individual boy and girl. #battleofthesexes #studybuddies**

“Oh my god, that’s huge.” Allegra gasped.

“Never mind all that though,” Jen cheered, “let’s show these boys what we’ve got.”

The islanders bounded out to the front terrace, cheering the entire way. Jake jogged a step behind Dax, refusing to let an opportunity to enjoy the sight of her bum pass him by. As the group arrived outside, Jake could see a huge table full of cream pies down the middle of the challenge deck. Rohan and Cherry made their way up to a blackboard at the front and began to announce the rules.

“Ok kids, first up Mason and Dax!” The islanders screamed and shouted as Mason and Dax stepped up to opposite sides of the table on either side of the first sweaty looking pie.

“Eeee!” Cherry squealed “We’re going to ask you a question. The first person to answer correctly will win a point, and more importantly, will get to throw a pie at the other player!” Dax's eyes went wide as she reached behind her, stroking her hair up into a ponytail and then masterfully tieing it into a knot.

_mmmm, she’s good with knots…_

Rohan stepped forward, “Ok guys, here’s your question. On day two in the villa, which boy said that Jen ‘wasn’t real’ and that ‘posh birds are all the same?’ Dax’s brow furrowed deeply, and she pensively bit her lip. Mason instinctively reached down and grabbed the pie.

“Oh, oh!” he shouted. “That was Tim.”

“And that’s the right answer!” Cherry cheered. Jake looked over at Jen, who was frowning and crossing her arms in front of her. Jake saw a real hurt in her eyes just for a moment before she straightened her posture and laughed.

“Tim, what the hell, mate?” Levi asked protectively putting his arm around Jen’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Jen. That was honestly a whole three days ago, though.” Tim looked legitimately apologetic.

“One point to Mason and the boys!” Rohan yelled, smiling wide and clearly changing the subject.

Cherry giggled and stroked Mason on the arm. “And that also means Dax gets pied, though really it seems like Jen got pied if you think about it.”

_Wow, that girl has no filter…_

Dax put her face into her hands. “Ugh Mase, be gentle please.” Mason looked down at the pie in his hand and then devilishly back up at Dax. Before she could utter another word, Mason had chucked the pie right at her face. The islanders all gasped, but the air was soon filled with Dax’s rich boundless laugher. Even through all the cream, you could see her dimples.

“Oh you lot, you’re gonna want to get questions wrong on purpose.” She wiped the cream from her eyes and sucked a bit from her pointer and middle fingers. Her lips wrapped around her fingers as her delicate cheeks caved in.

_Fuck me…._

“Honestly, it tastes like coconut,” she laughed, and the game carried on. After the first few questions, the boys were clearly taking a surging lead.

“Next up,” announced Rohan, “Jake and Erikah!”

_Here goes nothing._

“Come on Erikah!! For the girls!!” Jen cried, swinging her arms madly above her head. As Jake walked up to the table, he could see Dax over Erikah’s shoulder. She was fiddling with her bathing suit top, trying to get pie out from underneath the straps. Dax reached down gently pulling on the middle of her bikini top which made her chest, ever so slightly, bounce. She reached down and slid her pointer finger along her breast on the inside of her suit.

“Finally, one point for the girls!” hailed Cherry.

“Wait what?” Jaked asked.

“That was the right answer, so Erikah takes the point,” Cherry explained. Jake hadn’t even heard the question. Erikah picked up the pie between them and gently tipped it over Jake’s head while mouthing ‘I’m sorry.” Up next, Tim wasn’t so kind. He answered quicker than Allegra and threw his pie in full force. Then Dax is called up again against Levi.

“Ready for your question?” Cherry tossed her hair over her shoulder then held the game card up to her face. “Ok, which girl did sweet, sweet Jake write a romantic poem for?”

_I’m never going to live this down, am I?_

Dax grabbed the pie in front of her at the speed of light. “Oh! It was Talia! I know it was!” she shouted. Dax threw Jake a cheeky wink and bit her lip.

“That is correct!” Rohan snickered before turning to face Jake, “What the hell mate, when do I get a poem?”

“Whenever you put out.” Jake looked at Rohan and gave an exaggerated eyebrow raise as the group laughed.

“Ok ok, Levi, it’s time for you to get pied.”

“Fair enough,” Levi turned to Dax, “Don’t hold back now, these are the rules, after all.” Dax lifted the pie and pressed it into her own chest.

_What?_

She set the plate down, and with a sultry look turned back to Levi. Whipped cream slid across her front and started melting in a small trail down her body. Dax reached out and pulled Levi toward her. With permission given, Levi thrust his face directly between Dax’s breast and licked a small line on top of each one. The rest of the islanders stood in shocked silence as Jen’s eyes went wide. What had till this moment been a secret, was now on full display. Dax was marking her territory and taking no prisoners. Jake felt his heart turn into a 20-kilo weight as it sank inside him.

_Sure Dax, graft on Levi, don't hold back, I don’t mind, I don’t want to stand in the way…. I'm a fucking dickhead._

Talia walked up behind Jake and lightly squeezed his hand. “Promise me if you two end up together you’ll invite me in the bedroom, at least once…” Jake wanted to laugh. He tried to smile and enjoy the idea of fooling around with both Talia and Dax, he tried to enjoy the bold spirit of the girl he was falling for, but instead, all he could muster was a squeeze back on Talia’s hand, and a whispered –

“Of course.”

Alegra beat Miles at the next question, forcing everyone to watch as she sensually rubbed cream all over his body. Jake got another question wrong, this time against Talia who chucked the pie right at his face.

“Mate at least this time she’s pieing me off I get a snack. Last time I just had to watch her leave with fucking Tim.” The islanders laughed, and Mason clapped Tim on the back.

“Aww Jake, you’re so quiet usually,” Erikah crooned leaning over to touch Jake on the arm, “it’s actually so charming to see you get in on the banter.” Jake blushed at her touch and tried to muster up some sort of thanks. When he couldn’t, the group laughed. Still, Jake got the comfort of noticing Dax glare at Erikah, as if Erikah’s flirting had upset her. Tim and Mason each took a point for the boys, before Jen took one for the girls, and following Dax’s lead, she made Levi eat the pie off her body.

_Lucky fucking prick._

Finally, it was Jake’s turn again.

“Ok, Jake and Dax. Please take your places in front of the pie.” Rohan waved his arm out presenting the pie as if it’d hadn’t been sitting there since the beginning of the challenge.

Jake arrived across the table from Dax. He looked her square in the face and could help but feel a twinge of arousal at the way her normally sweet eyes were filled with competitive fire.

“May the best person win,” Jake winked at Dax.

“Ok, here’s the question” Rohan began. “Who said, ‘Jake is physically my type on paper, and also personality-wise. It’s just, all there.” Dax grabbed the pie in front of them before Rohan had even finished speaking.

“This is so melty, but that was me. I think I said it in the beach hut?” Jake’s heart skipped a beat.

_She said that?_

“Actually no.” Rohan smiled and clapped Jake on the back. “I think you and me are going to have some friendly competition for Jake’s attention. Jake got a guess?”

“Um, Talia?”

“There we go mate, that’s correct! Which means Dax, you get pied off!” Jake took the pie and held it out in front of her face so she could lightly touch her nose in it.

_No need causing drama._

“I mean Jake is clearly the one who actually got pied off considering Talia said that and then recoupled with someone else.” She laughed bitterly.

“Jen!” Talia shouted, he bright blue eyes sending daggers at Jen and a chill down Jake’s spine.

“I don’t blame you Talia,” Cherry chimed in, “Jake is everyone’s type on paper.” Jake could feel the blood rush to his cheeks. “Moving swiftly on though…” Talia and Miles were up next with Miles ultimately launching a pie at her. Levi and Mason got the next few questions right causing that atmosphere to ramp up as the challenge ended.

“Ok, drumroll please,” Rohan requested as the islander clapped their hand and beat their thighs. “Both teams have seven points total, so now, Erikah and Tim are up, with it all to play for!” Erikah and Tim walked up to the table on either side of the final pie. “Your question is, on the first day, which of the islanders said they had previously cheated on a partner?” Tim snatched the pie out from between them.

“ERIKAH, JAKE AND LEVI!!!” He bellowed. Jake’s stomach turned at the thought of him falling into this same shameful category as Levi.

_Great, let’s bring that up again._

“Amazingly, that is correct!” Rohan smiled. “Which I think means, Erikah is that last person pied off today and the BOYS WIN!”

“Pied off like whatever mug she was shagging when she cheated on him?” Miles added.

“Jeez, Miles, no need to be savage,” Talia responded, clearly trying to contain a laugh. Tim walked over to Miles still holding the pie.

“Piss off mate, you don’t get to pick on Erikah, you don’t know her like that.”

“What is she not adult enough to face the truth?” Mile took a step even closer to Tim.

_Jeez, these two…_

“Right you’re in for it!” Tim shouted as he hurled the pie right toward Miles's face. Miles ducked to the side narrowly missing the pie and causing it to explode on Mason.

“Bruv,” Mason growled wiping pie from his nose, “I swear I’m going to get you fro that.” The boys began to wrestle amongst the exploded pie as Cherry and Jen began to shriek. Jake looked over at Dax, and for a moment forgot the world as he delighted in the way her eyes twinkled with laughter as she joined in the fun and tried to smear leftover pie on Talia.


	18. Take Me to Dinner First

“Jaaaake,” Dax giggled, “You have to stop walking so fast. You can’t blindfold me and tell me to hold your giant shoulders and then speed off in the opposite direction!” Jake laughed and turned around to her, taking one of her hands in his.

“Ok ok, you’re right just a few more steps.” Jake could feel his mouth starting to dry out as they walked closed and closer to the door of the roof terrace. He’d been practising what he was going to say all afternoon, but suddenly it all felt like too much. Was any of it going to be worth it? Would she even like something like this?

_Ok mate, you’re too far in, just, pretend right. Pretend to be like a cheeky, confident guy._

The dressing room was dark, which sort of negated the blindfold he’d put on her, but brought him pleasantly back to the last moment they’d spent together in the dark. Their footsteps echoed through the empty room as Jake reached to open the door. “Ok, step out.” He instructed, pulling her to him out into the heavy humid warmth of the night air. “Um, ok. So, I know you were disappointed that Erikah and Tim won those dates and you didn’t get one.” Jake stood behind Dax, placing his hands on her shoulders and massaging gently along the base of her neck. “And, I know if you’d gotten one you might’ve taken another guy.” He reached down and hugged around her middle, pulling her close and kissing the side of her neck. “But last night was, well, mind-blowing, and I know it’s backwards and I know it’s old fashioned…” He untied the knot in the tie he’d used as a blindfold to reveal a dinner set up on the far bench of the terrace with a bottle of champagne sweating in an ice bucket off to the side. Two full flutes resting delicately on the wall’s ledge behind it.

“Oh my god, Jake…” Dax covered her mouth with her hands, “what got into you?” She turned to look at him, a beaming smile across her face.

“It’s dumb, and I swear I’m not suggesting you don’t have the right to do whatever with whomever you want, but my mum always taught me that if you’re not willing to buy a girl dinner, you’re not worthy of her body.” Jake laughed and blushed deeply. “If I’m honest, that’s what got me started cooking as a teenager. I convinced myself if I could make a girl dinner instead of just buying it, then I’d be drowning in birds.” Dax laughed energetically and put her hand on the side of his face.

“You’re really something else, Jake.” She turned back toward the setup. “This is absolutely darling and just in time because I’m starving.” The pair walked over and sat down. “Did you make all this?”

“Yea,” Jake smiled coyly, “sorry it’s not more lush, the pantry here isn’t exactly gourmet.”

“More lush? This is the first meal I’ve had in two weeks that isn’t a sandwich or breakfast food.” Dax’s eyes widened, and she lifted up the plate to her nose. She breathed in deeply. “Did Talia tell you what to cook?”

“Um, no?” Jake’s face twisted into a perplexed frown. “I just love paella really. After culinary school and a nasty break up, I actually lived here in Spain for about two years. I worked at a restaurant up in San Sebastian right on the water and just fell in love with how their food is so deeply interconnected to their heritage as a fishing community.”

“That’s incredible, but really, you just love paella and randomly decided to make it?” Dax’s eyebrows relaxed as she unfolded a napkin onto her lap.

“I’ve never had someone be so suspicious of my menu before.” Jake laughed “Yes I swear, I did not receive any insider paella info today. Why do you think I did?” Dax took her first bite of the dish, and her eyes immediately squinted shut. He full lips dragged sensuously off the fork as she moaned.

“I was talking to Talia earlier, literally about this dish. Paella was what my mom would cook me for on every single one of my birthdays. It’s my absolute favourite, but I think your plan has a flaw – “

“Oh?”

“No seriously, you’re fit, and all but ohmigod, it's going to chase all the girls away. After eating this I can't be with you," She took a huge bite. "I want to run away with this paella. I would do it I swear, it’s so good I could marry it and die happy.” Dax let out a sweet curl of laughter, her dimples contracting, and soon the pair were laughing together.

“Was your mom a chef, or just a fan of rice?” Jake reached behind him to grab the champagne and handed a flute to Dax.

“She was Spanish. Actually, both of my parents were from not too far from here. They moved to London for my dad’s job and then just stayed.” Dax took a sip from her glass and bit the side of her lip. “It’s funny, I haven’t had anything with this kind of flavour since they passed.”

“Wow, Dax, I’m so sorry – I didn’t mean to – “she interrupted him.

“No, it’s amazing. Jake, this food is wonderful. My parents died in a car accident when I was eighteen. It was crazy and terrible and unfair, but that’s life, I guess. After they died I really looked, I looked all over England for a place that made some of the dishes my mom used to, but nothing ever tasted really right. I don’t remember deciding to stop looking, but I also can’t remember the last time I had anything like this.” Dax shovelled the warm fragrant rice into her mouth at a steady pace. Jake laughed.

“I’m just thrilled you like it.”

“I remember, we’d eat dinner, and then sit at the table for hours after we finished. My parents just talking about their day, talking about the news, talking about whatever over empty plates.” Dax held her flute close to her chest. “I used to get so annoyed at how long we’d sit, but my mom would turn to me and say ‘ _Xalvadora, un dia, fuimos al campo juntos con la comida y la lujuria. Y cuando fuimos completos, todo lo que quedaba fui el interés.’”_ The sweet foreign words melted like sugar in Jake’s ears. If there was anything left in the world that could make her more attractive, Jake couldn’t possibly think of what it would be. She turned her head down in concentration.

_Xalvadora…_

“It means ‘I went to the countryside with food and lust, and when I had my fill – “ Jake interrupted her.

“I returned with only my interests.’” Jake took a long sip of his champagne and looked back up at Dax. “That’s a pretty saying, your mom seems wise.”

“She was,” Dax pursed her lips and took a deep breath. “I didn’t give her enough credit when I was younger, but, tasting this food, sitting here, I’m starting to think she was onto something.” Dax leaned closer to Jake. “I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I've been wondering a lot lately, like, am I focusing on the food and the lust you know? Wasting the time I have to find someone that goes past that? This feels so complicated Jake.” She grabbed his hand and started rubbing the back with small circles of her thumb. "You're right, last night was mind-blowing, out chemistry is, well it's astounding. I just, I've invested so much into Levi and I don't wanna fuck up what you and I have. You're becoming such an important friend to me and -" 

_Friend._

There was a knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt bruv,” Levi reached up and grasped the top edge of the door frame. Leaning out he continued “I just needed Dax for a chat. Jen’s off on her date with Tim, and I, well, just wanted a chat.” The spell of the moment was broken. Dax dropped Jake's hand and subtly slid backwards from her plate.

“Oh, Levi. I, um.” Dax emptied her flute and stood up. “Jake dinner was absolutely delish. Last time I owed you, this time you owe me. I want to know where you learned Spanish.” She jogged across the terrace and back through the door as Levi put his hand on her ass. Jake could see Dax giggle and playfully swat Levi's chest as the door swung closed. Jake looked at the half-eaten plate of paella sitting opposite him. He flopped backwards onto the bench letting his head fall back and rest on the terrace ledge. He looked up into the dark orange sky, the scent of vanilla and cinnamon lingered even stronger than the aroma of the food.

_What the fuck am I doing here?_

_______________________________________________

Jake wandered out past the day beds and flopped down in one of the plush sun loungers. Whiskey in hand he stared out at the red and orange swirls of the clouds in the sunset.

“Hey there handsome, isn’t is bad luck to drink alone?” Rohan jogged down the stairs to where Jake sat, smiling and swigging from a beer of his own.

“Seems like you’re here with me now. Welcome.” Jake extended him an arm and gestured widely toward the open seats next to him. He sipped his whiskey. “How’s your night been mate?”

“Ehh it’s been good. Spent a good bit putting in some graft on Erikah, sort of making conversation with a few of the other lads.” Rohan’s normally bright young confidence seemed dull. As he dropped down onto the sun lounger next to Jake, he let out a sigh. “What do you think about Erikah?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean like, what do you think? You’re a little different than the other lads in this place. It’s like, I was talking to Mason earlier and all he kept talking about was hit fit she was, and did we need to come up with some kind of code so we could talk about what we did with the girls without them overhearing.” Jake laughed and sat up in his chair.

“Don’t let Mason bother you,” Jake sipped his drink and scratched his head. “Mason is a puppy, he’s just blinded by all the treats. He’ll steady off soon, get it out of his system, especially if Cherry keeps running him ragged.” Rohan's eyes opened wide as both his eyebrows raised.

“Ok, bloody hell, seriously. Have they come out of the shower at all today?” Jake laughed heartily.

“So, tell me why you’re worried about Erikah. It seemed like you two were getting on.” Rohan sat up dropping his legs over the side of the lounger.

“Ok, so it's like this. I think Erikah is gorgeous and sweet, but I just can’t tell what she’s after. Right? Like, the first since I've been here she's been absolutely cheeky, like super fucking randy. She’s all over me, excited going on about how it seemed like some of the other girls were into me, just clearly well chuffed she got me.”

“Seems like she’s into you then, no?”

“That’s the thing – today she sort of seems. Bored? She won't really chat to me, keeps asking if I think we’ll still get more new islanders, and she seems really out of order about Cherry. I don’t know, it’s, it sort of seems like maybe she just liked that I was new? Should I be grafting harder? I was thinking, maybe I could try acting a little tougher you know, like the other lads, put on more of a show.” Jake reached out and clasped Rohan on the shoulder.

“Just take it day by day Rohan, don’t get all caught up in forcing things. Just keep getting to know her. Either you’ll feel the click, or someone new will come in, or, honestly Rohan, you’ll find someone on the outside.”

“Why does it feel so crazy in here? Like, how could I possibly find love on the outside if I can’t find the one on freaking **love** island?” Rohan dramatically threw himself back on the sunlounger. “I just want her to like me.” Jake threw back his drink and then tapped the bottom of the empty glass on his knee.

“Look, mate, if Erikah is going to choose someone else over you, if she’s not interested, there’s nothing you can do. Just be yourself, do you really want to be coupled up with someone who doesn’t love you for the fucking clown you are?” Jake reached over and tousled Rohan’s hair. Don't chase someone who's not interested in chasing you back.

_I should start taking my own advice…_


	19. Rated

The next morning Jake awoke to the usual clamour of Islanders waking up. He could feel Dax’s legs untangle from his as she sat up. “It sounded like it was Tim’s phone.”

“Yea, I think it did.” Mason’s voice rang out. Jake sat up, and blearily opened his eyes. Dax leaned over and looked down at Jake, the morning sun creating a halo around her loosely tied up hair. Seeing her above him, he couldn’t help but long for the taste of her skin.

“Morning handsome, Timye’s got a text but the geezer’s asleep on top of his phone.” Dax giggled as Mason continued to try and wake Tim. 

_How does she look so stunning, we’ve all just woke up?_

“Oi, what?” Tim shouted.

“You’ve got a TEXT!” shouted Erikah!

“Oi, ok, ok, gimme a second, jeez.”

****

> **lslanders, the next recoupling will take place this evening, but first, today’s challenge is called “Rated.” Boys, you get to spend the afternoon in the beach hut, girls assemble on the roof terrace. #ratedforbanter #allchatnosplat**

“Oh god, are the boys literally going to be judging us? I can’t even.” Allegra casually rolled over, seeming to go back to sleep. Tim jumped up with a surprising burst of energy.

“Wait a minute if this is a challenge about banter, maybe I’ll actually win for once.” Jake laughed and sat up, gently placing his arm around Dax’s hips.

“What are you talking about mate, didn’t you win the challenge yesterday? And get to go on a date while the rest of us lot were stuck here?” Jake raised an eyebrow at Tim.

“Oh, well” Tim jumped up onto his bed and struck a pose with his fist up in the air, "BOYS TO THE BEACH HUT!!” Mason sprang out of bed and ran straight into Tim, grabbing him around the middle and throwing him over his shoulder.

“Bruvs let’s fucking goooooooooo!”

____________________________________________

“Ok bruvs, I don’t know what parts of the girls we have to rate, but I’m down for a challenge where I get to picture and compare the best arses in England.” Mason clenched his fist and beat it twice on his chest before falling down onto the beach hut chair. Jake couldn’t help but subtly shake his head.

_Oh Mason, aren’t you a gentleman…_

“Not to burst your bubble, but something tells me best ass is not going to be on the rating list. “ Levi shoved Mason teasingly in the shoulder before dropping down on the seat next to him. “Plus if we’re making requests, I’d rather rank tits.” The two laughed as Tim nudged Levi with his elbow. The rest of the guys were getting comfortable on the stools set up behind the chair as Miles phone beeped.

“Oh mates,” Mason continued, “could you imagine Cherry’s tits and Dax’s ass on the same bird…” Miles interrupted.

“Jeez enough you two, I’ve got a text.”

****

> **Boys, your task is to rank the girls in various categories, from highest to lowest. The answers you give as a group will be compared to the order the girls place themselves in. First, please choose which girl has the best chat.**

“Alright, alright bruvs, we got to make this fair.” Tim walked up to the front of the group, “no nominating the bird you’re coupled with ok. You’re with her, we know you like her best.”

“Ok fair, fair,” Mason rubbed his hand over his mouth.

“I’ll jump in, best chat has got to be Talia or Dax… that’s why they’re the only one’s who don’t mind being coupled up with ole’ Jake, the silent man.” Levi mimicked being a mime and patted two hands flat on an imaginary wall in front of him. The group laughed as Jake plastered on a polite smile. “Aw mate, don’t scowl. I’m just winding you up.” Levi tossed a smug smile in Jake’s direction.

_Actually though, how much trouble would I be in if I hit him?_

“He’s not wrong.” Jake smiled. “Talia and Dax both have hilarious chat – between the two though Talia tells some amazing stories about her festivals, she’s done some wild stuff.”

“He’s right,” Rohan’s eyes went wide. “She had me splitting telling this story about how she’d taken some shit with a friend and somehow ended up spending the night on Skeptikal’s tour bus and had to hitchhike back to the campground.” Mason’s jaw dropped.

_Damn, kind of honoured she ever wanted to fuck me…_

“Talia’s shagged Skeptikal? Seriously?”

“Focus you bellends, has anyone had a bad chat with Talia?” Miles gestured with both hands out, scanning the room for the boys’ responses. All the boys shook their heads or muttered a simple no.

“Ok, best chat, Talia. Now, worst chat?” Tim slapped his hand down on Mason’s knee.

“Gotta be Cherry, but only because she hasn’t stopped snogging Mason long enough for me to get a chat in.”

_He’s not wrong, I don’t think I’ve talked to her since she got here…_

“What can I say, boys, she got a taste of chocolate and doesn’t want anything else…” Mason stretched his arms out behind his head. “Real talk though, her chat’s great, trust me. Worst chat’s gotta be Allegra. She’s always fucking aggy about something.”

_I’d rather stare at Cherry than talk to Allegra…_

“Yea my vote is for Allegra” Jake chimed in chuckling.

“Same,” added Levi. “Sorry, mate.” Miles pulled out his phone and wrote in their answers.

“I’m telling her it was all you lot.”, Levi’s phone buzzed next.

****

> **Next up, please decide which girl is the best dressed and rank them accordingly.**

Jake’s mind went completely blank.

_Do I really not notice anyone but Dax?_

“Ok since I can’t say Cherry, its gotta be Jen.” Mason patted Levi on the back in congratulations. "She always looks like a proper sort, and like, doesn’t she do clothes for work?” Levi smiled proudly.

“Yea she's a fashion blogger, has something like 2 million followers.” Tim smiled wide and earnestly.

“No doubt she dresses well, always kind of put together and posh with a little interesting detail to keep you on your toes.” The whole roomed turned and looked at him, clearly shocked at the sincerity of the complement.

“Guess your date last night had you feeling good there huh Timmy boy?” Levi priggishly patted Tim on the cheek. “Jen for best dressed it is,” he said as he typed the name into his phone. “Who’s up for worst dressed?”

_Am I really that oblivious? Cause it seems like most of the girls wear close to the same thing most days?_

Tim spoke up first, “Ahh, I hate this. One of them is gonna be steamed they got put last.” He ran his hand through his hair. Jake rubbed his chin and then stood up.

“Pick Dax,” he shook his head defeatedly, “We can just say it’s because for working in a hospital she’s gotta wear scrubs all the time. She’s tough, so it won’t bother her, and she’ll be sweet on that we remembered what she does for work.” Levi locked eyes with Jake. He raised an eyebrow and rubbed a hand across his mouth.

“You mean, she’ll be sweet on you for remembering her work?” The air in the beach hut went entirely still. Jake could feel tension swelling in his fingers as they flexed out and back into a fist.

“I’m just trying to make sure none of the girls are offended here, not to mention Dax is my partner right now.”

“Sure, right now, she is.” Levi pulled out his phone and began typing. Rohan’s phone beeped.

“Last one boys” he chimed, breaking some of the tension.

****

> **Finally, please decide which girl is the most datable and rank them accordingly.**

Levi stood up and made for the door. “We’re all in agreement on this one right, do we even need to chat?”

_It’s Dax._

“Dax.” “Dax’s the top” “Dax right?” “It’ Dax.”

_And this is why she’ll never be with you mate._

“And Allegra at the bottom?” The boys all nodded in agreement and began to head back out toward the pool.

“Wait a minute, I’m being overruled, I don’t agree with either of those.” Miles continued shouting as the rest of the group left the beach hut.

____________________________________________

****

> **Islanders, you’ve all had a chance to rate each other. Next, the boys will need to guess where they were ranked. Correct guesses will be rewarded with ice lollies, and the people with the highest ranking in each category will be awarded stylish sashes. #knowyourplace #ratedorslated**

Jake felt his phone buzz in his pocket. “Ok mates, first up we’re raking ourselves according to who has the biggest personality. Mason scoffed loudly.

“No way am I going to the top, it’s not best personality, it’s biggest! Who chats the most rubbish, that’ll be the top.”

Levi stepped forward, “Mase and I are def in the middle. It’s gotta be you, Rohan, with your dips and handstands.”

“Me? No way! It’s Tim for sure. He’s got the loudest and best banter.” Tim ran his hands through his hard and then shrugged.

“I won’t apologize for my bantz mates, but yeah, it's probably me.”

_I’m just going to take my Mr. ‘Silent-Man’ self to the bottom of the line here… silently…_

“Jake, stop looking so worried,” Levi groaned, “It’s you for sure at the bottom.” Cherry reached down at her feet and picked up the sash marked ‘Personality.’

“Actually we gave the award to … Miles!” Cherry walked over to Miles and handed him the sash while giving him a gracious kiss on both cheeks.

“That’s a bloody mistake!” Miles shouted.

“Babe,” Talia interrupted, “you’re literally being extra right now, listen to yourself.” Giggles spread across the group as Cherry stepped forward again.

“And you guys were right for the bottom end, Jake we thought you were the least extra. To be fair, we had it between Jake and Levi though.” Cherry batted her eyes at both boys. “Jake has this quiet, strong, cheeky bit about him, whereas Levi just seems so solid and dependable.”

_What does he say to these girls when they’re alone with him, dependable?_

“So which is more attractive?” Levi asked, sending a steamy gaze toward Cherry who immediately burst into sultry giggles. Rohan laid a hand on Levi’s arm.

“C’mon mate, you’re both standing right here…”

Jake took a deep breath. He didn’t want to look weak, and even more, he didn’t want Levi to think he could get under his skin.

_Fuck, I don’t want to know, but I definitely want to know –_

“No, go ahead, let them answer. We can both be men about it. Right, Levi?” Levi smirked.

Cherry bit on the edge of her pointer finger and dragged it along her lips. “I don’t know, you’ve both got insane bodies, so that’s 100% there. But I was telling the girls earlier that I usually go for more out there types, so I have to go with Levi.” Cherry turned to Dax and grabbed her hand playfully. “Dax, you and I have such similar tastes though – which do you think is more attractive?”

Dax shot a fierce look over Cherry’s shoulder to Talia. Jake could tell her breathing was getting faster, and as she bit the side of her mouth, he regretted asking for this answer.

“Oh, um, I just couldn’t choose, you know. Cause it’s different, they’re just different – and well – I just like you both for so many different reasons. “

“Looks like you’re my competition, mate.” Levi smiled at Jake before sending a flirtatious wink to Dax. A ring from Erikah’s phone broken the tension. “Oh that’s me, next category is fittest body.” Mason gave a full stretch of his arms lading in a tight muscle man pose.

“Alright stand back, boys. I’ve got this one in the bag.” He walked right to the front of the line.

“Shall we just let him have this one mate?” Levi turned to Jake, laughing.

“I mean, think of how badly he’ll take it if we don’t?” Jake responded moving third in line past Levi and Mason. Tim pushed his way past Rohan into second to last.

“Ok boys, you’ve got this one all mixed. We chose Levi at the top and, Tim we’re so sorry, but you and Rohan have to switch.” Talia walked the sash marked ‘Fittest’ over to Levi and draped it over his shoulders. Mason looked visibly upset, as did Tim.

“Aw!” cried Erikah. “Timye this is not really last place, it's more like 6th place in a competition of 6 winners, plus you know you’ve got the best chat!” Tim smiled as his confidence slowly restored itself.

“At least I can keep you laughing. I know that’s what really gets a girl in bed.” The group cheered and laughed.

“Mate if they’re laughing in the bedroom you might be doing something wrong?” Mason cracked.

“Ok ok!” Jen called, “this is the big one boys! Most Datable!” With aggressive confidence, Levi walked up to the front of the line. “We know I’m the fittest, and Cherry thinks I’m solid and dependable, sorry mates, I think this one is also me.” Mason rolled his eyes and took second place.

“I’m only letting you stand there so we’ll get to the announcement that it’s me sooner.” Miles wandered down to the end of the line.

“I know you lot are going to put me here, and even though you’re wrong, I want an ice lolly out of it.”

Dax reached down to her feet and picked up the sash marked Most Datable and held it up over her head like a ring girl. “And the most datable boy on Love Island is….. JAKE!” She smiled and laughed, walking the sash over to him. “Congratulations soldier…” she whispered sweetly looking up into his eyes. She reached up around him to help him put the sash over his head and kissed him softly on each cheek. The touch of her lips sent electricity down his spine as he willed the moment to last longer. Cherry was saying something sweet about being able to bring him home to her nan, and Talia was commenting on his looks, but the specifics were lost to him. Voices boiled down echos and fuzz as Jake watched Dax walk back into line with the girls, his heart rate increasing with every sway of her full hips. As she arrived back at her place in like, she raised her eyebrows at him biting her bottom lip.

_god what I would give for her to want me again, need me again…_

“I’ve got a text,” called Tim.

****

> **Girls, it’s your turn. The first category the boys rates you on was “best chat.” Please arrange yourself according to how you think they voted. #talkingsmack**

Almost in unison Jen, Erikah and Dax shouted “Talia!” Talia turned to the other girls in line with an assured smile on her face.

“You lot are sweet,” she grabbed Dax hand and gave it a squeeze then walked up to the front of the line.

“We’re not just sweet,” Erikah flipped her hair from her shoulder and dropped her hand onto her heart. “You tell the best stories Tals, honest, if I were into girls, you could’ve chatted me into bed without even trying.”

“So who’s at the bottom?” Allegra asked, clearly annoyed that she was not going to win this round.

“I’ll take it,” Cherry giggled, “I don’t really think my chat’s all that bad, but I know I haven’t gotten a ton of 1-on-1 time with most of the boys.” Levi and Tim sniggered at Cherry’s comment and showered Mason with various pats on the back and shoulder as he blew a kiss at Cherry. Rohan stepped forward.

“So, you lot were right all us mates love when Talia chats us up, so she was number 1,” Rohan walked the ‘Best Chat’ sash over to Talia. “But actually Allegra you have to switch with Cherry.”

“What the hell?” Allegra rolled her eyes. “Whatever what’s the next category?” Masons phone beeped.

“Ok, ladies next up is best dressed.” Erikah let out a huge smile.

“Best dressed? That’s got to be our fashion queen Jen for sure.” Jen gasped loudly.

“Absolutely babes,” added Dax with a sprinkling of salt on her voice.

“Ohmigod, Erkiah that is so so sweet, honest I’m flattered.” Jen walked up to the top of the line.

“I’ll take the bottom,” added Talia adjusting her sunglasses, “I’m always sunning so, I’m always in a bathing suit which isn’t much variety, I guess.” Talia walked to the bottom of the line. Levi stepped forward with the ‘Best Dressed’ sash in hand.

“This one was sort of tough for us considering you’re all beautiful.”

_Suck up…_

“But we did land on gorgeous Jen as the best dressed!” Levi walked over to place the sash around Jen, who threw her arms around him and planted a heavy kiss on his lips. For the first time, Jake noticed Levi didn’t kiss back.

_He wants Dax to see… now that he know’s I’m interested he fucking wants her... This fucking prick._

“And actually, while we were talking, I remembered Dax telling me about her job as a trainee heart surgeon…”

_**You** remembered? Now he’s just trying to rub it in…_

“So, we put her in last because it’s impossible to make scrubs a good look. Though we bet, she gets pretty damn close.” Dax laughed her sweet, curling laughter.

“This is honestly the nicest last place I’ve ever got. I’m honestly touched you remembered.”

“Ok,” Jake announced, “It’s my honour to hand out that sash for the last category of the day. Most Datable.” Talis sighed and scratched her shoulder.

“I think I’m pretty datable, although my luck in here hasn’t always held up.” Allegra stepped forward.

“I’m sorry if we’re going by what’s happened in the villa, then I should be at the top.”

“Ladies, Levi and I are clearly the strongest couple here and the only one that’s made it through multiple recouplings!”

_Jen doesn’t deserve to be so left in the dark. At this point, it’s just brutal. Levi needs to talk to her._

“You’re all wonderful, but just based on what’s happened in here I’m slightly wonderfuller.” Talia stifled a laugh and Jake interrupts.

“Well if you’re ready, the award for most datable goes to Dax!” Dax’s eyes widened in surprise. Levi ran his hand across his abs and hooked his thumb in the top of his swim shorts.

“How could it not be her?” Jake saw Jen look sadly down at her feet, clearly noticing fully for the first time the way Levi was treating Dax. She quietly turned and walked back up to the villa. Dax ran up to the boys, utterly unaware of the sad scene behind her and pulled the boys into a huge group hug.

“Oh,” looked down at her phone, “I’ve got a text!”

****

> **Congratulations to today's winners. Dax because you’re the most datable girl you will get to take a trip outside the villa to stock up on treats for everyone else. You can choose any other islander to accompany you. But first ice lollies! Head up to the kitchen for your group prize. #datesormates #treatsformysweet**

The group ran up to the kitchen to find a huge cooler filled with frozen treats.

“AAAhhh,” Tim climbed up to standing on the kitchen counter, “who wants grape?” Tim opened the chest and started throwing ice lollies to each of the other islanders. The group erupted into cheers and hollering.

“Jeez mate,” Levi reached out and caught one, “gently you’ll break them!”

_Has he even noticed she’s gone?_

Jake walked over to Talia and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Hey, I think someone should go check in on Jen.” Talia turned in a circle surveying the group.

“Oh shit, ok, I’m on it.” Talia grabbed two lollies from the cooler and jogged toward the stairs. Jake turned back to the group to grab a treat from the cooler and was instantly distracted. Dax dragged her lips slowly up and off the cherry flavoured treat. The dye from the lolly had begun staining her mouth and tongue a dark red. Her tongue pulled across her full lips attempting to stop the treat from melting in the hot summer air, but a drop escaped down her chin. Her delicate fingers reached up and wiped the drop from the edge of her mouth. She sucked gently on her finger to eat the melted treat.

_Fuck me…_


	20. Wins and Losses

“Hey soldier,” Dax skipped down the steps into the kitchen, her tight white camisole tied in a delicate knot above her navel. “Sooooo I figured I’d be absolutely off my rocker to take anyone other than the hottest young chef in London on this trip to the market.” She batted her eyelashes and touched him on the arm. “That is if he wants to join me?”

_Of fucking course…_

“Sure, yes, absolutely – let me just change.”

____________________________________________

The market they got to go to was decently sized and clearly well-stocked. From the entrance, Jake could see a beautifully coloured produce section to his right and at least 10 pantry and freezer aisles to the left. As they walked into the store Jake realized for the first time how odd it felt to be outside of the villa. Even after only a few weeks he’d gotten unexpectedly used to seeing the same faces, in the same rooms, day after day. The store felt bright and loud and congested. On top of which, despite living with hidden cameras, he felt somewhat on display in front of the patrons. Aside from all the discomfort Jake couldn’t help but admit…

_Wow, it’s nice to be around food._

Jake walked up behind Dax and grabbed her around the middle. Jake lowered his mouth and kissed her gently behind the ear. He left a small trail of kisses from there down the side of her neck. “I’m glad to get some time with you.” He whispered, squeezing her closer to his body. Dax wriggled up against him. She spun around, still in his arms, and lifted a hand to the side of his face.

“I’m really glad….” Dax quickly slipped down out of his arms and off to the side, “…that one of us knows anything about food.” She stuck her tongue out at him and pulled a trolley from the stack. Her short denim shorts rode up even higher as she climbed into the basket of the trolley and sat cross-legged facing Jake. Jake laughed and, grabbing the handlebar, swung the trolley around in a full circle.

“Ohhh Jake,” Dax erupted into a fit of giggles.

“I figured since you sat on in… you wanted another ride.” Jake winked, turning the trolley toward the open produce section. Dax's mouth dropped open in exaggerated shock.

“Why sir,” Dax pulled her lips into a flirtatious smile. “I don’t think you’re suggesting we take a roll amongst the veg stands.” Jake meandered through the different displays pushing Dax in the trolley for a few minutes.

“So, what exactly are we supposed to be buying?” Dax took her phone from her back pocket and entered the passcode.

“The text just says ‘treats,’” she responded, “so I’m guessing just like snacks or apps for before the recoupling?”

“You’re the one who actually won this prize, what you do want to make?” Dax’s nose crinkled thoughtfully.

“I want to make fancy little tapas, but sweet.” Dax smiled broadly, her dimples pressing into her cheeks, and looked up at Jake. “Like dessert appetizers, to put everyone in a good mood before the recoupling.”

“Yes chef,” Jake responded earnestly, returning her smile and stopping the cart in the aisle to look at one of the fruit displays.

“Chef?” Dax laughed, twisting her hair up into a knot. “I’m pretty sure I brought you here because you’re the chef.”

“Ohhhh, but see that’s where you’re wrong.” Jake raised an eyebrow and stuck out his pointer finger straight at her. “I’ve told you before, it’s the executive chef that sets the menu, which means you’re in charge here gorgeous.” Jake walked to the side of the cart and reached into the display to grab a lemon. He squeezed it gently to test its ripeness and approving of its texture, turned back to the cart. “I’m just here as the sous chef to make your dreams a reality.” He set a hand on the edge of the trolley, and with the other, leaned into it to drop the lemon. On his way down, his lips grazed Dax’s ear. “Plus, I’m pretty sure you brought me here so you could stick it on me in the freezer aisle.” Dax reached out and caught the back of his neck before he could stand. Cupping her hand, she pulled his forehead to hers, allowing her breath to warm his face and her nose to just barely touch his. With her free hand, she pulled on his open palm, setting the soft web between his thumb and forefinger directly over where her neck met her collar bone.

“Well, you've seen right through me…” Her full lips bumped lightly against his as she whispered, sending chills down his spine. Jake swallowed heavily and began to press ever so slowly into the skin just at the base of her neck.

_I knew it, I fucking knew it… she’s…fuck._

Jake squeezed his eyes shut, savouring the feel of her skin and the heat of her breath. She leaned forward into his hand and let out a barely audible hum of pleasure. Dax planted a short kiss on his lips and then released the back of his neck. Jake stood, running a hand through his hair, and blushing red, he immediately turned back to the fruit display.

“I like strawberries,” Dax sang, changing the tone of the moment.

“Right, yes, strawberries.” Jake returned to the handle of the trolley and pushed Dax over to a display of boxed berries. She grabbed a box from the display set it inside the cart next to her. Out of the corner of his eye, Jake spotted a small stack of stunningly purple pomegranates. His eyes lit up as he wheeled Dax and the trolly around the corner of the strawberry display. “Ok, ok, fancy and sweet?” Dax nodded her head, excitedly. “I think I’ve got it, we can do fancy.” Jake grabbed one of the pomegranates and held it up to her. “I could actually roast those strawberries with some pomegranate seeds and then use that mixture to top a goat cheese crostini?” Jake paused, his eyes drifting up in thought. “Honestly, there has to be a whisk in the villa, right? That’s not a rare kitchen tool, so if we’re really going for it, I could do whipped goat cheese with a strawberry syrup, and then roared pomegranate seeds on top of that, and maybe they’ve got thyme?” He dropped his eyes back to her. “Or do you prefer rosemary?”

Dax eyes filled with delight as she began to laugh a full, vigorous laugh. Jake chest began to feel tight and his brows furrowed in concern.

_Fucking idiot, you used the word crostini, you sound like a fucking git…_

“No, no, no,” Dax climbed out from the cart and stood directly in front of him. She placed both her hands on his cheeks. “Jake no, I’m so sorry I’m not laughing at you. I swear. I just wish you’d look at me like you looked at that pomegranate.” She pinched his chin between her thumb and forefinger still giggling. “That’s just the first time I think I’ve seen you so excited about something, you’re normally so even and so steady, but the look in your eyes just now, fire.” She paused. “It surprised me is all, it was like you lost all your inhibitions for a second, it was kind of sexy.” Dax took the pomegranate from his hand and placed it in the cart.

“I mean,” Jake stuttered unsure of how to accept that particular compliment, “who doesn’t get excited about whipped goat cheese?” Jake lifted his hands in a playful shrug.

“You’re so right” Dax smiled, “we should also do something for people who like things more plain. I don’t know if Tim will eat something called a crostini.” Dax pursed her lips. Her eyes lit up as it came to her. “Whipped cream,” she said decidedly. “It’s love island, there isn’t a more perfect snack for people in love than strawberries and whipped cream!”

“It’s perfect.” Jake smiled, moving the few groceries they had into a carrying basket. “I think the goat cheese and the whipped cream will both be in the fridge.”

After grabbing something that resembled a ciabatta, the two headed over to the freezer section, Dax always a step of head pulling Jake behind her. Jake watched as she forged her way forward confidently. What would life be like if he could walk through the world that way, so assured and so hopeful? Being together in such a regular place, doing such a menial task, Jake couldn’t help but let his mind drift to what it would be like if Dax were his on the outside. Would they grocery shop together or would she prefer to be surprised? Would they spend weekends cooking at home or out exploring?

_I’d do anything if she were doing it with me…_

As she pulled a few containers of whipped cream from the fridge, she slid her tongue along her top lip in a naughty smirk. “Hey soldier,” she turned to face him, “would you ever eat whipped cream off someone’s body?”

_Not exactly whipped cream but…_

Jake raised an eyebrow and paused. “Well, I guess, I mean… I don’t – “ Dax squealed.

“Ohmigod. You already have, haven’t you?” Jake mimed closing a zipper across his lips. “JAKE WILSON. You’re are an absolute batch of surprises.” Jake laughed and took the whipped cream from her to put it in the basket.

“I’d imagine that’s more your fault than mine, your assumptions about me are what make new information surprising.” Jake raised both eyebrows shooting her a knowing gaze.

“Ok fine, fine, my assumptions might limit my view of you, **but** , I can’t expand my understanding of you if you don’t answer my questions. So.” She crossed her arms and smiled deliberately. “Have you or have you not eaten whipped cream or other sensual foods off of someone’s naked body?” Jake felt the blood rush to his cheeks.

_Just tell her…_

“Sushi.”

“What?”

“Sushi, I’ve eaten sushi off of someone I was with.” Dax’s eyes glistened with excitement.

“No fucking way, seriously?”

“Being in my industry, I’ve mostly been with other chefs and bartenders and so yes,” Jake laughed and shook his head. “A woman I was with made sushi, and I ate it off of her.” Dax’s eyes blazed with curiosity as Jake continued down the aisle, pretending to look for goat cheese.

“Amazing.” Dax chased after him with a quizzical smile plastered on her face. “And the other day, when you said you prefer leather to feathers… was that a guess or was it fact?”

_Fucking hell…_

Jake shifted his weight between his feet, suddenly unable to find his centre of gravity. His chest and face began to feel warm as Dax cocked her head.

“You know I normally don’t delve into my sexual kinks in the middle of the grocery.” Dax wrinkled her nose and tugged on the end of his shirt. She hooked her finger on the waistband of his slacks and pulled his hips toward her.

“C’mon, I’m dying to know. Plus would you rather talk about it here or back in the villa where any one of those lads could hear?”

_Just tell her, kinks are just part of who you are…_

“Ok fine. But we’re going one for one.” Jake ran his hand through her hair, tucking it behind one ear. “For every question, you ask, I get one back.”

“I’ll take that deal.” Dax gave a small jump and continued walking down the aisle. “So. You’re into leather?” Jake chuckled and followed after her.

“I didn’t say I was into leather, I said I preferred leather to feathers. I have experience with both.”

“Hmmmm both… “ Dax’s eyes sparkled back at him scheming. “So… like sexy leather lingerie or like bondage stuff or sensory play?”

“That’s a separate question. My turn first.” Dax rolled her eyes and grinned.

“Fiiiine.” Jake casually threw his arm around her shoulder. It felt comfortable in a way he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Dax reached up and grabbed his hand.

_You know what you wanna fucking ask mate…_

“So earlier. In the produce. You put my hand near your neck…”

“I may have…” she crooned.

“Is it safe to assume you like breath play or was that just a moment?”

“As long as there’s a chat and a safeword before it starts, I'm into it.” Jake swallowed hard as thoughts of her breath on his neck got him excited.

“Ugh ok, NOW will you tell me what you meant about leather?” Jake looked down and gave Dax a teasing lopsided grin.

“It’s sort of neither. I have… an active imagination.” Dax smirked and lightly drew a few circles on his chest with her fingers. “I like when women I’m with wear leather when we go out because, I mean one, I don’t know what gets into you lot, but it makes women confident as hell, which is so sexy. And two, it generally hugs things sort of just right. It’s like having x-ray vision just for the person you’re with, like a sneak preview of a body I can’t wait to ravage.”

“Mmmmm soldier,” Dax hummed, “I like that answer.” Dax swivelled her hips away from him and reached out into an open cooler. “Goat cheese! What's next?”

“I think there’s some herbs back toward the produce and then we’re done.” Dax handed the goat cheese to Jake. She snuggled up to his side again and replaced his arm around her.

_C’mon mate, ask what you want to know… just fucking ask…_

“My turn, right, so, I hope this isn’t too forward but, are you, I mean do you sometimes like… well when we were talking with Jen about different words for sex, you said –“ Dax interrupted him and stopped short of turning out into the main check-out area.

“Yes.” Jake felt the muscles in his shoulders tense up as he faced her.

“Sorry what?”

“Yes.” Dax slipped her hand around Jake’s and pulled it up to the back of her neck. “I told Jen that I’ve had plenty sex where I give myself over to someone's desires - ” She closed his fist around the hair at the base of her skull. Jake pulled gradually. “ – and I said that because I like bondage and I generally prefer more dominant partners. I also saw the look in your eyes when I told her.”

_Fuck me…_

Jake leaned into her and pressed his lips to hers. He pulled harder on her hair, and Dax let out a discreet moan. Jake pressed himself up against her as she leaned back against the cooler door. Her hands reached out, beginning to explore his skin just under the hem of his shirt.

“Herbs,” she giggled, “we have to get herbs. We’ve been here like 2 hours, and we’ve got like 6 things in this basket.”

_No._

“No, you’re right.” Jake smiled as they continued out into the main check-out area.

____________________________________________

The afternoon has been filled with such isolated bliss Jake completely forgot that the recoupling was that night, but returning to the villa caused reality to set back in. Right when they got back from the store Dax had gone straight to Levi, leaving Jake to make crostini and obsess over thoughts of losing her. Now, waves of nausea passed over him again and again as he overheard the other guys getting ready for the recoupling. Through the pounding in his head, Jake could barely make out single words, let alone full sentences. He sat on a bench on the side of the guys dressing room. Like every other night he was the first ready after putting on his white button-down shirt and simple well-fitted slacks, and, like every other night, he was now stuck listening to endless laddish banter until a text arrived. A hand clasped gruffly onto his shoulder.

“Seemed like you had fun at the market mate, Dax came back raving. Your crackers were pretty fuckin tasty too.” Levi dropped down on the bench next to him. Jake kept his gaze forward and his jaw tight.

_Fucking hell…_

“Yea, no it was definitely nice to get out of the villa.” Jake ran his hand through his hair, still refusing to make eye contact.

“I’m just gonna be straight with you. I get it, Jake. Who wouldn’t want her? She's a fucking stunner and she's wild in the bedroom.” Levi put his hand on Jake's knee. “See the thing is Jakey boy, even though we both want her, she clearly only wants one of us. And I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page about which one of us it is..” Jake pressed his lips firmly together as he felt the veins in his temple pulse.

_Say something, say fucking anything…_

“If you get called up first tonight, I think you should pick someone other than Dax. You had a shot this week and I want a go at her, I think she wants that too. But bruv, I know she sees you as a good mate.” Levi stood up and clapped Jake on the back.

“Have you said anything at all to Jen?”

“I’m sure she knows.”

_This fucking prick…_

____________________________________________

Standing at the firepit, it took everything he had not to absolutely scream. He flexed and clenched his fist back and forth unable to stand fully still. He only found a moment of calm at the approach of an angel in a red dress. She was wearing a silk dress with a tie in front similar to the striking bathing suit she was wearing when he first saw her. The skirt was just long enough to cover her, and a delicate ruffle at the bottom added an innocent air the to otherwise sinful way the silk clung to her body. Half of her long chocolate curls were gracefully pinned behind her head, though a few whisps around her face had managed to escape.

_She’s impeccable._

“Alright ladies, wanted to keep us waiting I guess?” Tim adjusted his open shirt and pulled at the collar nervously. The girls muttered a few faint well-wishes toward each other as they lined up. Miles’s phone beeped.

“Well, here we go.” Miles put a hand in his pocket.

****

> **Islanders, the order for this recoupling will be Miles, Levi, Mason, Rohan, Tim, and finally, Jake.**

_Fuck._

This was it, after everything, Levi was going to get her. Levi was going to keep spouting his lies and treating her like a trophy until there was someone he wanted to play with more. Jake watched silently as Miles, as expected, chose Allegra and simultaneously grossed everyone else out.

_Here it comes…_

Levi’s phone beeped, and he stood up. “Ok, so, I feel like I’ve been waiting a long time to have a chance to say this…” Jake could see both Dax and Jen adjust their posture, their eyes flickering with excitement. “The person I want to couple up with tonight has been a really strong presence in the villa since day one, and I’ve had an amazing time getting to know her.” Jen was holding Erikah’s hand, and she visibly gave it an eager squeeze.

_I can’t fucking watch this…_

Jake looked down at his shoes while Levi continued. “In the last few days, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what I really want, but I wasn’t really sure until today. I saw this girl leave the villa with another man, and my heart absolutely sank.”

_Sure, it was your heart, fucking sure._

Jake looked over at Jen whose lower lip started to quiver as her expression dulled to a dejected stare. Everyone in the villa was holding their breath as Levi took another step forward.

“The person I want to couple up with is Dax.”

Dax curled her lips together before breaking into a beaming smile. She ran up to Levi and threw her arms around his neck as he placed a short kiss on her cheek. Over Dax’s shoulder, Levi caught eyes with Jake and winked.


	21. Déjà Vu

There was a stillness to the air, unlike anything Jake had experienced since being in the villa. Immediately after the recoupling, most of the islanders had fled inside faster than gazelles running from a hungry lion, and with almost that same intensity. The string lights draped from post to post illuminating empty seats and a silent kitchen, while dense clouds turned the night sky into a hazy starless abyss. Levi and Dax were cuddled up on a daybed while Jake sat, staring into the fire with his arm resting along the back of the bench. Jen sat quietly next to him, silent tears reflecting the flames in her eyes.

“It was really lovely… what you said about me.” Jen wiped her nose daintily with the back of her hand. “I know you were last to pick, and I know I was the only option, but that’s one of the nice things about you Jake. You always seem so sincere.”

“I meant it, Jen, truly. I know I was the last to pick, but I’m thrilled to get to be in a couple with you. You are one of the loveliest people I’ve ever had the chance to know.” Jake moved his arm so it rested around Jen’s shoulders, and he gave her a squeeze. “You have been so important to everyone here since the first day here in the villa, and it absolutely wouldn’t be the same without you.” Jen turned to him with a pained but earnest smile.

“Thank you, it’s nice to know there's at least one person who thinks that.” Jen wiped her nose again with the back of her hand and sniffled. A giggle could be heard coming from the day beds, and Jen rolled her eyes, letting out a sharp wounded laugh. “Oh Jake, ugh, I’m so sorry to be such a mess.” Jen rubbed each bottom eyelid with her pointer fingers clearly trying to rub away smudged make-up. “This isn’t the way anyone should be spending their first minutes coupled up with someone new.” Jen rubbed the back of her neck, then rested her chin in her hand.

“Jen, you know this coupling is as friends, and you know I understand what you’re dealing with, please don’t apologize for anything. I really think the way Levi went about things tonight was bang out of order. I’m absolutely sure you’re going to find someone worthy of you who knows your value. And- ” Jake lifted her chin, so they were looking eye to eye. “-I cannot wait to step aside and cheer you on whenever you find him.” Jen smiled and, from his side, gave Jake a warm hug.

“You’re an absolute gem Jake Wilson.” She stood up, flattened the front of her skirt with her hands, and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Do I look alright? I’m going to have a quick chat with Levi about all this, and I just, I don’t want to look all messed up.” Jen turned in a circle holding her hands out to her sides.

“You look wonderful.” Jen’s lower lip trembled, and she took a deep breath. “You know Jen, sometimes when I feel really overwhelmed, I count to three slowly in my head. Just taking a moment like that really clears my mind and helps me make sure I say what I mean.” Jen reached down and touched his shoulder.

“Thanks babes, that’s good advice,” she smiled weakly and pumped both fists towards the ground. “Ok, here I go.” Jen took a few steps forward and then looked back over her shoulder. “Oh and Jake I’m fine to share tonight if that’s fine with you, no need to sleep outside or on the couch, we’ll be fine you and I.” She turned back forward and marched on toward the day beds. Jake leaned back, letting his head rest on the back of the bench as he looked up to the sky. Overcome with a sense of need, Jake hopped up and jogged up to the bedroom, passing a tense conversation between Jen and Levi as he ran. Running into the bedroom, Jake felt as if he’d crashed into a vivid alternate universe. Mason and Tim jumped between beds tossing pillows and blankets across the room, and Erikah and Talia giggled sitting next to each other on a bed in the far corner. Miles and Allegra were already heating things up, and just for a moment, the air returned to Jake’s lungs.

Jake jogged over to his suitcase and dug around, feeling for any indication of his notebook. Upon finding it, he quickly tucked it under his arm and powered through the door to the girls dressing room heading for the roof terrace. His feet cemented themselves to the floor and his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he saw her. If he’d thought the dress she wore earlier in the night was sinful, in what she had on now, they’d both go straight to hell. A translucent black bra lifted her perfect breasts to the height of their fullness while matching black lace delicately clung around her hips and between her legs. She wore a blue silk robe over the underwear set with one side hanging seductively off her shoulder in the crook of her elbow.

_OH my god, fuck me, jeez, fuck…_

Every bit of him that had been restored by the playful energy in the bedroom was ruined as a singular thought crossed his mind.

_She chose this for her first night with Levi._

“Do I look alright?” Her forehead creased as she turned to reassess herself in the mirrored closet door. “It’s too much, isn’t it.”

“No, I mean, you look…” Jake let out a heavy sigh. “You look flawless.” Jake looked down at the floor, unable to make eye contact any longer.

“Thank you.” She paused. “And not just for the compliment. For, well, everything. Being there when I was so down - when I felt so unwanted. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, supporting me the way you have. I trust you, and I care for you so much, you know that, right?” Suddenly aware of herself, she pulled her robe closed around her. “I just, I have to see this through, you know? I’ve been wondering what it would be like with him for so long, and well – “ Jake interrupted her, sadness clouding his voice.

“I get it, Dax. You don’t have to explain yourself. That night you made it clear that us being physical didn’t mean anything more than that, I get it.” Jake swallowed hard. “I hope you have a good night.” Without another word, he walked past her onto the roof terrace, gasping for the fresh night air. Sitting on the bench, he opened his journal and began to write.

_I could dream of you forever,  
But it wouldn't put me beside you.  
I could call your name on end,  
But you'll never hear me.  
I could write a hundred poems,  
But you would never understand.  
I could lie to myself,  
But lying exhausts the soul.  
I could give up on you,  
_ _But if you came to me with a face I’d never seen, with some voice I’d never heard, I would still know it was you._

_Even if decades separated us, I could still feel you. Somewhere between the sky and the dark, through every second of creation, there is a pulse that echoes you and I._

“What’s my favourite romantic doing all alone out here?” Talia’s honeyed voice spilt through the terrace door.

“Oh, you know, just pining – “ Talia laughed and sat down next to him. “Honestly, I’m just sitting here trying to decide if it would be worse to sleep in my clothes right here on the bench or go inside and have to hear her with him, knowing she fucking looks like that…” Jake gestured back to the door as Talia put an arm around his broad shoulders.

“My sweet lad. Just be patient.” Jake rested his head on her shoulder. “Dax is confused. I know she likes you, I know she likes you a lot. She’s the first to speak up if someone calls you quiet, and she voted for you for fittest and most datable. This Levi thing is just, I don’t know Jake, she really wants him to want her.”

“Tals, this is the exit ramp. I need you to tell me if I’m crazy, I need you to tell me if I don’t have a chance.” Jake leaned forward, dropping his head into his hands. “Because if I don't stop this train right now, I'm going to fall in love with her. And right now it feels a hell of a lot like I’m falling in love with a girl who just got into bed, in her best lingerie, with another man.”

_Jeez, fuck… I don’t want to know… fuck but I do want to know._

Talia placed her palm on his back and rubbed smooth, comforting circles. “Jake, do you want me to answer that in the way I think is best for you or do you want the truth?” Jake looked up at her, his eyes desperate.

“The truth Talia.”

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you, I think you still have a chance.”

____________________________________________

“Jake…” Jake felt a hand shaking his shoulder. “Hey, Jakey-boy…” The shaking became more vigorous.

“What, jeez, what?” Jake opened his eyes to see Tim leaning over him.

_Fucking hell it must be 4 am..._

“Dax heard something out on the terrace and went to check what it was, I told her I’d come up but figured I’d get someone bigger than me in case it was a robber or a mountain lion.”

“Tim, go back to sleep, there’s like 10 producers on-site next door and a security team. There's no robber.” Tim shoved him in the arm, this time harder.

“C’mon mate, she’s not crazy there was definitely noise, what’re you gonna leave Dax and me to fight the leopard that’s attacking our terrace.”

_Fucking hell Tim…_

“Alright, alright, fuck.” Jake rubbed his eyes as Jen rolled over to face them.

“What’s going on?” Jen asked blearily.

“Nothing,” Jake replied. “Go back to sleep, Tim is overreacting about noise on the terrace.”

“Ok, let’s be clear. Dax overacted first and – “

“Shut up Tim, let’s go.” Jake shoved Tim out of the way and headed toward the roof terrace, and as they got closer, he could hear shouting.

“What the fuck are you trying to say exactly?” Dax shouted. “Honestly, from where I’m standing, you two are the worst people in the villa. Are you kidding me?”

“Mia, you have to believe us.”

_Is that Cherry?_

Jake and Tim looked at each other, clearly sharing that question, and rushed forward to the terrace door.

“I don’t have to do anything,” spat Dax.

Tim burst through the door ahead of Jake. “Right, I’m coming out here to lay down the law.” Jake looked out over the terrace. Cherry stood, looking guilty, next to Levi, who looked fuming. “What the hell is going on here?” Tim continued. Levi tossed a biting glare at Tim, his brows deeply furrowed.

“Shut up and go back inside Tim.”

_What the fuck?_

“No, no, stay please," Dax gave an exaggerated wave gesturing toward the terrace benches. "I’ll happily explain what’s going on here. Literally, hours ago Levi was fucking beside himself to get his cock in my mouth immediately after dumping Jen-”

_Shit Dax, we’re on TV…_

“-and it just got him so excited, that he decided while I was asleep, he’d come up here and continue the party by snogging Cherry.” Rage glowed in her eyes as all the colour drained from Cherry’s face.

_No fucking way, and now… holy shit…why?_

“Levi, what the hell are you playing at here?” Tim crossed his arms and glowered toward Levi. Jake could see the fury in Dax’s eyes and the quivering of her chin.

_I have to get her out of here before she says something she regrets…_

Jake stepped forward his arms spread out wide. “Ok, everyone, listen up. Obviously, this is confusing for everyone involved, but it is the middle of the night.” Jake took a step toward Dax and gently placed a hand on her arm. “I don’t know exactly what happened, or what’s going on, but I think we need to go back inside or go back to bed before this gets out of hand.” Jake looked pleadingly at Dax. He could see her chest rising and falling rapidly as her breath got away from her, and wrath faded into sorrow. Jake slid his hand around her shoulders and motioned gently toward the door. Dax looked up at him and in silent panic nodded her head, her eyes welling up with tears.

“I’ll talk to you about all this in the morning Dax.” Levi pushed past Jake and Dax making a path for Cherry who walked in front of him. Jake reached out and grabbed Levi on the arm squeezing tighter and tighter.

“Mate, really? After everything? I’m fucking disappointed.” Levi turned to Jake, his eyes wild.

“Get your hand off me, Wilson.” Jake dropped his hold on Levi, who turned to guide Cherry back into the bedroom. Jake turned back to Tim and Dax.

“This is fucking mad.” Tim ran his hand along the side of his hair. “I’m going to go back to bed, but, Dax, I’m really sorry about all of this. We’ll figure it all out in the morning ok.” Tim pulled Dax into an uncharacteristically gentle hug and then wandered off back toward the bedroom. Dax dropped down onto the terrace bench, breathing heavily and holding tightly to her stomach.

“I just… I just…. I….” her eyes darted back and forth along the ground as her delicate chest rose and sunk furiously. “After everything that he said, after hurting Jen, fuck, after making me part of hurting Jen...” Dax obviously couldn’t catch her breath and was on the verge of panic. Jake sunk to his knees in front of her and took her face in his hands. Her entire body was shaking, and every muscle in her chest and neck was taut.

“Dax look at me, c’mon, look at me.” Dax raised her eyes to meet Jake. “Trust me, ok.” Dax nodded soundlessly, and he gently caressed the side of her face. “You have to control your breathing.” He moved to sit on the bench next to her and pulled her to his chest wrapping his strong arms around her “Do me a favour, list three things you can see.”

“Your arm, the brown benches, that pink pillow.”

“Ok, deep breath, now two things you can smell.”

“Your cologne, the roses.”

“Another deep breath. Now tell me something you can hear.”

“Your heartbeat.” Dax pressed her head harder into his chest.

"Ok, focus on that rhythm."

_Slow your own rate mate, 1...2...3..._

Jake could feel the speed of Dax's breathing slow down as she tightened her grip around his arm. He stroked her hair and leaned his cheek on the top of her head. “You’re going to be ok, Dax. I don’t know the full story, but whatever it is, you’re clearly in the right. And we will all be here to support you.”

Dax sat up and looked deep into Jake’s eyes. “How is it that whenever it feels like everything is crumbling, your arms feel like the only stable place in the world.” Dax leaned in toward Jake and pressed her lips firmly against his. Jake kissed her back, but as guilt started to creep up through his stomach, he pushed her away.

“Woah Dax, I feel like, I not trying to be some lad who swoops in, you're dealing with a lot right now and I don't think, I mean I just –“ Dax interrupted him.

“I feel devastated and confused and angry. And I know if I walk into that room and try to go to bed, I’m going to stare at the ceiling feeling powerless until sunrise.” Dax rubbed her hand up Jake’s thigh, ultimately placing her hand directly between his legs. “And so, if I’m going to feel powerless, I want to enjoy it.” Her deft fingers began to unclasp his belt. “I want you to fuck me, Jake. I want you right now, so that for as long as possible, being powerless is my choice, and the only thing I can think about is how you feel inside me.” For just a moment Jake couldn’t breathe, what the fuck was he supposed to do.

_You’re supposed to turn her down, you’re supposed to just be supportive._

“I feel vulnerable, and exposed – I feel lied to and confused, and I’m asking you please as a friend, help me ignore all that, you know how good it’s going to feel.” Dax continued to undo his slacks, her hands cold against his skin. She stood up and let her robe fall to the ground.

_How the fuck do I say no to her…I can’t… I don’t want to..._

Jake stood up and in one swift motion, lifted Dax up off the ground. She wrapped her legs around him as he turned to lay her on her back at the edge of the bench. He pulled away from her for a moment to gaze at her body, still scantily clad in black lingerie. A deep groan escaped the back of Jake’s throat as he lowered himself on top of her. Hovering just above her, his massive arms bulged, and he leaned toward her ear.

“Do not make a sound other than to answer me directly or confirm you understand me. Are we clear?” Jake’s heart rate began to increase, and he could feel his excitement growing.

“Yes.” Jake moved one of his hands to the inside of her thigh and grazed his nails slowly along her tender skin.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.” Jake could feel her body starting to quiver. He brought his mouth to her chest and traced a long line of kisses and bites down toward her hips. Her body twitched with pleasure at each kiss and nibble. Her hands clasped onto his shoulders as he moved lower and lower down her body. He lowered himself onto his knees and placed a firm hand inside each of her knees, spreading her legs. Jake reached out to touch her, swirling his finger in intricate patterns over her underwear just where he thought she would be most sensitive. He began to press harder and harder until a faint squeak escaped her lips. He immediately removed his hand from her growing wetness and stood to lean over her again.

“Now now,” he whispered his lips brushing against hers as he spoke. “Not a sound remember, I don’t want to have to punish you for disobeying.” Dax looked up at him; her eyes glowing with arousal. She bit down on her bottom lip and nodded before subtly parting her lips and wetting them with her tongue. Jake resumed his position between her legs as he hooked his thumbs up and under the delicate lace still clinging to her body. He steadily and deliberately pulled them down her legs, kissing along her thighs as he went.

_I can’t wait to taste her..._

Jake reached up and spread her lips with his fingers. Twirling his thumb above her clit, he could feel her adjusting her hips to control her growing pleasure. He began to tease her, gently pressing his forefinger barely into her until he could hear her breathing getting heavier. He brought his mouth to her crest and curled his fingers deep inside her. He wanted to enjoy himself and make her writhe with anticipation, so he drew delicate lines with his tongue along the outside of her lips as his fingers danced within her. Slowly his mouth made it's way inward leaving a tantalizing trail of hot breath along her most sensitive skin. His tongue spun circles around her, playing with rapidly changing tempo and pressure. As he felt her knees begin to squeeze around his shoulders, he pressed his tongue flat up agast her hoping to draw out a long, intense sensation that opposed the light flicks and circles he’d been creating moments before. Dax drew a sharp breath in and arched her back, pressing her hips into him. Jake pulled back immediately and crawled once again on top of her, leaning his mouth to her ear.

“Do not come until I give you permission.”

“Mmmmm,” Dax whined, short of breath, “Yes, sir.”

“I am nowhere near done with you. I could spend the whole night learning your body and making you silently beg for release. I could make you wait until I know every freckle, every scar, every curve of your skin. I could make you wait until I knew enough to ravage you blindfolded.” Jake threaded his arm underneath her to unhook her bra. After he did, he traced a finger slowly along her collarbone and then down each shoulder, removing the garment in the process. He took her breast in his hand and brought his mouth to it, twirling his tongue around it and sucking gently until he felt her nipple harden. A second moan escaped Dax’s lips.

“Tsk, tsk,” Jake hummed into her sternum, “and I thought you were going to be good for me.” Jake looked up at her, her eyes twinkled with frenzied desire. “Tell me, right now, your body is mine correct?”

“Yes…sir” Dax swallowed hard and grabbed a clump of his shirt in her fist.

“And I can use it for my own pleasure?”

“Yes, please, sir.”

Jake reached down to the back of her neck and grasped the hair at the base of her skull. He pulled her up to sitting and took a moment to suck on the tender spot below her ear. “How do you want me to use you?”

“Please, fuck me, please,” she whined, her voice weak. Jake removed his clothes and put on a condom, her eyes never leaving his body. As he sat down on the bench next to her, he pulled her into his lap, holding her up by her ass her just inches above him. Her hands shot around his neck and wove their way into his hair as he teased her opening with the head of his cock. Jake could feel her shaking.

_Fuck I can’t take it any more._

He dropped her body down onto him her tightness sending waves of pleasure through his entire body. The pair grasped each other, both catching their breath as they gave in to what they really wanted. Dax began to roll her hips up and down as she dug her nails into his scalp and shoulders. The pair moved in unison increasing their speed until she began to beg.

“Please sir, please let me come, I can’t take any more.” Jake could feel her throbbing around him.

_Fuck I’m not going to last…fuck…._

“Go ahead.” Dax released the full weight of her body into her rolling hips. Her arms wrapped tighter around him as her breathing became uneven. In an instant, Jake could feel every muscle in her body tense around him as she climaxed. Jake wanted to worship her, wanted her to revel in the pleasure, but his body, so close to the edge, took charge of his next move. In a swift motion, he laid her on her back again, this time pressing her knees to her chest and resting her ankles over his shoulders. He reached forward grabbing fiercely at her waist as he pushed himself into her again and again, wild grunts rising from his mouth with each thrust. He could feel her pulse around him again, and warmth began to radiate from his core through every part of his body. All at once, as she came again, every one of his nerves was struck by paralyzing lightning.

_Fuuuuuck._

“Oh, Jake fuck.” she purred as she restored her legs around his waist. He collapsed on top of her, being careful not to let his full weight onto her chest. For just a moment feeling her body underneath him and feeling her fingers tracing delicate lines along his shoulders, everything seemed perfect. Then they both redressed and wandered back inside where memories of reality came crashing back into his mind. Jake watched Dax climb into bed with Levi as he curled up next to Jen.

_Fuck, tomorrow is going to be weird._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poetry adapted from "I Could" by Chris Lea and "Stardust" Lang Leve


	22. Things Unsaid

“It’s absolutely mad bruv.” Mason was sitting on the weight bench, dripping with sweat, and curling a weight with his right arm. “Like, here I was thinking Levi and I were fucking mates, that he was so into Dax, and now this.” He grunted to finish his motion before dropping the weight to the ground. “I don't know how I didn't expect this shit from Levi, he wasn’t fooling anyone with his deep thinker act, and we all knew he just wanted Dax once everyone wanted her, but fuck, Cherry always just seemed so straight forward.” Rohan was across from Mason on the pull-up bar, and Jake powered through crunches on the ground next to them. Rohan dropped down onto his feet and took a step toward Mason.

“Yea, I agree. She does seem really honest, which honestly with all the rumours going around – I’m tempted to believe she’s telling the truth about not wanting to snake Levi from Dax.” Rohan dropped down to sit on the ground, crossing an arm in front of him and pulling it into a stretch. “She’s just doesn’t seem like that type, or the type who really thinks a ton before she talks. If she wanted Levi, she would’ve just basically told everyone right?”

Every muscle in Jake’s body screamed as he pushed himself to continue crunching. From what he’d seen, Dax had spent the morning talking to every other islander about who’d seen what last night, but, she’d avoided him entirely. He didn’t really care how it happened, he didn’t care if Cherry wanted Levi, he didn’t care if Levi wanted Cherry. The only thing he cared about was what Dax wanted and what last night meant moving forward. But of course, how exactly does one bring up the question ‘What does last night’s angry revenge sex mean for us moving forward?’ And so, he crunched. 

“I honestly, like, as far as Cherry goes. I get it – I mean I do sort of wish it hadn’t been behind my back in the middle of the night but, I don’t know. She’s such fucking fun, so damn flexible,” Mason bit his lip, “but her and I were never going to be more than physical. We both knew that; she’s basically said as much to me.” Mason stood up from the weight bench to place a bar on the bench press rack. “But like, I’m fucking steamed that Levi, fucker, got Dax, got her bent around his finger, and then goes and gets off with my bird behind my back?” Mason slammed a weight onto the end of the bar which produced a loud crack as it collided with the weight already slid on. “Did he just want the satisfaction of knowing he could have them both? Like, what’s his fucking game here?”

_That is exactly his game, fucking prick._

Mason walked to the other side to balance the bar and turned to Rohan. “Spot me bruv?”

“Yeah, sure.” Rohan stood up and walked behind the weight bench as Mason sat down. “So, um, you and Cherry are probably done then?” Rohan cleared his throat nervously, his pitch getting slightly higher than before. 

_Aw mate…_

Mason’s full chest expanded as he laughed. “Yea, I think so," he paused. You interested?” He grunted as he lifted the bar off the rack and slowly lowered it to his chest. Jake finally let up on crunches and relaxed spread eagle on the ground. He lifted his head to look at Rohan.

“I thought you and Erikah were doing well, has that changed?”

“No, it hasn’t, she was well chuffed last night that I’d picked her and was really… um…appreciative.” Mason let out an entertained whoop as Rohan flushed beet red.

“My boy…” Mason grunted and pushed the bar up again. “Damn y’all were quiet…” Jake smiled and sat up.

“So what's this about Cherry?”

“Well, it’s just. Everything seems good with Erikah, but I can’t shake the feeling that she’s not being real with me. Like she’s saying just the right things to keep me around, but none of it is what she actually feels?” He shook his head. “I’m going to keep at it because I like her and I want to be sure, but honestly, thinking about how straightforward Cherry usually is, seems refreshing.”

_Something straightforward seems fantastic right now…_

With Rohan’s help, Mason set the bar on the rack and sat up. “Look, Ro. Erikah is a great girl, but at the end of the day, just like with Cherry and me, if it’s not there - it’s not there. This is Love fucking Island. So if there’s a chance you could be happier you’ve got to take it bruv, just make sure you’re honest with everyone along the way.” Mason clasped one hand on Rohan’s shoulder and offered the other for a laddish handshake. “Alright boys, thanks for the help blowing off some steam. I’m going to go check in with Dax, I want to get the story from her before Cherry and Levi get back. Try and figure out what I’m gonna say to them, you know?” Mason hopped up and jogged up the stairs out of the gym.

“You’ve been awfully quiet this morning.” Rohan sat at the end of the bench and smiled at Jake. “How’re things with you, since I imagine things are more friendly with Jen?” Jake ran his hand through his hair.

_You can trust Rohan, just trust him…_

“Well,” Jake cleared his throat into his fist. “I don’t know, I’m sort of… well I mean. Fuck.” Jake looked up at Rohan. “I’m falling in love with Dax. I can talk to her about anything, which feels crazy because I rarely want to tell most people anything, and I don’t ever think I’ve met a girl that made me laugh like she does. I’m pretty sure she only sees me as a friend, though.” Rohan’s eyes went wide and brought his hand to his mouth. “And with all this Levi crap, seeing her so hurt, and not being able to do anything. It just, it all feels pretty grim, and I just don’t know if I have it in me.”

“Shit mate. I knew you guys spent a lot of time together but I had no idea you ...” Rohan dropped down onto the end of the weight bench, his eyes still wide. “Ok, I’m not trying to be a dick about anything, really, but… have you said anything to her?” Jake rolled his eyes, raised his eyebrows, and gave Rohan a knowing look. “Ok. No. You're the shyest mate I've ever had. You obviously haven’t admitted to Dax you like her.”

“What’s the damn point?” Jake let his head fall into his hands. “Half the villa is after her and she’s been cheated on in the last 24 hours – when exactly would you suggest is the right time?” Rohan slid off the weight bench and moved next to Jake on the ground.

“The next time you feel it mate.” He pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and bumped his shoulder into Jake’s. “I think of you as my best mate in here Jake, you’re the only one that doesn’t make me feel like some dumb kid tagging along with the big guys. And the reason you don’t make me feel that way is that you’re careful about what you say. You really think about how what you say will affect everyone around you.” Rohan looked back up at Jake. “But you also keep so much to yourself, and sometimes, you have to take a chance on letting some of it out? Constantly choosing silence means you can end up ignoring important things that should be said, like maybe 'oh hi, good morning Dax, by the way, I'm in love with you.”

“How do you do it? I love you mate, but you just, you seem so comfortable talking to everyone, confiding in everyone? I mean just now all the stuff about Erikah, like, I never could’ve said all that in front of Mason, but you did. And as a result, he actually gave you decent advice.”

“I wasn’t always like this.” Rohan’s eyes dipped down. “My family didn’t move to England until I was around 10. And mate, I was so upset. I loved living in India, I loved my school, I loved being near our family, I loved the heat.” Rohan adjusted his seating to face Jake. “My first day of school, one of the other kids in my class started calling me Zoltar because he saw my dad drop me off wearing his dastar. Honestly, nice enough kid, also 10 years old, so, I don’t think he had any clue how racist that kind of was. And because I figured he didn’t have ill intent and I didn’t want to rock the boat, I let him. I wanted so badly to make sure I made friends, that years went by, literally years. People, teachers even, didn’t know my real name because everyone just called me fucking Zoltar, and I hated it.” Rohan shook his head and chuckled. “That same kid and I eventually played on the football team together. On the first day of practice, I decided I was going to tell him how much I hated it. I explained why my father wore a turban and what it meant to our culture, and he apologized. He actually asked if there were any YouTubers I knew who could talk more about Sikhism.” Rohan stood up and grabbed his water bottle. “I know there are so many different kinds of hard conversations that it would be so much easier not to have. Right, because like I get the fear, not all hard conversation end as easily as mine did. In fact, so few do. But it’s really important to have them. I spent so long worrying about how he was going to react, I didn’t respect what I needed and what I was feeling. See the parallel here, mate?” Jake stood up, smiling and rolling his eyes.

“I feel like I’m getting schooled by my little brother.”

“Well, I can’t help that I’m very, very wise.” Rohan crossed his arm over his body and gave a larger-than-life bow. “Just tell her, respect your own feelings and just be honest with her – then we’ll deal with whatever comes next.” Rohan reached out pulled Jake into a massive hug. “Plus, after all this crap with Levi if she can’t see what a man you are, she’s blind.”

“I don’t want to think about her getting back with Levi. I know it’s possible, but I just can’t.”

“Don’t think about it then, you could distract yourself by making my lunch.” Rohan raised both eyebrows and cocked his head toward the kitchen.

____________________________________________

Jake looked out over the picturesque Spanish vista. The sun was high in the afternoon sky creating an every morphing mirage over the rolling hills in the distance. As he sliced through an orange the fragrant sticky juice ran down over his fingers, and just for a moment, he felt still. Being in the kitchen, any kitchen, felt like home. He mulled over how to try and elevate the simple greens offered by the Villa pantry and began digging through the small assortment of spices.

“So, about last night…” a familiar voice landed in his ears. Jake looked up and caught her eyes.

“Here I was thinking you were avoiding me." He paused. "I did really hope we could chat about last night. I know you probably have no clue about where you are with Levi, but I guess just, about us…” Dax cut him off.

“I **was** avoiding you, I’m sorry. I just, there was a lot to process, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about how I handled everything in the moment and … I know we I asked a lot of you… and I think, it’s just” she pursed her lips and looked down, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. Jake set the spices he was holding on the counter and rushed around the island to her. Pulling her into a hug he whispered,

“It’s ok, I’m still not sure I believe it all really happened, and then them going on the date after everything he promised you.” He stroked the back of her hair. “It’s ok for you not to know how you’re feeling right now as long as you know none of this is your fault.” She took a deep breath into his chest and then pulled away, leaning back to sit on one of the bar stools.

“I don’t think I’ll have much of an appetite for whatever they cook later.” She reached back twisting her long hair into a rope and tossing it behind her. “I just feel so uncomfortable about it, I’m having this weird reaction where it feels like I’ve been walking around in skin that isn’t my own all day.” She rubbed her palm back and forth over her eyes. “I feel like such an idiot, how could I think that he wouldn’t do to me exactly what he did to Jen? How does it hurt so much when I should’ve known?” Jake sat down on the stool opposite her.

“Do not feel dumb for feeling hurt. You were kind and open and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I would be hurt too.” Jake rubbed both hands on his knees. “I’m not proud to admit it, but I had an ex I cheated on. It all came out square, I guess, because she cheated on me too, but I was devastated. I knew the relationship was seriously flawed, I even knew she had a good reason to cheat, and it still hurt like hell.” Jake reached out and took her hand in his. “You deserve none of this.”

_Why bring that up, mate? Just… why?_

“Woah,” Dax blinked a few times and furrowed her brow. “I remember now you stood up during that game on the first day, but like, I don’t know why I have the hardest time imagining you cheating.” Jake’s eyes got serious as he squeezed her hand lightly.

“Don’t let it change your opinion of me. I was a completely different person about ten years ago, and not one I ever want to be again.”

“What happened?”

“It’s not, I mean basically just that…”

_Shit… this was not the conversation I was hoping we’d have…_

“Hold yourself up to the light, remember? Your words, not mine. I was sleeping with a married man for two years, and you listened about it and treated me with kindness. Whatever happened, you’ll still be my soldier, and we’ll know each other better for it.” She rubbed the outside of his forearm. “Plus, you’d be helping me not think about Levi.”

_Fuck…_

“So…” Jake swallowed as his heart began to race. “It’s not something I chat about a ton, but I am actually in recovery. I had a pretty serious problem with party drugs and cocaine when I first got into restaurants because I was 19 and bored.” Dax’s soft expression held steady, if she was judging him, it wasn’t showing on her face.

_This is not going to make you look better than Levi, idiot…_

“Fuck,” she moved her hand into his. “Um, basically I had a wonderful person in my life who told me to get help, and I didn’t want to. At the time she was the person I thought I’d spend my life with, but, she was also not into my lifestyle at the time.” Jake could feel the beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. “I ended up cheating a lot, with people I’d go out with. And I told myself it was fine because the sex didn’t mean anything, but, obviously it was still cheating. We were both clinging to a relationship that didn’t really exist anymore because I wouldn’t get help. She, rightfully, didn’t feel like it was her responsibility to just watch as I made countless dangerous decisions. So. Yea, we were both cheating, she caught me first, and then I caught her, and then it was over.” Dax’s expression remained calm.

“No one makes every right choice at 19, or even at 25,” she smiled sadly and put a hand on his heart. “So what’s your lifestyle like now?” Her touch, which before had been so desired and exciting, felt heavy. As if now that she knew him, really knew him, her touch held the weight of everything he wanted to tell her jammed inside her very skin and bones. Jake stood up and walked back around the island.

“Clean, sober from everything but whiskey and cigars for 9 years.” He squeezed the orange slices into the container of dressing he’d previously been mixing. Silence sat between them as Jake worked, utterly unsure of what to say next.

“Is there something on your mind Jake?” Dax’s nose crinkled in concern.

_Just madly in love with you. No big deal, really, solve all the other problems on your plate first._

“No, I mean, just curious about if you’d figured out any more about what the hell actually went on last night?” Dax rubbed her fingertips on her temple.

“I have no idea, and Cherry and Levi left so fast this morning, I still haven’t even gotten to talk about it with him. Honestly last night he was acting like **I** was the one being snakey and so, I’m just really baffled. I’ve tried to make it so clear he’s the person I wanted to be coupled with and I just don’t know what I did wrong?”

“Well, I do really hope the rest of today plays out in whatever way you hope for. We all really care about you Dax, and none of this makes sense.” Jake finished his salad dressing and drizzled a heaping spoonful over the greens and veggies he’d previously cut. He stabbed through a large bite, offering it out to Dax. “Here try this.” Dax leaned her wide-open mouth forward, her tongue dangling out playfully. Jake steered the fork to her as she bit down and moaned. 

“Oh, wow, that’s amazing.” She said, covering her mouth with her hand as she chewed. “Fuck, is there and an extra portion of that?”

“For you, anything.” Jake smiled as he grabbed a second fork from the drawer below where he stood. “Any chance you’ll join me on the day beds for lunch? Nothing takes the edge off of a bad day like good food.”

_Rohan is going to be pissed but…. he’ll understand, right?_

“Absolutely, 100%.” Dax smiled as Jake realized, it was the first time in days he’d gotten to see her dimples. The pair walked over to the day beds. Crashing down on the plush mattress seemed to release all the tensions Jake had held since the night before. The world seemed to melt away as a shared salad turned into laughter and shared stories, while her soothing voice and spellbinding eyes obscured all thoughts of Levi. Hours passed, and neither of them really seemed to notice, until Tim’s voice rang out.

“I GOT A TEXT!”


	23. Dinner

“Alright losers. You guys are all going to take turns sitting on top of these tanks of ice-cold water.” Allegra spoke with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “On top of the tanks are two buttons. One says dunk and the other, save. People will go up two at a time, and choose what happens on the other person’s platform!” She rubbed her hands together, her lips curling into an excited smirk. Miles threw his arm casually around her shoulders.

“Either they get dunked in the water, or they don’t, and it’s all up to you.” He held up the challenge card, “the first couple to take the test is Erikah and Rohan!” Jake had to admit he was thrilled. He’d seen these sorts of games in moves and TV shows where American high schools would have carnivals with dunk tanks.

_Ohhh sweet, I’ve always wanted to try this…_

Jake looked around the group expecting to see enthusiasm from some of the other islanders, but the air felt lifeless and tense. As Erikah and Rohan made their way up onto the platforms each islander back on the deck looked more distressed than the next. Jen was staring down at her feet, her eyes dusky, and Cherry was biting her nails. Levi’s stood next to them his brows furrowed in frustration. Jake’s eyes drifted to Dax, her toned stomach and bronze skin on full display under her black fishnet bathing suit, but just like all the others, her energy was off. A splash turned his attention back to the pools.

_Oh fuck, she dunked him._

“Erikah, ahhh, how could you do this to me?” Rohan shook his head, sending water flying from his hair. Ecstatic laughter filled the air as Rohan pulled himself out of the water, shivering fiercely as he climbed down the ladder. It was a long moment before Jake realized the laughter he'd heard was his own. His eyes connected with Rohan’s who’s expression gave him clear permission to continue laughing. Jake felt a tension in his shoulders he hadn’t realized was there completely dissolve away.

“Sorry babes,” Erikah smiled coyly, “I guess my finger must’ve slipped.” She climbed down from the platform. It was obvious that she’d enjoyed the power of dropping Rohan into the chilly pool, and Jake started to feel a tingling in his hands and feet. He desperately needed a break. He needed to take time to stop worrying about Dax or being angry at Levi. Feeling how therapeutic just laughing at this simple challenge was he realized how much of himself he'd been giving to others.

_Today I’m just going to have some fun, like Rohan said, prioritize my own feelings._

“Oi, mates, next up is Dax and Levi,” Miles chuckled to himself. Allegra pursed her lips and turned her piercing eyes to Dax.

“This should be interesting,” she said, looking Dax up and down condescendingly.

_If I could fucking dunk him._

Jake chuckled to himself as Dax and Levi climbed up onto their respective platforms. Even with his newfound desire to take the day less seriously, the prominent creases between her eyebrows and the way her nostrils flared tugged at his heart. Levi looked directly at her for the first time since they’d all arrived at the deck. Jake could see his mouth moving but couldn’t make out what he was saying. Dax turned to face Allegra and Miles.

“Can we, let’s just get the over with yea?” Dax and Levi looked down, both hastily pressing a button in front of them. The islanders held their breath in almost perfect unison.

“I pushed dunk, Levi. Just. So, you know.” Dax spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, her face completely expressionless. Miles stepped in front of the group again.

“Well, they’ve both made their decisions, 3! 2! 1!” Levi yelped as the platform dropped out from underneath him and he splashed into the water. Dax climbed down from her platform without a word, but with a satisfied shine in her eyes. She returned to the line sliding between Jake and Talia. Jake reached out and placed his hand in the small of her back, leaning to whisper in her ear.

“The night you let Miles sleep in your bed, you said you thought you’d look good on the high road.” He dropped his hand, grazing her soft curves. “But I don’t know, the look in your eyes right now is pretty sexy…” Dax turned to him and biting the corner of her lip whispered back,

“It felt really fucking satisfying.”

“…Jen and Jake!” Jake winked at Dax as his name was called.

Jake climbed up onto the platform and scooted forward, so he was sitting neatly on the edge. He looked down at the buttons in front of him.

_Fucking hell, of course, I’m itching to dunk someone, and my match-up is Jen._

He drifted his hands a few inches above the buttons, his heart racing and his head completely torn.

_She’s not that posh right… she’ll think it’s fun…_

Jake knew he was lying to himself but looked back at Dax, who was silently mouthing the words’ _so satisfying.’_ He slammed his palm down on the ‘ _dunk’_ button and looked over at Jen, who was smiling back at him. Miles and Allegra counted down to Jen crashing into the tank as Jake sat still and dry on the opposite platform.

_Shit…_

“Ugh, dude!” Jen popped out of the water blinking her eyes wide and gasping for air “Why did you do that? This is all about trust; we’re supposed to have each other’s backs, I thought we were friends.

_Jeez…_

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help myself.” Jake laughed heartily, “You can trust me with real stuff but never with a dunk tank.” The islanders cheered as Jake climbed off his platform. Jen shivered her way across the deck to Miles, who was extending a towel in her direction. Talia and Tim were next, both pretending they’d save each other and eventually plummeting into the tanks. Erikah and Dax had an awkward moment as Erikah sent her flying into a frigid splash. Erikah looked absolutely smug as she smiled broadly climbing down the ladder. Cherry looked sad and guilty as she and Mason stepped up next, both ultimately choosing ‘save’ for an unexciting moment of silence. Jen dunked Tim, Mason and Talia dunked each other, and Levi dunked Erikah with an oddly irritated and aggressive slam to the button.

_I didn’t think Levi and Erikah even really spoke much, let alone that they talked enough to have beef._

Jake got an extra dose of satisfaction getting to dunk Rohan and a thrill of excitement from the sting of the ice water of his skin as Rohan dunked him in return.

“Mate, I can’t believe you did that,” Jake laughed, rubbing the water from his eyes, “I thought we were tight.” He filled his voice with feigned and exaggerated despair.

“Psh, you dunked me too!” Rohan splashed water across the deck at Jake who was leaning against the edge of his tank.

“I just dunked you because I’m dunking everyone – it was the only way to be fair!” Jake splashed back and caught Allegra in the crossfire.

“Bloody, fuck, enough you two, last up is Cherry and Dax, honestly what we’ve all been waiting for.”

_Oh jeez…_

Jake saw Dax go pale and purse her lips as she walked up to the tank opposite Cherry. “Right, yeah, I should’ve seen that coming.” Jake could see Cherry shivering as she sat on the platform, despite the heat of the day and despite the fact she hadn’t touched the water.

_She looks like she’s been through the wringer, but fuck I don’t know what I’d do if I were Dax either…_

“We need to have a conversation babe, but I’m not going to dunk you, I’m not someone to blame the other woman.” Dax looked down and firmly pressed against the panel of buttons. Cherry says nothing, she just looks down into the water and then soberly pressed a button. Miles began counting down, as both women braced themselves, but no one moved. Jake could see Cherry’s mouth drop in surprise as she looked toward Dax, who smiled softly.

____________________________________________

The chlorine from the dunk tank water had caused Jake’s contacts to sting in his eyes. After the challenge, he’d run into the bedroom to take them out planning to rinse them in some saline, but he’d realized too late that his saline wasn’t on his bedside table where he thought it was and now he was practically blind.

_Ah, fuck._

Jake picked up his lens case and carried it gently through the suddenly blurry world around him. He headed toward the bathroom, stepping slowly and making sure not to crash into the shelves at the edge of the beds.

_The neon fucking helps…_

As he walked, he heard voices coming from the bathroom. “I understand I’ve upset you ok, I do. I don’t… do this kind of thing though. It’s not me Dax, I swear. I’m not trying to get off with some bloke behind his girl’s back – I don’t want Levi.”

“How am I supposed to believe that Cherry? You came in here and immediately took Mason off Allegra, and got off with him in the bedroom for days. You didn’t even bother to get to know us girls.”

“That was a mistake, just like it was a mistake for me to take Levi to the store this morning, my hundredth big mistake. But me grabbing Mason the way I did should make you realize – I would’ve done the same if I’d wanted Levi. I would’ve just told you.” Cherry sighed. “He wants to apologize, but he doesn’t know how.”

“Well actually talking to me would be a good start, instead of spending the morning with you.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Cherry laughed bitterly, and Jake could hear her footsteps coming towards him. He held his contact lens case up over his head as Cherry, fuming, ran straight into his chest.

“Oh, jeez, oh…” a vaguely red-headed blur looked up at him, her blue eyes sparkling even through his hazy vision. “Gosh Jake, I’m so sorry I should’ve been paying attention to where I was walking,” she paused. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Jake laughed and relaxed the muscles around his eyes.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I was on my way to rinse my contacts, I took them out but misplaced my saline, so I just can’t see anything, I didn’t mean to scowl at you or anything.” Cherry let out a sigh of relief.

“Well, that would make you the first person all day who wasn’t scowling on purpose.” She reached out her hand and touched his arm, “need any help, you know, considering you’re blind?” Cherry giggled and slipped her hand into his as he nodded. “C’mon handsome. I think I saw some solution on the counter in the bathroom.

Cherry’s hand fit nicely in his as she led him to the bathroom. And when they arrived, she tenderly took the lens case from his grasp, set it on the counter, and refilled the wells with the solution. They sat quietly for a moment. Jake felt oddly comfortable in the silence. Something about Cherry’s confident movements or tender energy put him at ease.

_She’s so young… but maybe I wrote her off too soon._

“Here,” she handed him the case back. He stuck his pointer finger in fishing out a contact to put in his eye. As the world came back into focus, he could see Cherry sitting on the counter and leaning back against the mirror. “I knew from watching the show you were quiet, and even getting here you’re obviously not someone who wants to be the centre of attention, but, wow, you really are a man of few words.” Cherry smiled, leaning her head backwards “How do you do it, keep everything to yourself all the time?” He rested his hands on the edge of the counter and leaned into them.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you in the beach hut, and honestly I’ve seen it while you’re here-”

_Shit, I forgot Cherry and Rohan had seen all those interviews before coming in here. What else has she seen?_

“You’re so into her, Dax, but you’ve clearly not said anything. On top of which, whenever there’s been drama in the house, in the beach hut – you always had an opinion. You always had this clever opinion and a really sound idea for handling things but, I’ve never really seen you call attention to yourself or share that kind of stuff.” She let her head roll to the side, still leaning it back against the mirror but now facing him. “How do you manage that? ‘Coz it honestly feels like my big mouth is what's constantly been getting me in trouble, and I’m sick of it.” Jake turned and pushed himself up onto the counter to sit next to her.

_How rude is it that I just want to make a joke about her big mouth kissing Levi._

“I don’t really know. It’s just sort of how I’ve always been. My parents got divorced when I was a teen, so, I’ve always had to be sort of careful about what I said around them. But, I don’t know.”

“Do you date people like you or more opposites?”

“Regardless of personality, I usually just end up with people I work with. So, basically why I’m still single,” Cherry gave a quick giggle, but her eyes saddened almost immediately.

“What do I do, Jake? You’re the most levelheaded bloke here. You clearly know Dax so well. How do I fix this?” Jake pushed a heavy sigh through his lips and rubbed his palms along his thighs.

“I think she meant it earlier when she said she doesn’t blame you, Dax is so close with the other girls I just can’t see her really putting all of this on you.” Cherry smiled warmly as the insides of her eyebrows raised up in hope. “Like, it wouldn’t hurt to stay out of her way for a little bit, give her and Levi some time and space to chat and figure their shit out. But I think if you’re just patient and honest, and don’t go snogging anyone else in secret – “Jake bumped his shoulder good-naturedly into hers, “- then things will work themselves out soon enough.” Cherry looked up at Jake, her giant doe eyes alive with optimism.

“I just don’t want to be this person, you know? I know what I look like, and I know how I acted with Mason. But nothing in here really feels like I expected. I was so worried about getting sent home I started playing this character I thought would look more interesting or more confident, but I did it without taking any time to realize that it meant no one would really get to know me.” She pulled her legs up onto the counter and crossed them underneath her.

_Dax has enough on her plate, and I don’t have to just wait around._

“I’d like to get to know you,” Jake smiled at her, the warmth of confidence saturating his entire chest.

____________________________________________

“Can you put these out around the table?” Cherry handed Jake a stack of plates and napkins as he passed behind her in the kitchen.

“Of course.” Jake took the stack from her and made his way toward the table that had been set up on the opposite side of the bar. He and Cherry had spent an hour or so chatting on the bathroom counter only to be interrupted by Levi holding a box of instant rice and fretting over following the recipe on the back. In the moment, Jake had found it deeply ironic that Levi was, once again, interfering in a connection he was making. Still, part of him felt relieved that he and Cherry had been interrupted. He knew that pursuing Cherry would be futile; they would never work on the outside. Stopping their conversation short just reminded him the only person he saw a real future with was Dax.

Jake almost dropped everything he was carrying as she came down the stairs. It was hard on most nights to do anything but revel in the way her clothes consistently highlighted her insane figure. Still tonight, it would be unbearable, she was almost entirely in leather. Her black leather crop top and thigh-high leather boots were paired with a scandalously tight-fitting white spandex skirt.

_Fuck me._

Just as he liked, Jake could picture every turn of her body under the leather. He could feel her skin against his hands and, as his imagination ran berserk, he could practically still taste her.

_She wants him to beg for her back, and who wouldn’t when she looks like that. Fuck._

The rest of the islanders arrived shortly after Dax and all took their places next to their partners as Jake finished setting the table. As everyone was seated, Levi and Cherry started bringing serving bowls from the kitchen to the table. Miles started making embellished yum noises as he looked up at Cherry.

“What have you and the big man been cooking up for us?” He smiled wide and snatched his fork up off the table. Levi stood at the head of the table and cleared his throat.

“Um, this is my world-famous coq-au-vin, based on a recipe handed down to me by my great grandmother.” He brought his hands together and gave a small bow, “enjoy all.” Cherry caught Jake’s attention and rolled her eyes at him.

_He literally needed her help to make this recipe off the box, can he make it a whole day without lying to someone? Fucking hell._

“Wowwww,” Miles continued, “coq-au-vin, I’m well impressed.” Jake lifted a bite to his mouth and grappled with swallowing it without distorting his expression.

_Fucking hell, so much garlic, and this chicken is just… rubber._

“I wouldn’t be impressed until you’ve tried it.” Jake wiped his mouth with his napkin and set down his fork. He raised an eyebrow toward Levi and then gestured toward the dish with his head.

_It’s disgusting you prick._

“I hope it’s alright for you Dax.” Cherry looked over at her desperately.

“I’m honestly just not very hungry,” Dax replied, sliding the plate away from her on the table.

“That’s fine; it’s honestly just chicken and some rice, we made it from the recipe on the back of the box.” Miles took a break from shovelling food into his mouth to gasp.

“What the hell, so this isn’t your grandmother’s recipe?” Everyone at the table began to murmur and look at Levi. Cherry tossed her hair over her shoulder.

“Not unless his nan was Mrs EasyCook Stock Cube.”

_Atta girl…_

Everyone except Levi burst into a fit of laughs and snickers at Cherry. “I’m sorry all,” Levi’s eyes turned down as he ran a hand along the side of his crown. “I was trying, but I was just – distracted - sort of.”

“I wonder why.” Dax murmured under her breath, sipping from her already near-empty wine glass.

“Are we just not going to talk about last night?” Jen crossed her arms and looked straight across to Levi. Both her tone and posture suggested she was very much, not kidding around. Levi stood up.

“Ok, listen up, I know there’s been a lot of rumours floating around the villa today, and most of them aren’t true. I think it’s fairer to everyone involved if I just clear some of them up now.”

_How convenient he hasn’t talked to Dax yet all day, but now he wants to control the narrative._

“So it’s not true you dumped me without warning to couple up with Dax, get off with her and then kiss Cherry in the middle of the night?” Jen’s arms somehow crossed even tighter as she ran her tongue across her teeth forcefully.

“Sadly, that is all true.” Levi hung his head. “But we haven’t been carrying on in secret, and we haven’t been plotting to get Dax dumped from the island. Those ideas are absurd.

“And you weren’t hypnotized by the moon after brooding on the terrace so much?” Tim interrupted wryly eliciting a small laugh from most of the group.

_He needs to stop avoiding the actual question…_

“So what the fuck did actually happen… mate?” Jake rested his elbows on the table and his mouth on the inside of his folded hands. Cherry reached across the table and set a hand on top of Dax’s. Jake saw Dax flinch before relaxing into the moment.

“Dax, it was honestly just a one-time mistake. It’s didn’t mean anything.”

“It’s ok Cherry, I believe you, I just wish you both had handled it better.” Dax went on continuing to condemn Levi’s behaviour toward her, “- and I would’ve told you I believed you earlier if you weren’t such a dick about everything.”

“I’m so sorry Dax, last night I just over-thought everything. Erikah and I had a chat before I bumped into Cherry on the terrace and it really threw my head for a spin. I mean honestly, my head was gone. I’m not trying to make excuses for making the wrong choice –

_Yes, you are._

“- But I know that’s part of why I made such a bad decision.” A clatter struck the other end of the table. Jake turned to see Erikah standing up from her chair and storming off.

“Well,” Dax gestured wildly toward Levi. “What could she have possibly said to you?” Jake could feel Dax beginning to fill with rage. He could see every muscle in her body tense as she tossed her hair behind her. He reached over to her and grabbed her hand.

“Does it really matter Dax? C’mon, take a breather.” Jake took a deep audible breath hoping to guide her. “It’s not like Erikah made them kiss.” Dax abruptly stood up and grabbed her wine glass. She then turned on her heels and without another word walked straight through the kitchen and back toward the bedroom. Before she’d made it through the door, she looked over her shoulder and called out,

“Tals or Jake, someone bring me more fucking wine.”


	24. Reveling in You

“I can’t believe there’s a recoupling tonight. It feels like it came so fast.” Cherry was stretched out on a sun lounger. She bent a knee, pulling one of her porcelain legs toward her. “Are you going to try and talk to Dax?” She raised her sunglasses from her face and bounced her eyebrows in perfect sync. Jake sat on the sun lounger next to her, enjoying the heat of the sun on his chest and only opening his eyes to steal an occasional glimpse at Cherry.

“I don’t know… It’s complicated.”

“How so? A slimeball went behind her back to make out with a bimbo,” she winked at him, “and now here you are the noble hero, the dreamy gentleman, the tall, dark, sexy best friend, here to turn her world into a flurry of romance.” Jack scratched the side of his neck as he felt himself blush.

_Does she think all those things about me?_

“Let’s not get carried away here, obviously we’re close, and I know you know I want to be with her – “ he looked down at his feet and inspected them for a moment hoping the right words might be on the ground. “I just, I know I’d stand a chance at convincing her to pick me because of everything that happened.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “And maybe I’m wasting an opportunity, but I don’t want to be picked just because she’s mad at Levi.” Cherry sat up and adjusted the straps of her bathing suits.

“No, I get that. If you want my opinion, I don’t think that’s wasteful at all; I think you deserve to be with someone who’ll recognize what a bloody catch you are, in your own right.” Cherry got up and moved to sit on the sun lounger next to Jake. “You’re clearly just so ready to be someone’s partner; you’re someone who sees love as a friendship first. I can’t imagine being in her shoes and completely ignoring someone who wants to care for me the way you obviously want to for her.” Cherry let a small space appear between her full lips while demurely glancing up at Jake.

_Wow, she’s really fucking hot, is she – is she flirting with me? No mate, don't be daft._

Jake swallowed hard, his social anxiety and heart rate starting to surge.

“I think I’ll wait.” Cherry bit her bottom lip and smiled softly. “Just keep myself sort of hopeful for now, and let her figure out what it is she’s looking for without me causing her more confusion.”

“You’re amazing, Jake. I don’t mean to be forward, but, I never thought someone like you would be my type. But, just now, what you just did. Without a thought, you put her finding happiness over your own feelings; normal people just aren’t that selfless. Type or not, what could be more attractive” Jake felt the rate of his breath getting away from him as his shoulders started to tense.

“You’re not a bimbo Cherry.” He turned to look directly in her eyes. “I know you were joking before, but I also know how hard it can be to move past the labels other people give you. I've had to shake quite a few labels in my life, so. You’re an absolute stunner, but you’re also sweet. And while I don’t agree with every part of how you handled the whole terrace situation, I think it was really proper of you to own it and apologize. Levi tried to shift the fucking blame Erikah, but you were the first person to point out that you hadn’t talked to her, that your actions were your own.”

“Thanks, I wish I could say I’m that good on the outside. I think here, just with the pressure of living with everyone, I felt like the only option was to be just really honest and try to stay that way.” Cherry’s phone beeped from underneath her chair. “Oooh! I’ve got a text!” She reached down to the underside of where she’d previously been sitting and grabbed the phone.

> **Cherry, as you were the most trustworthy girl in yesterday’s Sink or Swim challenge you’ve won a special prize with the most trustworthy boy, Levi! There are massage tables and a bottle of bubbly for you two to share up on the lawn, rub down and relax!**
> 
> **#touching’n’rubbin #sp-oiledforchoice**

“Oh shoot.” Cherry pursed her lips and pulled them to one side of her face. “It's massages, it’s clearly massages.” She dropped her head into her hands. “Jake, how am I supposed to go about giving Dax and Levi space by rubbing him down on the middle of the lawn?” Jake reached out and took the phone from her. He shaded his eyes from the sun and looked down at the text.

“I mean, technically it doesn’t say anything about you having to rub each other.” He turned to face her and handed the phone back. “Why don’t you just ask one of the other girls to give you your massage and then make Levi sit through a massage from like, Tim.” Cherry grasped Jake’s face in her hand and planted a firm kiss on his cheek.

_Oh._

“Absolutely brilliant Jake. You’re brilliant. Come on.” She stood up and power walked a few strides away from the sun loungers. She’d practically made it up the stairs before she stopped abruptly and turned around. “Well come on handsome, you’ve got to give me a massage.”

_Wait what…_

“Sorry, what?”

“Come on it’s perfect,” she smiled cleverly her bright eyes twinkling with excitement. “Trust me. You’re the safest choice, and it’s best for you.” Cherry hopped down the steps a few paces back towards him. “You’re in a friendship couple with Jen so none of the girls will be cross with me, even though I’m sure Dax will be at least a little jealous. If you want her to even think about choosing you tonight you’ve got to catch her eye. Especially if you’re not going to actually tell her how you feel.”

_She really is quicker than she looks._

“Go get Tim or Rohan or someone to give Levi a massage, he’s still trying to prove something to Dax so he won’t want it to be one of the other girls. I was chatting with Dax before you came to sit here and I don’t think she’s exactly ready to jump into a romantic massage with him.”

“Ok, fine, that’s not actually a terrible plan.” Jake rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen. Rohan was waist-deep in the refrigerator as the clanking of bottles and tupperware echoed behind him. “Hey, Ro.”

“Mate, yes, thank god, I’m starving.” Jake laughed and shook his head.

“No mate, you’re needed down on the lawn. Cherry and Levi won a couples massage from winning the challenge yesterday, but they don’t want to stir up more drama, so, we’ve been drafted.”

“So, you’re telling me I have to skip lunch and make Erikah mad by greasing up another girl?”

“No mate, you’re on Levi.”

“So. You’re telling me I have to skip lunch and grease up another mate?”

“Yes.”

“Only for you. I’m tired of catching you staring at Dax so, you better enjoy this.” Rohan grinned widely at Jake who rolled his eyes.

_It’s not like I’m going to complain about massaging Cherry._

Jake followed Rohan over to the lawn where Cherry and Levi were digging through a giant basket of spa supplies. Cherry grabbed a big white fluffy towel which unfolded in front of her as she held it up.

“Oooo,” she sighed, “this is absolutely lush.” She wrapped the towel under her arms and around herself as she reached to untie the top knot in her bathing suit. She pulled the towel taut and bits of her very perky chest spilt over the top. Jake felt a lump form in his throat.

_Oh. Jeez._

“Ok Rohan, don’t go easy now. If I’m gonna get a massage from a mate instead of a girl I want it to be a good one.” Levi dove forward onto a massage table, planting his face directly down on the face cushion. Rohan caught eyes with Jake and silently mouthed ‘only for you.’

“Guess I’m up too,” Cherry giggled sweetly. “There’s bergamot oil or sweet orange, do you have a smell preference?”

_Always citrus._

“Isn’t it your massage?”

“Yea but I roped you into this so it should at least smell nice right?” Cherry smiled awkwardly and shrugged. “I guess bergamot, I love a dusky scent.” She handed Jake the bottle of massage oil and laid swiftly down onto the table letting the towel fall off her to expose her bare back.

_Holy side boob._

Jake lathered some of the oil in his hands and hovered for a moment over Cherry’s back. A brief feeling of guilt passed through his heart and turned his stomach. Did he really want Dax to see this, was he trying to make her jealous? 

_Stop overthinking it, you idiot. Just rub this beautiful girl._

Jake pressed his hands into Cherry’s back and began to rub large circles around her shoulder blades.

“Mhmmm,” she moaned, “that actually feels so good.” Jake moved his hands up to her shoulders and began pressing small circles with his thumbs at the base of her neck. Cherry’s skin was shockingly and exquisitely clear. As he rubbed, Jake noticed there wasn’t a single blemish to be found. Not a birthmark, not a scar, not even a scratch or patch of sunburn. It was like he was holding onto a real-life porcelain doll. Cherry turned her head to face him blissed out and smiling.

“Would you get the side of my ribs a bit?” she asked quietly before turning her face back down. Jake replenished the oil on his hands and reached over her body to squeeze her ribs between his hands. As he worked, his freshly oiled hands slipped forward grazing and cupping the underside of Cherry’s enhanced breasts.

_Oh shit…_

She turned to look at him again. “Maybe you’re not as much a gentleman as I thought,” she winked.

“Ok, that really feels good Ro." Levi rolled his shoulders back. "I've had a lot of sports massages but cheers to you mate - I’m going to make sure Erikah gets wind of what your hands can do.” the group laughed. “Oh. Dax!” Jake turned to look over his shoulder to see Dax approaching the lawn. “Have you come to join us?” Levi practically sprung up off the table towards her.

_I’ve never seen a man with so much to prove._

“Um,” Dax laughed, “why are Rohan and Jake massaging you?” She cocked her head to the side her dimples coming just slightly out of hiding. She wore another strap-laden bikini that hugged every curve of her body, making her look like a bondage goddess. He knew her well enough to know she was trying to torment Levi, intentionally putting her flawless body on display to show him what he wasted; but he doubted she knew how much it tortured him too. His hands immediately pulled away from Cherry.

_Fucking hell Dax._

“We both won massages for dunking the fewest people yesterday, and we had to pick other people in the villa to give them. We just thought, given the circumstances, this arrangement seemed like the best way not to cause any more drama.” Cherry was re-wrapping the towel around her body as she sat up.

“Apparently I’m the safe choice?” Jake smiled and winked at Dax.

“Yep,” called Rohan, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “And I’m not at all salty about that.” Jake smiled and wiped his hands on a spare towel.

“Just like I’m not salty about how you’re in a really nice couple with a girl who likes you and who you fancy back.” Rohan huffed and patted Levi on the back. “Alright, we’re done here. Dax, did you want a massage? Everything is all set up?” A mischievous gleam passed over Dax’s face as she turned to look dead-on at Levi.

“That actually seems really nice. Jake, mind giving me a quick rub?”

_I didn't mean me but... how far is she going to push him?_

Cherry looked a Jake and raised her eyebrows excitedly, she hopped off the massage table and offered it over to Dax. “That is an excellent choice if the one I’ve had is anything to go by.”

“Woah, ok then.” Levi clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes toward Jake. “I’m sure you two will have a nice time.” Levi spun on his heels and stormed off toward the kitchen.

“I guess we should leave you two to it.” Cherry winked at Jake. “Ro, will you help me carry this stuff back into the villa?” Rohan nodded as Cherry handed him the basket and they made off toward the kitchen behind Levi. Dax laid down on the massage table bringing her arms up so she could rest her cheek on the back of her stacked hands.

“Did you really want a massage or were you just trying to make Levi jealous?” Dax frowned and straightened her head.

“Was it that obvious?”

“I’d like to say it’s just because I know you too well, but this time, I think it was pretty obvious.” Dax sighed heavily.

“I just, I’m still angry at him, but with the recoupling tonight I know I have to make a decision, a real one, about whether or not I want to give him another chance.” Jake’s stomach turned at the thought of her staying coupled with Levi. Even if she wasn’t with him, it burned a little extra knowing it could be Levi who might get to love her and hold her and fuck her.

_He’s so undeserving, he’s so selfish…_

“Look, let me give you the massage anyway.” Jake couldn’t let the opportunity to touch her pass him by. “You’ve had a really shitty few days and you deserve some relaxation.”

“You don’t have to convince me,” she giggled, “I’ll always accept a free massage from someone with big 'ole hands like yours.” She winked and turned her face down into the table. Jake felt his pulse start to race with excitement as he slowly untied the many harness-like straps of her bathing suit top. As he expected, undressing her in the daytime was just as arousing as doing it in the dark of night. Jake grabbed the bottle of massage oil and drizzled it lightly along her shoulders. He began slowly pushing his hands into her back tracing his thumbs along her spine and then branching his fingers out into her shoulder muscles. With each stroke of his hands along her skin, Dax let out a small moan and Jake had to focus harder and harder on controlling his body.

“Go a little bit lower.”

_Fuck me. This was a terrible idea._

His trunks began to feel slightly tighter as he drew his hands down to the small of her back. Despite the memories he had of her in nearly this exact position, he hadn’t ever noticed the second set of delicate dimples she had resting in the back of her hips. In fact, admiring her body in the daylight was a fiercely new and electrifying experience. He noticed a string of five birthmarks that curved under her right shoulder blade like a constellation. He noticed a few small pink spots of peeling from where the sun had kissed her too deeply. The goosebumps on her back told his aching fingertips the most fascinating fairytale written in braille.

_I could spend the rest of my life delighting in the beauty of her body._

“Mmmm, I am so glad you insisted on this, you’re so good at it,” She groaned in pleasure. Armed with a burst of confidence bolstered by the intimacy of the moment Jake ran his hand gently through the curve where the bottom of her bum met the top of her leg.

“Well, I do have some experience in pleasuring you.” Jake saw Dax jiggle her shoulders as a chill appeared to roll down her spine. “How’s the pressure?”

“I figured from your _experience_ , you’d know I'd like it harder than one might assume,” she giggled at her obvious double entendre. “I don’t know how you bring out this side of me soldier. I’ve never been so goofy with someone about this stuff.” Jake felt a comforting warmth spread across his chest as she relaxed into his hands. Time seemed to drift away, but it didn’t bother him, one bit. He would indulge in the enjoyment of her body as long as she’d let him.


	25. Bronze Skin, Green Eyes

“Can someone please explain how I got dragged into this?” Jake leaned back into the headboard, letting his shoulder come gently into contact with Dax’s. He tossed a pillow straight at Rohan, who ducked, allowing it to fly straight into Tim’s face.

“Bruv,” Tim tossed the pillow back, square to Jake’s chest and pointed forcefully at him. “You write beautiful poetry. There’s no way you can’t spin that into sick bars.” Dax chuckled and wiped her hand across her brow exasperatedly.

“His poetry is artful Tim. If he’d ever share any, you’d know that, but that’s beside the point. I think his talent could just be put to better use. It’s more complex than your rap crew.” Dax rubbed Jake affectionately on the arm. “Don’t let them trick you into this foolishness.” She smiled, crinkling her nose and eyebrows into a cautionary smile.

“Pshhh,” Rohan dropped down onto the end of the bed at Dax and Jake’s feet. “You’re just jealous cause out of us four you’ve haven’t got bars at all.” He teasingly elbowed the bottom of her foot. Dax gasped in pretend disappointment.

“And how do you know I don’t have bars?”

“Whoever heard of a trainee surgeon who had bars?” A dark cloud passed immediately across Dax’s eyes as her laughter evaporated away. Rohan sat straight up and with his expression sent darts at Tim.

_What is everyone on about?_

Dax’s crossed her arms over her body and rubbed the outside of one arm with the palm of her hand. For an instant, it seemed like she might completely disappear into the mattress underneath her, but the moment quickly passed.

“I **was** training to be a surgeon, but unfortunately for you the past few months I’ve had time off, and I spent every weekend competing in underground rap battles and getting features on multiple big singles.”

_Was?_

Tim’s eyes grew wide, “Seriously?”

Jake could tell she was pushing past something, hiding her discomfort behind a joke, but now wasn’t the time or place to ask. “No, you dickhead,” she forced a laugh, “but it was rude of you to assume I can’t put a few rhymes together.” Jake felt a buzz in his pocket.

_Saved by the bell._

“Guys, I’ve got a text.”

> **Islanders, in today’s challenge we’ll find out how you really ‘feel’ about each other. Please go to the garden for a game we’re calling ‘Love is Blind.” #feelinggood #handson**

“Alright boys, let’s have at it.” Tim sped out the room practically tripping on his own feet. Rohan laughed and jogged out behind him. Dax and Jake stood and made for the door as well, but Jake stopped her and grabbed her hand.

“Hey, just now, about the time off, you weren’t joking, were you?” He could feel his concern seeping through his pursed lips and uneven brow.

“It’s not a big deal, I had to take some time off, but I hope I’ll be starting back in a few months.”

“Are you ok though, you seemed – “ she cut him off and placed her palm on his cheek.

“We’ll chat later, ok soldier? You’re sweet to care.” She squeezed his hand and led him to the door.

“Hurry up, you two!” Talia shouted from down in the garden where t e rest of the islanders were already waiting. The bean bags had all been discarded in a pile to the side, and a huge square was taped off on the ground. All the guys were standing inside the square, and all the girls were standing around the edge as Talia handed out blindfolds. As he approached the group, Rohan waived Jake over to him and held up his phone.

> **Boys, the girls will be blindfolded during today’s challenge and must try and find the boy they’re coupled up with using only there hands. To ensure the girls make their decisions using only their sense of touch do you best to stay quiet during the challenge, especially when the surprise arrives. #NewIslanderWhoDis #ShhhhhIt’sASecret**

Jake looked at Rohan, who was smiling subtly, trying to conceal his excitement. Jake put his hand on Rohan’s shoulder and leaned his head down.

“A new islander? Shit, mate.” Jake rubbed his free hand over his mouth in disbelief.

“Shit is right. This might be just what you fucking need. The girl who’s gonna get you over Dax could be outside that gate right now.” Jake shook his head; his lips pressed firmly together. Did he want to get over Dax? Jake looked out over the other guys who were all doing a way better job of being subtle than he’d expected. Mason has his arm hanging around Tim’s neck as they both looked at his phone.

_Must be the same message._

“Girls remember to grab the guys hand when you think it’s your partner and boys… fuck… BOYS. Enough with the phones, are you ready?” Allegra’s tapped her foot and mimed patting an invisible watch on her wrist.

“Yea yea, c’mon ladies get those blindfolds on and get in here!” The girls eagerly slid the blindfolds onto their heads and over their eyes, every one taking a moment to adjust her hair. Jake couldn’t help but laugh as their enthusiasm faded into overly cautious arms waving out in front of them as the girls attempted to feel for the boys.

“Shit.” “Ah, sorry” “Am I even going the right way?” “Oops, that felt like a man part!” The girls were bumping into each other far more than any of the boys. Mason whistled to grab attention and spun his pointer finger up in the air, indicating that the boys should mix themselves into the girls.

_Is it weird to walk towards Dax so she’ll touch me? Fuck man, you’re a melt, just stand in the middle somewhere._

As the boys began to mingle, Mason whistled again and pointed up to the top of the stairs. A thin and incredibly fit boy was sprinting toward them and waving silently. The newcomer gestured tapping the tips of his fingers into his sternum mouthing something that looked like ‘east.’

_Fucking hell, another guy._

Jake suppressed a shiver as panic surged through him.

_Another fucking boy means one of us is going home tonight._

Jake swallowed hard as Talia slowly approached him, her arms out in front of her and her smile wide with anticipation. She must’ve felt his presence near her because as she approached him, she slowed down and slowly placed her palms on his chest as if she could tell exactly where he was. She widened her grip until she had a hand wrapped around each of his biceps and squeezed.

“Fucking Jake, my love, no one’s got arms like you.” She unhurriedly reached up and pinched his chin affectionately. “Do me a favour and point me toward another chap?” Jake chuckled and spun her by the shoulder in Tim’s direction. The rest of the girls were still flailing about as Jake walked deeper into the centre of the square behind Talia. He could see Dax tilting her head quizzically as she rubbed her hand along the new boys buzzed haircut. Mason was the only guy the girls knew of with really short hair like that, but the new guy was considerably smaller. Dax scratched her head and turned toward Jake, obviously deciding that regardless of who it was -

_She knows that’s not Levi._

As Dax made her way cautiously toward him, over her shoulder, Jake could see Cherry approaching Levi. Cherry reached out, clearly not expecting someone to be so close to her, and her hand landed directly between Levi’s legs. His face instantaneously morphed into a smug grin, and he pushed his hips forward as Cherry gasped and took a step back.

_Gross, does he totally forget that people can see him?_

Before he could observe any more, he felt a soft pair of hands on his chest. Dax ran her palms along his chiselled abs and then crawled her fingers up into his chest hair.

“Mmmm, Jake…” She chuckled peacefully to herself and ran a finger along his collar bone. All the tension in his chest melted away at the sound of her soft moan, but all too quickly, she dropped her hands away from him and turned around. He could hear her mumbling under her breath. “Levi, Levi, Levi – where the hell are you?”

Jake held his ground and looked around the group. Mason and Cherry were holding hands as were Tim and Talia. Allegra practically had her whole body wrapped around Miles, and Jen had wandered toward the far corner of the square. She was almost crossing outside the playing field as Levi reached out to turn her around. Dax ran around the middle of the garden, throwing her hands in the air madly as she collided with Levi and began rubbing her hands along his shoulders. Jake and a couple of the guys laughed, Rohan though stood with his arms crossed tightly across his chest. Erikah was a few paces away from him, holding tightly to the new islander.

_There’s no way she could’ve confused him for Rohan._

A buzzer noise played through the speakers announcing the end of the game. The girls removed their blindfolds, all blinking busily in the bright sunshine. Dax was standing right next to Levi, who was looking down at her in frustration. They weren’t holding hands.

_She didn’t recognize him._

For the first time since being in the Villa, Jake felt a real twinge of hope. Dax had immediately recognized his body, instantly smiled at touching him, spent valuable challenge time exploring him with her hands, and she hadn’t recognized Levi.

“Now, I have to say, that was quite fun.” The new islander was still holding onto Erikah as his smooth voice resounded across the group.

“Who the hell are you?” Allegra asked resentfully.

“Look what I found!” Erikah’s voice rang out in sing-song as she pulled the boy to the centre of the group.

“Woah look at those pecs! When did you get here?” Jen stepped toward him and bit her lip. Jake saw Erikah squeeze the boys hand tighter, clearly threatened by Jen’s advance.

“I snuck in during the game, I’m Reese by the way,” he smiled “I wanted to make sure you girls all got a good feel.” Reese slickly pinched his jaw between his thumb and the rest of his hand.

“Ugh,” Dax exclaimed, “I wish I’d known I was so damn confused. I thought someone had left Mason in the dryer for too long.” The group laughed.

“Aw,” Reese whined playfully, “here I was thinking you were just loving me.” Erikah looked longingly into Reese’s eyes, still grasping his hand.

“I think Dax has enough on her plate.” She turned her eyes severely toward Dax. “The rest of us will just have to get to appreciate you.”

_Whoah down girl, way to mark your territory. Fuck… poor Rohan_

Reese smiled with an air of effortless cool as Jake saw Rohan clenching his jaw tighter and tighter. 

“Please do, they don’t call me Reese ‘The Masterpiece’ Taylor for nothing.” Levi sniggered loudly.

“Who calls you that mate?” Unphased Reese turned to face him.

“Technically no one yet. It’s a name I’m trying out for wrestling. I’m a wrestler.” Jake saw Erikah and Jen practically swoon.

“Gosh,” Erikah twittered, “I’d love for you to show me some moves.” She bit her lip as Rohan coughed for attention.

“Oh hell yea, me too!” Tim jumped up toward Reese. “Wait, I don’t think I meant that how Erikah meant that.” Rohan finally stepped forward his arms still crossed.

“Yea, I’d like to know how Erikah meant that too.” Rohan gestured his hand out to question her. Jake could see Rohan’s cheeks beginning to turn red as he turned his attention to Reese.

_Shit._

He quickly stepped between them and put his hand on Rohan’s shoulder. “Ok guys, um, that’s the end of the game, good job for everyone who did find their partners.” Jake ran his hand through his hair. “Why don’t’ we all go sit down, and we can get to know Reese a little better as a group, not in the hot sun.”

____________________________________________

Jake had spent a few minutes talking Rohan off the edge, and now he lounged across a bean bag enjoying a rare moment of silence. He felt a masochistic pleasure in the way the sun was absolutely stinging his skin in between brief bursts of the cool breeze.

“You did a pretty good job of de-escalating things back there,” Cherry’s sultry voice grew closer as she made her way next to him. “I don’t know what we’d do without you around to constantly calm things down.” She smiled at him and tapped her foot supportively on top of his. “I figured the peacemaker might want a drink; I surely think you deserve one.” At the mention of liquid Jake suddenly felt aware of his throat and the sensation of thirst.

“That would actually be really lovely.”

“Whiskey rocks, right?”

“Yea, how’d you – “ she cut him off.

“We watched the first few days on the telly remember?”

“Ahhhh, well then yes. That would be great.”

“I’ll be right back” Cherry skipped off toward the kitchen humming a sweet sort of off-pitch tune to herself. Jake sat another moment himself but was once again interrupted.

“So is the sweet little tart trying to chat you up now or just making it look like she’s not interested in Levi?” Dax plopped down on the bean bag next to him.

_Woah, harsh._

“Don’t be so tough on her Dax,” Jake turned to face her shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. “She’s really trying to give you guys space.” Dax’s eyes narrowed as she pushed her tongue into her cheek thoughtfully.

_Does she think Cherry is flirting with me?_

“Plus what’s it to you if Cherry is grafting, I’d assume you’d be glad she was over here instead of anywhere near Levi.” Dax crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

“I don’t care, I was just, curious is all. You haven’t really made that kind of connection yet with someone, so – “she shook her head and made an awkward smile. “I was just asking is all.” Jake could hear footsteps and the jingling of ice.

“Yea and basically my theory is that they were shagging like the whole time behind Jen’s back which is why the whole thing with Cherry was just so predictable.”

“I’m literally standing right here Allegra.” Cherry walked up next to him with Allegra and Reese joining close behind her. She handed him a rocks glass with what looked like a triple shot and plopped down onto the open bean bag on Jake’s opposite side.

_Fuck, I wasn’t trying to get drunk in the middle of the day._

“Yea,” Dax chimed in, “I’m also right here – if you could stop spreading gossip that’d be so great.”

Allegra sat on the ground and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “It’s hardly gossip, babes. Everyone in the villa saw you and Levi disappear the night Cherry and Rohan arrived.” Dax rolled her eyes.

“I’m not trying to fuel any fire here,” Reese joined the circle. “But, if we’re completely honest, everyone saw it on the telly, too.” Reese ran his hand over his head and scratched the back of his scalp. Jake took a large swig from his drink.

_Fuck, he’s seen everything._

“Oh wow,” Cherry crooned, “so you’ve seen like everything that’s happened?” Her already large eyes opened even wider as she sipped from her drink.

“Well not everything, obviously it’s like edited down. But yea I’ve been watching.”

“So you have all the good gossip, the stuff we all really don’t know?” Allegra’s expression lit up with curiosity as she leaned further and further off the bean bag towards Reese.

“Maybe…” Reese looked directly at Jake and raised one eyebrow knowingly.

_Oh, fucking hell… shag her in the pool mate it’s fine, fuck her on the open roof terrace doesn’t matter…._

Jake was suddenly deeply grateful for Cherry’s heavy-handed pour, and he tossed almost the rest of it back refusing to make eye contact with Dax. Reese held up his own glass toward Jake. “Cheers to you boss-man, it’s crazy to actually be here. You’ve all been so great.” Jake lifted his glad back and took his last swig savouring the burn.

“Glad you’re liking it, mate. It’s nice to have a new face around, and you seem pretty chill.”

“Aww yay,” Cherry clapped her hands together a few times. “If Jake reckons you’re ok, I think you’ll do fine.” Reese began to laugh.

“Oh I’m sure I will, the boy’s a fan favourite. Guess what they’re calling him back home.”

_Fucking hell._

“Mmmmm.” Cherry touched her finger to her lips. “Big Jake?” Reese shook his head, and Dax giggled.

“Beefcake Jake?” Dax smiled as she twisted her hair into a knot on the top of her head.

_Ew._

Reese adjusted himself and sat forward in anticipation. “They’re calling him ‘sweetcheeks.’” All three girls audibly gasped and began laughing.

Dax smiled a full dimpled smile, “Where the heck did that come from?”

Reese leaned back on his hands. “I’m not full sure, but basically in one of the episodes they had to um, like box you mate.”

“Box me?” Jake leaned forward.

“Yea like cover your bits.” Cherry’s mouth dropped open in delighted shock as most of the colour drained from Dax’s face.

_Aaaand I’ve officially shagged on national television. Shit._

“Ohmigod, Jake! What have you been getting into?” Cherry barely got the words out over Allegra’s cackling or through her own feverish giggles.

“Anyway, so like some singer, I don’t remember, tweeted out that she wished they hadn’t boxed you cause she bet you had some sweet cheeks.” Jake felt all the blood in his body rushing to his face as his palms began to feel hot. “But don’t freak out, I think it’s stuck cos really everyone thinks you’re so sound. Like such a proper decent guy.”

“Nope,” Cherry shook her head with her lips pressed into a smile. “I think it’s cos of his cute bum.” out of the corner of his eye, Jake saw Dax frown at Cherry’s words and then immediately hide her expression under affected laughter.

_I was right before. She’s jealous._

“Honestly, I don’t see why it can’t be both.” Knowing Dax was still watching Jake winked at Cherry.

“Jake ‘Sweetcheeks’ Wilson certainly has a nice ring to it.” Dax threw back her drink and looked away.

“It’s not bad, I’m definitely taking that name if I become a wrestler.” Reese curled his hand into a fist and held it out to Jake for a bump.

“Oh hell yeah, we’d make an amazing tag-team. You’re well fit. I could train you up for sure.”

“I’d definitely pay to see that.” Allegra chimed in, “You all would make a sight in spandex.” The group all laughed.

“I’d certainly love to see you get your hands on each other.” Cherry bit her lip and looked at Jake with noticeable bedroom eyes.

_Oh mate, you’re going to get yourself in trouble._

____________________________________________

“Please please, step into my office handsome.” Talia was laying out on roof terrace. “I’ve missed you dear, being coupled with Tim I feel like I hardly get to see you, plus he hogs all the blankets so - that’s trash.” Jake laughed and dropped down onto the bench at her feet, holding out the gin tonic he’d made for her.

“Well if that’s the case I think you’re going to like why I’m up here.” He took a swig from his refilled whiskey as Talia adjusted her legs to lay them on his lap.

“And here I thought you just wanted to spend time with me.” She raised herself up on her elbows and winked. “What’s on your mind babes?”

“So. I’m pretty sure Dax is going to pick Levi at the recoupling tonight.”

“I think you’re right, I think even with what he did, she still wants to see what being with him would be like without all the drama.”

“Call me an idiot, but I don’t think they’re vibing the way they were before. Today in the challenge, she found me almost instantly, and she knew it was me, but she couldn’t recognize Levi even when should was touching all over him.” Talia pinched her lips together wryly.

“That couldn’t possibly be because every time she’s sad, you let her fuck you to feel better?”

“She told you about the other night?”

“I have my way of knowing things.” Talia raised both eyebrows and wiggled her fingers playfully.

“Ok, sure, fine so my body is familiar to her, but earlier, Cherry was grafting on me,” Jake licked his lips, “and I swear Tals - Dax was acting jealous.” Talia sat all the way up.

“Wait I’m sorry are we just skipping the Cherry was grafting on you part?” Jake pointed at her.

“Ah-ha, so you don’t know everything.”

“Okay, alright smartass.” Talia pulled her legs underneath her, “so why are you bribing me with gin and tonic?”

“As long as there isn’t someone you’re excited about, I was hoping you would pick me at the recoupling later.” Talia lifted her sunglasses to hold back her feisty curls and reached out to touch his arm.

“Of course Jake, you know I’m not interested in anyone right now, I probably would’ve picked you anyway.”

“I just, I didn’t want to assume, and with the extra guy now, I think someone is going home tonight – and just.” Jake let out a deep sigh. “I’m not ready to give up.” He took a mouthful from his drink and turned his body to face Talia. “I was talking to Rohan earlier and just, I respect her, and I don’t ever want to be so forward that I make her uncomfortable or go against her wishes. But like. I’ve never even fucking said anything. I’m falling in love with her, and I’ve never told her.” Jake ran his hand through his hair, a sense of exasperation coursing through his bones. “But to get the chance, I have to still be here, you know?”

“You have my word. You’ll be here next week if it’s up to me. But you have to keep this fire ok.” Talia squeezed his forearm and held her drink out to him. “If I keep you around, you have to fight for her.” Jake tapped his glass against hers.

“I’ll drink to that.”


	26. The Only Thing Left

There was an uncharacteristic quiet in the guy’s dressing room as they approached the recoupling. Tension sat in the air like steam in a humid room as the dressed boys waited for the girls to be finishing primping. Miles and Mason were having some rambling chat in the corner about which cricket players could hold their own if picked for the national football team and Reese was nervously practising his speech to himself in the mirror behind them. Tim was still showering while Levi and Rohan sat tapping away at their phones, silently brewing anxiety. Despite being reasonably sure he’d be in a couple with Talia by the end of the night, Jake was in a relatively good mood. Talia had the chance to take Rohan to the market to buy desserts and drinks for a party the islanders were having later tonight, and a party meant there would be plenty of whiskey. Plenty of whiskey meant that he would have plenty of confidence, and plenty of confidence meant that Jake would be able to finally tell Dax how he felt about her. It was the most excited he’d felt all week.

“Jake, um, can I steal you for a quick chat?” Everyone in the room looked up at the door as Cherry leaned partially into the room, her long manicured fingers wrapping around the door frame.

_Me?_

Jake looked over his shoulder to where Mason was sitting. Mason shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head, indicating he wouldn’t be bothered by his current partner, taking Jake for a private chat.

“Sure, yeah, absolutely.” Jake followed her out to the hallway and down the stairs, her spiced perfume flooding his senses as he walked. Cherry daintily dropped down onto the couch and patted the spot next to her.

“I’m sorry to make a big deal of chatting; I sort of hate how everyone does that here.” She shook her head apologetically and placed a warm hand on Jake’s thigh. “Basically though, I didn’t think I’d get another chance to talk to you, and just kind of wanted to know where your head was at. I know earlier you’d said you were hoping you might catch Dax’s eye, which is still like so sweet and I’m hoping for it, for you–" stiffness coursed through Cherry’s neck and shoulders highlighting her taut collar bone. “I think it’s just been sort of a weird day for me, because, well Mason’s been grafting Dax too funnily enough, and it’s clear he’s not going to be able to forgive me for what happened with Levi, and I’m just sort of trying to figure out who Dax doesn’t have on a string, so that maybe I could have a chance with someone I like." Cherry’s bright blue eyes suddenly began to turn pink as tears filled the waterline. “Someone like you.”

_Jake, mate, what the fuck are you doing?_

All the excitement he’d felt just moments before seemed melt out of his chest at the sight of Cherry holding back tears. How could he turn down a lovely girl, a stunning girl, for a woman who at best was going to couple with someone else and at worst saw Jake as no more than a friend? Then again, how could he sit on this couch and tell Cherry to choose him, how could he give her hope, when he’d been planning his conversation with Dax all day?

“I’m sorry – “ she continued, painfully laughing and blinking away her pain. “I shouldn’t have said all that; I don’t mean - I just, it completely makes sense why everyone loves her I mean I bloody snogged her man behind her back, and she’s never been unkind to me for a moment.” Cherry tucked a strand of her bright red hair behind her ear. “It’s not really about her Jake – it’s about you. I’m just a little jealous that’s all, and I really just wanted to know – if Dax picks Levi, would you be open to me picking you?” Jake could feel a tingling in his fingers and toes as sweat began to form behind his knees.

“Cherry I…” he placed his hand on top of hers. “You’re so lovely, and I’ve really enjoyed the moments we’ve had together this week. But I don’t want to promise you something I can’t uphold; you deserve so much more than me pining for someone else.” Jake felt his jaw grow tight as the words came out of his mouth, was Cherry, right? Was he just waiting on a string, was any of the pain he felt aching for Dax worth it? Or just like every relationship he’d had before, was he bending over backwards to be available for someone who never really asked him to be? Who ever gets anything from one-sided desire?

His heart began to race as Cherry ran through hopeful platitudes and rubbed her hand on his leg. She was saying something about what a gentleman he was, but he couldn’t really hear her over the sound every doubt he held about himself rushing to the front of his mind.

“I just want the chance to get to know you more.”

“I’d like to know you too, I just, want to be transparent about my feelings for Dax.”

“Well then, for you, I hope she chooses you, but if she doesn’t, things might not be so bad.” Cherry reached out and straightened the collar of his shirt letting the tips of her fingers graze his neck and the top of his chest. She smiled warmly before she stood up and walked back towards the stairs.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

After a moment, he picked himself up and rambled up the stairs back towards the dressing room. Jake dropped down on the couch, letting his head fall back and rest on the cushion. Staring up at the ceiling, he felt the pillows next to his shake.

“So you’re coupling up with Cherry then?” Levi’s voice was whispered, gruff, and patronizing. He chuckled and reached out to squeeze Jake’s shoulder firmly. “Fooling around with Dax wasn’t enough of my slops for you?” Raw fury consumed Jake as his mouth grew dry and his hands clenched into fists.

_How does he…shit, Reese._

“Mate, you’ve got about 3 seconds to get your fucking hand off me.” Levi removed his hand from Jake’s shoulder and crossed his arms tightly in front of him.

_Fuck I don’t want to be here right now._

“Bloody hell, it’s been forever,” Miles whined, “can someone please go tell the girls we’re ready.

“I’ll go.” Jake eagerly stood up and stormed from the room towards the girls dressing room. Frustrated, he slammed the outside of his fist onto the railing of the stairs and leaned forward, taking deep breaths.

_He doesn’t give a shit. He just wants to win her. What the actual fuck, she deserves so much more than that fucking tosser. 1…2…3…_

Jake continued toward the girls dressing room feverishly working to control his breath. He could hear the girls laughing and what sounded like Tim rapping.

“Heyyyy, take it, Big Jake!!”

_Keep it together, mate._

Jake forced a smile onto his face, rolled his shoulders and walked into the room. “Actually, it’s ‘sweet cheeks’ now.” 

____________________________________________

The islanders were walking in a large group down to the fire pit for the recoupling when Jake felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Something’s not right with you, what’s going on?” Talia had scooted up next to him and was whispering as she walked.

“I can’t get into it now.” Jake powered forward, not bothering to slow his pace for her.

“I don’t like the look in your eyes, Jake; the fucking recoupling can wait.”

“It’s fine.” He pulled away from her and made his way next to Rohan in the line of boys standing on the outside of the firepit. Reese’s phone beeped, and he stepped forward.

“Looks like I’ll get a chance to couple up before the girls, being new blood.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t mind saying –“ 

Jake’s rage was interrupted at the sight of her. His breathlessness returned, but now, in wonder. Dax was sitting behind the fire, one long tanned leg crossed over the other, dressed in pure white shorts and a white bra underneath a netted long sleeve top.

_My god._

“You girls all seem really sound, and it’s so hard to pick between you…”

Gazing through the fire at her, everything seemed to clear. Of course, it was worth it to keep trying, of course, she was worth fighting for. She sat carefully listening to Reese and smiling at the girls around her. Dax was everything he wanted. She was supportive and loyal and passionate. She was gorgeous completely covered up and with nothing on. She made him laugh and feel seen, and most of all, she made him feel bold. Just an hour ago, he was excited at the thought of confessing his feelings, something he never thought he could do.

“I’m so sorry, but I can only go with how I feel.”

Jake continued to cherish the gold in her eyes as Reese announced –

“The girl I want to couple up with is Erikah!”

_Oh shit._

Jake immediately turned to look at Rohan whose eyes went wide and nostrils flared. It was obvious Reese hadn't warned Rohan of his intentions. Erikah walked over to Reese absolutely beaming and planted a loving kiss directly on his lips. Rohan clenched his fists and twitched forward. Jake reached his hand out across Rohan’s chest, stopping him from launching across the fire.

_What the hell Erikah, shiny new toy and Rohan, what, just doesn't exist?  
_

Jen stepped forward, revealing that she was next and beginning her speech. Jake could hear Rohan’s heavy breathing next to him as she spoke.

“Mate you have to take a breath, I know this was a surprise, but we can handle it later.” Rohan nodded his head and turned to Jake.

“What if someone really is going home tonight? What if now that’s me because this prick stole my girl without giving me the chance to talk to her?”

“One step at a time mate.” Jake gestured with both palms facing down, trying to get Rohan to slow his reaction.

“The boy I want to couple up with is Tim!”

Tim strolled over to Jen and threw his arms around her.

_He’s a clown and that’s a weird pairing but they both really seem excited._

“Good for you mate!” Jake called out to Tim, throwing Jen a wink. Allegra stepped forward next.

“I’d like to couple up with this boy because our relationship is so intense, and seeing how other people in the villa have been acting lately,” she took a long judgmental glare at Levi, “I just really feel lucky to be with someone who always has my back.” Allegra flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Not a surprise, I want to couple up with Miles. Jake could see Dax shifting in her seat as Tim and Jen whispered to her.

_I can’t decide if I’m happy not to be the only one who knows how shady Levi is, or if I’m upset I agree with Allegra._

Miles and Allegra finally sat down as Cherry’s phone beeped. Cherry stood up in front of the group biting the inside of her cheek. Jake couldn’t help but notice the way her gold silken dress clung to her body and wonder if he’d made the right decision about coupling up.

“So, I was really hoping I wouldn’t be choosing in this position. Going before Dax makes so much of this a lot harder for me.” Jake looked up and realized Cherry was looking directly at him, her shaped brows turned down in disappointment. “I wanted to take this chance to apologize to all of you, especially Dax, for my part in everything that happened this week. What I’m about to say is probably not what anyone expects but I hope it shows I stand by my word and I really want Dax to have the opportunity to pursue whoever really makes her happy.”

The islanders murmured to each other sending ‘oohs’ around the circle as Dax smiled at Cherry and mouthed a simple ‘thank you.’

“I want to couple up with this boy because he’s fun and adventurous. He always put a smile on people faces and I think he deserves to feel chosen after what’s happened to him tonight. The boy I want to couple up with is Rohan.”

_Thank heavens he’s safe._

“What?!” Erkiah’s voice rang out over the faint responses of the other islanders. Rohan raised an eyebrow at Erikah and walked over to Cherry. He kissed her politely on the cheek as they sat down on the bench together. Dax’s phone beeped and she stepped forward. Jake’s stomach sank.

“Alright, well, obviously this decision hasn’t been easy. It’s probably been the hardest thing I’ve had to do since being here in the villa. I’ve spent so much time going back and forth on this, I realized I didn’t spend any time actually getting to know this person. I don’t know if they’re right for me, but I think that’s the point of second chances.”

_Fuck. I knew it, fuck._

I’d like to couple up with this person because I want to know what being their partner is actually like, I want to get to know them better. Obviously, he’s made mistakes here in the villa, but at the end of the day, we all have to try to find a way forward together. The person I want to couple up with is Levi.” Levi broke into a wild grin and ran up to Dax grabbing her around the middle and lifting her up into a spin. As he slid her back down to the floor he put his hands onto her cheeks and kissed her forehead.

_All about the fucking show._

____________________________________________

Just as she’d promised Talia had chosen Jake leaving Mason single, but fortunately not dumped from the island. A text had announced an audience vote and another dumping tomorrow, but the islanders had spent the better part of an hour easing the tension during the cocktail party. Even Mason seemed to be enjoying himself as he repeatedly tossed Tim in the pool fully clothed for continually losing bets at beer pong. Jake was four shots in with a triple in his glass as he sat at the fire pit, sipping slowly, watching the party from afar. He was leaning his elbows on his knees as Talia approached, her own drink in hand.

“So are you going to tell me what’s giving you crazy eyes?” She dropped down on the bench next to him and placed her hand on his back and began to rub small circles over his spine.

“I’m fine Tals. He just,” he paused to take a sip, “he just fucking sucks.” Jake rubbed his thumb and pointer finger over his eyes. “Anyone, anyone else in this villa would be so fucking grateful, I would be so fucking grateful, and he just wants to win her as a prize.” Jake looked up at Talia. “He found out about me and her, I guess from rumors, or from Reese seeing it on TV,” he took a large swig from his glass, “and he’s intentionally winding me up about it all, and it makes me want to just…”

“Swing a mean right hook?” Talia punched him playfully on the shoulder and Jake chuckled.

“Yea, something like that.”

“Jake. He is a fucking twat, and I can tell from your face, and the way you’re tackling that whiskey, that what you really want isn’t to hit him.” Jake sat up straight to lean against the back of the bench. He ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath as doubt set into his bones.

“Why do I remember being high making everything feel so much simpler? I know that it wasn’t, I know that’s not who I am anymore, but it’s so hard not to just want to escape for a bit.”

“Probably because the stakes weren’t the same, Jake. You were a kid, you had no career, you didn’t really know what it meant to love other people or love yourself. And because that’s what drugs do.” She rested her hand on his knee and leaned her head on his shoulder. Jake wrapped his arm around her. “You have to leave if this feeling gets stronger. You have every reason to love her, she’s amazing, but the world is going to look really different for all of us when we get back to the outside. I love her, but I love you more, and she’s not worth relapse. The villa is not worth that.” Jake threw back the remainder of his glass and squeezed Talia to him.

“There’s something I have to go do.”

____________________________________________

“Mmmmm, moments with you are consistently the most peaceful moments I get here.” Dax laid out on the terrace bench looking at the stars with her head in his lap. Jake leaned back sipping from his refilled whiskey. “I don’t know if I’d make it through all this without you soldier.”

“Happy to help.” Jake moved to stroke her hair but held back, resting his hand on his knee as the sounds around him continued to fade and his field of vision narrowed completely to her. “So you’re feeling ok about tonight then, with the recoupling?”

“I don’t really know yet, I mean, it’s sort of weird, I thought I’d feel satisfied finally getting to this place with Levi, but I still do feel a bit nervous.” She looked up at him from his lap, the gold in her eyes glowing with a luminous reflection of the moon.

“I don’t mean to pry, I’m just curious.” He tried to sip his drink, but the glass slipped off the corner of his lips sending a few drops onto his shirt. “What exactly did he do that earned your trust back?”

“It wasn’t one thing really. He did apologize, eventually, for kissing Cherry and how he treated me the day after. I can’t tell if he was saying what he meant or what I wanted to hear, but I feel like I won’t know until I give him a chance to back it up with action.” Jake saw worry flicker behind her starlight eyes.

“And is that what you want? To be waiting around for him to prove he’s going to be loyal to you?”

“I think. Right? Like that was the point of tonight, choosing him was saying I was willing to wait and see.”

“No, I get that you’re willing to wait, but what do you **want**? What do you want from Levi that makes you so willing to give him chance after chance?” She pursed her lips and sat up pulling her legs underneath her.

“Earlier, when Rohan mentioned I’m not actually working right now, and you asked why.” Jake set his hand on her knee. “I was also in the car accident that killed my parents. I had to have a bunch of procedures done because I basically broke my entire right arm. But, I really admired the doctors that took care of me, they're why I went to medical school, why I wanted to become a surgeon.” She swallowed deeply. “I was asked to leave my program this year because there was some nerve damage that the doctors didn’t catch, and as the nerve damage got worse I started to realized I can’t hold my right hand steady anymore - which is a problem when you’re cutting into someone’s heart. Dax lifted her hand off her lap and held it out to Jake. Her fingers trembled in front of him.

“And so I’ve lost my family, I lost my friends when I spent six years doing nothing but school, I lost the one thing I was passionate about, the only thing that made me interesting, and now it feels like the only thing I’ve got left is my body.” Jake could see her slight frame shrink even smaller as she leaned her head into her hands. “And being here, I just can’t escape wanting to be wanted. Like because the only thing I have to offer someone is just sex, the worst feeling ever is someone not wanting to fuck me. And at every turn it’s felt like for Levi I’m never enough, first with Jen, then with Cherry, but now” she paused finally looking back up at him. “This whole time I've just wanted to be the only thing he wants, and I feel like, maybe that’s within reach now.”

_Only your body? The only thing you have to offer? Fuck Dax._

“Have you noticed the way anyone other than Levi looks at you? The way Mason fought for a chance with you after things ended with Cherry? The way Talia wanted to break the rules of Villa to pursue you?” Jake took her face in his hands. “The way I look at you from across every room.” He paused. “You have so much more to offer than your body, and fucking hell, if Levi doesn’t make you feel wanted for all of that he’s absolutely daft.”

“What do you mean the way **you** look at me?”

“No, I just.” Jake’s heart began pounding in his ears and all the thoughts in his brain became scrambled. He couldn't. "Because… " Now wasn't the time, she looked so vulnerable and so confused. He would wait until there was a better more romantic moment. “Because… we’re friends.”

_Coward. Fucking Coward._


	27. Secrets, Secrets, Are No Fun

Sweat dripped down his back, and he could feel the cold tile of the wall behind him as he pressed against it. Jake pushed up on his toes, struggling to alleviate some of his own weight that had been pulling down on the handcuffs, causing them to dig into the bones below his thumbs. Jake could barely see a few feet ahead of him in the dimly lit room, but he could tell someone was there with him. A door burst open on the opposite side of the room. A wave of air and streams of sunlight crashed through the frame, momentarily turning the room into a whirl of dust and wind. Jake blinked back tears as the dust, and bright light stung his eyes. As his vision cleared, he could see the shadow of a tall, muscular figure standing just inside the door frame. He craned his neck forward, squinting his eyes to try and bring the figure in focus, but after minutes of trying and calling out, he couldn’t.

Just then, the smell of vanilla and cinnamon filled the air around him, and he began to hear the moans.

_“Mmmmmmmmm…..”_

Jake pulled harder and harder at the cuffs holding him to the wall, tension building in his entire body, the scent and the sound becoming stronger.

_“Mmmmmmm.…..oh oh…”_

The figure remained in shadow as a long delicate arm shot up behind it and sensuously wrapped around the figure's neck and threaded its fingers into the figure’s hair. Jake felt a swell of heat run through his body as the light streaming through the door abruptly went out. Filament lights hanging down from the ceiling began to glow dimly and brighten at a slow, steady pace. He could see that the figure, gaining colour and definition in the softer light, now had two bronze arms around its neck and two strong bronze legs wrapped tightly around its waist. The figure had become two, and it was no longer standing still.

_“Oh fuck baby please, yes, please don’t stop, please don’t stop.”_

Though the figure’s back was to him and wore no clothes, Jake could tell it was Levi that Dax was wrapped around. He could see the top of Dax’ head as she pressed her forehead into Levi’s chest and her long chocolate curls spilt over his shoulder. She shouted in pleasure over and over, digging her nails into his back, and bouncing up and down against the force of his thrusts inside her. Jake’s mouth went completely dry at the realization of what was in front of him. He began to pull more violently on his restraints while desperately looking around the room for a door, a window, any way he could escape. They were both groaning and grunting now, becoming breathless as they edged toward climax. The air in the room grew heavier and harder to breathe, and Jake felt the slick cuffs start to pinch as they closed tighter onto his wrists.

_“Please, god, please stop.”_ He shouted, _“Fucking, just let me out, please.”_ His throat felt instantly hoarse from the intensity of his screams, and the temperature of his skin was nearly boiling. Dax lifted her head and planted a gentle kiss on Levi’s cheek whose motion immediately stopped. With her body still wrapped around him, she looked up over Levi’s shoulder directly at Jake, her eyes glowing bright gold.

_“I wish I could-”_ She furrowed her brows and broke eye contact for a moment. As she looked back up at him, the room went cold. _“- but when he’s tired of me, I’ll need you.”_ She paused and bit her lip seductively. “ _Just try not to watch…”_ She winked and then dropped her forehead back to Levi’s chest as he continued to fuck her.

“GUYS, I got a text!!” Jen’s squeal ripped Jake from the clutches of sleep as he caught his breath in the back of his throat.

“What’s going on?” Talia whispered as she rolled over to face him, letting her arm drape onto his chest. “The fuck… are you alright, why are you so sweaty?”

“Just warm, I guess. Someone has a text.”

“Why do all the texts come like first thing in the morning?” Rohan sleepily called out across the room.

_He’s not wrong, fuck._

Jake sat up in bed, adjusting his pillow behind him. “Go on, read it then.” He rubbed his hand over his eyes, trying to wipe the images of his dream from behind his eyelids.

“Oooooooooo,” Jen squeaked “It’s my turn to go to the store with someone, and we’ll be cooking lunch today.” She looked back down at her phone. “Wow, lunch is like a real meal and everything.” Jake looked over at Dax who was awake but watching the scene while resting her head on a sleeping Levi’s chest.

_“when he’s tired of me, I’ll need you.”_

“Ok, you have to take sweet cheeks, he’s literally a chef and when Dax took him they only made us dessert.” Rohan tossed an exaggerated glare at Dax.

“It’s not our fault,” she smiled drowsily, “we had a budget to stick to.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Erikah chimed in from across the room. Rohan’s face dropped at his former partner's contradiction. “Just take who you want to spend the day with, take Tim, we’ll have a fine lunch regardless.”

Dax sat up sharply a suddenly sober look on her face. “No, Tim literally couldn’t identify a single kitchen instrument. Jake should go. You should take Jake.”

_“try not to watch…”_

“Um, I think honestly I just, I really want to spend the morning with Tim.” Tim yawned and stretched out his arms, turning over to smile at Jen. He livened up rather quickly at the sight of everyone starting towards his bed.

“What’s going on?”

“I got the text to visit the store, and you’re coming with me,” Jen smiled, “We’re cooking lunch today, hun.” A gigantic smile grew on his face as he hopped out of bed and began rapping. The whole room broke out into rhymes and laughter and resident grumps, Miles and Allegra, complained of the noise.

_Good grief._

“C’mon babes, let’s get on our way.” Jen tossed the duvet off her legs and sprung up towards the dressing rooms with Tim in tow.

“Let me know if you forget what any of the kitchen tools are,” Jake called out throwing a pillow at Tim’s back.

“You joke now, but you’re not going to be laughing when you try our meal!” Tim picked up the pillow and launched it back, narrowly missing Jake, but sending it crashing into Talia.

“HEY!”

“Sorry.” Tim scurried out of the room before Talia had a chance to retaliate. Jake looked back towards the bed where Dax was cuddling up under Levi’s arm. Levi was rousing slowly and drawing out kisses along the top of her head.

_This is going to be so much worse than I thought._

Dax caught eyes with Jake, but he quickly broke the contact as he felt a tightness begin to grow in his chest. He hurried out of the room without even glancing back.

____________________________________________

Jake spent the rest of the morning fighting off images, both real and imagined, of Dax and Levi. Nothing seemed to help. Not the coffee or the tea. Not helping Tim and Jen with their cooking. Not sunning with Talia. Not the more than two hours he’d been the gym. He could make it, at most, 3 minutes before her voice rang through his head.

_“I swear you and I have that spark, that ease you know? …_

_I want you right now, so that for as long as possible, being powerless is my choice, and the only thing I can think about is how you feel inside me..._

_the worst feeling ever is someone not wanting to fuck me. And at every turn it’s felt like for Levi I’m never enough…_

_I just, I've invested so much into Levi, and I don't want to fuck up the friendship you and I have…_

_\- but when he’s tired of me, I’ll need you…_

… _none of that seems to matter. I can’t get him out of my head.”_

_FUCK._

Jake slammed his fist into the punching bag sending pain searing up through his knuckles and into his forearm. He struck forward again, and again, desperate for any feeling to take a stronger hold of his thoughts than his desire for her. Finally, one of his blows did the trick. Jake’s arm recoiled in pain.

“Oh shit.” The tape around his right knuckles was quickly turning a deep maroon. “ah fuck fuck fuck.” Jake jogged over to the towel rack and after grabbing one quickly wrapped his hand and made his way upstairs to the bathroom. “Fucking idiot… “ He muttered under his breath as he slowly unravelled the towel and the tape from his hand, exposing multiple places where his skin had attempted to blister but instead broke.

“Hey, Jen and Tim said lunch is…” Rohan’s eyes went wide. “Woah, mate, what did you do?”

“I just overdid it a bit in the gym.” Jake cautiously rubbed at his hand under a stream of cold water running down the drain bright pink.

“Overdid it - yea clearly dude. How long were you at it? Your entire hand is cut open.” Rohan’s kind voice was full of genuine worry. “Do I need to get the medic?”

“No. Don’t. I’m fine.” Jake didn’t look up. “I’ll just re-tape it here in a second. I don’t want to cause a scene and mess up the lunch.” Rohan laughed warmly.

“The lunch is not going to be any good.” He smiled and walked forward, reaching out to Jake. “You bleeding out in the bathroom is probably more important than whatever weird meatballs Tim has concocted,” he laughed again. “Come on just let me –“ Jake cut him off with a shout.

“I’ve fucking got it, Rohan.” Rohan took a step back and stood silently as Jake turned off the sink. He set his hands down on the edge and let his head hang while releasing a deep breath. Rohan grabbed a towel hanging next to him and tossed it onto the counter next to Jake.

“Fine. I’ll tell everyone you’ll be down in a second.” His flat affect and subdued tone sent a shiver of guilt down Jake’s spine. Rohan turned and left the room and headed down the stairs.

_None of this is Rohan’s fault, mate. Fuck._

Jake finished re-wrapping his hand and arrived at the table just as Jen was serving up the lunch. Some of the islanders had already started to eat. He dropped down next to Talia as the islanders began to comment.

“Guys, I’ve got to say, I’m impressed.” Miles was shovelling forkful after forkful of the spaghetti dish into his mouth.

“Bruv,” Mason added, slapping his palm down on the table, “I actually have to agree.” Jake reached up to grab his fork and taste the dish in front of him.

“What that hell happened to you?” Talia whispered, pointing her nose in the direction of his hand.

“It’s nothing. I hit the bag wrong over in the gym.” Jake finally got a taste of the dish.

_Honestly not terrible._

“I would believe it was nothing if Rohan hadn’t told me what a dick you were when he went to get you.” Jake ignored her continuing to eat.

_Fucking hell._

“You’ve done yourself proud Tim,” Jake called out, a bogus smile across his face. “This tomato sauce really came out well.” Jake lifted his glass towards Tim.

“It’s all thanks to our secret ingredient!” Tim replied boldly. Jake could feel Talia’s gaze on the back of his neck as he leaned over his plate.

“What’s that then?” Jake pressed on, still refusing to turn around.

“So that’s the game you’re playing today?” She whispered, leaning forward and close to him. “And here I was, thinking we were friends who relied on and trusted on each other.” He looked over his shoulder at her raising a disapproving eyebrow.

“It’s nothing Tals, just having a tougher time holding together today.”

“It’s tinned soup. I put a load in the soup when you and Jen weren’t looking.”

“Having a tough day isn’t the same as bursting your knuckles and going off on a friend.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t push me right now Talia. Not, fuck like, in the middle of everyone.”

“AHH TEXT!” Allegra’s screech rang out above all the lunch chatter.

_Fuck_

> **Islanders, how well do you really know each other? Secrets will be revealed in today’s challenge ‘Underneath It All.’ Get ready for some revelations… #GoingDown #SecretsOut**

____________________________________________

“Ohhhh I get it, this is basically just giant girls versus guys beer pong.” Rohan smiled. Jake looked out at the challenge deck where 12 full-size buckets had been set up in identical triangles across the middle of the deck over a green carpet the delineated the playing field.

“Yea mate,” Levi slapped Rohan spiritedly on the back, “chucking balls into water is pretty much my thing. I’m all about this.” Jake walked up behind Rohan and Levi and took his place in line.

“Right, of course, you are, because you definitely don’t have any secrets, you’re keeping from the rest of us?” Jake’s jaw clenched tight as he looked at Levi.

“Right.” Levi smiled back, animosity burning in his eyes. “Just like you Jakey-boy. Squeaky fucking clean.” Levi patted Jake on the shoulder then turned back to Rohan. Jake felt a buzz in his pocket.

“It’s me, guys.”

“Read it out!”

> **Jake, last night during an audience vote you were chosen as the most genuine male islander. As a prize (and to even out the teams) all your secrets are safe with us, and you’ll be leading today’s game. Grab the challenge cards at the front and draw two table tennis balls from the cup to get things rolling! #niceguy #5on5**

Jake jogged over to the head table and grabbed two. “Ok, first match up is Reese and Dax.” The pair walked to the centre of the platform and overdramatically shook hands and wished each other luck. The other islanders cheered and whooped as they both grabbed a ball and stood in position.

“Bring it on, Dax!” shouted Reese from across the game board. Dax threw the ball hard, and it bounced off the back lip of the central bucket.

“Don’t even worry babes,” Talia called from the line of girls behind her. “You’ll 1000% get it next time!” The girls cheered loudly for Dax and began laughing and chanting rhymes to discourage Reese. Reese stepped up and gently tossed the ball, letting it fall to the floor before reaching any of the buckets.

“Mate, c’mon! You can do better than that!!” Rohan called from the line of boys.

“I’d feel so bad soaking Dax though.” Mason let out a huge laugh.

“Bruv, feel bad or not we want to know secrets about the girls, plus everyone here was to see Dax dripping wet.” Jake looked back at Dax and, just for a second, thought of the way her wet naked body glistened the night they spent in the pool.

_He’s not wrong…_

“Hey!” Shouted Allegra, “Miles would very much like to keep his eyes to himself.

“Alright, alright” Jake continued, “Neither of you got it so Dax it’s back to you.” Dax skipped around the buckets to retrieve the ball and assumed her position again. This time she focused, narrowing her eyes on the buckets in front of Reese and tossing it carefully across the board. The ball landed neatly in the bucket at the point of the triangle as the islanders heard the satisfying splash of the ball hitting the water.

“Atta girl, swish!” Called Levi from the boy's line, winking at Dax and licking his lips.

“Bruv, she’s not on our fucking team.” Levi looked directly at Jake.

“She’s on mine, though.”

_Honestly, if he’d fucking meant that he would’ve been looking at her. Asshole._

Dax walked over to the bucket and took the ball out. “Eeeee” she squealed as she slowly turned it over on top of Reese. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She uttered her words in blended rapid succession as the girls cheered.

“Ok,” Jake called out to her, “so, the card says the secret is taped inside the bottom of the bucket. It’s a secret about one of the boys, and you can get an extra point for guess who it is correctly.” Dax reached her arm into the tall bucket and made a scriitching sound as she pulled the taped secret from inside.

“Ok, so it says – ‘On the first day in the villa this boy said he’d never been in love before and doubted he’d find it here in the villa. #heartofstone’”

“Wait is this going to be all secrets from like, when we’ve been here?” Tim’s eyes went wide. “How many secrets could there be?” Reese looked back at him seriously and shook his head.

“Plenty mate.” The girls huddled up into a small group whispering for a moment before Dax stepped back forward and cleared her throat.

“Um ok, so we think it might’ve been Mason.” Jake looked down at the spot mark #1 on the boy's column on his card.

“That is correct, two points for the girls.”

“No fucking wonder he kept grafting on Dax while he was with me.” Allegra rolled her eyes.

“Alright, don’t all look at me like I’m a robot, I’ve never felt it, and so I just didn’t know how I’d be able to tell if I was feeling it here.” Mason ran his hand over the side of his head.

“Don’t worry babes. You’ll know when you know.” Jen smiled at him and then turned to Jake. “Who’s next?”

“Ok, it’s Tim versus Allegra!” Tim and Allegra stepped up to the game, but Tim landed the ball in the bucket straight away. He ran to the girl's side immediately tossing the water from the bucket straight at Allegra.

“Fuck sake, that’s cold!” She wined, beginning to ring out her hair.

“Sorry, couldn’t help but nail it!” Tim laughed and pulled out the secret. “Ok so this girl didn’t tell, but she had a serious hook up with two different guys in the villa, just one day apart. #riskybusiness”

_Fucking hell…._

Tim turned back to the boys and ushered them into a huddle. The guys were significantly worse at whispering than the girls. Jake could just overhear their conversation.

“Alright fess up – we can get this if the lot of you admit who you’ve been fooling around with.” Mason looked up.

“I’ve fooled with Cherry, but I’m pretty sure I’m the only one. Mates this is raw, which ones of you are brothers now?”

_Reese already knows, so does Levi… does it fucking matter… does she want me to be a secret?_

“Look, I know it, but it’s because I was on the outside and I don’t really think that’s fair.” Reese opened his palms up to the other guys and shrugged. “You lot can decide to tell or not, but I’m backing out.” Mason ran his hand over his hair.

“I didn’t realize the secrets were going to be this. Personal? I don’t know.”

“It was Dax,” Levi said brusquely. “If Reese saw it on the telly then there isn’t much point of keeping it secret.” The boy’s faces all dropped as Tim did the math.

“Obviously if it was none of us here except Levi…” all the eyes in the circle turned to look at him.

_Fucking hell._

“Do you guys have an answer?” Tim stepped forward cracking his knuckles apprehensively.

“Yeah um, sorry, we think it was Dax.” His head turned down, and he rubbed his hand over his face. Jake turned to look at Dax, who was biting the side of her mouth.

“Wow. Ok,” Erikah sighed.

“Dax, I don’t believe it. Who…? oh….” Jen turned her eyes down and pursed her lips as it dawned on her. “I guess having Cherry snake him behind your back was just kind of karma then.

“Wait,” Cherry called out but who was the – “Jake looked at Talia his eyes wide with frustration and his cheeks hot with humiliation. Her face softened, erasing the tension between them from the morning as she stepped forward to interrupt Cherry.

“Ok let’s come back to this later shall we? There’s like a hundred secrets left, and all the stuff is in the past now so.”

“Right,” Jake added, “moving swiftly on the next pairing is Jen versus Rohan.” Jen and Rohan took their place behind the buckets as Jen launched her first throw across the game. It was clearly too strong and landed square at Rohan’s feet.

“Ahh oops!” she said, looking genuinely disappointed.

“Don’t worry babes. You’ll get it next time when Rohan misses too!” Dax called out to her, smiling, and Jen smiled back. Still, they were wrong. Roha gave the ball a perfect arched toss landing it directly in the girls first bucket.

“Yes, boss!” Rohan shouted as he punched the air. He jogged over to the bucket and gently poured it over Jen’s shoulders, being careful to avoid her face and hair.

“Thanks, Rohan,” she said, smiling and returning to the line.

“Um ok yikes. “This girl said in the beach hut that she’s not super attracted to her current partner but might have an eye on one of his mates.’”

_Shit these secrets really are not holding back, it was all going to come out sooner or later but…_

Miles stepped forward, “Well, it’s not Allegra, clearly.”

“We know mate,” Tim rolled his eyes, “you two shag like rabbits.”

“Well, when your lady can’t get enough…”

“Mate enough, who are we guessing?” Mason looked at the other guys, “I honestly don’t know which of the girls it could be. I thought they all seemed … I don’t know. Happy?”

“It’s me guys, or rather, um, Cherry.” Rohan faced the girls. “She’s not been snaky about it, she told me, and we’re absolutely fine.” He smiled, “She’s a lovely partner, even if she doesn’t fancy me.” He winked at her and then tossed the ball back to Jake. Jake looked at Cherry, who softly smiled and bit her lip.

_I need to apologize to him later…_

He reached into the cup of names, “Next is Talia against Levi!” Levi intertwined his fingers and stretched his linked arms up over his head.

“Now is my time to shine boys.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Levi continued stretching ostentatiously as Talia looked up at Jake and mouthed the words ‘for you.’ Before Levi had even approached the board, Jake had tossed Talia the ball, and she’d landed is practically soundlessly directly in a corner bucket.

“Sorry, what were you saying Levi?”

“OOooooHShit!” Mason jeered, “Mate, you just got played.” Levi looked across the game at Talia.

“What the hell was that?” He gestured toward the buckets in shock.

“I’ve won 4 international tours playing netball for England. I just don’t feel the need to brag about it all the time.” She cocked her head to the side, blew him a self-assured kiss and then poured the bucket directly over his head.

_My girl._

“This boy was talking about his current partner during the first week in the villa, and he said to a mate that he fancied her for a bit of fun, but that she wasn’t his type for something serious. #notmarriagematerial”

_Oh my god._

Jake’s eyes flew directly to Levi, who’d turned a deep shade of red. Talia held the card with the secret and walked back to huddle with the girls. After a long moment, she walked back up to the buckets with a devastated look in her eyes.

“Honestly boys we love you all to bits and think the world of you. We couldn’t accuse any of you saying something like that, so we’re taking one for the group and just going to say Mason because we know it’s not him since he doesn’t currently have a partner.” Talia put her hands on her hips as her eyebrows turned down. “Whoever it ends up being, yikes mate.” She returned to her spot in line where the girls were holding hands, and some had arms around each other.

Levi stepped forward, “I guess Jake’s got it on that card or whatever so, I might as well fess up. But Dax I swear that was taken out of context.”

_No, it fucking wasn’t._


	28. What Are You Getting?

The rest of the afternoon had been a complete blur. The reality was settling in that a couple was going to be sent home from the island tonight, and everyone spent that afternoon wondering if it would be them. Jake got dressed early and spent most of his evening relaxing outside alone, avoiding conversation at all costs - the voice in his head had been loud enough all day. He couldn’t help but admit it might be nice to get sent home, to leave this place behind as if it’d never happened. Still, every time he thought of leaving, he remembered she would still be here. Now, he sat on the firepit bench next to Talia, his arm around her, surrounded by the other islanders. The only sound was the crackling of the fire as they all held their breath waiting for someone’s phone to chime.

Jake leaned his head down, so his mouth was sitting gently atop Talia’s head. “I’m really sorry about earlier.” He whispered, “You’re the person who had been most consistently on my side since the moment I got here.” She looked up at him as he continued. “If we get sent home, your friendship has been the most amazing thing to come out of this whole experience for me, and I just had to say that before anything happened.” A phone beeped across the circle. Talia leaned warmly back into him, agreeing in his sentiment without a word. 

“It’s me.” Dax’s sultry voice was weak as she stood up.

****

> **The public has been voting for their favourite islanders. The couples with the fewest votes risk being dumped from the Island tonight. The couples with the fewest votes are -**

Dax sat back down as Jake’s phone beeped. Talia leaned away from him as he opened up the message and stood.

_No, fuck._

Jake looked across the circle his eyes unexpectedly welling up.

****

> **Cherry and Rohan –**

He sat back down as a wide-eyed Talia grasped his hand tightly. Erikah’s phone beeped next, and she stood.

****

> **\- and Allegra and Miles.**

Silence returned like a cloud over the islanders as they sat waiting for the next text.

“Oh, shit, it’s me.” Tim ran his hand along the side of his head as he stood to read.

****

> **The rest of you now have a big decision to make. You must vote for the couple you want to remain in the Villa. The couple with the least votes will be dumped immediately. Each of the four couples not at risk will receive one vote. Mason will also receive a single vote.**

“Oh, man.” Tim sighed. “Right, let’s not take more time on this than we need to, I guess.” He offered his hand to Jen and helping her stand before they walked off toward the daybeds. Jake and Talia wandered over to the beanbags where they sat and began to discuss.

“So, this is a no brainer, right?” Talia’s blue eyes stared straight at Jake. “Rohan and Cherry have to stay.”

“Absolutely, I mean other than you he’s my best mate here and, Cherry - ” Jake trailed off.

“You can say it - she’s so fucking into you.” Talia smiled and laughed quietly for the first time since the dumping had begun.

“I don’t want her around just because she might fancy me.” Jake rolled his eyes and took his phone from his pocket to cast their vote.

“I didn’t say that’s the only reason you wanted her around – it’s just – part of it.” Talia chuckled. “You’re sending the text?”

“Yeah.” Jake tapped away at his phone as Talia arched her back over the side of the bean bag to look up into the sky.

“Sooooo, since we’ve got a minute, are you going to actually tell me what the fuck was going on with you this morning?”

“I had this dream…” Jake described for her his dream of watching Dax and Levi, and his memory of it was hazy. He couldn’t remember how he’d ended up in the room, or what the room really looked like, but he remembered her words. “And she looked at me and said, ‘when he gets tired of me, I’ll need you.’” Jake placed his hands behind his head and leaned back into them. “I know it’s stupid to have such a real response to something that was a dream, but, it just made me really think about all the moments I’ve been holding onto telling myself that I have a chance. The moments that come to mind of when I think about why I’m falling in love with her, they’re real. They’re the moments we spend laughing, and talking, and just being with each other. But Tals, all the moments I’ve been clinging to hoping that she might ever feel the same way, they’re moments she was trying to forget Levi. And seeing them in bed together this morning, how she looked at him, knowing how he’s manipulating this whole situation, I just lost it.” Jake sat up and rubbed his hand over his face. “I felt so … I just couldn’t think about anything else; I couldn’t shake the anxiety.”

“Aw my love,” Talia sat up, “you’re going to be ok with or without her. You know that, right? Like I get it, and I want you to be happy, and I’m 1000% sure that you’d treat her so much better than Levi. But have you considered for a second what you deserve too?” Talia reached out and grabbed his hand. “Sleep on it handsome, I could certainly tell you, but I feel like you have to get there on your own too.” She smiled warmly and reached both hands straight out in front of her. “Now help me up, in retrospect, this dress is far too tight for a beanbag.” Jake laughed and pulled her up into a tight hug. “You’re, like, one of the best people I’ve ever known Jake Wilson.”

Jake and Talia were one of the last pairs to return to the fire pit. Allegra and Miles both looked red and puffy while Cherry and Rohan stood stoically holding hands. Jake felt a twinge in the back of his throat as he caught eyes with Rohan.

_Shit, I really don’t want him to go._

Jake paused, clasping a hand on Rohan’s shoulder and pulling him into a hug. He could feel Talia’s hand on his back, and he turned back with her to finally take their seats at the fire pit. Dax and Levi arrived last. Jake could tell from her expression and the way she was chewing on the inside of her cheek that their conversation had not gone smoothly.

_What could they have disagreed about?_

Dax sat down across the circle from him, staring directly into the fire, as Levi dropped down next to her. He reached to slip his hand into hers, but she pulled away and crossed her arms. She turned and whispered something to him, but Jake could only make out one word she’d said.

_Cherry._

“Look, before we hear the results,” Jen flattened the front of her skirt as she stood. “Um, well, no matter what happens, I know in here we’ve all made decisions that we maybe weren’t the best at the time, and I know that, like, we’re not all besties, but at the end of the day we’re really the only people who are going to know what this has been like.” Jen let out a soft breath “So, I just wanted to say I love all of you, and I’ll never forget the time we’ve had here in the Villa. I truly hope we can have each other’s backs since we’ll all eventually end up out in the real world.” She sat down as Tim put his arm around her and smiled. As Jen planted a sweet kiss on his cheek, Cherry’s phone beeped.

“Oh god. I have to read it.” Her previously calm demeanour melted away. As she held up her phone to read the message, Jake could see her hands began to visibly tremble.

****

> **Islanders your votes have been counted. With a margin of four votes to one, you have chosen to dump Allegra and Miles.**

Jake released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

_Thank god._

____________________________________________

_What a fucking night…_

After Allegra and Miles were driven away in their Jeep, it was clear how exhausting the dumping had been. Everyone immediately and nearly silently tucked into bed, except for Jen and Tim who had won a night in the hideaway for being the crowd favourite. Not wanting to subject himself to any more unwelcome dreams, Jake had poured himself a whiskey and stowed silently away on the roof terrace with the hope of watching the stars. As he sat trying to relax, he heard voices drifting up from the kitchen below.

“Are you really trying to shift the blame to the producers here Levi? It’s not their fault. Just like everything else you’ve put me through, it’s yours.” Jake could hear even from a distance that Dax was pushing words out through tears.

“I mean we wouldn’t be having this fucking conversation if it wasn’t for them putting it in that stupid game earlier, there’s literally nothing to worry about.” She laughed angrily in a short sharp burst.

“That’s all you’ve got to say? That’s all you’ve got to fucking say?” Dax sighed deeply.

“I just don’t understand how this is a big fucking deal, like, I’ve obviously changed my mind, I broke up with Jen – for you – I let you try to vote off Cherry and Rohan earlier even though they obviously were the ones who should stay. And now it’s like, you’re fighting me over for something I said weeks ago that’s not even true anymore?”

_They were the one vote for Cherry and Ro… shit, Cherry’s made it clear she doesn’t want Levi, why would she want them gone?_

“It’s unbelievable that you don’t understand why I’m upset. Obviously, OBVIOUSLY feelings can change, but do you understand how hurtful it is to hear that you said that about me. A bit of fucking fun? You basically said I’d be a good lay, and now looking back on our first night together how am I supposed to believe that meant anything? You stayed with Jen for days after that.”

“Can you please keep your voice down?” Jake could hear the disdain dripping from Levi’s words. “Why are you acting so crazy right now?”

_He’s in the wrong, and he’s just completely brushing off her feelings. This guy is fucking rich._

“See its that.” Her voice was lowered. “Aside from the fact that you said something degrading about me, you’re completely ignoring that fact that you’ve hurt me. As if because it’s in the past, or because you claim to feel differently now, I’m not allowed to have feelings about it.” Jake heard her slam a glass down onto the counter. “All I wanted was an apology, for you to recognize that what you’d said, on national TV no less, was unkind, and that you were sorry. But you immediately claimed it was taken out of context and got defensive that I even asked. You don’t ever take my feelings seriously, Levi.” Her volume was once again increasing. “You didn’t when you fucked me and stayed with Jen, you didn’t when you snogged Cherry and then went on a fucking date with her, before trying to blame Erikah, and you didn’t again today.” Jake could hear Dax gasping for breath in between each word and sniffling. His heart suddenly felt like it weighed 1000 kilos. He stormed back inside, gulping down the rest of his whiskey and crawling into bed with Talia. A bad dream couldn’t be worse than listening to her cry without being able to do a single thing about it.

____________________________________________

“Sooo. How’s your hand?” Rohan looked across the kitchen island at Jake, who was making coffee.

“It’s a lot better, a wrap and a good night’s sleep really helped.” Jake set the kettle down and walked around the island to sit next to Rohan. “Look, I need to apologize for yesterday. You’re one of my best mates in hear and having an off day is no excuse to snap, and just, thinking about you potentially leaving last night-” he trailed off scratching the back of his neck.

“Jake, it's fine.” Rohan flashed one of his million-dollar smiles as he tossed his hair out of his eyes. “There’s been girls that drive me crazy too. I get it. I was more worried about you really, you didn’t seem like yourself.” Jake rested his elbows on the counter.

“I haven’t felt like myself. I wanted to take your advice, right? So I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to finally tell Dax how I feel, but I keep wasting opportunities. And now, watching her with Levi. It’s just a lot, and I haven’t been handling it as well as I should.”

“I mean ok sure, yesterday you didn’t handle yourself perfectly, but, this place, it messes with your head. I’ve been up and out here since 6, mate. I got no sleep because my most recent ex, whom I fancied, was in the next bed over loudly shagging the guy who stole her.” Rohan laughed while rolling his eyes and sipped from his water. “Like this place is not normal, and so that fact you’ve managed to act normally to everyone around you for so long, that’s an accomplishment.” The kettle began to whistle, and Jake rushed up to pull it from the burner. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the apology, but, we’re good mate, you’re like my brother.” Jake smiled and poured the boiling water over the grounds. “So why do you think you’re avoiding talking to her?”

_Cause I’m an addict with an inclination to masochism?_

“Coz’ he’s afraid she already knows and has just been stringing him along as a back-up.” Talia wandered over to Jake’s vacated seat a bottle of sun cream in her hand. “Which like,” she continued as she popped open the lid and drizzled some of the lotion into her opposite palm. “That’s not an altogether irrational fear.” Rohan nodded curiously as he stood and walked over to the cabinet.

“So, if she admitted that to you, if she said ‘Jake, I’ve been stringing you along, but now I want you.’ Could you forgive that, would you still want to be with her?”

_Fuck, I don’t know._

“I don’t know. I think I would. But honestly, I think I’m more worried that she _doesn’t_ know. That telling her will just, change her image of me too much and then…” Talia paused her vigorous rubbing.

_I’ll lose her entirely._

“Then what? What the fuck are you getting out of this relationship or friendship or whatever except anxiety?” Talia put the sun cream bottle down on the counter. “She knows Jake. If you want to lay it out for her, I think that’s really brave, and I think you’ll probably get more concrete closure than just giving up. But fool you once, right? All this pain you’re dealing with, you have the power to get the answers you need or to just, move on.” Talia twisted her full lips into a frown; her expression softened by the empathy streaming from her bright blue eyes. “And, I just… knowing how much you deserve - I’m so tired of seeing you hurting over this.” Rohan set three mugs down on the counter.

“I don’t know. You say Dax knows, but does she really? Obviously, she knows you’re attracted to her, and you care about her but, mate, talking to me you keep dropping the word love. Dax is a good person, look at the way she treated Cherry, at the way she keeps hoping to find good in Levi. I mean, Talia, you’ve seen her and Jake together. I can’t believe she’d string you along mate, if she knew how deeply you felt.” All their words seemed like little marbles rolling around in his brain, ping-ponging back and forth like his head was a pinball machine and Rohan and Talia were playing for the high score. His confused and restless inner monologue had found its way to the mouths of his friends, and hearing it spoken back to him out loud was more than he could handle.

“I have to go get dressed,” he mumbled towards them before grabbing his mug and turning up to the bedroom.


	29. Hide and Seek

“You are absurd.” Rohan took a sip from the built-in straw on his water bottle. He was lying out on a bed with Cherry sitting cross-legged next to him. Jake, who was leaning on the next bed over, rolled his eyes.

“I’m not. It’s not irrational to ask someone to tone it down.” Rohan raised his palms to the ceiling and shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s **love** island, Jake. People are going to express their lovvveee.” Rohan’s voice curled like a teasing child on the schoolyard. Cherry giggled and straightened out her legs.

“I mean we’re all adults here. We’ve all shagged at home, and I’m sure every one of us has or has wanted to at some point in the villa. It’s just part of figuring out who you have chemistry with.”

The door at the end of the hallway thrust open. Dax was wearing a white crocheted bathing suit. The windows through the woven fabric left quite little to the imagination as she sauntered up to the group her full chest bouncing up and down.

_Fucking hell Dax, cut me some slack here…_

“What are you guys chatting about?” she chirped flopping down on her stomach at the edge of the bed next to Jake.

“Bit of a weird one to be honest,” Jake laughed, “After Erikah and Reese’s little show last night we were chatting about getting it on in the bedroom.

“It’s impolite and honestly, gross,” Jen whined from the bed behind Cherry. “Dax, do you mind people doing t when we’re in there? We all sort of said different things.” Jen rolled her eyes. Dax twisted her eyebrows in confusion and then smiled.

“I mean honestly it doesn’t really bother me.” She shrugged sipping from her water bottle.

“See, that’s what I said.” Rohan pointed to Dax.

“I mean it was pretty obvious it was going to happen, right?” She looked up at Jake and bounced her eyebrows.

“I agree with what Cherry said, which is like, no it’s not a big deal, but, it is a bedroom and people are trying to sleep. Try and remember everyone else is here too, right?” Cherry bit her lip and winked at Jake.

“I didn’t realize you and I had so much in common.” Dax cleared her throat forcefully.

“ANYWAY – “ she interrupted. Rohan squinted at Jake curiously. “I just mean, like it’s the easiest place to do it so, I just sort of expected it to happen.” Rohan nodded his head.

“Yea I guess like where else are you really gonna go?”

_The pool, the terrace, probably could make it work in the shower…_

“Well I mean, the bedroom is the obvious choice but not the only choice.” Cherry pursed her lips, a mischievous smile creeping across her eyes.

“No,” Jen interjected, “the hideaway is the obvious choice. It’s literally a private room for getting it on.”

“Jen, it’s not like we can just pop in there whenever we like.” Cherry pulled her legs into her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. “There’s loads of places that end up being just as private as the room everyone is asleep in.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I mean, no one is ever in the gym at night.”

“Woah, what?” Rohan sat up to look directly at her. Cherry turned a bright shade of pink as she began to giggle.

“Mason and I kind of got it on there once. And we’ve done it in the shower.”

_I knew it._

“Ohmigod Cherry are you serious?” Jen’s eyes practically fell out of her head.

“Yea, on the squat bench.” Cherry giggled.

“Wow, I can’t imagine doing something just, outside like that, completely in the open. I know guys are fine being naked outside, but like, I don’t know if I could do that. What about you, Dax?” Dax looked down at the floor as she sipped from her water.

“I mean, yeah, I’ve done stuff in the pool and on the terrace, so.”

_I wonder where she did it with… nope, stop, do not finish that thought._

Jake added thick sarcasm to his tone as he lowered his voice and leaned toward Dax. “Wow, out in the open air like that?” he smiled, “Really? Wouldn’t have pegged you for it.” He winked. “I think you’re braver than I am.” Dax subtly licked her bottom lip and turned back to face the group. Rohan ran his hand through his hair and swept his hand across the along of the bedroom.

“But wherever you are that’s not the hideaway there’s always a chance someone will find you, so you might as well be upfront about it and just do it in the bedroom.” The islanders all laughed brightly.

“I guess I sort of follow that logic,” Cherry said nudging Rohan with her shoulder.

“Honestly though,” Jen stood up “I bet there’s loads of place I could go in the villa, and you wouldn’t find me.” Jen crossed her arms, shooting a determined glare right at Rohan. Rohan took the bait and jumped up off the bed.

“Well go on then.”

“Wait what?”

“All of you try and hide, and if I find you within 20 minutes, then there’s no way you could hook up there without getting caught, so I win. If I don’t find you in time, you win.”

“What do we win?” Jen smiled competition gleaming across her face. Rohan stroked his chin for a moment and then snapped his fingers.

“No matter who my partner is, I will never shag in the main bedroom so you all can get your precious beauty sleep.” Cherry and Jen laughed.

“I’m so up for this.” Cherry grinned, and Dax laughed.

“Yea, I’ll play, what else are we supposed to do.” Dax crawled up onto her knees and then off the bed.

“Why not,” Jake laughed following Dax’s lead. “But you have to close your eyes and count out loud like proper hide-and-seek.” Rohan placed his hands over his eyes and began loudly counting. The islanders instantly scattered with Cherry heading to the garden door, Jen heading into the hallway, and Jake and Dax rushing toward the bathroom.

_Ok, ok. Shitttt where’s a good place?_

Jake was examining the space underneath a vanity when he felt a warm hand in his, and suddenly he was being pulled into the shower.

“Woahhh!”

“Shhhhh!” Dax raised a finger to her lips “he’ll find us if you’re shouting.” Dax leaned back against the tile, pressing herself into the corner and pulling him close to her. Her eyes lit up with excitement as she reached around him. “If we turn the water on hot, the door will get all fogged, and he might think someone is in here.”

“Wait I – “ Jake was interrupted as a crash of cold water landed on his back.

_Ah, fuck…_

He slammed his body forward, unintentionally pressing Dax flat up against his own body and the wall.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry” he eased away as the water began to warm. Dax giggled, and steam began to form around their feet.

“Don’t worry,” she smiled up at him leaving a small open space between her lips “There are a lot worse ways to be than pressed up against a wall by Jake ‘Sweet Cheeks’ Wilson.” Jake felt his heart begin to pound.

_Don’t Jake…_

“How long did he say we have to hide to win?” Jake felt the steam rising as the hot splash of the water burned around his feet.

“I think 20 minutes is what he said.” Dax placed a hand on Jake’s chest and began to twirl his chest hair between her fingers. “I wonder how we can pass 20 minutes time…” She turned her eyes up to him, licking her bottom lip.

_Now? Fuck Dax._

Jake felt blood rush between his legs, and he adjusted himself away from her to hide his arousal. The thin fibres of her bathing suit clung even more closely to her body, exposing her hard nipples as water poured down onto her.

_Fuck, what she does to me._

“I mean I know you can go for longer,” Dax bit the tip of her finger pulling it down over her bottom lip “but if 20 minutes is what we have…” She trailed off, turning her gaze down as she slid the hand on his chest down his abs to the waist of his swim trunks. The steam was completely clouding the door and mixing with the sweat forming on his searing skin. She spread her fingers wide and over his suit rubbed the palm of her hand tenderly across him, sending chills up his spine.

“Mmmmm I forgot how big you get,” Dax placed both hands on his waist and began to lower herself to her knees.

_You’ll regret this._

“Stop.” Jake's voice was quiet and firm. She stood up and placed a hand on his cheek.

“Rohan isn’t going to open the shower with it fogged like this, don’t worry.” She moved her hand to the back of his neck, pulling him close to her and kissing his neck as memories of pain and pleasure coursed through Jake’s mind.

_You’re going to fucking regret this._

Jake placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back.

“I said, stop.” He could feel the anger rising in his throat as the steam made it hard to catch his breath, “What happened with you and Levi last night?”

“What?” Dax crossed her brows and dropped her arms to her sides.

“You only want me when he hurts you. So just so I’m in the loop, what happened with Levi last night?

“Jake I – “

“Tell me I’m wrong.” Jake’s tone became more severe. “If you can tell me honestly that last night you kissed and went to bed, and woke up peachy this morning, and agreed you weren’t going to settle too quickly, then I'm yours.” Jake could feel his entire torso shaking as his ears began to ring. The colour drained from Dax’s face, and he could tell she was breathing heavier.

“I heard you fighting after we’d all gone upstairs, Dax.” The sweltering water stung into his back and down his legs as the muscles in his stomach began to spasm. “I can’t fucking do this anymore. I don’t know what you think we have, you and I, but I promise you, it can never be just friendship. I don’t want to do that. I want to be more than that.” Dax stared blankly at him; her eyes filling with steam and tears.

“Jake I didn’t – “

“I know you knew. The night we coupled up, I told you I was interested, but we never talked about it again. And honestly, that’s my fault; it is, it was my responsibility to ask for what I wanted or to tell you how I felt. And I was a coward, and I didn’t. So now, here I am. Fucking talking about it. Because no matter what I’m doing, no matter who I’m talking to, I’m thinking about you. I replay every moment I’ve touched you over and over in my head because I’ve never had a craving stronger than my desire to hold you. You are everything to me, so I’m done not talking about it.” Jake ran his hand across his mouth. “You know growing up I was always taught that that feeling, desire, isn’t something you should chase. That it fades, right? My parents got divorced, and I couldn’t help but think they were right, fuck the spark. Just look for someone you can like even when lust goes away.

Now I’m 29, and with every woman I’ve been with- I couldn’t escape doubt. I’d ask myself - ‘Will this really hold up or is it just spark?’ ‘What if I start to feel something, but it's just sparks for her, and then one day she’s just gone?’ Fucks sake Dax, I’m a goddamn Michelin recommended chef because it was easier to bury myself in work than get mugged off.” Jake turned to rinse his face in the stream of the shower attempting to conceal the tears streaming down his cheeks. As he turned back to Dax, he could see every muscle around her collar bone was taut.

“But with you, god with you, Dax. None of that ever mattered, those doubts never crossed my mind. With you, my world seems full of hope. With you, I feel seen. With you… I don’t care about the spark, because no matter how much I want to fuck you - and believe me, christ look at you, I always want to fuck you – I don’t love anything more than when you laugh. So I can’t do this, I can’t be your fucking security blanket Dax, not because I don’t want to bring you comfort or make you feel loved, but because at my very core Dax, I’m a fucking addict. And every time I have to let you go, it feels like withdrawal all over again.” Dax stood silently facing him, her lips moving slightly, forming the beginning of words that didn’t come out.

“AHA!” Rohan threw the shower door open “turning the water on was sneaky, but there are still officially two minutes left on the –“ As the steam dissipated so did the victory in Rohan’s voice.

“Excuse me.” Dax pushed past Rohan and rushed out of the bathroom, dripping water behind her.

_Fuck._

“What the hell, mate?” Rohan’s eyes went wide as he looked at Jake, who leaned back onto the shower wall behind him.

“Well. I told her.”

“Ohhh shit.” Rohan looked down at the floor and then out through the door in the direction Dax had run. “Look, mate, I’m sure that’s sort of a wild thing to hear from someone, give her some space for a bit and then see where she’s at.” Rohan reached for a towel and passed it to Jake who turned off the water. “I know it’s like noon but, you want a whiskey?”

“Um yeah, I’m going to take a second. Pour me some, and I’ll be down in a minute.” Jake vigorously rubbed the towel over his head and walked through the bathroom to his bedside table. He pulled the soft leather book from its hiding place in his drawer and carefully unwound the string holding it closed. He flipped through the thin broken pages scanning his writing and remembering the ex-loves.

_None of them were like her._

He arrived at a blank page and in the emptiness of the bedroom, began to write.

_Let me convince you._

_Cum to me,_

_Curl into my arms and hold_

_onto the heightened euphoria_

_curling around your tongue_

_building up in sweat, in wetness_

_streaming from your begging body_

_Come to me,_

_and never let go of these hands_

_that cling to you_

_the same way my lungs cling to air_

_Crawl to me,_

_and over the rustle of crumpled sheets_

_tell me you love me-_

_no, tell me you love me too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem adapted for this chapter is one I found uncredited on Wattpad years ago, I adore it and after some searching, I think it was done by a woman named Rose Vargas. I'm not familiar with her body of work but the original of this poem is longer and far more beautiful than my adapted version.


	30. To Tell the Truth

Jake made his way down the stairs, whiskey and Dax on his mind. As he arrived at the bottom of the stairs, Talia shoved a rocks glass into his hand, causing the whiskey and ice to slosh back and forth. Rohan was refilling his water bottle in the sink as he turned to look at Jake.

“Oh mate, you’ve really shifted the energy in this place. When I came down, Dax was pulling Jen over to the edge of the pool down there, and they’ve been at it since then.” Jake tossed the entirety of his glass back before continuing into the kitchen.

“What exactly did you say?” Talia added leaning forward to rest her elbows on the counter.

“Fuck, if I knew what I said I’d be happy to tell you, it sort of just came out.” What the fuck had he been thinking? Confessing his love to Dax in the middle of fucking hide-and-seek after rejecting her advances was not, at all, how he’d planned to tell her. He’d planned to tell her softly, stroking her hair under the stars. He’d planned to make sure she knew he wasn’t trying to pressure her; he was just trying to be honest. Then again, he’d also planned to tell her they could figure out how to be friends if she wasn’t interested, which wouldn’t have been honest at all. Now, as he refilled his glass, her shocked and silent face stayed burned into his mind, and it all felt rather hopeless. Jake felt a buzz in his pocket.

 _Fuck._

“Hey all, I’ve got a text.” Islanders near the kitchen came jogging over and calling for the rest of the group. Jake could see Dax and Jen, making their way slowly from the pool as Tim and Mason sat down across him at the kitchen island. Erikah hopped up sitting on the edge of the counter as Reese leaned into her, hugging her around the waist.

“What does it say?” Reese asked making eye contact with Jake over Erikah’s shoulder.

“Is it a challenge?” Cherry walked up next to Jake, touching the side of her body into his and looking over at his phone. “Ugh, I really hope it’s not something sticky, it’s way too hot for that.” Cherry sighed. Jake couldn’t hear her over the beating of his heart in his own ears as he read the message.

_No fucking way._

**Islanders, it’s time to put your relationships to the test. This afternoon you will all face the Lie Detector Challenge. Each of you will answer questions from your partner, and Mason will have the opportunity to write one question answered by all the girls, he will also answer questions written by the public. #HomeTruths #TheBestPolicy**

Cherry’s face dropped as she looked off into the distance. “Woah,” she pursed her lips to one side. “I think I take it back; I would’ve preferred something sticky.” After a moment of silence, the islanders erupted into commotion and Rohan began gesturing his arms about wildly as he muttered to himself.

“No, I can’t do this.” “What if it gives me the wrong results?” “Lie detectors are shams." "It’s just reading a heart rate.” “Shit, just when I thought things were finally going ok.” “I’m just going to have to answer a million more questions about CherryGate.” “How could this be helpful?”

_Talia’s questions are going to be brutal; she’s definitely going to try and make me admit stuff I’ve been holding back. Fuck._

“Everyone!! HEY!” Levi jogged up into the kitchen and threw his arm around Dax who was lingering at the back of the hectic group silently picking at her fingernails. “Jeez you lot, take it down a peg or two.” Levi kissed Dax on the cheek and then moved into the centre of the group. “You lot are all freaking out over nothing. Obviously, the lie detector is going to put pressure on your relationship, but if they’re strong, they’ll survive. Just do your best to stay calm and be honest.”

_Like you know a fucking thing about honesty._

Reese leaned around Erikah, nodding his head. “Levi is right. If I think about this like I’m in the ring, like, I always have to make sure I don’t get all out of my head before a match. Got to keep focused.” From across the group, still a ways a way, Dax called out.

“So we’re treating this all like a game? You two are in favour of treating this like it’s just a competition?” Jake realized this was the first time she’d really looked up at the group. Her eyes were puffed-up, and her tone was short.

_I have to get Dax alone before all this goes down._

Just then, Cherry’s phone beeped.

**Islanders, it is now time to write the questions you have for your partners. Keep in mind, you should also be ready to know the answers. Boys, please head up to the bedroom and girls please go to the beach hut. #BrutalTruth #DoYouReallyWannaKnow**

As the guys headed up to the bedrooms, Jake practically launched himself around the kitchen island to intercept Dax’s movement toward the door. But he couldn’t quite make it through the group before Levi tightened his arm around Dax's waist and ushered her up the stairs.

“Ugh, couldn’t they have given us normal size pencils?” Tim flung a golf pencil at Jake as he walked into the bedroom. He hadn’t had the paper and pencil in his hand more than 15 seconds when he felt his hands shaking. “What kinds of questions are you guys going to ask?” Tim was still fiddling around, trying to hold the small pencil against his paper.

“Oh mate,” Reese flopped down onto a bed sitting next to Mason. “You have to ask real serious things you want the answer to, or that all of us need the answers to, ‘coz really, when are we ever going to get this opportunity again?” Reese stretched his legs out. “That’s the way you’ll make your relationship stronger, getting it all out now.”

“That’s bullocks.” Levi was carefully folding and flipping a piece of paper he’d torn from his pad. “There no reason to put a bunch of extra stress on your bird. Especially when there’s no reason to care about that deep stuff, relationships in here aren’t real, none of it will be real until the outside.”

_Not real? We've been here 5 weeks and doesn’t think people’s feeling here are real?_

“I’m just going to ask questions that are pretty much obvious, so she’ll have an easy time, and we’ll stay good. I’m not trying to deal with more of her nagging about me saying or asking the wrong things.”

_Oh cool, so you just would rather she didn’t bother you with her thoughts and feelings, because, what a fucking waste of time?_

Levi tossed his paper aeroplane at Mason who whose eyes were firmly fixed on the pad in his hand. The point of the plane hit him directly in the temple.

“Ah fuck bruv,” Mason’s delayed swat struck the air as the plane was already landing on the ground. “C’mon I only get to write one fucking question; I’m trying to make it a good one.”

____________________________________________

The villa living room was silent as Tim could be seen helping Dax attach the various wires of the machine to her body. Even with the low quality of the live feed, Jake could tell that Dax looked petrified sitting in the hideaway waiting for her questions. As he watched, Jake could feel his body returning to his own control. The adrenaline from his confession to Dax had subsided, leaving his limbs weak, and his mind ablaze with whiskey. Talia on the couch next to him restored a small bit of calm as well. The projected image showed Dax finally sitting on the edge of the hideaway bed covered by wires and a clear sense of dread.

“So, how’re you feeling?” Tim slid the stool he was sitting on closer to her and adjusted his costume lab coat. Dax smiled softly and looked straight into the camera.

“A bit nervous, really.”

“Don’t worry,” Tim smiled at her, “you’re going to be fine.” As he spoke, the screen on the lie detector machine flashed bright green. “That um, wasn’t one of the questions I’m supposed to ask you though.” Dax seemed relieved for a moment as a short laugh escaped her lips.

“I figured.” Tim cleared his throat.

“Um, ok, so we’re going to start with an easy one, yea?” Dax wriggled to adjust some of the wires draped across her chest.

“I have to answer them all at some point right, so, why not start there?”

“Good attitude Dax,” Tim looked down at the clipboard in his hands. “Ok, do you think Levi is great in bed?” Dax took a deep breath and laughed.

“Um, yea,” She nodded smiling, “I do.”

_Not altogether shocking information -_

Both Tim and Dax paused to look at the monitor from the detector and the moment seemed to last hours. Eventually, the screen flashed green.

“And she’s telling the truth!” Tim smiled as Dax adjusted in her seat.

“Ooooh boys,” Levi stretched his arms to full wingspan and gave a small grunt. “I have to point out she had no objection to the word great in that question.” Mason smiled and bumped his fist into Levi’s.

“Ok question number two.” Tim looked down at the clipboard and chuckled. “Jeez, Levi clearly had one thing on his mind while writing these. He wrote, since it was already revealed that you’ve hooked up with multiple people here, Levi wants to know, was he the best you’ve had in the villa?” Dax wrinkled her nose and recoiled her neck.

_Fucking prick, why is he so damn concerned about making it clear she prefers him to everyone else. What is the point in that?_

Jake looked at Levi out of the corner of his eye; unsurprisingly, Levi was already looking back at him, raising a sly eyebrow.

“Wow, Levi. Really?” Talia crossed her arms and turned to him.

“What? I was just trying to go for like funny, easy questions?”

“That’s not funny. It’s personal.” Jen dropped her eyes down to the floor. “Dax isn’t ashamed about her choices. She apologized to me straight away after pong that the secret was about her. But why would you make her announce her preference in front of us all?”

_Because he wants me to watch her say it._

“I can’t believe he would ask that.” Dax was biting the side of her lips and massaging her thumb into the opposite palm. “I guess there isn’t really a point to lying in here is there.” Dax tossed her hair over her shoulder and then crossed her arms. “No,” she paused “he wasn’t.” Jake felt a flutter of excitement between his legs.

_Well, I mean, it felt good to me too._

For a moment, Jake kept his gaze glued to the monitor, trying to quell the desire to burst into a raging smile. As the living room devolved into a series of “ooohs” and muttering, he felt an elbow dig into his side and Talia whispering in his ear.

“Nice work, mate.” Jake turned to face Talia and over her shoulder could see Levi gritting his teeth, his jaw full of tension. Rohan, who was clearly suppressing a laugh, let out a short burst of breath from his nose.

“Guess your questions didn’t have as obvious answers as you thought…”

“Shove off.” Levi spat back rolling his eyes.

Back on the screen, Tim let out a chuckle.

“I guess let’s see if that’s true or not.” He and Dax both turned to look at the detector’s monitor as it flashed bright green.

“Well, at least you were honest about it.”

“I’m not embarrassed.” Dax smiled, finally freeing her lips from their punishment. “I came here to find love, and I’ve tried to see if that spark happens with more than one person. If Levi didn’t want the honest answer to that question, he shouldn’t have asked.” Dax raised a single eyebrow directly toward the camera.

“Hey, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with testing out your options before you settle.” Tim flipped a page over the clipboard. “Ok, last one, Levi wants to know, which girl from the villa would you invite to bed with him for a threesome?”

_Fucking hell mate, do you care about anything other than sex?_

Dax had been silent for what seemed like forever. Jake recognized her rapid blinking and partially open lips as her habits of deep thought.

“Um, I guess,” Dax smiled and squealed, “Talia probably, both because I know she’s open to it and, well, you’ve all seen her.”

_I mean…_

The monitor flashed green, and Jake felt Talia slip her hand into his and squeeze.

“Definitely open to it if you two end up working it out. 100% for her though, just so we’re clear.” She bumped her shoulder into his teasingly.

Jake chuckled and felt tension release from his shoulders for the first time all afternoon.

“Obviously just for her.”

Mason had come up with the enthralling idea to ask all the girls their bra size, which Dax replied a begrudging 32C, and began to de-wire. As she appeared from the hideaway, the islanders cheered and clapped, all the while praising her for being the first to take the test. Dax walked straight to Levi, who was sitting on a stool behind the couch leaning against the wall. Jake watched as she nestled between his knees, leaning her back against his chest and letting Levi drape his arms around her. Jake caught her eye for just a moment before her eyes darted to the ground. Levi tossed a wink to Jake and pulled Dax tighter to him, leaning down to kiss her on the neck. Jake’s stomach flipped, and he knew he’d need a little help getting through the rest of the day.

“I’m grabbing another drink, want anything Talia?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you.”

Jake hopped up off the couch and made his way quickly to the kitchen. This was it, wasn’t it? He’d told her how he felt, she’d basically admitted he was better in bed than Levi, and still she wouldn’t make eye contact. What about me? What am I doing wrong? What does he have that I don’t? 

_None of the answers to those questions matter._

Jake pulled a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and sipped from the bottle. Then he sipped straight from it again. After refilling his glass to a healthy level and hiding the bottle he’d drunk from in a lower cabinet, Jake made his way inside. He sat down next to Talia and tossed his arm along the back of the couch.

“What’d I miss?” Talia rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Literally nothing, Reese and Erikah are obsessed with each other and have the green screens to prove it, and Jen asked Tim a couple of sweet questions about staying together.” Talia grabbed the glass of whiskey from Jake’s hand and took a sip. “All in all, nothing interesting.” Jake squinted at her mockingly as she handed the glass back.

“I thought you said you didn’t want anything.” Talia stuck her tongue out at him.

“I changed my mind. Now shh, Cherry’s in, and I legitimately want to hear these.” Jake laughed quietly and turned back to the monitor. Levi was dressed up in the fake lab coat and wearing a pair of glasses than seemed not to have lenses.

“Is Rohan a better kisser than Levi?” Cherry smiled wide and giggled before responding with a resounding –

“- of course!” The lie detector almost immediately flashed red. Across the couch, Rohan groaned.

“I wish I hadn’t asked that.” Dax walked up behind the couch and gave him a friendly hug around the neck.

“It’s not great, but at least you won’t always be wondering. Doubt can really do your head in.”

_Is she speaking from experience?_

“I guess you’re right.” Rohan ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve set myself up for a lot of info I don’t want to know though. I didn’t’ know this would feel so brutal.” Jake sat up a little straighter, taking a swig from his drink.

_A lot he doesn’t want…_

“What do you mean ‘set yourself up’?” Jake frowned at Rohan who dropped his head into his hands.

“Just watch.”

“So,” Levi continued. “Question two, if you could be in a couple with anyone in the villa, Rohan included, who would it be?” Cherry’s cheeks grew pale as her shoulders caved forward.

“Gosh, this is really not easy. I thought Rohan and I were on the same page, but I think from his questions we weren’t, and that’s my fault, but I wouldn’t stay with Rohan. I’d be with Jake.” The clinks and jingles of Jake’s ice echoed through the quiet room as he took a swig of whiskey to avoid the looks. Nearly everyone adjusted in their seat, but no one said a word. The detector’s screen turned green.

“Honestly, I don’t see it.” Dax sniggered, leaning deeper back into her chair.

_What the fuck Dax?_

“Way to put honesty out front here Cherry,” Levi smiled “Um ok, last one from Rohan, do you regret CherryGate?”

“Oh, Ro, gosh.” Cherry let out an uncomfortable laugh as she straightened her posture. “Obviously. I obviously regret what happened. Dax and Levi have worked so hard to be together and coming in here I’d even seen on the telly how badly she was willing to fight for him. After all, that, to do what I did, cross another girl that way, of course, I regret it.” Talia leaned in towards Jake again.

“Shit, I hadn’t really thought about all the stuff Dax might’ve said in the beach hut and all that.” She again stole a sip from his drink. “I wonder what the public is seeing of her and Levi’s drama.”

_I wonder what the public thinks of me?_

For the first time, Jake thoroughly considered that public perception of his actions would all be based on what was shown of Dax and Levi. Was he the romantic best friend or was he the villain, trying to break up a couple who’d been fighting to be together since day one? All of a sudden, Arthur’s voice came crashing into his head – he was supposed to be here for positive publicity.

“Jake,” Erikah called out, “C’mon, you’re up!” Jake handed his empty glass to Talia as he followed Erikah forward. As worry slowly raised his heart rate, Jake had to order his body to take each step toward the hideaway. Anxiety slipped down his spine like a spider dropping slowly down its silk as he sat for Erikah to cover him in wires. “Don’t worry, you’re in a friendship couple, literally what could you have to be worried about?”

_Sweet oblivious Erikah._

Erikah put on the ladies lab coat and the fake glasses and sat in front of him. She crossed her legs at the knee and looking down onto the clipboard started to hum.

“Ooooookay. Here we go, ready?” Jake nodded, unable to conjure sound from within his throat. “So, question number one, Talia wants to know, do you want to be coupled up with Cherry?”

_Fuck, Talia…_

Jake could feel his heart throwing itself against his rib cage, and he felt short of breath. What could possibly be the right answer to this question, what was the truth? Cherry was so lovely, and clearly interested but with Dax on the line and Rohan’s feelings too?

“Um. No,” Jake licked his lips, trying desperately to stop their drying. “She’s so beautiful and so lovely, just, not right now, I mean.” Erikah nodded in understanding and turned to the detector. The screen flashed fire-engine red.

“Well, seem like that’s not quite the truth Jake.”

_Fuck… I’m too nervous I need to calm down. 1…2…3…_

The thumping of his heartbeat drove all the way into his skull, and Jake began to feel dizzy. He could feel blood pooling in his feet as his stomach churned.

“Ok, so next question, Talia wants to know who you think is the fittest girl in the villa?” Jake swallowed hard.

“Dax.”

_1…2…3…_

Erikah scowled as the lie detector again flashed red.

_Fucking hell. FUCK._

“Seems like a weird thing to lie about, just relax Jake, you look nervous, and that’s probably throwing the machine.” Jake took a few moments to inhale and exhale steadily.

“Last one, you got this Jake.” Erikah pushed the fake glasses back up her nose. “If you could couple up with anyone in the Villa who would it be?” Jake cleared his throat and noticed his knee bouncing up and down. He dropped his hand onto his leg, hoping it would stop.

_If I lie, and then it flashes red, then at least the reading would be correct, but then what if I lie and it turned green. Shit._

“Dax.” Jake held his breath as the screen turned red.

_Fuck._


	31. My Head is Gone

“Mate that literally could not have gone worse.” Jake let his head fall back into the excess beanbag behind him. “ Rohan passed Jake his refilled glass.

“I mean, it wasn’t good. If you want, Talia and I can both vouch for the fact that you were telling the truth.” Rohan dropped down onto the bean bag next to Jake and sighed. “But also, maybe its time you think about moving on. Right? Does that seem crazy?” Jake sat up and gulped from his glass, the warmth of the whiskey spreading along the inside of his chest. “Like, you told her hours ago that you’re in love with her and she hasn’t said a word, and I mean, it sucks that Cherry doesn’t want to be with me but Jake, you’re my best mate here, and if she’s picking anyone over me, you’re the only bloke who it should be.”

“I can’t just couple up with Cherry to get over Dax. Especially since she really seems to like me, Ro, that would be a dickhead move.” Jake took another swig and rubbed his hand across his face. “Cherry and I would never work in the real world.” Rohan creased his forehead.

“Why not?”

“Because, she’s 21 Rohan. When I got my driving license, she was in Year 3. When I was in rehab, she could’ve been Girlguiding.” Rohan rolled his eyes.

“Jake, you’re finding reasons where there are none.” “Yes there’s a bit of an age gap, but if you’d stop thinking about Dax for like two seconds, you might remember that Cherry is gorgeous. Also, she’s a west end performer which means you and her would both be working nights and off during the day. She’s honest, and she’s sweet, and her energy might actually bring you out of your shell a bit.” Jake scoffed. “And really, you’ve seen her right?”

_Not really my usual type, too put together, not enough emotional baggage…_

“Are you honestly trying to convince me to take your woman right now?” Rohan laughed.

“It’s girl’s choice tonight. I don’t think you or I will get much of a say in the matter regardless, but yes I’m trying to get you to be open to it. And I’m making sure that you can’t use me as an excuse not to be open to it.” Jake threw back the whiskey in his glass.

“I’ll be back. I’m getting one more.” Rohan’s eyes narrowed.

“What’re you on today mate, like 6?” Jake stood up and adjusted his shorts.

“It’s been a weird day mate. I’m fine.”

“Yea,” a soft voice rang out behind him, “it’s definitely been sort of a crazy day.” Jake turned to see Dax holding her hands together in front of her. “What’re you guys up to?” Her lips moved into a smile, but Jake only saw stillness in her eyes, something was off.

“We were just sort of working something out.” Rohan stretched his arms out behind his head. “Basically with a bloke going home tonight, and with Cherry saying what she did, I was just making sure Jake knew we’d be good when she chooses him later.” Dax drew a quick but subtle inhale as she cocked her head. She bit the edge of her lip slowly as she released the breath.

“Oh, so, Cherry is picking you later?”

“No, I mean, I don’t know,” Jake backpedalled, nearly swallowing his words.

“If she gets the chance, she will.” Rohan smiled and shrugged. “I’m realizing she sort of picked me to be safe after what happened with Levi, but sitting here and thinking about it. I do really think Jake’s a better fit for her; their lifestyles are really compatible.”

_Rohan, christ, stop._

Jake took a step forward. “I think Rohan just wanted to clear the air sort of just in case since we’re such good mates, but nothing has happened yet. I haven’t actually talked to Cherry at all.” Jake ran his hand along the side of his head. “I wanted to talk to you first, was the thing.”

“Um, same, sort of. I mean, I just, I wanted to chat if you had a minute. I’m not considering coupling up with Cherry” A tingling sensation started in his toes and began to move up his legs.

“Sure yea, right now?”

“Yea, I mean I could come back if you need – “

“No, please, let’s… sorry, the roof?”

“Yea, I’ll meet you up there in a minute.” Dax turned on her heels and headed toward the kitchen stairs. Jake turned to look at Rohan, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

“This is it mate. She’s going to fucking turn me down. It’s going to be official.” He began to pace to and from the bean bag. “Levi fucking aced the lie detector crap because he doesn’t give a shit about what he’s promising to her and because nothing makes him nervous, and so he looked like a fucking prince.” Jake put his glass up to his lips to sip it, the ice crashing into his lips reminded him that the glass was empty. He grunted, turning the cup forcefully upside down to let the ice fall onto the grass. Rohan stood up, took the glass from his hand and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, mate, if you learned anything from the challenge today it’s that you need to stay calm. I know that none of this is how you wanted it to go, but if you go up there all amped and six whiskeys in then this will also not go how you want it to.”

“Sure, you’re right.” Jake took a deep breath and grabbed his glass back from Rohan. He walked over to the kitchen, refilled his glass, and poured a second for Dax. As he made his way up the stairs, through the bedroom and turned into the girls dressing room, Cherry stopped him.

“Hey there handsome, so, that was awkward this morning” she giggled. “I was really hoping that you and I could have a chat before the recoupling tonight.”

“Um, yeah, I can’t at this moment – “Cherry interrupted him by placing her hand on his chest and moving slightly closer.

“I just wanted to clear the air, you and I both had so many questions about each other, but it felt so weird having to, like, answer in front of everyone, and not even really get to talk to just you.”

“Sure I really would love to, I just – “Cherry leaned forward and got up on her toes to plant a soft kiss on Jake’s cheek. Simultaneously, she drew her hand down from Jake's chest and hooked a finger on the belt of his swim trunks. More than any other sensation, it took him by surprise.

“Oh, Cherry I –“ she cut him off.

“I know you said you were sort of confused about coupling up with me, and I just thought I could help you decide.” Cherry moved her hand further down and before he could process the change or step back, the sound of a loud click drew Jake’s attention up to the open door of the roof terrace, where Dax was staring back at them. She silently turned around and walked back outside.

_Fucking hell._

“Look, Cherry, I will chat with you, downstairs, in a bit okay?” He rushed around her to the terrace door and balancing both glasses in one hand let himself outside. “Hey, I brought you a sip.” Jake extended a drink out to Dax who, he instantly noticed, practically glowed in the dreamy auburn dusk of the Spanish countryside. She was sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest in the corner of a bench as her long slender hand reached out to grab the glass.

“Really, Jake? Cherry?”

“Ok wait, pause,” he said, sitting down at her feet on the bench.

“Pause for what?” She turned to look straight at him. “I haven’t ever trusted her, but I trusted you more than any person here. Really, more than anyone I know. And within hours, everything you told me turned out to be lies. You couldn’t make it up the stairs without grafting on her? Letting her all over you?” She sipped from her glass and then held it close to her chest, anger vibrating through her skin. 

“Dax, shit, please, that’s not what’s happened here.”

“How do I know? How the fuck do I know Jake?” She ran her hand through the top of her hair clenching a fist around the strands at the back of her head. “This place will absolutely do your head in.”

“Dax, you know that machine was reading my nerves and not the truth, and inside Cherry stopped me while I was walking. I was just trying to be polite.”

“Levi might’ve said the same when he was with Cherry?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Dax, are you serious?” Jake swigged from his glass chuckling in disbelief. “Every single thing I said to you this morning was true, and lie detectors are scam science. I want **you** , Dax.”

“Everyone else seems to think differently. Rohan was trying to set you up with Cherry ten minutes ago, from her questions it’s clear Talia thinks you’d be good with Cherry, Jen and Erikah have said so too.”

“Fuck everyone else, not to mention if you bothered to ask Talia and Rohan directly; they would tell you how much of my pining over you they’ve put up with the past five weeks.” Jake slammed his glass down onto the table and moved closer to her. “Dax look at me. Think about what we have been through, all the time we’ve spent together.”

“That’s exactly why I’m asking why the fuck would you get my hopes up when you’re clearly on about someone else?” Jake’s jaw dropped as he exhaled harshly.

“Someone else? Have you lost the plot? Levi, the person that for some reason you keep giving chance after chance after chance, is the one looking at other people. **He** was the one who kept you guessing for days after saying he’d leave Jen, **he** was the one who kissed Cherry back, **he** was the one who I’ve overheard multiple times talking about other girls, **he** is the one who wants you because of some sick joy of knowing other people can’t have you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry” her tone was dry and sarcastic. “Where were these fucking thoughts about Levi before right now, if you were such a damn good friend?”

“Dax, what the fuck was I supposed to say? I didn’t want to be just your friend. If you’d have asked me about him, there would’ve been no right answer. The only options I had were to tell you I think he’s scum which would clearly hurt you and hurt our friendship. Or I’d’ve had to tell you I thought he was sound. Which would’ve ruined my chance at the only thing I want, which is to be the person who makes you happy.”

“You don’t get to withhold information from me just because you want a certain outcome Jake, that’s not honesty that’s manipulation.”

“I have never manipulated you, Dax, fuck sake, what are you playing at here? Why the hell are you picking this fight?”

“I’m not picking a fight.”

“You are.” He threw back the whiskey in his glass and stood up. As he stood the edges of his vision started to spin, but only for a moment. “I don’t know if you’re scared, or you’re trying to convince yourself to stay with Levi so he hasn’t wasted your time, or, hell, I don’t fucking know what’s happening right now. But I do know **Cherry** is the interested one, and I’ve never seriously reciprocated that. I know that if you don’t believe me, it’s because you’re choosing not to. I’ve given you nothing but evidence of my feelings.” The ice in his drink made such noise crashing into the glass; he couldn’t possibly hide how hard his whole body trembled.

“And Dax, I know damn well that I’m in awe of you and I’m falling in love with you, and I’m tired of pretending I’m not.” He paused and gripped the skin over his heart with his open hand. “If there’s something you need from me to prove it, I’ll do anything you ask. But I won’t sit here and let you make it out like I’ve been playing you.” Jake sniffled quietly, his tears threatening to burst from his eyes like an army storming a sieged castle.

“How, how are you in love with me Jake, and I didn’t know before this morning?”

“Do you want me to admit that I’m a coward? Do you want me to describe the times I’ve spent looking at you? The ways I’ve imagined fucking you? The number of times I’ve wanted to tell you how I felt? What do you want Dax? Is that what you want?”

“I…” she paused, pulling her knees even tighter to her chest. “Jake, I don’t know what I want.” Jake turned and walked towards the door, and just before walking through, he turned back to her.

“Truthfully Dax, that’s the real problem.”


	32. Hopeless

Leaving Dax out on the terrace was the hardest choice he’d made since coming into the villa. Still, he was so overwhelmed by her comparison of him to Levi and so angry that she didn’t believe his intentions, taking a moment away felt like the best choice. But far longer than a moment passed before his resentment faded into despair, Jake could tell things had gone too far. His limbs were only narrowly under his control, and he’d become increasingly prone to bumping into other people and sitting down marginally too fast and too hard. Earlier in the day, he’d felt fine. He’d felt bold and sort of warm on the inside. But now, he felt like a child who’d spun too fast in too many circles.

“Mate are you ready to head out?”

_Huh?_

“Huh?” Jake turned to Rohan who’d sat next to him on the dressing room couch. Jake tried to blink his face into focus but eventually decided just to try and stand. In his lifetime, Jake had plenty of practice hiding inebriation behind slow controlled movement, and he thought it a positive sign that Rohan didn’t question him as he stood. “Yes, yea, um yea – let’s recouple right?” Jake rubbed his hand over his eyes, trying to centre his narrowing field of vision. He knew his arms and legs were his own but making his way toward the firepit he felt more and more like a puppet with crooked joints being guided by strings.

“Ohhh I’m well chuffed about this one, do you think it’s girls?” Rohan bounded down the stairs ahead of him sparkling like a puppy.

_Girls?_

“Yea mate, the girls are choosing tonight. We’ve known that.” Jake saw his knuckle white a bit as he gripped the stair rail following after Rohan.

_I wonder what Dax will wear tonight. I hope it’s white, she looks like an angel in white, a really fucking sexy white angel, who’s really devilish once you take off her –_

“Right.” Rohan squinted his eyes toward Jake suspiciously. “But the text from just a bit ago, it said there’s new arrivals.” Jake reached the bottom of the stairs swiftly becoming aware of his gaps in memory regarding much of the afternoon.

_Run your day back mate… you fought with Dax; you had drinks with Talia, she told me…fuck, what did she tell me?_

“Oh, shit, yea sorry, I just wasn’t paying close enough attention.”

_She told me Levi was going to pick Dax again, or she thought Dax was going to pick Levi? Fuck. Then I brought the handle down to the day beds, and Chery came over…_

Shadowy images of whiskey shots and the afternoon sun flipped through Jake’s mind like someone flicking through a vintage slide projector. Somehow, Jake could hear the hubbub of the girls talking giggling outside but couldn’t make out any of the individual words Rohan was saying.

_Oh, fucking hell. Oh Jake, you fucking drunk git._

Jake let out a slow exhale, allowing his head to fall lazily forward into his open hand. Suddenly his words to Cherry came crashing back to the front of his memory.

_“If it’s what you want, pick me tonight Cherry. I don’t have a future with Dax. She’s made that clear.”_

“Jake… mate!” Rohan shook Jake by the shoulder. “Are you alright? You seem off?” A bubble of air rose from his throat to his mouth, and Jake hiccupped into his fist.

“Yea, I’m fine, let’s just get this done with.” Jake and Rohan joined the other guys just inside the garden door as they all spilt out toward the firepit.

“Oi, oi,” Reese shouted from the front of the group. “What’s going on here then?”

“Alright lads?” A familiar voice chimed out from the deck. Jake looked up over the others to see none other than Captain Posh himself; Jasper had returned.

“Jasper!” Jake caught up with the others and brought Jasper into a brotherly hug. “Good to see you again mate.” Jake smiled, trying to press his feet into the ground to steady himself. He looked behind Jasper to the girls all sitting on the bench and noticed his wish had come true, Dax was in white.

_Jake, you fucking idiot._

Dax’s face was smiling, but her eyes were serious, and she looked pale. Guilt spun around his head more forcefully than any of his drunkenness. He looked back to where the boys were huddling, unable to bear the thought that her sadness might be his own fault.

“Poshy, mate, I thought we’d seen the last of you.” Mason reached across his body to clasp hands with Jasper before pulling him into a laddish half-hug.

“No, I know Dax did what she had to do last time,” he smiled at her, “I’m just happy to be back here and have another crack.”

“Can’t say I’m glad to have another boy in here but, nice to meet you.” Rohan extended his hand toward Jasper. “Should we line up then?”

“Well,” Jasper grinned slyly, “I actually brought a friend with me.” He gestured up to the kitchen as a tall stunning girl with crisp short hair and confident eyes marched down toward them.

“Hi all!” she shouted from across the lawn waving. As she approached, Tim reached his hand out to help her step up onto the deck. “My name is Lucy, and I am so excited to be here.” She clasped her hand together eagerly in front of her chest. Lucy sauntered over to the girls and began chatting as Jasper continued reconnecting with the boys.

“Oh, all, I’ve got a text!” Talia waved her phone in the air while the screen lit up. “It’s time. So it’s Jen, Erikah, Lucy, then me, Cherry, and Dax is last.”

“No, no fucking way bruv.” Mason and Levi were whispering to each other as the boys moved into a line around the glowing fire.

“Why the fuck would I be lying mate,” Levi scoffed, “fuck it’s like they’re trying to get me in trouble-“

“Bruv, seriously that’s her?” Mason rubbed the back of his head his mouth open in surprise.

“Yup.”

“Um ok, I suppose I’ll get the ball rolling…”

Alcohol aside, Jake couldn’t focus on a single word Jen, Erikah, or Lucy said. None of their words mattered. The only thing he could do was look at Dax. Her sheer white dress was almost completely translucent sparing a couple strips of thicker white material that created a window-pane pattern on the dress. Underneath the barely-there fabric, she had on a delicate set of white lace lingerie that weakened his knees. Though Jake didn’t often care for make-up, whatever she’d done tonight made every other girl look lacklustre. She’d somehow wrung her eyes in whites and browns and gold such that you couldn’t tell where the sparkling of her eyes stopped, and the glowing of her skin began. She was a goddess, and he was a mere mortal.

Tim stood by Jen, Reese by Erikah and the only thing that break his concentration on her was hearing Lucy announce she’d be coupling up with Rohan.

_Ah, yes! Mate, he’s staying._

Jake smiled broadly at Rohan, who looked shocked as Lucy pulled him into a friendly hug. Talia stepped forward and breaking the rules of the game walked over to the line of boys. She approached Jake with her bright blue eyes ablaze with a strange combination of sadness and hope. She wrapped her warm arms around his middle, and he raised his hand around her back, holding her tightly to him. She looked up at him.

“Hun, this will all work out. Ok? Trust me. ” He nodded as she let go and returned to stand behind the firepit. “It’s funny. I think I’ve honestly been in the best couple out of this entire villa. I got to lounge around in the sun and spend every night cuddled up to my absolute best mate.” Talia tossed a wink at Jake. “With that said, when I saw this boy just now, I remembered how happy and hopeful I was on that first day we all got here. That day I just felt like we had everything ahead of us, and I’m hoping that’s a feeling I can have again. I had a spark with this boy in early days, and I’m so excited to see where it goes. The boy I want to couple up with is – Jasper!” Jasper stepped forward and kissed Talia on the cheek gently caressing the other side of her face with his hand. They sat together holding hands, Jasper unable to contain his boyish grin. Cherry squealed as she sashayed into place behind the fire.

“Ok so, I think especially after this morning it’s dead obvious that I’ve got a major crush on this boy. I can’t believe he’s been single in this villa for so long because I’ve come to realize he is everything I’ve been missing. He’s kind, he caring, and he really keeps me on the level when I need it.

_Oh, sweet Cherry._

“The boy I want to couple up with is Jake.” Jake swallowed hard forcing his feet to move toward Cherry without letting his knees buckle.

_Mate, you fucked up._

Jake leaned toward Cherry to kiss her cheek, but she quickly bent her neck so that his lips landed right on hers. He pulled back slowly to ensure it remained just as peck and then sat with her on the bench next to Talia.

“I guess that means I’m up.” Dax stood and took a step forward. “These choices that we make here in the villa, they happen so fast,” She furrowed her brows. “It feels like you have all the information and then out of nowhere, something new comes up, or new people arrive, and unexpectedly things feel backward and upside down.” A murmur spread over the islanders as Dax tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I really didn’t want to be in this position, for more than one reason, but I think it’s clear which boy I have more history with. The boy I’m coupling up with is Levi.” Levi ran over to Dax, wrapping her in his arms and sending a flutter of kisses down her neck. Over Levi’s shoulder, she looked directly at Jake. Jake gritted his teeth and grabbed Cherry’s hand.

“Well done.” He didn’t break eye contact with Dax. “We’re all really happy for you.”

____________________________________________

Saying goodbye to Mason had been harder than he’d anticipated, and it seemed that was the case for everyone. The islanders made their way, without laughter or conversation, inside. They quickly dispersed amongst the bathroom and bedroom as couples began to get ready for bed. Jake had gotten some much-needed ibuprofen from the medic and was returning to the bedroom when a wave of nausea passed over him. He stopped to lean his head against the wall of green ivy that lined the garden hallway and squeezed his eyes shut. The earthy scent of the vine slowed the spinning in his head.

“You ok handsome?” Cherry walked out of the bedroom door, draped in delicate purple lingerie.

“Yea, I’m fine. Just overdid it a bit tonight. I’ll feel better in the morning.” Jake stood up and continued toward her.

“I’m disappointed,” Cherry hooked her finger into space between two buttons on his shirt and pulled him towards her. “I was really hoping I could show you how excited I am we’re finally coupled up.” Jake was struck by a moment of realization as Dax’s words from their first night together rung through his head.

_“I don’t know what I want or what’s coming once the sun rises, but at this moment, I want to feel completely wanted, by someone who I know sees me as more.”_

It would be so easy to give in to Cherry. It would be so easy to let her satisfy his every physical pleasure. For a little while, it’d likely feel really good. But no matter how easy it might be, he couldn’t do it. He refused to let himself use her to stop thinking about Dax. He knew what being used that way felt like, and he wasn’t going to pass that feeling forward. Jake leaned forward and kissed Cherry on the forehead.

“I think tonight I just need a good rest. Today was a very long day.”

Jake and Cherry were the last couple in the bedroom. The lights had even already been shut off. While he crawled into bed, Cherry’s sweet voice whispered good night. She touched his arm and then rolled onto her side, wrapping the blanket tightly around her shoulders. Jake stared up at the ceiling in silence, examining the long shadows cast by the light of the moon through the plants and the windows. Just as he was drifting off, he heard the mechanical whir of a camera and a discreet familiar moan paired with a gruff grunt that sounded distinctly like Levi.


	33. And the Dish Ran away with the Fork...

“Ohhh Jake, thank god you’re here.” Cherry looked up at him her hair disheveled, and her eyes frenzied. “I was trying to make a scrambled egg for you, but it’s all just gone to shit.” Jake smiled and laughed doing his best to ignore his raging headache.

_I need coffee, fuck._

“Cherry, you don’t have to cook for me, I don’t even really eat breakfast most days.” Jake walked over to the cabinet and retrieved two mugs. “Do you ladies want any coffee? I know Talia’s got a new partner now, but I was going to bring her some, old habits you know.”

“I’m good thanks.” Lucy smiled softly and continued chopping away at some peppers on a cutting board.

_I thought I saw Rohan head up to the dressing room, who is she cooking for?_

“Oh, I’m ok Jake. I have to figure out how to get all of this broken shell out of this egg. Go on up to her and I’ll be over once I sort this out.” Jake chuckled and filled the mugs.

“Alright if you say so.” Jake made his way to where Talia and Jasper were sitting on the swing that overlooked the pool and kitchen area. He was using his limited bandwidth trying to push the memory of Dax and Levi’s moaning from his brain. Today would not be about Dax, he didn’t have the energy emotional or otherwise. Jake handed Talia her cup and then sat on the ground in front of them leaning back against the balcony railing. “So, lovebirds, any buyer’s remorse?” Talia was sitting between Jasper’s legs on the swing, cuddled back against him.

“Not so far as I can tell.” She smiled broadly, “I almost picked Jasper that first recoupling, he’d always caught my eye.” Jake turned his mouth into an exaggerated pout.

“Awwwwww, isn’t that just so cute.”

Talia kicked at him with her foot hanging off the swing.

“I mean, I haven’t got any complaints.” Jasper chuckled, his arms casually draped around Talia’s chest. "At least now that I'm here again."

“You better fucking not,” Talia sniggered back at him.

“So Jasper,” Jake took a sip of the coffee, its deep chocolate smell rejuvenating his senses. “Have we missed anything absolutely insane happening on the outside?” Jasper lifted his sunglasses to the top of his head.

“Nothing that I can think of really, well, except Lucy’s nonsense.”

_The new girl?_

“What do you mean?”   
  
Jasper raised one eyebrow into a knowing gaze.

“She’s Levi’s ex. They were apparently together for a long time, until he cheated on her. Big surprise there.” Jasper rolled his eyes. “But according to the interviews she did before we got here, she’s basically only here for him.”

“Wait, seriously?” Talia sat up and turned around facing Jasper.

“I mean I don’t know her, we only met on the Jeep ride in last night, but it was all over the internet before we got here. Apparently, she dumped him straight off when she found out about the cheating, but then regretted it – so she came here to get him back.” Jasper restored his sunglasses and stood up. “Honestly it’s all probably silly gossip, does anyone need anything from the bedroom; I need more sun cream.” Talia and Jake both shook their head no as Jasper walked off toward the stairs.

“Wow, Lucy is his ex.” Talia shook her head in disbelief. “That boy is just an absolute twister of drama.”

“Does Dax know?”

_Stop mate, today is not about Dax._

“I saw Lucy pulling her for a chat after the recoupling yesterday, maybe that had something to do with it.” Talia patted the seat next to her on the swing. “Speaking of the recoupling, how’re you?” Jake moved to sit next to her and gave the swing a slight push back as he sat down.

“I feel like shit Tals. Yesterday was…”

“Fuzzy, huh, you tosser?” Talia laughed.

“How did you know?” Jake’s jaw dropped in surprise.

“Well one, I know you really fucking well, so I could tell you were focusing pretty hard on standing up straight. But two, you were already tipsy after talking to me and then I watched you polish off almost an entire bottle sitting at the day beds with Cherry.” She put her hand on his knee. “I don’t blame you, everything yesterday with Dax, it seemed like a lot.”

“Yea.”

“How’s Cherry?”

“She’s an absolute dream Talia – sweet, gorgeous, funny-” Jake trailed off and sipped more of his coffee. “The chemistry just isn’t there.”

Jake looked out over the villa and found a sense of peace in the way it was playing out it’s morning. Levi was doing laps in the pool, Jen and Tim were giggling together in the sun loungers, and Cherry had seemingly given up on cooking and was pulling bits of egg from her hair as she walked back into the villa. Jake revelled in the silence with Talia, both sipping calmly on their coffee, enjoying the burn of the sun on their faces.

Just as he was about to speak Jake noticed Levi getting out of the pool. He grabbed a towel and began to dry himself off, but instead of heading toward the bedroom, he made a beeline for the kitchen.

 _Captain Obvious_ _grafts again._

Jake watched carefully as Levi made his way to Lucy dancing around her in the kitchen. The pair began laughing as Levi reached his hands on top of hers and held his body close to her seemingly “ _instructing_ ” her on how to properly chop a potato. It wasn’t long before he was standing completely behind her with an arm on each side, his whole body pressed up along her backside. Without any anger left in him, Jake’s chest twisted into something sad.

“Am I the only one who sees him when he does this? Or can you all see it too and he just doesn’t care?” Talia rested her head on Jake’s shoulder.

“She’s the only one that doesn’t see it Jake, and you’re not the only one who’s told her about it.”

Jake felt a deep sense of unease filter through his chest and build up in the back of his throat. More than anything in the world he wanted to be with Dax, just to feel her ease and warmth, to feel like he could breathe again. The way she looked at him made him feel whole, and knowing she was still with Levi made him feel broken.

“I think I have to leave Tals.” Talia sat for a moment in silence, letting the wind curl around them and the steam from the coffee rise to their faces. Eventually, she picked her head up and looked at Jake.

“Are you sure?” Jake let out a heavy breath.

“I’m not 100%, but-”

“No, I get it. I selfishly wish you wouldn’t, but I understand.” She blew delicately onto the surface of her coffee. “When do you think you’ll go?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll want to talk to Rohan, and Cherry obviously, but I can’t take another night of it. Hearing them two beds over. It just - It just absolutely guts me.”

“Are you going you talk to her?”

“Probably. Maybe. I don’t know.” Jake gave Talia a friendly peck on the cheek and stood up. “I’ve got to clear my head, maybe write a bit. I’ll be up on the terrace if you need me yea?” Talia smiled and shook her head.

____________________________________________

Jake laid out on the bench on the roof terrace holding his notebook against his chest and gazing up into the cloudless sky.

“You always look the most at peace when you’re admiring a view.” Jake shot up at Dax’s voice at the door. Her eyes wore dark circles and worry sunk her delicate cheeks. He could see her chest rising and falling rapidly as she bit the edge of her lips.

“Well, rare are the moments of quiet in this place… so.” He ran his hand through his hair and set his book down next to him. “Look, about yesterday – “

“Don’t go.” Jake felt a small recoil in his chest as her words surprised him.

“Wait, wha-“she interrupted him.

“Talia told me.” She took a step towards him. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you around.”

“You’ll be fine, I promise. This place is designed to fill you with doubt and make everything feel massive. It’s good television, right?” Jake forced his lips into a soft smile towards her. “We’re fine Dax, we’ll be able to try being friends on the outside. I just don’t think – “

“No, you were right yesterday, we shouldn’t be friends.” Dax moved toward him and sat on the edge of the table. “I have so much to apologize for, the first of which is, you’ll have to forgive me for how scattered my thoughts are right now, I hadn’t figured out exactly how I wanted to tell you this but, as soon as Talia told me you’d said you were thinking of leaving, I knew it couldn’t wait any longer.” Her shoulders curved toward him as she rested her elbows on her knees clasping a book close to her chest.

“As I was walking up here I kept going back and forth about what I should say. Should I justify my actions?” She shrugged. “No. Because really, I knew how you felt, I could see it in your eyes from the first day when Talia interrupted us. Right here. And neither of us wanted her to stay, but we both thought it’d be rude to tell her to leave. So, to say there was any justification for how long I pretended not to know would be a lie.” Pins and needles swept through Jake’s fingers and toes as his breath became stuck in the very bottom of his lungs. “I thought, should I just try to tell you how I feel and move on?” She paused again shaking her head. “And again decided no, because if this is going to mean anything it has to come from a place of 100% honesty, with full acknowledgement of how I’ve hurt you. You deserve a real explanation and a real apology.” Dax took a deep breath and turned just her eyes up to the sky.

“Coming in here, my confidence was so shot, I mean, I felt like I had nothing to offer someone. I felt so hollow. Levi took such immediate advantage of that and my trust, and I got stuck. I got trapped in this process of letting him be the reason I continued to feel worthless, and, then letting that feeling of worthlessness convince me that his approval would fix everything.” She paused. “It’s fine if that doesn’t make sense, I won’t pretend it should, it was irrational. But everything felt fixed, for like, ten minutes after he coupled up with me. But even before finding him out on the terrace with Cherry, the worst part of that night was seeing how upset you were that I was getting into bed with him, and how angry you were when you saw him with Cherry. That was when I knew that it was more than fancy, that you really cared for me. I don’t know if you remember, but that night I told you that your arms were the only place that felt safe-”

“-when everything around you was crumbling.” Jake felt a glow where his heart should’ve been. “I do remember, it meant a lot to me at the time.”

“Me too.” A wrinkle formed between her brows. “But as soon as I admitted that out loud, I got scared.” Her eyes, now red at the waterline, were welling with tears. “As insane as it sounds, I always planned on losing Levi. I’m not as blind to his behaviour as everyone seems to think. Once we ended up together in here, I knew out in the real world we wouldn’t stand a chance. But because I could prepare for it, I figured it wouldn’t hurt as much as all the other things I’d lost in my life because I would know it was coming. But the idea of letting **you** in, of admitting what I was starting to feel, of potentially losing you. That was terrifying. So, I chose to push you away instead of taking the risk.” She bit her bottom lip, tears now rolling down her cheeks

“I don’t know how to apologize for all I’ve done, for making you feel used, for picking that fight, and especially for last night. Seeing you with Cherry, I lost my head. I knew you could hear me and Levi, but I’d spent so many weeks using his attraction to me to feel better about myself, I just let it happen, and it shouldn’t have. I should’ve been honest with you yesterday morning, I should’ve been in bed with you last night, and I want to be with you every night from now on.” She puffed her cheeks out and wiped her eyes as Jake sat in silent shock trying to process all she’d said.

_Say anything, just say… something._

“I wanted to make some kind of grand gesture, but, stuck in the villa we don’t have a ton of options so this is what I’ve got.” She held out the book she’d been holding. It was a small blue leather-bound journal about the size of a half-page of paper and tucked inside the leather cord wrapped around, was a fork. “So, this is my journal, if any part of you is doubting how long I’ve been fighting myself about telling you what I felt, it’s all written in here, you’re welcome to read through it, some of the thoughts are better articulated than all I've said just now, because I’d had time to sit and write them out.” Dax’s eye brightened for just a moment as she laughed and covered her face with her hands. “Oof, and the fork, is, well, it’s the only romantic gesture I could think of. The first time my parents took me out to a really fancy dinner I was 10. We were going to see a show on the West End and they made like a huge night of it. I don’t remember it well, but as my parents told the story, when the waiter came to clear our plates I wouldn’t give back my fork. My mom asked me why and I insisted that the food was so delicious that I wouldn’t give back my fork because we had to order more. My mom was always kind of serious and so apparently she started to scold me, saying we’d be late for the show, but my dad, he just ordered dessert and looked at her and said ‘Mi amor, deja que se quede, lo mejor está por venir.’” Jake released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“The best is yet to come.”

“Yea," her eyes sparkled with hope. "So there it is, my heart on a fork.” She laughed. “Stay. Give me the chance to prove how much I care about you, to prove how sorry I am for wasting so much time. And really, in here will just be the beginning. The best could be yet to come.”


	34. Dear Diary

Jake sat alone on the roof terrace, the small blue book in his hands. He flipped it back and forth, pangs of excitement clipping at the edge of his mind as he felt the smooth rub of the leather on his fingertips. Her words played over and over in his head.

_“As soon as its appropriate and private enough, I’m going to break-up with Levi, but please don’t feel like that means I expect anything from you. I need to end things with Levi for me, to take that power back, for me. We can chat later, ok? Once you’ve had time to process.”_

So there he sat, holding her most private thoughts in his hands, and still wondering if the last 30 minutes of his life had been real. After finally catching his breath, Jake moved to the corner of the bench, fluffed a pillow behind his back and began to unbind the journal. He flipped through it briefly, noting the dates, and realized she must’ve purchased it just to bring here to the villa, and so, he started on page one.

____________________________________________

> _So I’m sitting on the bench swing off to the side of the villa, and I still can’t believe I’m here. Today has been absolutely MAD. I thought it would be so exciting, but more than anything I’ve been nervous. They announced my career as surgeon still so, that’ll be fun to correct. But the boys, wow, the boys are so fit. There’s one called Tim, who’s not really my usual type but he’s cheeky in a weirdly sexy way, and there’s one called Jake, who’s just, imagine if a storybook prince mashed with James Bond, like just fucking fit as hell and sort of dreamy, but mysterious too. UGH and then there’s Levi – totally my type on paper, also totally a player. Get this; he goes “what would you do if I asked you to kiss me right now?” Like I can’t tell he hasn’t used that line before on like a hundred other girls. We’ll see what turns up. I think I might try to choose Levi later anyway, if I get the chance, he’s fit and seems sort of, easy? We’ll see how it goes. xo xalvadora_

____________________________________________ 

> … _but in more important news, Jake writes poetry. Jake fucking writes poetry – god – he really is something else. You would never think it of him, he’s so quiet all the time, seems sort of stiff, but I guess with a body cut from stone you always look stiff? I caught him today down by the edge of the villa and, first off, the idiot tried to hide a whole book under his leg like I couldn’t see it. lol. But once I convinced him to show me, he was writing an actual love poem for Talia. I don’t remember much, but there was a lot about plants, which, ok, so the poem for her was shit. But then he read me another one about an ex-bird that had a drug problem and - you could just hear from his voice how much he loved her. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard someone talk about an ex that way, made me wonder how he talks about girls he’s with. It was so beautiful. I couldn’t help but be a little jealous of Talia. I mean, I’m stuck with fucking Grumpy the Leprechaun and Talia’s got a boy writing her prose. Got a little ray of hope today though – I’m writing this sleeping outside on the daybeds because Miles let me have the bed last night, and Levi came out to say goodnight to me, he promised he’d come to wake me in the morning, so hopefully I’ll get some alone time with him before Jen wakes up. Ew, I want that, but I also feel gross that Jen doesn’t know. Boys suck. xo xalvadora_

____________________________________________

> _Tim was talking about fantasy lists today, and everyone was acting like he was crazy, but it got me thinking about my own list: harem with multiple girls and my man, a devil’s three, someone watching me fuck my guy, proper bondage with like silks or straps, doing it on the beach (though I do worry about sand so maybe in a hammock?), doing it in the on-call room… I’ll write more as I think of them. xo xalvadora_
> 
> _ps. If Allegra doesn’t shut up about Mason, I think I’m going to kill her._

___________________________________________

> _Last night was terrible and wonderful and confusing, and I kind of feel like a goddess and I kind of feel like a whore, and still I feel like neither of those things. Fuck. Levi said he was going to choose me. I wrote four fucking pages in here on how Levi said he was going to tell Jen he wanted to be with me, and of course, he didn’t. From her speech at last night’s recoupling he obviously didn’t tell her a thing. And see the thing is, I could write all about my doubts or about all the ways it made me feel exactly like when Martin went back to his wife. But all I can think about is Jake. He was the first person there for me after it all went down. And then he just listened to me, like really listened. As angry as I am at Levi for making me feel worthless, I feel like I don’t need to write about it. I usually write to organize my thoughts, right? But with Jake, he was so present it was like I got everything out, and he just took it on for me. I’ve never had a friend do that before, or make me feel so at ease so quickly. I mean, ok well, then I fucked it up. We shagged. But just so it’s clear, he was such a gentleman about it. I had to ask him twice before he would. There was a moment where I put my tits in his hands, and I think he was still considering if it would be a knock to my virtue if he fucked me. lol. He treats all the girls here like royalty, as if he’s so lucky to be looked at by us. It seems so old school, but like he also in no way supports the patriarchy? Idk. I asked him to fuck me because Levi made me so upset and I wanted to feel desired, but by the end – Levi was the furthest thing from my mind. There was nothing on my mind except how fucking huge he was and how deep he was and how good it felt. It’s going to be hard to keep being Jake’s friend knowing how that felt… anyway… someone just got a text, and I should probably be social xo xalvadora_

____________________________________________

> _Dear Mum, I know my entries in this journal aren’t usually addressed to anyone, let alone you, but I couldn’t decide how to write about today. And then I realized it was because all I wanted to do was talk to you. I promise I’ll keep the swearing to a minimum. I don’t know what I’m doing here mum. Jake made me paella tonight, and I know you wouldn’t approve of him using mariscos en lugar de ostras, but mum it tasted almost just like yours. I think I offended him too – Levi interrupted us while we were eating and I was just so overwhelmed. I was trying to put up a brave face, but with every bite, I missed you more and more. I went with Levi instead of finishing dinner partially because I didn’t know how to explain that a rice dish was taking such an emotional toll. I thought I was in control of this thing with Levi, but, I think it’s gotten away from me. Sitting with Jake tonight, I mentioned the saying you used to tell me, about the lust in the countryside. How ironic that I shared that with Jake and then let Levi use me for lust. I need your advice mamá, send me a sign if you can. xo xalvadora._

____________________________________________

> _Oh, fuck fuck fuck. I’m in over my head here. I took Jake to the market today, honestly trying to make Levi jealous, trying to get him to admit that he wants me, because I need him to fucking want me. I don’t know how we got on the subject, but I found out today – Jake’s a dom. My head is absolutely gone. I know I mentioned this before, but Levi was so arrogant when we slept together. Like, it was good sex, but every bit of him was enjoying the rough play just because he liked being rough; not at all because he was revelling in my submission and definitely not because he wanted to heighten my pleasure. But with Jake, I can tell, we didn’t get into too much conversation (we were in a damn grocery) but I can fucking tell – Jake knows what he’s doing. I’m sitting here as all us girls are getting ready for the recoupling and all I can think about is wanting to fuck Jake, or rather, wanting Jake to fuck me. I know he fancies me, but like, I don’t want to abuse that or distract him from finding someone he really likes. Mainly because he deserves to be involved with someone who can give him what he deserves, and I’m, well, a jobless mess with the emotional range of a tree stump. I think Levi will finally pick me tonight and we can just go about business as usual, and I can teach him a little, and the rest of the summer will just be fun._

____________________________________________

> _It’s a terrible feeling sometimes to know you were right. Levi picked me last night, he picked me, begged for a blowjob and then in the middle of the night snogged Cherry on the roof. How callous does it make me if I really don’t give a fuck? Like, I’d rather he’d’ve not taken his cock straight from my mouth to her, and believe me, I was shocked at first. But what hurt the most was just that I was so unsatisfying to him that he had to sneak off before we’d even spent a single night together. I started having a panic attack but like obviously didn’t have my meds on me since I hadn’t had one since I was 18, but somehow like magic, Jake was there, like he always is. I think he’s in love with me. I think I might be falling in love with him. There was this moment that he was holding me, before I’d completely stopped panicking. I told him how safe he made me feel and it really felt for a moment like I might just admit I’d been wrong about Levi and admit how much I cared for him, but then I realized what would be the point in that? What could I bring to his life that would make it better? Nothing. And sooner or later just like everything else, he’ll realize that and become another name on the list of people I’ve lost. So, then I did the stupid thing and begged him to fuck me again. Part of it was to get back at Levi; I can’t lie. Mostly though, I knew in that moment I had to let Jake go, I couldn’t tell him what I really wanted because he’s got to stay open to finding a partner that deserves him, but I wasn’t going to let him go without getting to feel his body around mine again. God, it’s just so good. xo xalvadora._
> 
> _Oh, and I was right. He’s a dom._

____________________________________________

> _So. Cherry is pursuing Jake - which has been…fun. I even got to watch her get a long massage from him today. The best part? She asked him specifically to do it so that she wouldn’t have to ask anyone in a romantic couple, and so that she could help limit the drama caused by her and Levi. What have I done so karmically wrong that the girl who snogged my partner behind my back is finding a connection with my best friend? I forgave her, and was kind to her, and now she's going to get Jake. I want him to be happy; I really do. But of all the girls here, Cherry? She’s just so different from me – it's like – if he really is interested in her, was I wrong about everything? If he has that chemistry and attraction with Cherry, then I’m the opposite of his type, and I’ve been just completely off base about everything. Which would also mean he really only sees me as a fuck buddy. At least I didn’t tell him how I felt – gosh I would’ve looked like a complete mug. xo dax_

____________________________________________

> _I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know what I’m still playing at. Today’s challenge was somehow managed to remind me of fucking Jake, remind me of how I feel about him, and remind me that Levi is just trash. He apparently announced on national telly that he only thinks of me as a bit of fun. Which like, sure, I knew, but to think so lowly of me, to care so little that he would announce it? I’m such an idiot. I really thought we were starting to click, I really thought we could have fun here, I really thought as long as I put out, he’d make me feel wanted for literally just while we were here. I know Levi and I don’t have a chance in the real world as a real couple. I know he’ll get a fucking blowie in some sketchy bathroom from the first girl in a club that recognizes him, but I fucking thought he was decent enough to make it more than a couple of days before cheating, or lying, or calling me easy on national telly. But it's just been one thing after another. It’s my own damn fault for choosing him. And it’s honestly what I deserve for being so fucking naïve. I’ve got to go chat with him about it, she what he has to say for himself. Wish me luck; I’ll need it. xo xalvadora_

____________________________________________

> _Jake told me he loved me this morning. He called me out for using him. He called me out for ignoring how he felt. I literally don’t know how to begin processing all this or thinking of how to end things with Levi or even if I want to risk dating and losing my best mate. All I know is -_

The last passage ended there, leaving nearly half the journal blank. Jake carefully closed the book being sure to wrap it’s binding tightly. He slipped the fork back between the strips of leather and headed back into the bedroom. He tucked the journal into what he knew was Dax’s bedside drawer and jogged outside and down the garden stairs. Rohan was filling his water bottle in the sink as Jake passed by the island.

“Hey, Jake – I wanted to get a workout in before any texts come throu-” Jake cut him off.

“Sorry, sure, but just, have you seen Dax?” Jake scanned his eyes over the villa lawn and the pool.

“Um, I think I saw her heading down past the jacuzzi in that little back corner but – “

“Thanks, Ro.” Jake dashed off toward the hidden corner where they’d had their first real chat, and before he could see her, he could smell vanilla and cinnamon.

“Oh hi, I didn’t expect you so –“ before she could finish her words, Jake leaned down. Cupping his hands where her jaw met her neck, he pulled her into a deep kiss. The taste of her lips sent fireworks down his spine and blood rushing between his legs. He pulled away, still holding her head tenderly in his hands as she rested her hands on his wrists.

“So we’re doing this - you forgive me?”

“There hasn’t been a moment since I met you that I haven’t wanted you, Dax, of course I forgive you.” He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and turned her face towards his. “I have to talk to Cherry before we do anything, she doesn’t deserve to be lied to.” He dropped his lips to Dax’s ear, letting the outside of his free hand stroke a long downward path over her chest. “But after the recoupling tonight, we’re going to find somewhere private, and you’re going to use that tight little body of yours to prove to me that you’re mine. Understood?” An excited purr escaped the back of Dax’s throat as she whispered –

“Yes, sir.”


	35. Finally

Simply put, there was something excruciating about having to watch Dax from across the lawn, knowing that she was his but being unable to act on it just yet. Deciding to talk to Cherry and properly end things before being physical with Dax and giving Dax the chance to speak to Levi first, before rumours started to circulate, were the right things to do. He knew that, but still, when they’d made those decisions earlier, he had no idea this would be as hard as it was. He’d sustained himself so long by stealing glimpses and moments; he figured he could make it a few hours more without a problem. But oh, how wrong he was. His arousal was constant he imagined all the fantasies he’d had of her that could now become plans.

Jake lounged out over one of the sun loungers sitting quietly as Tim and Reese argued over who would win in a wrestling match between Prince William and Prince Harry. His eyes hidden behind sunglasses, he stared shamelessly as Dax laid out with Jen on the stairs of the pool. Dax had changed into a very high cut black netted swimsuit. The netted panels created long windows in the suit that gave him the ability to see just enough of her body underneath that his imagination was running wild. He couldn’t help but be jealous at the small waves that got to lap at her toned bronze legs. What would it be like to finally taste her knowing that she was his? What would it be like to feel her full lips around him knowing she was his? What would it feel like to be inside her and know she was his?

_Mmmm, mine._

Jake moved to adjust his swimsuit and hide his excitement, but as he stood, his phone lit up on the floor next to his chair.

“Guys, I’ve got a text!” Before he could reach down to open the message, Jen’s voice rang out.

“Oh, me too!” Jen squealed and reached for her phone as Erikah leaned out over them from the day bed.

“Is your lots phones going off? I’ve got a text too!” Erikah wrinkled her nose in happy confusion and turned to come down the stairs.

_What in the heavens?_

“Wait, shoot – I’ve got one!” Dax leaned out over the edge of the pool, reaching for her phone as Tim shot up out of his chair.

“Me three, or four or five or whatever…” his cheeks turned pink. “I’ve got a text.”

> **Islanders, today you will all receive text messages from your friends and family outside the Villa. Please find somewhere quiet to sit by yourself. #TextualHealing #FromBeyond**

_Oh shit._

Cheers and chatter broke out amongst the islanders as they compared notes on who they thought their messages would be from and started moving toward the main villa. Jake looked up from his phone at the group and noticed Dax’s eyes turned down. He quickly walked over to her and slid his hand into hers.

“I know they can’t tell you directly, but I think your parents would be quite proud of what you managed to accomplish here - the friends you made, the way you treated Cherry, the strength you’ve found.” He looked into her eyes and gave a small nod. She squeezed his hand tenderly and smiled before dashing up to continue mingling with the girls. As the pack moved forward, Jake noticed the empty firepit and decided it was quiet enough.

> **Jake, we’ve been in touch with your family and friends. The messages you are about to receive are from Arthur Pritchard. Once you receive his message, you will have 3 minutes to chat via text with him. When you’ve finished, please rejoin the other Islanders on the lawn.**

Jake was filled with a simultaneous rush of excitement and dread at the thought of getting the chance to check in with Art. He knew that if there was anyone in the world who would be honest with him about the state of the outside, it would be Art, and then again, Jake wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.

_The outside is a day or two behind right? He won’t know anything about Dax._

He was trying to find the right words to tell Arthur about Dax’s confession when his phone buzzed.

> **Ohhhh mate, what a fuckin ride innit? I have to admit, when I told you to go on the show and have some fun, I didn’t quite imagine you’d fuck so much out in the open, but I’m sure as shit proud of it. Not to mention, holy fuck Dax is fit, god. Sorry about how that’s all gone with her, it’s really confusing from out here, she seemed super into you and then. Well, who knows, I’m sure it’s really different inside there from what we see. Either way from out here, mate you look fucking ace. You’re coming off like a right hero, specially compared to some of the other guys. When you get back, this place is going to be damn packed every night. You’re a crowd favourite, so it seems. -Art**

Jake laughed to himself as he realized he could practically hear Arthur’s voice while reading the text in his mind. I was so peculiar to realize that for at least another few hours, his relationship with Dax was a complete secret. For so long he’d been so aware of how his every action had the potential to be seen by not just the other islanders, but also the millions of viewers back in England. But now, the distinct awareness this his relationship belonged to only she and him, filled him with pleasure. And so, instead of revealing all to Arthur (in exchange for advice he’d never take), Jake responded more generally.

> _Thanks, Art, it means a hell of a lot knowing you’re all out there and you’ve got my back. Pretty nice to know the world doesn’t think I’m an ass either. How’s the orchard?_

> **Jake, ohhhhh. When you see this place, you’ll be fucking buzzin. Business is through the absolute roof, we’re booked through NOVEMBER, and we’re on the fucking map in a new way. We were actually contacted by an Angel Investor about funding a move to London. They want a meeting when you’re back. Staff does miss yeh though mate. I don’t think any of us really imagined you’d be gone this long and to put it nicely - I don’t bring the same ‘composed’ energy that you do to the kitchen. We’ll be happy to have you back soon. But even though we miss you, we’re all really happy for you mate.**

Jake felt a pang of longing in his heart that he hadn’t felt since seeing the pomegranates at the market. So much of his attention and love had gone towards Dax he’d forgotten the space reserved in his heart for Sweet Orchard. He felt, in that moment, extremely homesick. He’d found love, what more could he get from the villa but a headache?

> _Mate. I really can’t wait to be back. This felt like a holiday for a while, but I’m really starting to miss Preston. I have to ask though, those other guys you mentioned, anyone coming off particularly bad?_

> **If you wanted to ask about Levi, you could’ve been more specific. He’s come off like a git, you’re definitely on higher ground. Ok, I got a warning this is my last message so – keep at it mate. Can’t wait to meet Cherry!**

A wave of guilt made Jake’s stomach clench as he remembered Cherry. His guilt was made even worse by the next message that arrived on his phone.

> **Jake, the next message you receive will be from Cherry’s sister. You can only reply once. Good luck! #meetthefamily #itsallrelative**

_Shit. The fuck am I supposed to say to her right now?_

> **Jake, WOW, Jake! I honestly am proper chuffed that you’ve ended up with my sister. She’s spent her whole life dating silly boys that just want to be the centre of attention, but you are so sound, and clearly can put others needs above your own when it's important. I’m just so happy for Cherry, and we all really hope to get to meet you on the outside! Natalie xx**

His mind went completely blank. What could he possibly say that wouldn’t be a lie, but also wouldn’t foster hope for his relationship with Cherry?

> _You’re so sweet Natalie. Cherry is such a lovely girl, and I’m happy to get to know her._

Jake shook his head to himself as he pressed send, anxious over what the rest of his day had in store.

____________________________________________

“I don’t think there’s any possible way to ease into this really, and I don’t want to waste any more of your time or pretend like you can’t put two and two together, “ Jake paused. The light was beginning to grow purple and blue as the sun set behind the hills. Cherry sat next to him on the end of the next sun lounger, her vast blue eyes filling with realization. Dax’s conversation with Levi earlier turned into an uproar that could be heard from every corner of the villa. It took careful control of every muscle in his body for Jake to stay with Talia on the roof deck as Levi’s spite echoed for all to hear. “I think so highly of you, Cherry, and I’m so appreciative of the time and energy you put into getting to know me.”

“It’s her, isn’t it? Now that I have you, she wants you back.”

“It’s… I don’t feel like details will make any of this better Cherry. But I have to try and believe it’s bigger than that.” Cherry looked down at her feet and twisted her toes together.

“You would have to believe that. But I don’t, not for a second Jake.” Cherry licked and then pursed her lips. “If it had been anyone else, or someone new, she’d still be with Levi.”

“Cherry…” Jake let out a sigh. “I’m talking about you and me.” He adjusted his seat to move slightly closer to her. “I think you’ve been so kind to me, and it’s no secret to anyone that you’re absolutely stunning.“ Cherry looked up at him. “But I have to be honest; I don’t think we have the chemistry I’m looking for.” She tensed her jaw.

“Why? Because I was emotionally available?” Cherry rolled her eyes and began picking at her nailbeds.

“No, Cherry. Because chemistry sometimes just, is or isn’t. I’m so sorry that it’s not there, and I’m even sorrier that I’m hurting you, because I enjoy your friendship so much. I’m just trying to be as honest as I can.” Cherry smiled softly before waving a dismissive hand toward him.

“I know you are, you always are. It’s one of the loveliest things about you, Jake. I just wish it had been anyone but Dax, she could’ve had you all along and let the rest of us crack on…”

“Believe me Cherry, I wish she’d figured this out earlier too. But I don’t want to miss the opportunity to be happy out of pride.” Cherry sighed and stood, adjusting her top as she did.

“I don’t think it’ll work out Jake, because I don’t think she understands how lucky she is that someone like you would love her. Still, for your sake, I hope it does.” She paused and placed a wistful hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got to get ready for the recoupling – I’ll see you up there.”

____________________________________________

Jake sat in between Tim and Rohan at the fireplace as the girls filed outside in line for the recoupling. Tim’s phone was the first to beep.

“Looks like it’s me first, boys.”

Jake’s brain stuttered and stammered as he looked at her, rendering him incapable of producing linear thought. Dax stood at the fire pit in a skintight red silk dress and tall black spiked heels. The bottom hem of the dress came down past her knees, but there was a wide slit in the side that rose nearly to her hip bone.

“The girl I want to couple up with is, Jen!”

Jake managed to figure out smashing his hands together and joining the other islanders in applauding Jen and Tim as Reese stood up to make his choice. Still, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. The top half of the dress was a fitted bodice that pushed her chest to the peak of its fullness as two delicate straps rested gently over her shoulders. She’d finished the look by adding a black leather garter to the top of the thigh that peaked out the lengthy slit.

_Fuuuck me, god I can’t wait for tonight…_

“The girl I want to couple up with is Erikah!” Erikah waltzed over to Reese, and after a quick kiss, the pair sat down together, cosily behind the fire. Jake shifted in his seat, anxious to make his speech as Jasper’s phone beeped.

“Coming back into the Villa was massive for me – “

Jake looked across the fire at Talia who’s honeyed smile and bright eyes were glowing with pleasure as Jasper showered her in compliments. He couldn’t help but feel so protective of Talia and so pleased, however cautiously, that Jasper seemed to appreciate how special she was. Her cheeks turned ever so slightly pink as Jasper announced her name, and she walked elegantly over to him to place a slow kiss on his cheek. Jake felt a buzz in his pocket. He cleared his throat and stood up.

“I’ve never been someone that looked forward to speaking in public, honestly, speaking in front of people at all. But today, all day, I’ve been counting down the minutes until this moment. Right now, even though I know this will be a change for the villa, and I know that I’m taking a huge risk, I don’t feel even the slightest bit nervous or afraid, because I spent weeks here terrified of telling her how I felt, and it got me nowhere. Now, it's so clear to me that this woman is every single reason I could possibly need to be brave. And more than that I cannot wait to spend every day for the foreseeable future announcing to anyone and everyone who will listen, how absolutely captivated by her I am. We’ve both had difficult journeys here, but this woman has stayed strong, kept her head up, and owned up to her mistakes. Her touch brings me comfort, her friendship brings me joy, and fuck, her laugh just gets me weak in the knees.” Dax released a string of delighted giggles that she’d been holding behind a bit lip. As her dimples flexed in full force, Jake stepped toward her.

“The girl I’d love to couple up with is Dax.”


	36. Mine ~ UPDATED!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter saw a major facelift after being posted a bit earlier; huge buckets of gratitude to veritasLItg for helping it find it's second life!

Jake placed his arm around Dax as she nestled herself into his chest, and the sound of the other islanders faded from his ears. The scent of vanilla and cinnamon flooded his senses, and it was hard to imagine a more perfect moment than this. The cool summer night’s breeze whirled around them and fluttered through the drapes around the day bed, the only bit of true warmth came from the places where her slight frame pushed up against his. Looking up through the billowing fabric it seemed as though the sky itself had been splatter painted with stars; still, the splendour of the light above was no match for the brilliance of the goddess in his arms. Looking down at her, he planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“I can’t believe we did it. We’re really together.” Jake left his lips resting gently on her hair, savouring her scent, and enjoying the newly acquired privilege of feeling her resting body against his own.

“I’m sorry it took so long,” she murmured; her eyes closed. Jake could feel the heat of her breath, keeping time against his chest. Jake traced his index finger along the bottom ridges of her shoulder blades and then found himself winding her hair in coils around his finger.

“I’d do it all again. I’d do anything if it meant I’d end up right here right now. You know Dax-” she interrupted him.

“Shhhhhhhh.” Her eyes were still closed as she raised her hand from his chest to place the tips of her fingers on his lips. “I’m resting.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” she cooed. ”You won’t be getting much sleep tonight either, solider.” Jake had tentatively believed her when she confessed her feelings, and still after, reading her journal went a long way towards helping him trust that she was telling the truth. But now, as the affectionate nickname rolled off her tongue as if nothing had changed between them, for the first time, he really believed that she'd cared for him all along.

“Why do you call me that?”

“Hmmm?” Dax looked up at him, her head still resting on his broad chest.

“Soldier. You’ve always called me that.” Wrinkles appeared along the sides of her eyes as she smiled at him.

“I don’t really remember choosing it, to be honest, there’s just always been something about you that was just so quiet and strong. I guess from pretty early on I also knew it felt like you’d protect me from anything, and so it stuck.” Jake tightened his grip around her and pulled her close as Tim and Jen skipped over, giggling and sloshing their drinks in their cups.

“UGH!” Jen’s mouth dropped open in exaggerated exasperation, “you two.” She sat down at the foot of the day bed as Jake and Dax sat up. “I never in a million years thought I would see this happen. But you two look so hippy.”

“Happy.” Tim corrected.

“What?” Jen quickly turned over her shoulder to look at Tim and nearly slid off the bed. “Oops!” she giggled.

_Oh, Jen._

“Really though, mates” Tim’s cheeks were bright red, and his eyes were glossed over. “We’re really happy for you, and we wanted to celebrate that we all made it to the last recoupling.” Dax looked up at Jake, a joyful knowing smile on her face.

“BABES” Jen was practically shouting.

“Too loud babe.” Tim dropped his arm around her shoulder as Jen grimaced playfully.

“ _babes_..” she whispered. “We should go up to the kitchen for a toast!”

“Wait,” Tim was patting at his pockets, “I think I have a text.” Jake laughed, his eyebrows furrowed in a quizzical glance toward Tim.

“You think?” Tim fought with the hem of his pocket, trying to remove his phone. Once he finally freed it, he shouted again.

“I’VE GOT A TEXT!”

> **Islanders, you are now in your final days on Love Island. Tonight, the public will be voting for their favourite couples. The couples with the fewest votes risk being dumped from the island tomorrow night. But before that, one couple will have the chance to be the last lucky couple to spend the night in the hideaway, and you will decide which couple it is. Please, with your partner, vote now for the couple you believe should get the chance to spend a romantic night alone. You may not vote for your own couple. #privatetime #lastchance**

_Oh wow. Privacy would be brilliant._

Jake looked up at Tim and Jen, who were smiling at each other. Jen nodded supportively at Tim.

“We’re gonna vote for you two,” Jen whispered giggling and wiggling a pointed finger at back at Jake and Dax. She grabbed Tim’s hand, and they made their way toward the kitchen.

“Thoughts?” Jake turned to Dax as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Talia and Jasper?” Dax shrugged. “I mean I think out of all the couples left they need time together most. They seem really interested, just also, their relationship is so new.” Jake nodded as he typed out the message.

“Yea, they definitely deserve some time – “ Jake trailed off and cast his gaze down along her body. He licked his lips, “I kind of hope it’s us, though.” He felt heat rush to his cheeks as Dax pulled her bottom lip under her teeth.

“Mmm, it might be – I’d bet Tals and Jasper are voting for us too not just Tim and Jen? Which means if Erikah and Reese do or if Rohan convinces Lucy too, we’d have it in the bag?” Dax’s eye’s sparkled with excitement. “I know we can find a little privacy regardless of whether or not we’re in the hideaway. Jake brought his hand to the base of her neck and grazed his fingers along her collarbone, then down between her breasts.

“I told you earlier. You **will** be mine tonight, I don’t care where” he paused. “I just heard a rumour that the hideaway is soundproofed.” Jake winked as his phone buzzed next to them on the daybed. He picked it up and eagerly opened the message. “Looks like we’ll get to find out. Meet you there?”

“I can’t wait.”

____________________________________________

Jake took care of some personal grooming, brushed his teeth and changed into some comfortable sweats that he’d been told highlighted his size. He wanted her to be able to see his excitement; he didn’t want to hide what she did to him anymore; he wouldn’t have to hide. He arrived at the hideaway before Dax and went inside. The large room was panelled with gold and red wall lights, and the bed was covered in a faux fur throw.

_Fucking lush._

At the foot of the bed, a small table had been set up with champagne and two flutes. Across the room near the window sat a sizeable and worn leather armchair. Jake was pouring champagne when he heard her behind him.

“Hey there, soldier – “ her voice trailed off as Jake turned to see her standing in the doorway. Dax took a few steps forward as the door closed behind her, and suddenly all of Jake’s breath was caught in the bottom of his lungs. She clenched a black silk robe around her body, the bottom edge lined in lace that kissed her thighs just low enough that she wasn’t exposed. Her toned bronze legs were bare, but she walked toward him up on her toes as if in invisible heels. Jake walked toward her catching her shoulders in his firm grip, their mouths meeting in a slow, intimate kiss for the first time as a real couple. Jake stroked the side of her face with the outside of his hand.

“Is it safe to assume you’re interested in playing?” Dax’s eyes glowed with arousal as she nodded her head. As his hand made its way down her jaw, he turned it over, letting the webbing between his finger and thumb fall gently onto her neck. “Mmmmm my goddess, starting today you are going to learn what I like. You are going to do what I want. In this space, our space, you obey me. Out there is out there and has an entirely different set of rules. But, in here, we only follow mine.” He leaned forward, pressing the side of his lips to her ear. “Your safe word will be villa, or in the event your mouth is full, you may tap my body three times in succession. Do you understand?”

“I do, sir.” Dax pushed her body forward against him, and Jake could feel her breathing growing faster. He let his hand fall so that his fingers slipped under the seam of her robe as she held it closed. He drew his fingers down along the seam allowing the back of his hand to graze her skin. His voice dropped in register becoming gruffer, and more suggestive. “Before we begin, are there any limits I should be aware of, boundaries I shouldn’t cross?” Jake reached up and clenched his fist around the hair at the base of her skull. He pulled her head to one side, exposing her neck to his lips as he began laying kisses and small bites along her skin.

“I want to see you the whole time, so no blindfolding -” she pushed her shoulders back and leaned her neck into his kisses. “- and I prefer pain in the privacy of my own home.” She stepped back, pulling herself from his hold. “But otherwise, I want to please you.” A surge of electricity ran down Jake's spine. He picked up a glass of champagne from the table and walked across the room to the armchair. He sat down, resting his arms along the wide sides of the chair, and crossed his ankle over his knee.

“Come here.” He slowly sipped from the glass of champagne as Dax tiptoed in front of him. “Take off your robe.” His voice was firm and commanding. Dax released her grasp on the edges of the garment. She parted her lips just a bit as she let the black silk sensually slip from her shoulders and fall to the floor. Her body was intricately laced in red silk bands that crossed up and around her hips as well as across her ribs. Her full tantalizing breasts were uncovered entirely, and her nipples were hard. One single strap looped around the base of her neck and was drawn in a taut line down the centre of her chest to a small metal ring that joined all the straps together just between her legs. Jake could feel his toes begin to tingle at the sight of her in the harness. He could feel blood start to rush between his legs at the mere thought of running his hands under the straps, and along her silky skin.

_Fucking goddess…_

His brain struggled to find words, any words. “You look,” Jake cleared his throat. “Wonderful.” Jake sipped from his champagne trying to regain the authoritative composure he knew excited her. “Pose for me, something you think will satisfy me.” Dax bit the corner of her lip and smiled softly, as her chest continued to rise and fall rapidly with exhilaration on her breath. She slipped down to the floor, kneeling with her knees spread wide exposing herself to him. She grasped her hands behind her back and straightened her spine, bringing her gaze directly to his eyes.

_God she knows what she’s doing, fuck._

He moved his leg forward, placed a foot on her knee, and pressed gently, instructing her to widen her legs. Dax broadened the space between her knees leaning her hips into the movement letting out a quiet groan. He could practically taste her as he gazed desirously at her slit, shining and drenched with arousal. "Touch yourself for me, Dax, show me what you like."

Jake relaxed into the armchair, adjusting the way he sat so she could see his body growing eager for her. He carefully finished the contents of his glass as he watched her begin to rub her fingers in long strokes up and down between her lips. He’d spent so many weeks stealing glimpses of her from afar that, despite his physical arousal, the freedom to brazenly gaze at her perfect body sent a rush of power and anticipation through his chest. She'd been so quick to be obedient; Jake hadn't until just this moment paused to enjoy the intimacy of her trust in him and the affection hidden in her submission. His mouth dried as Dax's breath became staggered and her rubbing began to give off the sound of a great deal of wetness.

_Fuck, I can’t take any more_

"Stop," he instructed. Dax returned her gaze to him, slightly parting her tempting lips and fighting to control her trembling. Jake removed his now throbbing cock from the waist of his sweats and curled his pointer finger at her. “Come closer and remove these for me.”

“Yes, sir.” Dax nodded and crawled forward to him, her eyes filled with lust. She reached up, hooking her cold fingers in the waist of the sweats to pull them off his body.

“I want you to take me in your mouth.” Dax let out a tiny hum as her eyebrows jumped up. Her long delicate fingers wrapped around his him as she began to gently kiss along his shaft. So many expectations had built to this moment that even the light touch of her lips sent him into wild a wild frenzy of sensation. She started spinning her tongue around his tip, flicking her tongue under the bottom of his head after every rotation. She kept up this pattern for a while, but every flick of her tongue sent an equally violent shudder across Jake's shoulders. He tried to contain his grunts and focus on watching her, but just as he regained control over his eyes, she opened her mouth wide and slid him inside her. Her mouth alone could make it only halfway to the base of his shaft, so after a few strokes of her lips, Jake couldn’t remain gentle any longer. He wove his hands into her hair and thrust his hips forward, pressing himself deeper and deeper into her throat as she adjusted her position to accommodate his size. “Goooood girl, fuuck.” Jake looked down at her; her bright golden eyes were watering as she hummed around his cock. The vibrations from her voice against him, made it impossible for him to breathe steadily. His eyes slammed shut as he tightened his grip on the back of her hair, pushing himself into her at a faster and faster pace.

_I’m never going to last._

Jake was barely able to overcome the short-circuiting in his brain to open his eyes. Still, he couldn’t help but want to watch as her gorgeous lips, and dexterous hands worked him in perfect partnership. As he watched, he could see her thrusting her hips in time with the way he pressed her mouth up and down along his cock. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, and her eyes were pleading with him.

_She’s so fucking gorgeous when she’s turned on._

Jake sat up and moved his hands, placing one on either side of her face. He stood up and offered his hand to her to help her off her knees. As she stood in front of him, he reached down between her legs and hooked a finger through one of the silk straps clinging to her hips. He pulled her toward him and with his other hand, caressed her thigh and traced delicate lines around her lips. She was dripping. “Turn around, and undress for me,” he ordered.

“Yes, sir.” She turned her back to him and quickly reached up to the back of her neck to unhook the main clasp of her lingerie. As the silk loosened, he wrapped his arms around her, pressing himself to the backside of her body and allowing his hands to explore her front, pushing down the silk harness along the way. He pulled her body into his, leaning down to kiss along her neck. A soft moan escaped her lips, and she rolled her head back onto his shoulder. Her skin was slick with the taste of salt as Jake continued kissing and biting down over the edge of her shoulder.

Jake’s hands found their way under the last set of silk straps down at her hips, and he pushed the lingerie to the floor. Still behind her, and with her head resting back on his shoulder, he took her breast in one hand, teasing her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. With his other hand, pressed the tip of one finger into her slit. Dax squeaked in surprise as he pulled his finger out and dragged it across her swollen clit. He began to massage deeps circles with both hands, and he could feel his heart throw itself at his ribs as her body starting to shake against his. He forcefully spun her around and caught her, his tight grip digging into her biceps as she faced him. He leaned down and kissed the tender outside of each of her breasts just once and then loosened his grip.

“I want you to stay in control of your body,” he lowered himself slowly down to his knees. “Stay standing and do not cum. Do you understand?”

“Mmmmm,” Dax whined, “Yes, sir.”

Jake reached up and pressed one hand on the inside of each of her thighs, instructing again that she widen her stance. He leaned toward her and began planting soft kisses along her legs, moving slowly up. He lifted his fingers to her, this time, sliding two inside her, as his mouth found its way to her clit. At this, her knees buckled.

“Mmmmmmm fuck.” Dax caught herself, her hands landing square on Jake shoulders. He slammed his fingers deep inside her, his thumb onto her clit, and pinched them towards each other. He stood, keeping his fingers in place.

“Now, now, now,” he sighed. “What were your instructions?”

“Sir, it felt so good.” Dax bit her lip, resting her forehead to his chest. “I just couldn’t help it, you make me so-” she trailed off, and with his free hand, he pinched her chin and pulled her face to his. He kissed her deeply, continuing to curl his fingers in and out of her as she began trembling. He matched the movements of his fingers with his tongue in her mouth, spinning his fingers along the walls inside her, and spreading them apart as he pulled them out. Dax began biting at his lips as they kissed, and sending moans directly from her mouth into his as his hands moved more quickly inside her. He could feel his own excitement building again as she rubbed her hips down into his hand and forward against his body.

“I will give you one more chance -” Jake whispered into her lips. “Focus, control your body so that I can enjoy it.”

“Yes sir,” Dax moaned, her readiness evident in her voice. Jake knelt down again in front of her matching the pace of his fingers inside her with his lips around her clit. He sucked on her gently at first but then more aggressively as he savoured her taste. She tasted and smelled of sweat and citrus, umami and salt rolling across his tongue as she thrust her hips to his mouth. He felt her start to take control, fucking herself on his fingers, and he immediately pulled his mouth away from her. A sharp whine of despair escaped her lips as he looked up at her. “Control is mine, Dax.” She bit her lip and nodded.

“Please, Jake, please, I need you inside me, Jake, I can’t take it anymore.” Her voice was breathless, and her blown pupils encompassed nearly her entire eye.

“If you can follow my original instructions, and control yourself a little longer, I’ll reward you.” He slammed three fingers deep into her, and the force knocked a whimper out of her mouth. Jake used all three fingers to do the same whirl inside and stretch on the way out, curling his hand so that his fingers dragged over what he assumed from her responses, was her g-spot. He could feel her thighs quivering and hear her metering her breath as she fought to stay upright. Still, every few moments, her breath would catch in her throat, and another whine would sound out. Every time she whimpered; his erection grew a little stronger. “Mmmmm, good, good.” Jake stood up in front her, “you’re delicious.”

In a quick motion, he lifted her onto his hips, holding tightly onto the bottom of her round ass. She wrapped her legs around him and wrapped her arms around his neck as their lips crashed together, their tongues hungrier and hungrier for each other. Jake carried her, and they fell back onto the bed. Dax was on top of him, pressing her hips harder and harder against him. He broke from her kisses to suck and bite at her chest, her moans becoming louder and louder. Dax reached down between their bodies, wrapping her hand around him and stroking him alternating fast and slow patterns until he’d grown to his full, massive length. He planned to tease her, reaching two fingers into her and beginning to twist them deep inside her, but as quickly as he’d started, her gasping voice moaned into his ear. “Punish me later for taking control but fuck me now or I’ll die.” Tension strung through her entire body as he reached up above his head to the nightstand to grab a condom. He quickly put it on, and as she knelt back over him, he lifted his cock to her. She leaned backwards, and pressing his full length inside her, drew in a forceful gasp. It was as if everything around him fell to the wayside. There was no villa, there was no hideaway, there was only Dax. She leaned backwards clasping her hands onto his knees and digging her nails into his skin as he pushed his hips up into her.

“Holy shit, Jake, fuck.” Jake reached his hands out to hold her waist as she rode him, attempting to control her pace and extend his stamina. Her tightness sent waves of pleasure through his body as she ground her hips into him. He looked up at her and was only pushed closer to the edge by the sight of her running her hands along her own rolling body. Just then he felt her begin to spasm around him.

“Mmmm, not yet, you don’t get to cum until I say, that’s your punishment.” Jake sat up and looped his arm around her waist as he flipped behind her, laying her down on her stomach in front of him. He pinched her hips in his hands and pulled her full ass up in front of him so that she was on her knees with her chest still resting on the bed. Jake pushed himself into her slowly, wanting to feel the electricity as every single inch moved deeper inside her. He then reached forward, gripping her wrists in his hands and pulling her arms behind her to his hips. She was completely in his control, and not a moment too soon. Jake slammed himself harder and harder and harder into her, pushing his hips upward so the tip of his cock would press down into the spot he’d used his fingers to make so sensitive just minutes before. He thrust into her again and again as she began to roll her ass toward him following his pace and rhythm.

“Oh baby, fuck, oh my god…” Dax’s voice rang out with reckless abandon. Feral groans escaped from the back of her throat as she continued to beg. “Please don’t stop, please let me cum.” Jake was pushed closer and closer to release at the sight of himself dipping in and out of her, and the way her face pressed down on the bed muffled her cries. Electricity surged across the surface of his skin, shocks and jolts of sensation, all mounting and building like a thunderstorm.

“Cum for me,” he growled through the intensity of his thrusts. Just as he thought he couldn’t last a moment longer, Dax let out a cry as she snapped her knees closed and pulled against Jake’s hold on her wrists, pleasure shivering through her thighs. Her powerful contractions around his cock sent him tumbling into ecstasy of his own. Climax hurtled down on him, tearing through him like lightning, reverberating off every bone and muscle in his body. His orgasm got trapped in his throat, and as it fought its way it’s way out, the air blew out of his lungs

“Oh, oh, god, FUCK.” 

Jake collapsed over Dax, released her wrists and took care not to drop his entire body weight on top of her. He rolled off to the side of her, panting and seeing stars. As his vision started to settle, he felt her lithe arm wrap around his chest as she nestled into him, breathing heavily. Their bodies relaxed into each other, and everything felt suddenly quite quiet as he held her to him.

_Mine._


	37. Morning

Jake tiptoed through the hideaway door, being particularly careful not to let it slam behind him. The cold morning air nipped at his skin more than he’d expected, making him instantly regret his shirtless walk toward the kitchen. He’d woken just as the first rays of sun snuck over the hills and through the hideaway windows to produce glowing beams out of specks of dust. Dax had still been curled up tightly in his arms, her long hair, a molten river of chocolate and caramel, flowed out across the stark white sheets. It had been a nerve-wracking game, trying to get up without waking her, but Jake firmly believed that a night of submission was justly owed coffee in bed. He held the kettle under the faucet as the water rattled around inside, filling it up and reverberating a metallic sound that broke the silence of the morning. He grabbed a paper towel, dried the bottom of the kettle, and as he set it on the burner, he heard a voice behind him.

“You lucky, lucky dog.” Talia held her arms across her stomach, pulling her thick black sweater around her. “I can only assume you two had… fun?” Talia smiled crookedly, pulling her lips to one side of her face as she raised her eyebrows. Jake laughed and ran his hand through his hair as he felt a blush rise to his cheeks.

_I mean…_

“Fuck Tals,” he pushed out a heavy breath. “It was practically a spiritual experience.” Jake chuckled leaning back onto the doors of the fridge, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Talia laughed quietly but warmly.

“Well, I can see how it may have felt that way if you had her spending time on her knees.” Jake scoffed and playfully tossed the crumpled paper towel at her.

“C’mon, I’m not gonna talk about her like that.” He re-crossed his arms, “but, I will say it was without a fucking doubt, the best night I’ve ever had potentially with anyone. Ever.” Jake felt the edge of his mouth rise into a smirk he couldn’t shake, while memories from every one of his senses flashed through his mind. “What are you even doing up so early?”

“Eh,” she shrugged, “I’ve told you I’m always up with the sun, plus my Jake senses were tingling” Jake turned to the cabinets pulling out the tin of coffee. “Do me a favour and make three?” Jake nodded and began to measure out the grounds. Talia adjusted the wrap of her sweater around her waist. She hopped up onto a stool on the opposite side of the island and leaned her elbows on the counter. “Oh my god,” she squealed, “you can’t wipe that grin off your face.” Jake laughed.

“Am I supposed to?”

“No, it’s just adorable, you’re in love.”

“Ok, let’s not get ahead of anything.” Jake reached for the now whistling kettle and began to pour it into the grounds. “I’m definitely, close to that. I just don’t want to get ahead of myself, you know?” He poured in slow circles over the coffee as the steam and toasty smell began to fill the kitchen. “But, last night really made me think. I won’t pretend like you haven’t figured out that I like a little bit of power play when it comes to intimacy.” Talia chuckled and shook her head.

“It’s always the quiet ones,” she winked as Jake rolled his eyes and laughed.

_I’m not **that** quiet, jeez._

“Any.Way. It sort of dawned on me last night that I’ve spent this whole time having feelings **at** her instead of with her. Everything we did last night, it was really intimate Talia. People can have this idea that it’s cruel or twisted, but it’s just this incredible way of expressing trust. It’s being so in tune with how to communicate with someone, that you can assume roles and behaviours that excite you, but that you’d never bring out into the world.” Jake turned to grab mugs from the cabinet. “And sharing that with her, I mean it was obviously physically remarkable. But. It also made me realize that before, I was sort of flailing and falling for this version of her, that was only made up of the small pieces of her that she was allowing me to see. It’s like, last night she gave me this whole person who I didn’t know, who’s been hiding within the person I do know -and I just-” He set three mugs on the island. “Now that she’s mine, I’m so excited to take my time falling in love with the rest of her.” Talia sighed and rested her chin in her hands.

“You’re a really good person Jake. I’m beside myself thrilled for you two.” She smiled as he passed her a full and steaming cup of coffee.

“I’m going to take some of this back in to Dax.” Jake made his way back to the hideaway and set the coffee down onto the bedside table. Dax had rolled over to the edge of the bed, the sheets wrapped unevenly around her. He could see the delicate constellation of beauty marks under her shoulder blade as her back expanded and contracted in the slow-motion of her sleep-filled breaths. Jake slipped back into bed and set soft kisses in a line up along her spine. Dax adjusted her body, stretching her chest forward as she drew a long breath in and rolled over, hazily opening her eyes.

“Mmmmm, good morning.” she hummed, looking up at him through squinted dreamy eyes.

“Good morning.” Jake smiled down at her and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “The lights have gone on in the rest of the villa, which I think means our time is up.” Dax pushed her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout. “But, before we do anything, I made you some coffee.”

“You’re an angel” she smiled, hoisting herself up to sitting. She pulled the sheet up over her exposed chest and tucked it under her arms as Jake passed her a mug. Dax leaned over the cup and took a deep breath in before letting her head fall back to rest on the wall behind them. “Mmmmm, do we have to go back? It’s so nice here, no one is rapping, and I don’t have to wear any pants.” Jake laughed and moved to sit flush against the wall next to her. He sipped from his mug as she dropped her head onto his shoulder.

“Unfortunately, we do.” Jake took a sip from his mug and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “But in just a few days this will all be over, and we will get to have as many quiet mornings as we want.” Dax hummed approval. Jake felt a rush of boldness zip around his stomach. “You could even come to stay a bit in Preston,” he paused. “I..I mean, if you wanted.” Dax nuzzled her head into his shoulder.

_Idiot, you’re moving too fast – you haven’t even made things official, and you’re asking her to come to -_

“I think I’d love that.” Jake wasn’t sure if it was her words or the coffee that filled his chest with warmth, but he did know, once again, he couldn’t catch his breath.

“You know, if you really want more peace and quiet, we could venture towards the showers? Rohan only found us last week because he was looking for us, and I wouldn’t mind erasing the old memory for a new good one.”

“I think I’d love **that** too.” Dax lifted her head and smiled at him, mischievously biting her bottom lip. The pair rushed to dress up enough to successfully cross the villa to the bathroom. As they jumped into clothes and gathered their things, Jake couldn’t help but notice a change in Dax. Perhaps it was the way she wiggled back into her robe, letting her hair stay tousled and messy. Perhaps it was the way, without her usual makeup, he could see the faint freckles on her cheeks as the sun beamed in through the windows and across her skin. Maybe it was the way her bright amber eyes darted back over her shoulder at him as she pulled him through the hallway toward the bathroom. Jake couldn’t put a finger on it, but, her tensing dimples and radiant excitement seemed to arise from far deeper within her than he’d ever seen.

_She seems so relaxed._

“What are you staring at?” Dax asked giggling and furrowing her brow as she reached into the shower to turn on the faucet. Jake shook his head.

“You just look really beautiful this morning.” Dax let out a stream of sweet, full, curling laughter squishing her eyes shut.

“Oh, you’re such a melt,” she stretched her neck up towards him and planted a soft kiss on his lips, “now come get all wet and soapy.” Dax let her robe fall to the floor as she ducked into the shower, the steam rolling out onto the floor as Jake slipped in behind her. He couldn’t take his eyes off her body as the water rolled down her skin. Dax faced the showerhead rubbing her hands upward over her eyes and into her hair. Even in the dim light, Jake could see a set of small fingerprint size bruises along the top of her bicep.

_Oh shit. Jake, you moron._

“Fuck Dax, I’m so sorry,” Jake reached out to run his hand gently over her arm.

“Wait what?” Dax turned around and looked down at her arm, confused. “Ohhh” she laughed, pulling at her arm to see the marks. “It’s not a big deal. You didn’t hurt me, quite the opposite, in fact.” Dax winked at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jake leaned in and gave her a tender kiss.

“No I know, I guess, we just didn’t clarify whether or not you were ok with that, and I got carried away, but I just should’ve been softer” Dax interrupted him.

“Jake.” Dax’s brows wrinkled into a thoughtful crease. “I’ve got some here.” She twisted her right arm to expose the side of her bicep and the fingerprint bruises he’d already seen. “I’ve got some here.” She twisted her left arm to reveal a similar pattern. “I’ve got some here.” She released her grip around his neck to show the inside of her wrists and the small set of identical scratches on each one. “And I’m pretty sure I’ve got one here.” She turned around, looking back over her right shoulder where Jake could see a faint bite mark. “But Jake, all I can think about is what exactly I can wear so that everyone can see every mark.” She turned back to face him. “You were incredible last night. You were the most careful and clear partner I’ve ever been with, and I plan to wear these marks as long as they last, enjoying the reminder that in the bedroom, I now belong to you.” Dax winked and kissed him again.

_Mmmm, all mine._

“Well, I didn’t ask before it happened, so I’m going to apologize anyway.” He tossed her a wink. “I’m only as good a man as my principles.” Jake tenderly linked his fingers between hers and lifted her arms straight above her head. He leaned into her and nibbled lightly on her ear lobe. “But, now that I have your permission, I can’t pretend the idea of catching glimpses of my marks on your body doesn’t drive me wild.” Jake slid his hand down her arm and along the side of her body while he leaned in to press his lips against hers. The comfort of the moment melted the world away faster and more completely than words ever could. One hand, still intertwined in hers, held her up against the wall as hot water splashed down onto them. Dax ran her free hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. Jake stepped back and through the steam held her wrists out in front of him. He leaned over and softly kissed each of the scratches. He stepped close to her again and pressed his lips in curved lines down the outside of each of her biceps. Finally, he turned her around and pulled the backside of her body against his.

“You are quickly becoming so important to me.” He leaned forward and kissed the bite mark and then continued along the tight muscles in her neck. Dax melted backwards into him, leaning her head onto his shoulder and letting out a quiet moan. She turned herself around and looked up into his eyes.

“Making up for lost time I guess…”

____________________________________________ 

“No, I swear, it’s called a pineapple shandy. You take the craft beer, something really bitter, like something made by a bloke who’s got long hair, and a fakey Zen tattoo, and sells the beer from a tap in his food truck. And then you add in pineapple hard seltz.” Tim sat on a sun lounger next to Rohan and played a sort of charades waving his hands around as if he was mixing a cocktail. “Seriously bruvs, well, and Dax.” Dax chuckled. “You do like 50/50 in a pint glass add some ice, and it’s absolutely brill.” Tim made a larger-than-life gagging noise. “It’s got to be pineapple though. Other flavours just don’t work.” Jake leaned back in his chair and adjusted his sunglasses. Dax was sharing his sun lounger, lying back on him between his knees while Jake enjoyed the feel of her skin on his legs.

“I don’t want to be responsible for fueling the fire of Timye mixing random alcohols, but as a chef, I can definitely see the sweetness of the seltzer really brightening the bitterness of the hops, and probably pulling together a really nice sort of fruity-caramel flavour profile.” Dax looked up over her shoulder at Jake, raising an impressed eyebrow.

“Oh?” She bit the end of her tongue flirtatiously. “Is that your professional opinion, chef?” she winked at him.

“I’m sorry I just can’t believe it. It sounds disgusting.” Rohan scowled and crinkled his nose.

“You’re missing out Rohan. It’s the best fucking thing to have on a hot day – and birds – they love it. They think you’re a regular mixologist.” Tim looked down at his feet. “Though, I don’t really know if Jen is a shandy type of girl.” Dax sat up and stretched her arms up above her head.

“Well, just don’t tell her there’s beer in it.”

“Maybe if she sees you all loving it?” Tim scratched his head. “After the final, we’ll all meet up, and I’ll make us shandy, and we’ll play some tunes, like, we could all go on holiday.” Rohan burst into laughter.

“Mate we’re literally on holiday – right now.” Tim made some jab back, but Jake didn’t hear a word they said as he watched the way her shoulder blades rolled under her skin while she stretched. His gazing was only interrupted as Levi and Jasper wandered over to the group, sitting in the farthest chair possible from him and Dax. Jake sat up, letting his legs slide down around hers and slipping a possessive arm around her waist.

_Don’t let him get in your head, mate. Trust her. She wants to be with you, not him._

Jake pulled his arm away and made to lay back, but Dax grasped his hand before he could retreat, and returned it back around her waist.

“So Jasper,” she smiled, “how’re things going with Talia?”

“Yea,” Jake kissed Dax lightly on the cheek, “watching out for my best girl, I hope?” Jasper leaned his elbows down onto his knees.

“Truthfully all, I think things are going great. She’s someone who keeps things so real, and she’s funny and gorgeous. I need someone like her to keep me on my toes. It’s early days, but I really can see a future for us.” Jake could hear the earnestness in his voice.

“Must be fucking nice.” Levi snapped his head up toward the group. “To see a future with someone.” Levi rubbed his hand over his mouth intensely. “Cherry is fit for sure, but she was never exactly my first choice, as most of us here know.” Levi turned his eyes to burn straight at Jake. Rohan stared at the floor as Tim adjusted uncomfortably in his seat to face Levi.

“Look, mate, maybe let’s not.”   
  
Jake felt a buzz in his pocket.

“Sorry to interrupt the fun,” he cast a guarded frown toward Levi, “but I got a text.”

> **Islanders, today each couple will go on their final Love Island dates. Mia and Jake, you are the first couple to go on a date. Please get ready to leave the Villa immediately. #LoveIsInTheAir #BigDayOut #SunSeaSand**

Dax stood up and turned to kiss Jake on the cheek. “Give me a ten-minute head start, solider; I’ll meet you up there in a bit.” The group was almost completely silent as she walked away, and the moment she was out of sight, Levi abruptly stood up and stormed off in the opposite direction toward the pool.

“Jake mate, I know things are weird, and I know you and Dax had to make a pretty tough call,” Tim ran his hand over the top of his head, “but the rest of us are really happy for you.”

“It’s fine,” Jake sat up straighter and shook his head. “I can keep my head; he’s just lying in the bed he made himself.”

____________________________________________

Jake pulled his T-shirt up over his head his muscles screaming from his night with Dax. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, his tired eyes, his broad shoulders, the scratch marks on his back. He reached around himself to touch the marks lightly with his fingertips, and though he wracked his brain, he couldn’t at all remember when she might’ve scratched him.

_I guess I’m hers in return._

He pulled his pressed white shirt up onto his arms and buttoned it, pulling on the bottom hem to ensure it was flat down his chest.

_Fancy date. Better tuck in._

Jake slid his hands under the waistband of his slacks, pressing his shirt underneath it as well. He threaded a belt through the loops and put a touch of bergamot sage cologne on his chest. Despite everything they’d been through, his heart started to twitter, and he began to feel nervous. Jake took a deep breath and turned to head to the girls dressing room. As he approached the door, he could see Dax getting ready through a slight crack.

“So is it strange?” Jen asked, leaning on the vanity as Dax deftly swept a large brush over the peaks of her cheekbones, giving her face a subtle glow. “I mean you guys just got together, and now, it’s like, you’re going on this major date?”

“Honestly, Jen, it really isn’t.” Dax dropped the brush. “Help me with my wings?” Jen smiled and grabbed some sort of pencil which she pressed onto Dax’s eyes. “I’ve spent so much time wanting this, he’s spent so much time wanting this, and so it sort of just feels like I finally get to be where I belong.” Erikah sighed dreamily.

“Ugh, that’s so adorable.”

“Believe me,” Jake could see Dax’s roguish expression reflected in the mirror. “You weren’t in the hideaway last night. Jake isn’t adorable, girls, he is all. man.” The girls let out a collective giggle.

_That’s good to know…_

Jake heard a rustling from the closet.

“Ok,” Talia’s voice rang out from behind the door. “Look it’s definitely going to be TMI, but I just have to know. How big? Cause Jake is what, 6’1”, 6’2”?” Jen and Erikah shrieked and giggled loudly as Jen handed Dax the pencil. “Seriously though! Did you see him in those sweats? I have to know if he’s packing what it looked like he’s packing!”

“I don’t want to be crass.” Dax’s cheeks turned bright red.

“I mean, I noticed his hands the other day whole he was cooking breakfast so...” Jen giggled, “I kind of want to know too…” she covered her mouth with her hands as Erikah shook Dax’s shoulder.

“Ahhh, ok, ok, ok, um well, I don’t know exactly, it’s not like I had a measuring tape or anything.” Dax bit her lip and rolled her eyes. “But I tried to go down on him and like, I think my lips made it maybe halfway, and I was honestly trying. It’s huge.” Dax’s hands flew to her cheeks as she blushed deep crimson and the girls squealed again.

“Holy fuck Dax. And you’re walking today?” Talia burst into waves of laughter.

“Barely ladies, barely,” she stood pushing the stool away from her with the back of her knees. “Ok, should I do the white or the gold?”

_White, white, white, white, white…._

“You’ve got to do the white. The gold has sex appeal, but the white is so romantic and understated.” Erikah scrunched her nose and shook her head.

“Yea, I agree. Plus, with your skin, white makes you look…” Jen struggled to find the word she was looking for. Jake stepped forward and rapped his knuckles on the frame of the door.

“I just wanted to let you know I’m ready whenever you are.” Jake smiled and leaned sideways against the doorframe. Dax turned to face him and smiled broadly.

“I’ll be down in two seconds, just got to slip on a dress.”

“Sound perfect.” Jake turned to walk away but caught his hand on the doorknob and turned to lean his head back around the door, “and I think you look like an angel in white.”


	38. First Date

The bottle of Perignon made an emphatic pop as Jake twisted the cork from its narrow neck. Dappled sunlight streamed through the numerous holm oaks that shaded the private cove where a jeep had dropped them just minutes ago. The crash of the waves lapping against the shore provided the perfect soundtrack to the smell of salt and the glittering of Dax’s golden eyes. Jake poured bubbles gently into each of their glasses, the foam rising to the very tips, but not spilling over. He handed a glass to Dax who was seated across from him in a simple but elegant loose-fitting white tank dress that fluttered around her body in the sea breeze. 

“I guess it would be improper to open such a nice bottle without a toast.” Jake cleared his throat. “Here's to you, this bottle, and the future. The first gorgeous, the second full, the last more exciting than it’s ever been." Dax smiled and smoothly chimed her glass against his.

“Here, here.”  
  
Jake took a sip of from his glass; the bubbles delighting his tongue with their effervescent dancing.

“Hmmm.” Jake chuckled to himself.

“What?”

“Well,” he took another sip, “I just realized, this is seriously the poshest first date I’ve ever been on.” Dax’s eyes widened as she shook her head in surprise.

“Wow, you’re right, we’ve spent so much time together I hadn’t even realized this is technically our first real date.” Dax leaned forward onto the table, rolling her eye brows into a cheesy expression and assuming a deep voice. “So, tell me about yourself?” She leaned back into her chair, chuckling.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Jake reached out across the table and took her hand. “Though I will say, I was telling Talia earlier how much there still is that I don’t know about you, and how excited I am to get to learn, you know, on the outside.” Dax squeezed his hand and linked her fingers between his.

“I guess that’s true, honestly, this morning when you asked me to visit Preston, I was well chuffed at the invitation, but I’d also, sort of, forgotten you were from Preston.” Dax rested her chin on her free hand, an embarrassed grimace across her mouth. “It’s like we skipped all the little beginning stuff.” Jake could see Dax rolling her lips together as her eyes started to gleam with curiosity.

“So then let’s have a real first date.” Jake stood up from his chair as Dax laughed her dimples into full pinch.

“What are you doing?” she giggled.

“C’mon, stand up.” Jake reached his hand out to her, and she took it, standing up from her chair. “Ok, come here.” Jake lead her some feet away from the table to the sign that read the name of the cove. He grasped a hand around each of her shoulders and placed her directly in front of the sign.

_Oh! The bubbles._

He darted back to the table and grabbed her glass of champagne. “Ok, so stand here, here’s your drink.”

“You’re mad Jake Wilson.” Dax shook her head, smiling, as Jake jogged a few feet away from the sign toward the entrance pathway. He dropped his hands into his pockets and took out his phone, he looked down onto it and pretended to send a text message before looking up and scanning the beach as if it was full of people. He walked up to where Dax was standing tapped her on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I think you might be my date. Are you Dax?” Dax bit her bottom lip stifling more giggles.

“No sorry, that’s not me.” she laughed raising one eyebrow sarcastically and gestured with her head back to the table. “But another girl was sitting over there just a minute ago.” Jake stuck his tongue out at her.

“Aw c’mon, play along.” He stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout.

“Ok ok, fine.” Dax was grinning from ear to ear. “Yea it’s me. You were much more handsome in your profile picture, but I guess we can still have dinner,” she winked at him and held up her glass. “Care for a drink?”

“I think I’ll get one at the table.” Jake offered his elbow to her, and she linked her arm through it as he led her to her seat. Dax sat as Jake pushed her chair in for her and swiftly moved around to sit in his seat.

“I’m surprised you got a reservation for this place, I mean, there’s hardly ever any seating available.” Dax’s voice dripped with flirtatious teasing while she gestured to the empty beach around them.

“Well, I’m actually the Executive Chef at Sweet Orchard, so I know some people in the kitchen and pulled a few strings.” Jake winked and took a sip of his champagne. “So, Dax, that’s a unique name.” She drew in a deep breath.

“Yea, it’s short for Xalvadora, my family was from originally from Spain.” She shrugged. “But people usually butcher the pronunciation, so I go by Dax.”

“That’s a shame, Xalvadora is a beautiful name, and if I’m not mistaken; it means saviour. You must be pretty special.”

“Oh,” she blushed, “I don’t know about that.” Dax lifted a stuffed olive from the appetizer plate on the table and placed it between her full lips to take a bite.

_She has no idea of the effect she has on me._

Her eyes shined with realization.

“Ahhh, ok wait, you promised me ages ago you’d tell me where you learned Spanish.”

“I understand Spanish; I wouldn’t say I speak it.” Jake popped an olive in his mouth. After culinary school, I lived in San Sebastian, working for a restaurant there and sort of avoiding the rest of my life. The entire staff could understand English, and so I was able to speak to them, but they preferred to speak to each other in Spanish and Basque, so I had to pick it up to know what the hell was going on.” Dax furrowed her eyebrows, her face growing more serious.

“Why did you want to avoid England?” Jake felt a stone form in the back of his throat at her question. He shook his head and took a sit of his champange.

“It’s not really first date conversation.”

“And we’re not really on a first date.” Dax’s voice was gracious and comforting. She reached across the table and slipped her hand into his smiling softly and exuding empathy. “If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to talk about it. I just ask because I want to know all the things that have made you who you are.” Usually, the idea of this conversation made the back of his knees sweat, but all he could think of was how fearless he felt with her hand in his.

“Well, basically,” he cleared his throat. “I lost someone pretty important to me. Her name was Charlotte, we met the first time I was going through rehab.” Jake ran a hand along the side of his head and let out a sigh. “We were together technically two years, but I mean we were both in and out of programs and living in different places. When I decided to get serious about staying sober and about cooking, I applied to culinary school, and she moved to London with me. We lived there for a few months together, but I think the city was too much for her.” Jake looked down at his plate on the table. “We got into this a massive row right before I finished school. I felt like I couldn’t stay sober if we lived together since she’d started up again. I said we should break things off, and then someone found her overdosed at a train station.” Dax’s soft expression held steady. “I couldn’t deal with it properly, I felt like it was my fault because we fought, and I felt a lot of guilt, so I ran away to Spain. I stayed there for two, almost three years.” Dax rubbed her thumb in circles on the back of Jake’s hand.

“I was driving Jake.” Dax took a deep breath. “I was driving the car the night of my parent's accident. Both the police and insurance made it very clear that the other driver was at fault, but it was my fault we were there. I took a wrong turn, and still, sometimes I think about what life would be like if I’d been paying just the slightest bit more attention to the GPS.” She squeezed her hand around his tightly and looked him straight in the eye. “I know that weight Jake, and I’m so sorry, but I also know how strong you are to be here, to keep choosing to move your life forward.” Any stiffness that remained in his body drained away, as his body relaxed into his chair. For a moment it felt as though gravity became stronger holding him to the ground and permanently affixing his hand to hers.

“I’m really happy to have you in my life Dax.” Jake looked across the table at her, the sounds of the beach suddenly seeming worlds away. “I’ve never like felt like I could share some of this with other people, but you, the way you look at me, it’s as if everything I work so hard to keep bottled up suddenly belongs to the open air. And to know you understand - I just - ” he trailed off.

“You are the safest place in the world to me.” Jake lifted her hand from the table and pulled her knuckles into a kiss. The waves crashed around them, sending droplets of water soaring through the evening sun like confetti.

“I swore to myself I wouldn’t jump this particular gun, but, I’m sure it’s written all over my face.” Jake chuckled, “you know I love you, right?” Jake felt emotion building in the top of his chest as his heart began to race.

“What?” Dax’s face washed blank as if her brain couldn’t turn fast enough to process the words she’d heard. Every muscle of her body just froze as a grin crept across her face that quickly stretched from one side to the other, showing every single tooth.

“You don’t have to love me back now, or ever, I don’t know what the future hold for us. All I know is that somehow, I suddenly can’t picture what life would look like without you, and the closest I ever feel to whole is when you look at me with those eyes and those, fucking dimples.” Jake adjusted to lean forward in his seat. “I just keep thinking about how things could’ve gone differently, what if Levi hadn't kissed Cherry? What if we’d hidden in different places during hide and seek? What if you hadn’t heard from Talia I was leaving? I can’t wait to fall in love with every version of you I haven’t met yet – brilliant doctor Dax, homebody Dax, Dax out on the town, when you’ve had a bad day, or your energy is drained, or when you’re insanely stressed - all of you, good and bad.” Jake let out a contented sigh. “But I spent so long pretending not to adore you, I just can’t pretend not to anymore. I love you, Dax, and I want you know that.” Dax smiled, the tip of her tongue peeking out between her teeth as she fought to control the joyous tear creeping into the corner of her eye.

“I had an idea,” she giggled. Jake stood from his chair and held out his hand.

“Walk with me?”

“Anywhere.” Dax took his hand and stood with him as they began to make their way toward the surf. Water raced up to their ankles as Jake curved his arm around Dax’s lower back, guiding her down the beach toward the sunset. The breeze blew strands of her thick hair up in circles around her head. She jumped up ahead of Jake and turned to face him walking backwards. “Don’t let me walk into the ocean, Wilson,” she called over the volume of the growing wind. Dax closed her eyes and stuck her arms out to her side, stepping carefully behind her. At that moment, watching her dance backwards across the sand, every thought in his mind was washed away by the beauty of her ease. From the deepest parts of him, he felt only the ache of wanting to be with her always, to make her feel as free and safe as this moment forever. Jake’s trance was only broken as a splash of water burst up onto his cheek. Dax’s hand flew up to cover her mouth as she laughed.

“Ohmigod, my aim is so much better than I thought it was.” Jake wiped his hand across his face, rubbing the water from his jaw.

“You’re lucky I love you.” He teased, squinting his eyes into an exaggerated glare.

“Mmmmmm,” she sighed, her skin glowing in the dimming sun. “Say it again,” she smiled, biting her bottom lip, her cheeks rising up under her eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jake.” He tossed a sweet growl at her as he ran toward her, winding his arms around her waist. He spun her around, lifting her up, her full-dimpled squeal echoing across the beach. Dax wrapped her arms around his neck first kissing his forehead, then his temple, then his cheek. Eventually, her full lips landed on directly his. Drunk on the pride of confessing his love and the thrill of her laughter, Jake’s only desire was to touch her, to move his hands under the soft cotton of her summer dress and feel her perfect skin. He savoured her lips, and way her breath quickened in time with his own as her body slid down his back to the ground. A kiss like this was a beginning - a promise of cuddles and embraces, passions and submissions, love and friendship, all still to come.


	39. Champion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to anyone who is still reading this fic, I know I took a longer than usual break between chapters but I really hope that those of you who are still with me enjoy this and the next few final chapters. I promise there's still a little bit of drama to come, as well as the ending I've always wanted for Jake and MC.
> 
> Cheers to the rest of this ride, and here's hoping you like it!

“Ok, ok - lads. This one’s a good one.” Reese adjusted the “Best Dressed” and “Most Datable” sashes that were hanging across his chest. “It’s called a gut wrench suplex.” After Jake and Dax had returned from their date on the beach, Dax had immediately run to debrief with the girls and Jake had found his way up into the bedroom. He’d come across Reese, Tim, and Rohan quarrelling about Tim’s weight and the creation of a Love Island Wrestling Federation. After finally agreeing (on account of the small pool of participants) that weight classes might be unnecessary - one thing led to another, and the boys had made an official £100 bet on who would win the champion’s title. Jake’s distinct size advantage over all three of them made him confident he’d come out the other side of the evening £300 richer. The state of euphoric fearlessness produced by his date with Dax tricked him into searching the villa for costume pieces and using Jen’s bright red lipsticks to paint warbands across his arm and chest. Reese had spent forever explaining rules and teaching them moves, though somehow, it seemed every lesson devolved into Tim and Rohan breaking from the group, running around, and trying to tackle Reese, or Jake, or both of them.

“So for this one, basically, like I’ll bend here at the waist and Jake you do a centre grab then twist and pull up and over a lot like the powerbomb, but like, make sure you toss me over the same shoulder as the side you lean in on, yea?” Jake nodded tossing his beach towel cape over his shoulder.

_That £300 is mine._

Reese rushed toward Jake, who grabbed him around the middle. He jumped up and backwards, landing on his bum and rolling backwards, throwing Reese over his shoulder and down onto his back. Reese kicked his feet into the air propelling his body up and forward to standing.

“Ooooooh but King Reese pops up! An incredible display of athleticism!” Reese shouted, clasping his hands together and waving his fist on one side of his body and then the other. Tim raced across the lawn; his arms spread wide like he was impersonating a bird or a wobbly aeroplane.

“CLOTHESLINE!” He shouted, locking hands with Rohan and ramming their joined arms across Reese’s chest, sending them all tumbling over a pair of beanbags.

“Idiot, you could’ve knocked us all in the pool!” 

_Jeez, fucking knobs, wonderful idiotic knobs._

“Tim, are you wearing Jen’s swimsuit?” Dax’s sweet laughter made Jake suddenly very aware of his childish costume. She walked from the daybeds over toward where the three boys were now playfully grappling on the floor. Tim jumped up brushing dirt off of his hands.

_I look like an idiot._

“I mean – it’s not, **not** , Jen’s swimsuit.” Reese started laughing and rubbed a thumb along Tim’s exposed stomach.

“Look, he’s even painted on proper abs.” Reese held up his thumb, which was dark with some sort of make-up. Dax giggled.

“Fooled me too Dax,” Rohan sat up and stretched his legs out along the grass. “He convinced me he’d spent last night doing 2000 sit-ups.” Tim cleared his throat and gestured his arms out wide.

“Okay. Let’s not – it was important for the costume.” Jake jogged over to Dax and kissed her on the cheek letting his arm rest around her shoulders.

“Reese was teaching us some moves, so we can have the first-ever Love Island Wresting Federation.” He pulled his free arm into a curl as hard as he could as Dax reached up and squeezed his bicep with her hand. Her eyes went wide as she felt his arm and whispered in his ear.

“Maybe you could show me some of those moves… later.”

_Abso-fucking-lutely_

“Yea!” Tim chimed in. “We’re practising for the Heavy-Weight Championship match.” Dax eyed Tim up and down.

“Heavyweight?” She joked, crinkling her nose and shrugging exaggeratedly. Jake tightened his grip around Dax, leaning in close to her as if he was telling her a secret. Still, he spoke loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Well, we had to be pretty flexible with the weight limits in the federation.” Jake winked at Tim. “Since, well, it’s basically just the four of us.” Reese smiled and walked over to Dax. 

“Care to join us?” She smiled broadly.

“That might actually be so fun!” 

"We’d need a referee?” Dax’s eyebrow raised into snarky offence.

“Are you saying I can’t wrestle?”

_Oh, don’t challenge her mate._

“I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be fair, since you’re… well, you’re…” Dax planted her hands firmly on her hips.

“Since I’m what Reese? The same weight a Timye and twice as nimble?” Rohan let out a sharp breath through his nose as he pinched his lips to contain a grin.

“Mate, look at her arms – I don’t know if you want to test her.” 

Rohan stood up and walked over to Dax pinching his fingers around her biceps. Jake couldn’t help but feel a small flutter of excitement bouncing around his chest at the idea of Dax tearing Reese to the ground. He knew first-hand how solid she was, he’d felt the strength in her legs when she’d wrapped them around his waist holding herself up against his thrusts, and he had the scratches on his shoulder to prove her grip.

_Reese has no idea what he’s just stepped in._

“If you’re inviting me to join, invite me as a player, not as a bimbo ref or ring girl.” Dax crossed her arms across her chest. Jake always knew Dax was forward, but this new edge of confidence and self-assurance was exciting him.

“Fine, fine,” Reese raised his hands up, exposing his palms. “If you want to wrestle, we can wrestle, but I’m not going to take it easy. You know I do this professionally, right?” Dax was running her fingers through her hair and pulling it up into a messy bun. She narrowed her eyes toward him.

“You’re a newsman Taylor, wrestling is a hobby. I bet I could take a double team and still win.” Dax looked back over her shoulder and winked at Jake, who felt warmth rinse across his cheeks at the double entendre. 

_She doesn’t mean… she couldn’t._

“WOW” Tim was bouncing up and down with excitement. “Shots absolutely fired from Dax the Savage.”

“A double team?”

“Yep. Tim or Rohan and you.” She stepped toward him, a determined fire in her eyes.

“For the title then - ” Reese lifted his hands to press air quotes with his fingers “savage.” Reese waved Tim over to him and stepped closer to Dax. “KO is a three count down on your back, faces and groin off-limits, winner takes the glory and £100 from the loser.”

“Get out your wallet Reese,” she turned to Jake her eyes sparkling, “ref for us, soldier?”

“Happy to.” Jake pulled his cape off over his head and tossed it to the ground as he made his way in between Dax and the guys. Rohan began to hoot and holler while occasionally imitating the sound of a large crowd. Jake held his arm out straight between the competitors and looked each in the eye. “Ok, now, I want a fair match, call uncle if you want out before three.”

“LET’S GET READY TO RUMMMMBLEEEEE” Rohan was jumping and shouting while pumping his fists in the air. Jake held back laughter as he began to countdown.

“3…2…1… GO!” He lifted his arm in the air as Dax, Reese, and Tim all settled into a crouch. Tim was first to make a move diving straight for Dax’s legs. Still, she was quick. And as she saw Tim lurch toward her, she leapt up over him, touching down off to his side while he landed face-first into the grass. Reese was trickier than Tim, lunging sideways and catching Dax around the waist as she narrowly avoided Tim’s dive. A gruff _oof_ escaped her lips as Reese matched his other arm behind her back and attempted to flip her forward onto the ground. Her lithe body curled tightly around his arms, allowing her to land squarely on her feet after a nice front tuck.

_Atta girl. Fuck, she makes everything look good._

“Ha!” she cried, thrashing her left arm back towards impact with Reese’s shoulders, pushing him severely off balance and into the pool. Tim was brushing grass from his face as Dax launched toward him.

“Oh shi-” she rammed her shoulder into his stomach, throwing him backwards onto the ground with her on top of him. Tim lifted his arms toward her shoulder, attempting to peel her from his stomach, but her grip was too tight. Jake bounded over and knelt down next to Tim’s head. Dax shimmied up Tim’s body, her legs wrapping around his knees and her arms now holding his arms up over his head. Jake slapped his palm onto the ground as he started to count.

“ **1!** ”

Jake could see Reese pulling himself up onto the edge of the pool as Tim wriggled ineffectively against Dax’s grasp.

“ **2!** ”

Reese tore off the now dripping sashes off over his head as he raced to Dax.

“ **3!** Timye is out of the match!” Rohan cheered loudly as Dax stood and held her hand out to Tim. Before he could grasp it, Reese came charging from behind pressing his foot into the back of Dax’s legs sending her tumbling into a back roll and ultimately onto her knees. Dax long hair snapped free from the elastic she'd used to tie it back, the long carmel strands flowing out into the air behind her. The pair began to grapple as Jake helped Tim stand.

“Fuck bruv, don’t tell Jen I said this, but I couldn’t’ve stayed decent for more than your count of three with Dax on top of me like that. You’ve caught yourself quite a body Jakey-boy.” Tim ran his hands through his hair. “Don’t fucking let her go.” He crossed his brows and looked up at Jake seriously. “And does she always smell like cinnamon?” Jake chuckled and shook his head. He watched as her intense eyes glowed with determination and her thick hair framed her gorgeous golden eyes as she tussled with Reese.

“Yup. She always smells like cinnamon.”

Reese had twisted Dax into a sort of leg lock with his legs wrapped around hers, winding around her shin and pulling her down to the ground. Jake ran over and kneeled next to her as Rohan and Tim started loudly boo’ing at Reese and chanting for Dax to escape. Jake again, slapped his palm onto the ground as he started to count.

“ **1!** ”

Reese laughed as Dax crossed her ankle under her thigh, tucking her heel into the crook of his knee.

“ **2!** ”

Jake could see Dax beginning to twist one of her legs free, and so he paused just an extra moment before calling the match.

She pressed hard, freeing her trapped leg and using it to kick away the leg Reese had wrapped around her. Her kick pushed Reese onto his back and freed her entirely, allowing her to lift her shoulders from the ground and dive forward onto Reese. Tim had been easy for her to pin. His lack of focus and his size had made them relatively evenly matched, but Reese was taller and stronger than both her and Tim.

_She’s going to have to get creative._

Dax reached around his body and quickly flipped Reese onto his stomach underneath her, wrapping her arms under his shoulders and around the back of his neck, pinning him to the ground in a surprisingly decent headlock. Jake broke into a grin as he scooted forward to call the match, speaking slightly quicker than he had with Tim.

“ **1! 2! 3!** ” Dax slithered her arms from out around his neck as Reese turned over underneath her panting. She straddled him laughing, a mean smirk across her face.

“I told you I’d win.” Reese smiled, pulling his arms up behind his head and relaxing his hips underneath hers.

“I should’ve believed you” he joked, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up so they could both stand. Dax turned and walked toward Jake, and over her shoulder, Jake could see Reese staring at her ass. Jake knew he should’ve been jealous; he knew that merely days ago the sight of Dax straddling another mate would’ve made his brain fill with frustration and a craving for something powdered. Still, after everything they’d been through, after their night in the hideaway, and their date on the beach, there wasn’t an ounce of him that felt suspicious. In fact, for the first time, he began to vaguely understand Levi; there was something uncontrollably arousing about seeing Tim and Reese’s obvious attraction to Dax, watching them sort of want her, and knowing she was entirely his. 

____________________________________________

Jake dipped out on the boys dressing room as soon as he was dressed. Everyone was nervous about the dumping, and it made the air too tense, and the guys way too macho. He couldn’t handle all the speculation and more than anything he couldn’t handle Levi, his aggressive comments, or the way he made everyone in the room uncomfortable. Jake wandered over towards the girls’ room and knocked on the frame leaning his head into the room.

“Evening ladies.” The girls rang out a sweet chorus of hellos as Dax looked up from her seat at a vanity. The glow of the incandescent bulbs reflected rings in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I just wanted to steal you away if you were dressed, but I don’t want to interrupt if you’re not ready.”

“No, I’m done,” she smiled “we were just getting into some goss. Let me just grab my shoes.” Dax stood up, and Jake’s knees nearly buckled. She was wearing a black strapless top that accentuated her collar bone and toned back, and a sinfully tight wickedly short black leather skirt.

_Fuck me._

She walked over to the closet and bent far forward to pick up her shoes. As she leaned over, Jake could see the very bottom of her full ass peeking out from the bottom of her skirt. He had to pull on the waist and zipper of his pants as subtly as he could to avoid letting his arousal become hilariously obvious.

 _She knows I’m watching._

“Ok soldier, where to?” She asked, skipping towards the door, her shoes in her hands. She slipped her free hand in his as they walked through the bedroom and the garden door. “We could probably get some nice quiet over by the-” Jake cut her off, slamming his body against hers and pressing her up against the villa wall. His lips immediately found her collar bone and his hands pressed hard into her hips.

“You’ve got some nerve.” Jake’s voice was full of domineering confidence. “You make me spend all evening watching you tumble around with other men, and then you wear this…” he whispered his words along the side of her neck. Dax relaxed her body into his, dropped her shoes, and let out a soft chuckle as she leaned her neck into his lips.

“I just thought you’d like it, that it would please you, sir, the leather…” Dax's arms found their way around his neck as she wove her fingers through his hair. The feel of her nails on his scalp made Jake dizzy with desire as he continued pressing his hips forward into hers. Dax wrapped her ankle around the back of his calf and rubbed her leg up and down along his.

“Oh it pleases me,” Jake bit down on the tendon in her neck, he could feel the chill run down her body as she shivered. “You’re getting so good a learning what I like, but how am I supposed to focus on anything that happens tonight when all I can focus on is imagining what’s under that tight little skirt - ” Jake dropped a hand from her hips to the edge of her skirt. He traced his middle finger just inside the bottom hem drawing slowly back and forth across her thigh. “ – imagining that gorgeous ass bent over for me – ” He dropped his other hand and hooked his fingers under the bottom hem of the skirt pulling it slowly up towards her waist. “ – imagining being inside you.” Dax moaned softly as Jake’s lips finally found hers, as he pulled away, she whispered.

“Aren’t you afraid someone will walk out here?”

“Not more than I want to touch you.” Jake slipped a hand under her raised skirt to find her soft skin completely bare. Jake leaned his head down onto her shoulder, breaking from his authoritarian character as his fingertips grazed her slit. “Oh Dax,” he whined breathlessly, “have mercy, I’m only a man.” Dax giggled.

“It was supposed to be a surprise, for later.” Dax stroked the back of his neck as he began to rub small circles along the crest of her lips with the pads of his fingers. Her voice became slow and moaning as he played with her. “But I guess it’s a surprise for now.” Jake could feel her growing wetter as she began rolling her hips forward onto his hand. Jake drew more forceful circles around her clit, and Dax moaned softly. "Being quiet will be so hard," she groaned. Jake slipped his long middle finger inside her, pressing gently back toward his hips. Dax caught her breath, tightening her arms tightly around his neck as one of her knees gave out. Jake twirled his finger inside her each movement careful and beautifully agonizing as he could tell he was driving her wild. But, their time was running short, and his erection was growing long. Jake pressed a second finger deep inside of her, letting the heel of his palm rub against her clit as her eyes fluttered with waves of pleasure.

“Oh god Jake,” she was now bucking her hips into his hand “I’m yours” she sighed. He lived and breathed for these moments. These flashes of time where her body was putty in his hands and her heart was his for safekeeping. Heat radiated down his spine as the curls of his fingers grew faster and faster. He wanted to pleasure himself, he did, but he couldn’t escape the sheer elation of watching ecstasy roll down her face as she came, and knowing he’d brought her there. “God I love a quickie, fuck me,” Dax groaned and giggled as Jake pulled his hand from between her legs.  
  
“Later angel. Believe me, I will.” Dax reached to flatten out her skirt and wiggled her hips from side to side as she pulled it back down.

“You can steal me from the dressing room absolutely any time you want to do that.” Dax winked and planted a sweet kiss on Jake’s lips.

“You promise?” Jake raised his eyebrows playfully resting his hand on the wall above her shoulder and leaning down toward her face.

“Pinky swear,” she bit her bottom lip and offered up her smallest finger.

_Adorable, and sexy, and mine._


	40. Shocks and Goodbyes

“Back at home, I think I can sometimes really put the blinders on.” Jake held his champagne flute tightly in one hand with his other wrapped around Dax’s waist. “My job can be so intense that I forget to stop and look around at the people who are so intimately involved in making my life so full. I forget to tell people when I appreciate them and how much I appreciate them.” Jake scanned his eyes across the group of islanders. His gaze landed on Rohan who looked uncharacteristically composed, his arm draped around Lucy’s shoulders. “And it’s funny, even though I know I do that – with the intensity of this place, the pressure we’ve all felt. It was like I’d fallen into that same pattern. I won’t let tonight go by without correcting that.”

Jake pulled Dax closer to his hip and locked eyes with Talia. A warm relaxation spread over his shoulders, thinking of the two women who meant so much to him. “Thank you, thank you all. I know that things here aren’t perfect, I know that some of us are quite close and some of us are not.” His gaze landed on Cherry, who looked back at him, her piercing blue eyes carrying bittersweet understanding. “All I know is that every single one of you here has been part of changing my life in the best way, and permanently. Everyone here has got plenty to celebrate, and everyone deserves to be so proud of making it this far. Whenever we leave, whoever wins – there is love in our hearts and true friendship behind us.” Jake lifted his glass in the air and gestured his arm out toward the group. “So, cheers to us mates, and cheers to the last night on Love Island!” Everyone in the group burst into cheers as people began to hug and laugh. Dax leaned her head into Jake’s chest.

“That was good, solider.” She nuzzled against him, purring gently.

“Hell, yes!!” Erikah shouted, flinging her arms around Reese’s neck as edgy EDM music began to blast from the speakers. Good vibes and positive energy filled the air spreading through the islanders like a contagion seemingly erasing any lingering tension. Rohan immediately leapt forward onto his hands, walking in rhythm across the lawn as Lucy and Cherry cheered. Jake felt Dax slip her hand in his and pull him toward the lit dance floor that had been set up next to the pool. The bright blues and greens of the dance floor and the pool lights made it feel like they were walking across the northern lights themselves. At the same time, the heavy beat of the music reverberated steadily across Jake’s ribs. Erikah had pulled Reese close to her, and the pair was swaying off of the beat, smiling at each other like school children. Dax dropped Jake’s hand and dashed to grasp hands with Talia and Jen. Her hair flipped around her body as she shimmied around with them, laughing as if the moment might last forever. Watching Dax’s body flow with the music as she twirled and twisted to the beat forced Jake’s face into a euphoric smile.

_She is too beautiful for this world._

Suddenly Jake understood, clichés always came from somewhere right? The person who first spoke of a ‘heart of gold’ must’ve been watching someone like Dax. Watching the way her eyes beamed with affection for her friends. Watching as her soul and sensuality burst through the curves of her movement to paint the most beguiling picture of femininity. The person who came up with ‘heart of gold’ could only have been describing a person as undeniably radiant as Dax, though Jake couldn’t imagine any other woman ever coming close. He couldn’t help but laugh as the girls begin to ‘make it rain’ while bursting into a fit of giggles as Tim started to strip from his shirt.

“Hey!” Talia laughed, raising her drink in the air as Jasper wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. “No stripping unless we get facts about Spain!” Jen nodded energetically jumping up and down and clapping her hands together furiously.

“Mmmmm, well the history of Spanish art truly begins in the late stone age.” Tim ripped open the front of his shirt while twisting his hips into a clumsy figure eight. “It was then that the Iberian Peninsula was the centre of rock and cave painting.”

_What a geezer._

Jake chuckled to himself as he threw back the rest of his champagne and wandered up behind Dax dropping his arms around her waist and pulling his body up against her back. He leaned down and kissed her cheek as the tone of the music switched to a sultrier trance style rhythm. Heat radiated from her already moving body onto his as she rolled her hips, grinding herself into him. Dax crossed her hands in front of her body, slipping her hands into his. She pulled drawing one of his arms over her head so that she spun to face him. He pulled her hips close to his, and the sweet vanilla smell of her hair filled his senses as she leaned her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jake could feel his heart beating against his chest as she pressed her body into his, and they moved in sultry time with the music. Dax lifted her head to look up at Jake, a small growl escaped her lips.

“This feeling, this safe feeling of being wrapped up in your arms, it makes me so fucking attracted to you.” Her eyes glittered with lust as Jake leaned down to kiss her full lips. “Mmmmmm.” She hummed as she closed her eyes and slid a leg between his knees. She swirled her hips forward against his, suggestively rubbing her body against him. Jake could feel his slacks tightening as he looked down on her slight frame and rubbed his hands along the soft leather of her skirt. “Well hello there, soldier –“ Dax’s voice trailed off as she dropped one of her hands down between them, playfully and subtly stroking him above his pants.

_If I thought I was the dom in this relationship, I was wrong, she’s got me wrapped around her finger. Fuck._

Jake felt a twinge of realization pass behind his eyes.

_Wait, we’re not **in** a relationship, technically - _

He looked down at Dax, lifting her chin with his thumb and kissed her deeply. Dax brought her hand up from between them and rested it on his cheek.

“You trying to distract me, Wilson?” Dax winked, giggling and biting the edge of her bottom lip. Jake immediately thought of the girl he’d been so smitten with on day one. The girl in the vibrant red bikini with deep brown eyes ringed with golden flecks, biting her bottom lip.

_\- but I want this to be a relationship, officially._

“I’m so in love with you.” Jake’s tone was more serious as he looked down at her. “What do you think about – “ Jake suddenly felt the twitter of vibration in his pocket and Dax stepped back as he reached in his pocket.

_Shit._

“I guess this is it,” Jake took a deep breath and looked into Dax’s disappointed eyes. “I’ve got a text.”

____________________________________________

Everyone stood anxiously around the firepit, waiting on bated breath for the sound of a phone. Jake could sense Dax’s nerves in the way she kept changing the position with which she held his hand. Fingers laced, unlaced, cupped, back to fingers laced, over and over as she kept her eyes trained on the ground. A shudder dripped down his back as Erikah’s phone beeped loudly.

> **Islanders, the public has been voting for their favourite couples. The three couples with the most votes will be protected from tonight’s dumping. Who leaves will then be decided by you.**

_What the fuck._

“You’re joking,” Jen exclaimed. “Some of us have to decide?” 

“Oh fuckin’ hell.” Levi rolled his eyes, dropping Cherry’s hand and wiping his hands across his eyes.

“That’s me.” Reese stepped forward awkwardly tapping at his phone. “Jen and Tim are the first couple safe.”

_They absolutely deserve that._

Tim let out a massive sigh of relief before turning to kiss Jen. Another phone buzzed, and Lucy cleared her throat.

“Sorry all, that was mine.” Lucy dropped Rohan’s hand and stepped forward while unlocking her phone. “The next couple safe is Erikah and Reese.” Reese’s jaw dropped in surprise as Erikah pulled him into a forceful hug.

_Wow, I wonder what the public has seen of those two._

“Well, okay then.” Reese chuckled sitting down with Erikah as Cherry’s phone chimed loudly.

“The last couple safe is –“Cherry’s eyebrows furrowed into a sad glare as she read the message. “-Dax and Jake.” Time stopped as Jake’s ears began to ring and he felt Dax press a kiss onto his cheek, he wanted to be happy, to enjoy that he was in the love island final with the woman he loved. But all he could do was think about Talia and Rohan still vulnerable and standing just feet from him.

_We’re going to have to pick between them._

Jake could feel his heartbeat in his temples as his mouth began to dry out. It was as if someone had attached him to a low power shock collar, his skin stinging, without it being enough voltage to cause real harm. Dax’s must’ve noticed his unease as she threaded her arms under his and around his body, pulling him into a tight hug.

“We’re going to make it through this ok?” She looked up at him, her deep eyes full of empathy, and Jake felt a small bit of his breath return to his lungs. “We’re still here.” Dax released her grip around his chest, and Jake followed behind her as they walked over to join the other safe couples. Dax’s phone lit up in her hand.

> **Congratulations to all the safe islanders, the three safe couples must now decide together on the fourth couple that will join them in the final. The couples not chosen will be dumped from the Villa immediately.**

Jake followed Dax, still rendered voiceless at the choice ahead of them, his ears ringing loudly. How could he possibly choose? How could he look at his two best mates and know he’d been part of sending one of them home? Rohan had been the only lad on the island that Jake could really talk to, the one who’d always helped him see the big picture. Rohan was practically his kid brother. But Talia, wonderful Talia, was the person who’d kept him sane, who’d pulled him up every time he was down, who convinced Dax to tell Jake how she felt. His mind raced as the group whispered back and forth forcefully.

“No, it’s obviously Cherry and Levi who need to stay.” Reese was shaking his head and gritting his teeth. “They’ve been through so much here. It’s not right to send them home, not right before the final.” Jake saw Tim rub a hand heavily down his face.

“Mate, they don’t work together, or at least, not yet. That’ll be something they have to figure out on the outside anyway. Levi has made it clear again and again he’s not over Dax.” Dax swallowed hard as her eyes dropped to the floor and her brows contorted into a guilty scowl. Jake reached out, placing a hand on her lower back. “No, Dax, no – none of us here blame you or Jake, you guys did what you had to so that you could be happy.” Jen reached out and squeezed Dax’s hand.

“Seriously babe, you two are so great together.” Jen turned to face Reese. “Tim is right, even if what Cherry and Levi went through was difficult, that doesn’t mean they’re a good couple.” Erikah rolled her eyes.

“Fine whatever, we’re clearly outnumbered about Cherry and Levi.” Erikah tossed her hair over her shoulder and leaned forward. “But that means it’s got to be Lucy and Rohan in the final. He’s easily the boy everyone would miss most, and he’s so important to me, and I know Tim and Jake you love him too, right?” She crossed her arms.

The mention of his name shook Jake into awareness of the conversation. His palms were growing sweaty as the safe islanders looked for him to weigh in. He opened his mouth his lips moving slightly, forming the beginning of words that he couldn’t bring himself to speak as his lungs felt like they were folding in on themselves.

“No,” Dax came to his rescue, interrupting the silence and turning to look at him, “you don’t have to weigh in on this right now. You don’t have to choose.” Air suddenly refilled his lungs. “We can’t just choose based on who we like.” Erikah stepped towards Dax her lips pressed into an irritated frown.

“We can choose for any reason we want.” 

“Erikah,” Jen sighed, “this place is about love we have to choose for the right reasons.”

“What’s even right?” Reese grabbed Erikah’s hand and was the first person to raise his voice above a whisper as he shrugged his free arm sarcastically. “Right? Could be anything, just like right should be Cherry and Levi.” Tim sighed exasperatedly.

“We’ve already moved past that mate.” Tim pointed sternly at Reese. “Plus, your bird wants Rohan and Lucy to stay anyway.” The voices grew angrier around him as Jake felt the edges of his vision begin to grow hazy.

“You guys,” Dax whispered harshly. “Stop it. We’re not going to get anywhere like this.” She twisted her hair into a knot behind her head. “Look. Clearly, everyone has different reasons for wanting different people to stay or go, and we’re not going to just magically agree. So, everyone gets a vote, and we settle on whatever majority rules, ok?” The islanders shook their heads solemnly. “Reese, Erikah. You start.”

“I don’t care if it’s a wasted vote – my vote is Cherry and Levi.”

“Rohan and Lucy.” Dax slipped her hand back into Jake’s as Jen stepped forward.

“I’m with Tim, I know I’ll really miss Talia, but I’ve still got you girls, so we’re both voting for Ro to stay.”

_That’s majority._

Jake felt his heart stop in his chest as Dax squeezed his hand tightly. She cleared her throat.

“Well, that’s majority. I think Jake and I were going to vote for Talia and Jasp, but Rohan and Lucy have three votes.” Jen let out a deep sigh as she rubbed her hands along the outside of her arms to warm herself.

“I’ll announce it.” Jen turned to look at Tim, who put his arm around her waist, leading her and the other islanders back toward the firepit. Jake fought to keep his chin from quivering as he felt his throat begin to tighten. “We’ve made our decision. I think we all felt how hard this was, so please know we didn’t make it lightly.” Jen licked her lips and pushed out a deep breath. “The couple we’ve chosen to save is Rohan and Lucy.”

Rohan and Lucy smiled and stayed silent for a moment as they turned to hug each other. Before anyone else spoke Tim’s phone chimed loudly.

> **Congratulations! The couples through to the Love Island Final are Jen and Tim, Erikah and Reese, Dax and Jake, and Rohan and Lucy. The four remaining islanders have been dumped. Please get ready to lease the Villa immediately.**

Jake finally turned to face Talia, tears in his eyes. The islanders all began to gather around Rohan and Lucy, but Jake made a beeline toward for Talia. He folded her into a tight hug and pressed his cheek down on the top of her head.

“Awwww, my love - ” her velvet voice rang up to his ears from against his chest. She kept her arms wrapped around him but leaned away so she could look up into his face. Her usually bright blue eyes were reddening, and her voice was breaking. “I’m going to be fine, Jasper and I are going to have such fun on the outside getting to know each other more.” She rested her head against him again.

“Tals what am I going to do without you? Jake chuckled through his tears. “I know it’s just one day left in here, but after that, you’ll be all the way down in Watford, and I’ll be in Preston, and I’m going to make so many dumb mistakes with Dax without your help.” Talia’s laugh was bittersweet. She pulled from his hug and took both his hands in hers.

“Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to fucking win this thing.” Talia delicately rubbed the bottom of her eyes with both middle fingers. “You and Dax have been through so much to be together, and honestly, there’s no fucking way the public doesn’t see that. You guys are going to win, and then you’re going to use some of that prize money to get us all a lush weekend in London without all these other clowns, ok?” Jake laughed and pulled her close again.

“Absolutely.”

“Any chance the rest of us will get to hug her?” Dax’s weak voice called from behind him. Jake smiled and released Talia toward Dax, who was standing near the fire with Jen. Talia pulled Dax into a hug and reached an arm out to Jen.

“Come help me pack girls?” The girls and other islanders wandered off toward the bedroom dispersing in various different directions through a mixed chorus of goodbyes and well wishes. Before he knew it, Jake stood alone at the firepit with Levi. Levi dropped down onto the firepit bench and crossed his arms. Jake began to make his way toward the kitchen but barely made it a few steps before Levi spoke up.

“You’re going to lose her, you know.” Jake turned to face him a stone forming in the back of his throat.

_This fucking asshole._

“If you want to clear the air we absolutely can, I don’t like how you treated her, but I’m not above moving forward like adults. But this bullshit? The intimidation - I’m not doing this with you anymore, Levi.” Levi chuckled, adjusting his seat on the bench so that he could lean his palms toward the fire.

“It’s not intimidation Wilson, it’s a warning. Man, to man.” Levi looked up at Jake through the flames. “I don’t know what kind of fucking fantasy you’ve worked out in your head about her loving you, but believe me, she doesn’t love you. She’s taking a vacation from her usual type, there’s a fucking difference.”

“Look, I’m sorry you lost her, but that wasn’t my fault, it was yours.” Jake took a step toward Levi, his temper flaring behind his eyes and balling up his fists. Levi laughed again, condescension dripping from his casual posture and passive tone.

“Oh I’m aware it wasn’t your fault, but it’s adorable you think I was worried you stole her from me.” Levi planted his hands onto his knees and pushed up to standing. “She wouldn’t have stayed with me just like she won’t stay with you. Broken people always go back to their broken habits.” Jake thrust a finger into the centre of Levi's chest.

"Keep your opinion on my relationship to yourself. It means nothing. You mean nothing." Levi smiled cunningly and stepped around Jake to make his way toward the Villa.

"What relationship? You're not her boyfriend and this is a fucking TV show. You think you've got something so special - she's just having fun and looking forward to the cash prize. She likes being desired and she loves the drama of suffering, but you've been with her, you know. She begs to be fucked and used." Jake clenched his fists tightly at his sides.

“Fuck you. Say what you want about me, but if I **ever** hear another bad word about Dax come from your mouth -” Levi interrupted him.

“What you’re gonna hit me, Jake?” Levi chuckled to himself. “Hitting me can’t be worth £50,000.” Jake’s skin was stinging with electricity as he fought to control every muscle in his body. He was breathing so fast and so hard he could barely hear Levi's words over his own rage. Standing silently was all he could do not to take Levi by the throat and end up kicked off the island, or worse, in jail. "With you? She'll get bored. You'll see. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Before Levi got far, he turned back, snapped his fingers, and let out a short whistle. “Oh, shit, last thing. I’ve got to pack since you lot voted to get rid of me, but I meant to ask. She calls you soldier too, right? It always felt a sort of odd little pet name for me, but I can see you really getting off on that shit.” With that, he turned on his heels and walked off toward the kitchen.

_What the fuck._


	41. Doubts

Jake stormed up the stairs toward the bedroom and rushed inside. Erikah was sitting on the far bed with her arm around Cherry’s shoulders as Cherry zipped her suitcase shut. He’d spent some time sitting alone at the firepit trying to process Levi’s claim, but all too late he realized, he needed to talk to Talia.

“Hey is Talia still packing, is she still up here?” Cherry looked up from her bag, her eyes red and puffed.

“Um, I don’t think so.” She placed her hand over Erikah’s on her shoulder and then turned to walk toward Jake. “Look, I was actually hoping we’d get a second to chat before we all had to leave.” Guilt passed through his heart and turned his stomach.

_Why does Cherry always need to talk when I’m actively looking for someone else._

The sight of her shaking chin and clenched jaw intensified the shame Jake felt for all the times he’d overlooked Cherry for Dax, all the times Cherry had been kind and caring, while Dax had been keeping him on the back burner, and apparently doubling up on pet names. Part of him knew the depth of Levi’s pride, he knew Levi would say anything to feel like he had the upper hand, to make himself feel like the alpha male. Still, if any bits of what he’d said was true, it meant that everything Jake had been through was ultimately a sham. Just days ago her use of the nickname gave him confidence that she’d thought of him fondly all long as she claimed, that since day dot he'd made her feel safe. But what if her affectionate nickname had just been a placeholder, an attempt to look appealing for the public? What is she **was** in it for the money? Jake started to feel dizzy as anxious thoughts tumbled around his head, and he tried to focus his vision on Cherry.

“Sure, Cherry, I should’ve made sure I found you sooner.” Jake stepped to the side and dropped down to sit on the edge of the dresser at the end of the bed.

“I just wanted to clear the air between us.” Cherry sat next to him. "I know our last real conversation was kind of … harsh. And I just; well I just wanted you to know that my feelings about Dax, my distrust of her –

_God, am I the only one who didn’t see it? Am I a fucking fool?_

_“ -_ it has nothing to do with you, Jake. You are one of the loveliest men I know, and I do hope we can stay friends on the outside because really –

_No, stop, you have to stop. Why are you giving all this fucking energy to Levi, of all people?_

“So, anyway, we’re good right?” Jake cleared his throat and took a deep breath pausing to focus the little remaining energy he had on Cherry.

_1…2…3…_

“We’re fine, Cherry,” he looked into her eyes and grabbed her hand. “I really am sorry for the way things played out, and I’m sorry in advance for anything you see in the playback that was inconsiderate. I’ll apologize more thoroughly once things calm down and we can really chat. You’re going to find someone wonderful who deserves you and is so excited to be with you, I can’t wait for it for you.” He pulled her into a swift hug and then hastily turned to the door refocusing his sights on getting advice from Talia.

His heart sank as he clamoured down the stairs and saw that nearly everyone else from the Villa was already gathered at the front door hugging Talia and Jasper goodbye. He wouldn’t get the chance to talk to her, she couldn’t help him set his head straight before talking to Dax. With this one, he was on his own.

“Ohhh, Jake!” Talia called out looking up the stairs. “I thought you were going to just let us walk out.” Jake hopped down the stairs, a flood of sadness returning as he approached her open arms.

“Thank you for, for just everything Talia.”

“Of course babes, like I said at the beginning, We’re going to be friends for a long time. You’re a proper sort, and I’m not letting you out of my life. I’ll see you on the outside, yea?” She let him go and turned to Dax. “Take care of my boy, ok?” Dax nodded tenderly as Talia turned to take Jasper’s hand, and doubt seeped back into the corners of Jake’s mind.

“Well all, this is it.” Jasper pulled Talia close and kissed her cheek as Erikah and Cherry emerged at the top of the stairs.

“What are you guys looking forward to on the outside?” Erikah called out from the top of the stairs.

“Well,” Jasper crooned, “I’m most excited to see where things go with Talia,” Talia smiled broadly.

“And I’m well chuffed to sleep in a room with just the two of us.” The islanders laughed. Jake nodded his head happily but stayed silent, knowing that trying to speak above his tightening throat would release visible emotion he wasn’t ready to display. Talia tossed her hair over her shoulder. “It’s not my style to make a big fuss of this kind of thing, so I guess all that’s left is for me to say how much I love you guys, and how much fun I’ve had this summer. It’s always going to be one of the best experiences of my life.”

“Bye, everyone.” Jasper squeezed her hand and waved as everyone burst into applause. Jake’s stomach was in knots by the time Talia and Jasper had made it to the end of the driveway. Levi’s voice behind him certainly didn’t help.

“Well lads, and ladies, this is it.” Levi clipped down the stairs bumping into Jake’s shoulder on the way. “We’re off.” Levi stopped in the middle of the foyer his back completely turned to Cherry who was struggling to carry her suitcase down the stairs.

_Prick._

Jake hopped a few steps up to grab the suitcase from Cherry.

“Here – let me.” She smiled back at him softy pausing a moment to catch her breath.

“Thank you, you wouldn’t think you could pack so much for only 5 weeks, but I really did.” Cherry chuckled sadly, “crazy to think it’s all over.” As Jake turned to pull the bag down the stairs, he caught a glimpse of Levi pulling Dax into a hug. He was surprised at how intimate It seemed, Levi had pulled her close and had one arm around her shoulder, but the other cupped around the back of her neck. As she pulled away, Levi buried his fingers in her hair and whispered something in Dax’s ear. Jake almost dropped the suitcase, his head suddenly filled with a falling sensation, like he’d tipped a chair too far backwards and the legs were slipping out from underneath him over and over again. His own thoughts had started a war against him.

_What the fuck did he just say to her? Why did they hug like that? Holy shit, I’m a fucking mug, aren’t I? I should just go home; I should just leave now, so it doesn’t all play out on national TV?_

Pushing his feet forward to drop Cherry’s bag at the bottom of the stairs was tangibly draining, and it was as if his body might evaporate into nothing. Levi and Cherry were making their announced goodbyes to the group as he caught eyes with Dax. She walked over to him and slipped her hand in his, but Jake quickly pulled his hand away.

“Hey. Are you alright?” Dax whispered, looking up at him, her cheeks turning flush with unease.

“It’s fine.” She furrowed her brows and pursed her lips into a confused frown.

“You don’t seem fine.” Levi looked at everyone in the room one by one looking last at Dax. Jake could see over her shoulder that Levi maintained eye contact with her the entire time he spoke.

“We all know that this isn’t the outcome that I was hoping for, and honestly, I don’t know yet how I’ll look back on my time here. But still, being here was the most amazing experience of my life, and that’s because of the people that were here.” Levi’s voice was shaky, and a single tear ran down his cheek.

_Laying it on thick there asshole._

“I love you.” He paused. “I love you all, anytime we’re in the same town, hit me up.” Levi took a deep breath and dried his eyes on his sleeve.

_I’ve had enough of this bullshit._

Jake turned away and walked back up the stairs and through the bedroom to the kitchen. He ducked down to the cabinet under the sink and grabbed for the bottle of whiskey. He sipped the drink, letting it burn his tongue and cheeks, as footsteps approached behind him.

“Jake what’s going on?” Dax’s voice was calm but unyielding. Jake threw back a shot and started to pour another. “Jake.” She stretched her hand out, placing her palm over the top of his glass, preventing him from picking it up. “It is Talia?” Jake slid the glass out from under her hand forcefully and threw it back. “I know tonight has been difficult. I just don’t understand why you won’t talk to me?” Dax’s voice was choking with dejection.

“Why do you call me solider?” Jake’s voice was biting and short, and Dax’s head recoiled in confusion.

“You’re upset because I call you solider?” She shook her head. “Wait, didn’t we talk about this a few days ago?” Jake pursed his lips and nodded his head.

“We did. And you said the nickname stuck because of how you felt like I’d protect you from anything.”

“Call me crazy here, Jake, but I’m really struggling to connect the dots.” She reached out to touch his arm lovingly. “Why don’t we go upstairs and get ready for bed and we can chat with clear heads in the morning.”

“Levi told me that’s what you called him too.” Jake turned to face her, making eye contact for the first time since she’d come down into the kitchen. “After the dumping, he stopped me and told me that you used that nickname for both of us. I dove into this relationship headfirst. I trusted you. I took everything you said to me at face value despite being your second best for weeks. So to hear that –“ Jake trailed off. “How could I not question what was real? How could I not wonder if you see me as a placeholder until you can date someone who’s actually your type back on the outside?" Jake ran his hand along the side of his head. "I saw him whispering to you before he left, I saw the way you were hugging each other.”

Dax walked to the cupboard and pulled out another rocks glass. Grabbing the whiskey, she refilled Jake’s and then poured some for herself. She slid out of her shoes and took a sip from her whiskey. “Come with me.” She slipped her hand into his, and this time he let her, their fingers elegantly intertwined as she lead him toward the day bed.

“Sitting right here on this day bed was the first time you made me feel safe. I opened up about my past, about some of the deepest regrets and hurts I’ve ever felt, and you listened and validated my reality with understanding.” Dax took a sip from her glass and lead him down past the day beds to the edge of the pool. “Here, was the second time you made me feel safe. I was so broken after Levi chose Jen, I’d felt so used, but you made me feel seen. You made me feel worshipped and there wasn’t a single moment you made me feel judged.” She swung her foot over the side dipping her toes gently into the water before pointing up to the roof terrace. “Up there – three and four – you have no idea the effect of that dinner you made me. The care you took, the work you put in just so that I would know how deeply you appreciated the intimacy we shared. And then after Cherrygate, it was everything all over. You stopped my panic attack in its tracks, being in your arms was literally the only thing that made sense.”

Jake felt his breath slowly returning to his lungs and the muscles in his shoulders finally melting away from his neck. The warmth in her eyes was comforting, though he could still feel his heart racing at the knowledge she hadn’t yet directly answered his question. Dax drew the outside of her hand gently along his cheek before tossing back the last of her whiskey and interlacing her hand in his one last time. She guided him quietly up to the fire pit sitting down on the bench and pulling him down next to her.

“Here you announced, to everyone, that you wanted to be with me. Your words were more eloquent and more passionate than anything Levi had ever said to me. How specific you were about why you wanted to be with me made me feel so genuinely seen in a way I’d never felt with any man, ever.” She looked over her shoulder and gestured her head toward the hideaway window. “And in there, none of that could’ve felt as amazing as it did if I didn’t believe with every bit of me that you were the safest place in the world.” Dax scooted closer to him, so their legs were touching, and laid her hand over his heart. “I can’t promise you I never called Levi ‘soldier,’ the nicknames I was using were sort of random in the beginning, and I honestly don’t remember. But I **can** promise that with him, it didn’t stick. That affection quickly became reserved for only you. You only have to trust me for the next like, 48 hours, before we’ll have access to all the recordings, and you can see for yourself.” She paused. “On his way out, Levi grabbed me into that hug, and he told me to call him when you and I split up. I didn’t feel like making a scene, but I had every intention of telling you because you are my future. I love you, and I’m yours.” Jake rubbed his hand over his eyes.

“I’m sorry I overreacted, Levi just has a way of getting under my skin, and I was already so out of sorts about sending Talia home. I just - “

“I don’t blame you for having doubts Jake. I was absolutely floored when you said you didn’t have any to begin with. When I told you how I felt, I said that my love came with full acknowledgement of how much I hurt you those first weeks here. And that acknowledgement extends to now. You’re allowed to have doubts and ask questions, but we have to prioritize being open about that stuff with each other. Because I’ve spent the better part of the past few days trying not to think about how hard it’s going to be to face the media and the public when we’re on the outside. On top of which, there isn’t going to be video evidence of everything we do - we’re just going to have to trust.”

Dax pulled Jake into a tender kiss. Her lips grounded him, while her familiar scent restored gravity and filled his chest with smooth warmth. Jake felt Dax’s lips pull away from his, and as he opened his eyes, he could see Dax had slipped off the bench onto her knees in front of him. She grasped his hands in hers and looked up to him, the moonlight bouncing off her face. Jake couldn’t stop the confused grin from spreading across his face.

“This is going to be the meltiest thing I’ve ever done for a guy, but I know how sentimental you can be, so here I am” Dax broke into a beaming smile, her words coming out through bursts of giggles. “-on my knees, proposing we make us official. Be my boyfriend Jake, I don’t want to face the outside world without everyone knowing how committed I am to you, without you knowing how committed I am to you.” Jake let out rolling laughter as he stood and helped her to her feet.

“There’s nothing I’d love more.”


	42. Golden Goddess

The world came into focus as voices ebbed softer and louder in his ears. Jake could feel Dax’s smooth legs leaning against his as her hand rubbed small circles across his back.

“I have to be honest lads, I can’t wait to have a full day where there’s no-one around apart from Erikah and me,” Reese laughed. “But like, the day after that, I’ll miss the shit out of you all.” The group giggled and burst into a chorus of agreement. Jake rolled his shoulders, stretching his arms out and turning toward Dax. He draped his arm around her waist and kissed the tip of her shoulder.

“Morning soldier.” Dax looked down at him. “We’re in the Love Island Final today.” A smile spread across her face as her dimples pinched into bright excitement.

“Wild.”

“Right?” Dax giggled as Tim launched himself down the centre walkway and crashed onto the bed in between them.

“LOVE ISLAND FINAL BABY!” Tim wriggled up between Jake and Dax to koala-bear himself around Jake. “Aw Sweetcheeks, I’m gonna miss you so much.” Jake put an arm around Tim’s shoulders playfully patting him on the back.

“I sort of pictured having a lie-in and a cuddle with Dax, not you Timye.” Jake laughed, “but I’ll miss you too mate.”

“Wait a minute.” Erikah’s voice rang out from across the room, “Do we have to keep calling you Timye outside of the Villa? I was sort of hoping these nicknames wouldn’t stick.” Tim sat straight up.

“Hey! That’s my rap name. It’s got to stick. Besides - ” He jumped up off the bed and grabbed a pillow from next Jen. “I figure Reese will want you to keep up calling him King Reese,” Tim chucked the pillow at Reese, “or rather - screaming it.”

“TIM!” Jen called as he Reese burst out in laughter and Erikah covered her eyes in embarrassment. Jake sat up and slid closer to Dax, draping his arm around her shoulders. He tightened his hold around her, pulling her close to him and pressing his palm into her collarbone.

“You know,” he nibbled lightly on the top of her ear. “You can call me Sweetcheeks anytime you like.” Dax bit her bottom lip and giggled quietly as the rest of the islanders continued talking loudly across the room at each other.

“I prefer my other nickname for you.” Dax tilted her head forward tenderly kissing his wrist.

“I do like ‘soldier.’” Jake added as a mischievous gleam flickered across Dax’s eyes.

“I meant ‘sir.’” Jake felt a blush rush to his cheeks as Dax slid her hand up his leg under the duvet.

_Why the fuck didn’t we sneak off last night…_

“Oh wait, guys, I’ve got a text!” Jen was holding her phone up in the air as she bounced up to stand on her bed.

> **Islanders, it’s time to prepare for tonight’s big event. This evening you will give a speech to your partner summing up your time together as a couple on Love Island. Girls please had to the dressing room, and boys to the day beds, supplies and snacks are waiting! #WayWithWords #WordsOfLove**

“Wait, what?” Lucy sat straight up in bed. “We have to give speeches?” Rohan flipped the corner of the duvet open and stood up from the bed.

“Aw babe, you’ll be fine. Just think of all the things you know you like about me.” As the islanders all leapt from their beds and headed out of the room, Jake could hear Tim bantering away.

“I can just hear Erkiah’s speech now – ‘Reese I love how you’re so cocky, and I can’t wait to hear you tell me about wrestling moves for the rest of our lives - ” his voice trailed off as the islanders split into their assigned groups. Dax let out a sad whine as she leaned her head into Jake’s chest.

“It’s just so hard to think about getting out of bed, especially one with you in it.” Dax smiled up at him, a dreamy grin sliding across her face.

“So don’t get up.” Jake slipped his arm further around her sliding himself underneath her and burying his hands in the base of her hair. He began laying gentle kisses down the line of her jaw and onto her neck. “Seems a shame to waste a moment alone in the bedroom, while everyone else is busy.” Dax arched her back, pressing her the base of her neck harder against his lips. A sound crossed between a moan and giggle escaped her mouth. Dax ground her hips into his and Jake’s body began to respond.

“Mmmmmm true,” Dax moaned into his ear. “And I guess if we’re going to be writing speeches about why we love each other, we should probably remind each other what some of the reasons are.” Dax slipped her hand between them and underneath her hips so that she was grasping his growing erection in her hand. She began to stroke him above his sweat as she nibbled at his ear lobe. “Plus, I can tell how badly you want my lips around your cock.”

_Fuck me. Fuck me._

Jake’s anticipation rose up through his throat, stealing his ability to speak. He wasn’t used to yielding power in situations like these. Still, as she slithered her way out of her camisole and her full breasts began to rub against his chest, no part of him could bring himself to stop her. Dax worked her way under the duvet and down his body. She kissed along the centre of his chest and then directly across his abs. Jake’s breath caught in his throat as he felt her mouth run across the waistband of his pants as she bit onto his sweats and tugged at them while she growled.

_Oh god…_

She hooked her hands around the edges of his pants, pulling them the rest of the way down. Her tongue started tracing long, slow lines from the bottom of his shaft all the way to the top. Each time she arrived at his head, she wrapped her lips around him and swirled her tongue against him, french kissing his body. Jake reached down, wrapping his fingers in her hair, trying with everything in him to steady the pace of his arousal.

_The lips of a fucking goddess are wrapped around me, fuck._

Just as he regained control of his body and breath, Dax slammed her lips around him all the way to his base. She’d never taken him entirely in her mouth this way before, she’d always commented that his size would be too much. Now he realized, she’d been saving her secret talent for a special occasion. It was as if the air in his lungs exploded from his body and his eyes ceased to function. The entire room was blurry, as shockwaves of pleasure rolled up his spine and down every limb as she pushed him deep into her throat over and over again. Every time she pushed herself down around him, she swallowed hard.

_Oh god, oh god, that feels, FUCK, I’m not going to last, fuck, fuck, fuck._

Every instinct he had was encouraging him to grasp the back of her head and press himself into her, to take charge. But as his vision changed from simply blurry to a near blackout, his last sentient choice was to submit to her. Before this moment he’d never trusted someone so much, he’d never been aroused at the thought of powerlessness, at the idea of subjection, but as her nails dug into his chest and pressed him down into the bed, he couldn’t take it a moment longer. The pins and needles started in his toes and rose rapidly up his legs, up his chest, and behind his eyes, until his entire body was stinging like the static of a vintage TV. He exploded into her, grunting loudly, no longer able to stay quiet as pleasure shuddered through him as chaotically as his erratic breath. His body fell limp as she gripped him tightly with her hand, swallowed, and swirled her tongue around him one last time.

Dax slid her body along his, letting her weight press him down into the bed as she curled up on top of him. Jake raised a weak arm around her to hold her close to him but couldn’t manage the strength to hold her very tightly. She purred, licking her lips and resting her head on his chest.

“You’re delicious, soldier.”

____________________________________________

“Took you a minute Jakey-Boy,” Tim smirked from his spot on the day bed as he extended a notebook out toward Jake. Jake raised his leather notebook.

“I brought mine – got caught up looking for it.” Jake couldn’t minimize the massive grin on his face as he walked toward the guys.

“Suuuuuure,” Rohan smiled knowingly, “it took you twenty minutes to find the notebook you keep in your bedside table.” The boys laughed as Tim flopped back down onto the day bed.

“Oh Sweetcheeks,” Tim pat his hand on the open space next to him on the day bed. “We’ve all seen Dax. Honestly, I just don’t understand how you last twenty whole minutes. You’re a titan.” Jake playfully hit Tim on the shoulder as he sat down.

“Shut up you lot, I’ve told you time and time again, I’m not gonna tell you lot private stuff about Dax and me.” Reese tossed a pillow from the next day bed over.

“So the truth comes out – you weren’t searching for your notebook.” Reese pressed quotes into the air with his fingers as he spoke. Jake rolled his eyes and opened his book. 

“Where are you lads at with your speeches?”

“I’m going all-in for the sweet stuff with Erikah.” Reese chewing on the top of his pen and staring harshly down at his notebook. “Like, I know she thinks I’m full of it all the time so I kind of want to surprise her, you know? Make it real slick, right?”

“That’ll be good Reese,” Rohan smiled earnestly, “I’m just trying to balance like telling Lucy how I feel without laying it on too thick, right, cause it’s still early days.”

“I’ve got the opposite problem lads – Jen is so –, and we’re so.” Tim buried his head into his hands “I just don’t know how to put it right, Jen is so put together, I don’t want to disappoint.” Rohan reached up, grabbed Tim’s calf and started shaking it back and forth.

“Awwwww Timye is in loveeeeeee” Rohan smiled, and Reese chuckled quietly as they boys continued joking back and forth while comparing notes they’d written about their respective girls. As Jake flipped through his notebook, he remembered the first time he tried to write in the Villa and how hard it had been to write about Talia. Sitting in the warmth of the morning sun, he took a moment to appreciate that he never thought this was where he’d end his journey. Looking through all he’d written in the Villa, he realized every single word, every single poem he’d put to the paper, it had all been about her. Even the poem he’d claimed to have written for Talia was about Dax. Pining for Dax, the anger and desperation he felt as she pursued Levi, the fear he felt after confessing his love. He could track each step of their story along the lines he’d written for her. At that moment, he knew what he had to write; he knew exactly how to capture the end of their time on Love Island.

____________________________________________

Jake tugged on the lapel of his navy suit coat - it’d been more than a minute since he’d dressed so formally. On top of which, the amount of working out he’d done trying to distract himself from his early frustrations over Levi and Dax had made his jacket slightly tight around the arms. Jake let out a slow deep breath as he neatened the tuck of his shirt into his slacks. Jake licked his dry lips before pressing his palm along the side of his head, trying to get a persistent cowlick to lay flat.

_She knows you love her, she’s told you she loves you, there is literally nothing to be nervous about._

“Oi oi.” Reese’s voice echoed through the dressing room. “Text says its time boys.”

_1…2…3…_

Jake turned to make his way outside with the other guys. The garden had been transformed into a scene from a movie. Fragrant white flowers in huge bouquets lined the edges of the pool, and soft sparkling lights were strung up across the entire lawn. An arch had been built at the very centre of the lawn, and soft music was warbling speakers that had been hidden amongst all the decorations. Just above the sound of the music, Jake could hear the faint murmurs and laughter of a crowd.

_Wow, this is really the Love Island Final._

“We’re supposed to line up over here bruvs.” Tim was looking down at his phone. “It’s Reese, Ro, Jake and then me.” Jake walked over and took his place between Rohan and Tim. Jake blew out his cheeks with a deep breath he hoped would steady his nerves. Still, his heart continued to do backflips as the boys fell silent, each and every one, staring back at the stairs waiting for the girls to arrive. Erikah and Lucy walked out first, and as usual, looked lovely. Jake could help but smile as Reese and Rohan’s jaws dropped at their partners. Then, Dax stepped through the door. Jake felt as though someone had poured molten metal through his chest. The spreading burn of euphoria blazed through his chest as she walked toward him. Dax was the most stunning woman he’d ever seen. She wore a long gold corseted gown that fit her body along every curve. Gracefully draped fabric hung delicately on the outside of her arms while the sheer glittering skirt provided an enticing view of her long legs with each step forward. All he could do was gaze at her, silently musing over the profound sense everything he’d ever been through, good or bad, that brought him to this moment, had been worth it. Dax walked up to him and slipped her hands into his.

“God, Dax, you look stunning, you look just amazing. I’m so lucky.” Cupping his hands where her jaw met her neck, he pulled her into a deep kiss. The taste of her lips sent fireworks down his spine as he trailed the outside of a hand down her neck and across her exposed collarbone.

“You clean up pretty nice too handsome, this suit is absolutely lush.” She pulled gently on his lapels and then wrapped her arms around his waist, letting one hand drop to pinch his bum. “Pants fit nice too.” She winked at him as Jen raised her voice.

“I got a text!”

> **Islanders, it’s time to make your Declarations of Love. #FromTheHeart**

Erikah and Reese took their place under the arch followed by Rohan and Lucy. Jake assumed they all gave loving speeches filled with memories and promises of the future. But truth be told Jake didn’t hear a word of it. His ears were ringing too loudly as he hastily re-read the words he’d written down in his journal.

_Just read slowly mate, you’re not going to mess this up._

Everyone began clapping and cheering as Rohan grasped onto Lucy, dipping her into a passionate and over-the-top stage kiss.

_I should’ve practised in front of the mirror another time. Shit._

Jake felt Dax slip her hand into his as she looked at him over her shoulder.

“It’s us, soldier.” She smiled warmly guiding him to the arch at the front of the group. Dax took a deep breath and began to laugh sweetly. “Oh, it should be so odd to be standing here in front of everyone, knowing there’s this crowd outside, and knowing we’re on everyone’s telly back home. But I don’t know that anything feels more natural than wanting to tell you how much I love you. And how much I love who I am when I’m around you. I don’t mean that to sound, self-centred I swear. I mean it as this amazing compliment to you.” Dax leaned even closer toward him. “I’ve never felt a connection or a friendship this deep with anyone before, but you, you free me to be a person who can laugh and cry without restraint, you free me to be this person who feels and enjoys and loves deeply, all without fear. What a relief it is, how relaxing it is that I get to be exactly who I am. No anxiety, no performance, just me. Being and becoming who I really am. Things were so rarely easy for us, but through all the challenges, we found our way here. So I guess this speech is really a thank you, oddly enough, being yours has brought me a freedom I didn’t know I needed. An openness that feels like breathing fresh air for the first time. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that we’ll face those challenges together. And the knowing I get to leave here, and continue growing as a person in the space you create for me, to continue growing together with you. I’m just beside myself with excitement.” Dax pulled his face close to hers, planting a deep, tender kiss on his lips. “I love you so much, Jake Wilson.”

Jake tried sniffling discretely as a bright smile spread across his face. The other islanders cheered and yelled as Jake pulled Dax in for another kiss before stepping back. Jake clenched his book in his hands and cleared his throat. 

“Dax, I don’t think I’ve kept it much of a secret recently how I feel about you, and like I said at the recoupling, I honestly cannot wait to spend every day of the foreseeable future reminding you and everyone who will listen, how committed I am to making you happy. Thinking about our time here in the Villa, I remembered that our first real laugh, and the first real vulnerable moment we shared – I was reading you my poetry. Since then, I’ve written a lot about you actually, most of which I intend to keep privately between us. But. I figured, there wasn't a better way to end our time here than by reading you this - ” He exhaled sharply.

_1…2…3…_

“She holds her hair up with only  
twists and knots.  
Think Atlas. Think shoulders.  
If sadness starts to fester,  
she carries the light down from the  
mountain and hands it to you,  
tells you to set it on fire.  
Think Prometheus. Think savior.  
When she steps out of a shower  
you don’t think you’ve ever seen  
anything more beautiful than the way  
she walks towards you. A towel  
some water clinging to her  
like there is nowhere else they would rather be.  
Think Aphrodite. Think sea foam.  
I love you like mythology.  
I love you like the impossible stories  
of gods and monsters.  
When her sweet laugh sings, think fairies.  
Think mermaids. Think hymns.  
She is the face of the river  
that Narcissus fell in love with,  
confusing hers for his own.  
She is Medusa’s fury,  
Athena’s strength,  
Achelois’ healing.  
Kissing her in a crowded  
room and it feels like praying.  
Watching her  
instead of a meteor shower  
and you don’t even notice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poetry adapted from Mythology by Caitlyn Siehl


	43. Winner, Winner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek! There is only this and ONE MORE chapter left of the In-Villa portion of this story ~ I can't believe it's already here! Thank you all so much for reading, thank you all SO much for your support, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Chapters 45 and 46 will be BONUS chapters that span slightly post Villa at the Christmas Reunion, and things get MAD spicy! Re: Jake and Dax invite a ~friend~ into the bedroom after some unexpected reunion drama! Basically I had a fun idea that I didn't think needed its own fic.
> 
> I'm working on an outline for a potential sequel to this fic, so, subscribe to me as an author (not just to this fic) if you've enjoyed! Hopefully, my next work will start to release in the next month or so but I may put out some one-offs over the in-between.

“Jake, ohmigod Jake,” Dax’s usually sweet laughter was expansive and vivacious, washing over him and lending with the ringing in his ears as everything else moved in slow motion. The only thing in focus was Dax’s smile and her glittering eyes. Loud music blared as Dax pulled him into a hug. “Jake, c’mon we have to go out front.”

_What, wait, no fucking way?_

Tim jumped up, throwing himself against Jake and wrapping his arms around Jake in a laddish hug. “Mate! You won!” Dax giggled loudly as Jen put an arm around her shoulders. Jake’s feet felt glued to the wooden deck surrounding the firepit. He’d felt such strong nerves only a moment ago, his stomach clenching as each text came. Ro and Lucy in 4th. Erikah and Reese in 3rd. But he’d fully anticipated that Tim and Jen would take the title. And then...“Well done you two, you totally deserve it!” Tim clapped Jake on the shoulder as he took Jen’s hand.

“We’ll see you two lovebirds outside, yeah?” Jen squeezed Dax’s hand tenderly as she and Tim headed off into the Villa.

_Oh my god._

“Jake,” Dax laughed again pulling at his hand as she started moving toward the kitchen, “I know this is so crazy, but we have to go outside.” Jake’s heart continued to race, no longer driven by fear, now beating with exhilaration.

“Wait, we won,” Jake sputtered.

“Yes, we won!” Dax nodded eagerly smiling from ear to ear.

“Ok, slow down,” Jake finally freed his feet from the ground and pulled Dax’s close to him. Jake kissed her deeply cupping the sides of her face and breathing in her intoxicating scent. He rested his forehead against hers. “We’re the winners of Love Island, and we’re the last people in the Villa. Surely there are ten extra seconds for us to just, be in this moment.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Dax let out a warm heavy sigh. “I’m so not prepared for this, I'd've bet my life savings on Jen and Tim.”

“I honestly didn’t think I’d make it this far. I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I’m here with you. God, I’m the luckiest fucking bloke in the world right now.” Jake kissed the tip of her nose as a slight hum slipped through her lips.

“Quit being so fucking sweet, I already want to jump your bones, and there’s a lot between us the hotel room tonight.” Dax laughed as her phone buzzed.

“You ready?” Her eyes sparkled up at him.

“Let’s fucking do it.” Jake took Dax’s hand as they made their way through the kitchen and up the stairs to the main foyer. The sound of the crowd got louder and louder with each step they took.

_Holy shit how many people are out there, jeez._

Jake could feel his pulse beating into his temples, and behind his ears, as he surmised the size of the crowd that must’ve been outside. As they walked through the door, the joyful crowd erupted into cheers. Fists waved, and hands clapped in an atmosphere of delight. The warm summer air was peppered with whoops and hollers. The only thing holding Jake to the ground was Dax as she lead him calmly down the path, and onto the raised platform in the centre of the crowd. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the glittering of the camera flashes that spattered the crowd like stars on a dark night. Before he was fully comfortable, the warm booming Scottish voice of everyone’s favourite narrator rang out over the loudspeakers, and a huge projection screen lit up with their names.

**Ladies and gentleman, your winners of Love Island, Dax and Jake!**

The crowd burst into another round of applause. Dax turned to face Jake, disbelief and delight jumbled over her brows and wrinkled nose. Jake could see most of the other islanders sitting in a group together just at the bottom of the stage. Jake noticed as Dax’s locked eyes with Talia who winked and clapped enthusiastically.

“We love you, guys!!!” Jen shouted, jumping up from her chair and waving her hands in the air as the voice returned.

**Dax and Jake, it's more than safe to say that our viewing audience has absolutely loved watching your journey here on Love Island. While there’s more drama to come, please take a seat, and enjoy a trip down memory lane with us. Here is your Love Island Journey.**

_Oh god, what are they going to show?_

Jake finally took a moment to inventory his surroundings. The stood in the middle of a circular stage connected to a short catwalk that jutted out into the crowd. The bright beams of the stage lights spun and danced over the crowd, illuminating sizeable white flower arrangements that lined both walkways, similar to those inside. Over his shoulder, Jake could see a comfortable looking red velvet bench angled to face the screen. Jake nodded his head towards the bench and walked over with Dax. He put his arm around her waist as they sat and watched as the screen faded into the beginning of the video. Dax leaned over to whisper in Jake’s ear as the lights began to dim.

“Yikes,” she pressed her shoulder into him. “I wonder how we’re going to look; also, I’m really really sorry for all of this. I know I’ve said it before, but it took me way too long to find my way to you.” Jake took a deep breath.

“This is all in the past Dax. We’re going to be ok.” Jake squeezed her close to him and placed a soft kiss on her temple. On the screen, a video began to play of the moment the boys entered the villa to introduce themselves and a new voice narrated the whole scene. Jake felt his stomach turn as the camera panned to him, closing in on his face as he bounded across the lawn for the first time.

_Bloody, fuck. I don’t know if I can watch this level of cringe._

> **On the first day, things were bright and full of promise,**

“You looked so handsome solider, honest. I remember thinking you looked like a fucking film star.” Jake felt a blush rush to his cheeks as the film switched into the beach hut with Jake sitting in the large papasan chair, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. His own voice rang out over the speakers.

_Fucking hell, I really would’ve preferred to see this all, at home, with Dax, privately._

> “I mean they’re all really stunning. I’ve got serious imposter syndrome right now. Like, there’s no way anyone as fit as any of those women want to be with me.” On-screen, a mischievous gleam crossed his eyes. “Dax is well fit though; red was always my favourite colour.”** Back on stage Dax kissed his cheek.

“Oooooo, you fancied me solider.” Jake chuckled to himself.

“Obviously.”

> **But the first night didn’t exactly go as planned. Jake was top dog, getting chosen by soon-to-be bestie Talia, while Dax was left the last choice between Jasper and Miles.**

“Gosh, that was the worst night. Miles and I were such a terrible match. It’s so crazy to think about it now.” Dax laughed, “it feels like absolutely ages ago!” Jake leaned over and gave her ear a subtle nibble.

“Sure, but those thigh-high leather boots, made up for it for the rest of us. I had to start thinking about cold showers and my nan when you walked out in them.” Dax dropped her jaw in exaggerated shock.

“Naughty,” she winked as highlights her fight with Miles played out on screen.

> **As Dax searched for better banter, Jake got poetical-**

He couldn’t help but smile at the video of Dax’s sweet, wonderful laughter and the moment they shared over Talia’s poem. It was rather funny watching the scene back. Jake remembered how he felt in the moment, he knew she made him feel comfortable, but he’d also been, so hell-bent on making it work with Talia. Watching himself now, seeing the way he looked at her, even early days, it was clear it had only ever been Dax. She leaned into him, giggling quietly.

“That leaves poem was so ridiculous, Jake. I honestly still have no idea what you were thinking.”

“Oh c’mon, it’s not representative of my work!” Dax looked up at him and smiled.

“I know my love; trust me. Your words make me feel a way I find difficult to explain,” she let a small growl out under her breath. “Whenever I hear them, it feels a lot like foreplay.” She winked. “Besides, I have to give the poem credit for starting our friendship with laughter. I don’t know where we’d be if you hadn’t trusted me with it.”

> **Ultimately, Jake and Talia decided to keep their relationship in the friend zone –**

Jake saw himself, Tim, and Mason joking around in the kitchen as on-screen he commented –

> “I think she binned me?”
> 
> “I’m sorry, you think?” asked Mason.
> 
> **\- and as Dax’s heart wandered, Jake wondered if he’d be stuck there with her too.**

The video faded into a shot of Dax and Jake laying facing each other on the daybeds later that night after she’d opened up about her past. Jake watched himself slide his body closer to hers and remembered the tension coursing through his body at being so close to her, but being interrupted for the first of many times by Levi.

> “Oh Jake mate, didn’t realize you were still out here.” On-screen Dax jerked away from Jake and sat up on the daybed.
> 
> “Levi,” she said, “I thought you’d gone to bed.”
> 
> “Nah, I just wanted to get Jen settled. So, you’re sleeping out here tonight?”
> 
> “Excuse me you two, I’ve got to get to washing up.”

The camera was pointed over Jake’s shoulder ashe stood to walk away. Obviously, he hadn’t looked back at Dax's face that night, but now he saw a brief look of sadness rush behind her eyes as she watched him walk away. Sitting on the bench, Dax leaned her head onto Jake’s shoulder.

“I really thought you were going to kiss me that night. I was super conflicted when Levi finally came out. Obviously, I’d been waiting to talk to him, but that was really the first moment I felt something between you and me.” Jake looked down at her.

“I should’ve fucking kissed you – I wanted to so badly.”

> **It wasn’t long before two new islanders joined the group to ruffle some feathers. But neither of you were wasting time with them. Jake already had his heart set on Dax, who had her eyes on someone else…**

Under the narration, the video showed Jake saying good night to Tim, as Cherry and Rohan mingled with the other islanders in the distance. Jake watched himself walked up into the bedroom and down into the bathroom. The camera moved to capture his face as he went from cheeky joking with Dax to realizing she had fooled around with Levi. Jake felt a knot form at the back of his throat watching the screen. All the images that had flooded his head in that moment overwhelmed his mind again now. Levi’s hands all over her. Levi’s mouth on hers. Levi inside her. He felt his breath getting faster and heavier until Dax placed a hand on his knee. The crowd began to boo loudly.

“I’m so sorry, Jake. I didn’t mean for anyone to find me up there.”

“I know,” Jake kissed the top of her head. “No need to revisit it or apologize, everything brought us here, right?”

> **Before anyone could get too comfortable, it was time to recouple. Even with a broken heart, Dax gave the JAX-stans a pleasant surprise.**
> 
> “There is nothing anyone has that you don’t. Dax, you’re the fittest and most interesting person I’ve met in a long time, if not in my life. Jake watched his early confession to Dax as embarrassment sent sweat down the back of his knees. “I don’t know what you’re looking for from Levi, and I don’t know what his plans are with you – but I will not let you sit here and say that you’re worthless. It’s not true, and I won’t let you believe it.”

_They’re not going to show us hooking up, they can’t, with this crowd, right?_

> “Prove it.”

Her voice echoed across the lawn as the screen faded to black.

_Oh, thank fuck._

Jake looked down at Dax, who was biting her bottom lip. She turned to face him and moved her hand slightly higher up on his thigh.

“I know they weren’t going to show any film of us like, fucking, but I’m literally so curious what they put in the episode.” She chuckled to herself.

“Do you think it’s weird I almost don’t want to know?” Jake laughed.

“Only as weird as the fact I kind of want to ask the producers for like – uncensored footage for us to keep?”

Jake’s mind filled with x-rated memories at the idea of watching the footage of their nights together.

“I’m completely on board with that idea,” he whispered, a wicked smile growing across his face.

> **Chef Jake, always the gentleman, tried to close the deal with Dax. But with Jen on a date with Tim, it was the moment we’d all been waiting for - who would Dax choose.**

On-screen Dax lifted a fork to her mouth and took a huge bite of paella.

> “I want to run away with this paella. I would do it I swear, it’s so good I could marry it and die happy.” Dax let out a sweet curl of laughter, her dimples contracting, and soon the pair were laughing together.
> 
> “Was your mom a chef, or just a fan of rice?” Jake reached behind him to grab the champagne and handed a flute to Dax.
> 
> “She was Spanish. Actually, both of my parents were from not too far from here.”**
> 
> **I would’ve personally stayed where there was food, but Dax had other plans in mind.**

The speakers amplified the on-screen knock at the door to the roof terrace as Levi reached up and grasped the top edge of the door frame.

> “Sorry to interrupt bruv,” Leaning out he continued “I just needed Dax for a chat.”**

Dax let out a groan she reached out to playfully cover Jake’s eyes with her hand. He laughed.

“Dax,” he gently pulled her hand from his face. “Yes, they’re showing quite a bit of you cracking on with Levi. But we were always going to watch the show back, right?”

“I know but, right now, I want to be complete melts enjoying the fact we’re in love, and we’ve won Love Island. Watching videos of me graft on other guys wasn’t exactly in my plan.”

“True.” Jake smiled. “But soon they’re going to get to the part where we get together, and it’s going to be amazing.”

> **But even after a surprisingly sexy trip to the market –**

The video flashed a short image of their steamy kiss up against the store freezers.

> **\- at that night’s recoupling, Levi chose Dax.**

On-screen Jake was back in the beach hut, his head in his hands.

> “I just don’t know what to fucking do. I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s not about her, physically. I swear. I love her laugh and her smile, and like today, how being at the store felt so goddamn natural. But I also can’t stop picturing that black lingerie set, and how she put it on, special, for fucking Levi.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse than seeing the look on your eyes that night when you saw me in that lingerie.” Dax shook her head. “I thought I knew how you felt, but that confirmed it, I felt like I’d really hurt you.” Dax’s eyebrows turned downward, and he wasn’t sure what to say. Watching this all back was a lot harder than he’d realized, and it was just a highlight reel. He knew they were in a good place now, but it was painful in a way he hadn’t expected to be reminded so vividly of how close they’d been to ending up with other people.

> **Then disaster struck, and a rivalry began.**

The crowd boo'd even more violently as video showed Dax walking silently out onto the roof terrace, her jaw-dropping in shock as Levi and Cherry wrapped their arms around each other and began kissing intensely. It cut to Jake who reached out and grabbed Levi on the arm.

> “Mate, really? After everything? I’m fucking disappointed.” Levi turned to Jake, his eyes wild.
> 
> “Get your hand off me, Wilson.” Jake dropped his hold on Levi, who turned to guide Cherry back into the bedroom.
> 
> **But luckily “Sweetcheeks” came to the rescue.**

Jake felt his entire face flush bright red as an image of him on top of Dax on the roof terrace flashed across the screen. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and her hand could be seen digging into the back of his shoulder, but his broad back and shoulders hid the rest of her body from view. Just like Reese had mentioned, a large black box had been noticeably added to cover his bum. Dax let out an animated gasp.

_Oh, fucking hell..._

“Oh, soldier.” Dax giggled “The internet must've gone mad. I’m so happy we’re going out into this all together.”

> **After Levi went on a date with another woman, people were dunked, and all the islanders got a taste of coq… au Vin, the producers realized that there wasn’t quite enough going on. What the Islanders really needed was a Brummie newsagent and a challenge that gave them an excuse to feel each other up.**

The screen flashed to Dax sitting in the large beach hut chair, holding her knees to her chest. She bit her lip and shook her head clearly slightly embarrassed but slightly aroused.

> “I swear he’s cut from stone. I know we’ve done big fucking bits – so I shouldn’t be surprised at what Jake’s body feels like but like – soft and chiselled and exciting and familiar all at once. He was the only one I found blindfolded where I actually knew who it was.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “To be fair, finding Reese first really threw me for a fucking loop.”

Jake kissed the top of her head and put on his most conceited silly voice.

“Just, FYI, my stone cut abs are always available for your pleasure.” Dax giggled.

> **Later that night as Cherry spoke some hard truths…**
> 
> “I’m just sort of trying to figure out who Dax doesn’t have on a string so that maybe I could have a chance with someone I like, someone like you.”
> 
> **And Levi showed his true colours…**
> 
> “So you’re coupling up with Cherry then?” Levi’s voice was whispered, gruff, and patronizing. He chuckled and reached out to squeeze Jake’s shoulder firmly. “Fooling around with Dax wasn’t enough of my slops for you?”
> 
> **Dax dashed all our hopes away, by being a lovely person, finding forgiveness in her heart, and recoupling with Levi.**

Dax’s grip on his hand grew tight as he could see her jaw subtly clench.

“I swear, I almost hit him.”

“Honestly, I think watching more of this back I’m going to want to also.” Dax furrowed her brow. “Why didn’t you tell me he said that?” The video carried on loudly as Jake turned his body to her, for the first time really ignoring the cameras and the crowd.

“I should have. I didn’t know how. I didn’t want you to think for a second I was trying to manipulate you – I wanted you to get your chance to decide for yourself if you wanted to be with Levi.”

> **Jake didn’t take the news too well either –**

Images flashed across the screen of Jake busting open his hand at the gym, yelling at Rohan, and glaring at Levi across Tim and Jen’s spaghetti lunch.

“Wow, soldier, I was really fucking curious what’d happened to your hand.” Dax rubbed her thumb along the back of his knuckles, where a small patch of skin was still healing.

> **But after some much-needed advice from and a bit of a push too far, Jake finally spoke his mind –**
> 
> “What exactly did you say?” Talia leaned forward to rest her elbows on the kitchen counter.
> 
> “Fuck, if I knew what I said I’d be happy to tell you, it sort of just came out.”

The video cut to a hazy shot of the closed shower from the corner of the bathroom. Jake and Dax weren’t visible behind the fogged shower door, but his voice could be heard above the splattering of the water against the tile.

_At least her pride won’t be too hurt since no one could see us, or how our conversation really started._

> “- no matter what I’m doing, no matter who I’m talking to, I’m thinking about you. I replay every moment I’ve touched you over and over in my head because I’ve never had a craving stronger than my desire to hold you.”

Back in the beach hut, Dax’s chest had collapsed forward onto her knees. She was holding her head in her hands and audibly crying.

> “How? How can it be possible that loving someone causes so much hurt? What do I do? I can’t give him what he wants – he deserves someone that’s so much more. But he said it himself. We can’t just be friends.”

Jake felt a pressure grow behind his rib cage.

_I had no idea how hard it was for her to talk to me._

“I’m so sorry for putting that all on you at once – it was never how I planned to tell you.” Jake squeezed Dax’s hand. 

“You standing up for what you wanted between us is one of only two reasons we’re here right now.” She looked directly into his eyes. “Do not apologize.”

> **Jake’s confession and Dax’s confusion threw a real spanner in the works just ahead of the Lie Detector Challenge.**
> 
> “Ok question number two.” Tim looked down at the clipboard and chuckled. “He wrote, since it was already revealed that you’ve hooked up with multiple people here, Levi wants to know, was he the best you’ve had in the villa?” Dax wrinkled her nose and recoiled her neck.
> 
> “I guess there isn’t really a point to lying in here is there.” Dax tossed her hair over her shoulder and then crossed her arms. “No,” she paused “he wasn’t.”

Watching her boldly confess her enjoyment of his sexual talent, Jake felt as much pride now as he had the first time he heard it. The video cut to Erikah pushing the fake pair glasses back up her nose.

> “If you could couple up with anyone in the Villa who would it be?” Jake cleared his throat and dropped his hand onto his leg.
> 
> “Dax.” The screen turned red.

“So obviously, you were nervous, and those were all truths.” Dax smiled up at him.

“Obviously Dax. It was awful – I couldn’t fucking breathe. I thought the game was completely over for me. I’d just totally bottled it, completely ruining my chance with you.”

“I knew better than to believe a glorified heart rate monitor - I was just looking for a reason not to take a chance, I was so afraid.”

> **All hope seemed lost, and the public was preparing themselves to say goodbye to Jake SweetCheeks Wilson –**
> 
> “When do you think you’ll go?” Jake sat with his arm around Talia as the two sipped coffee staring out over the villa lawn.
> 
> “I’m not sure, but I can’t take another night of it. Hearing them two beds over. It just - it just absolutely guts me.”
> 
> **\- until Talia intervened.**

On-screen Talia was storming towards the sun loungers where Dax was lying out alone.

> “Get up.” Talia stood at the end of Dax’s chair. “Get. Up.” Dax sat up clearly surprised by Talia’s tone.
> 
> “What’s gotten into you love?”
> 
> “The entire room could hear you shagging Levi last night. Including Jake. Who is now planning on leaving the villa.” Dax’s eye widened in shock.
> 
> “Wait, what?”

The screen switched to a view of the roof terrace, where Dax was standing opposite.

> **So just days after she’d saved Levi and hours after they’d shared a bed -**
> 
> “I should’ve been honest with you yesterday morning, I should’ve been in bed with you last night, and I want to be with you every night from now on. Stay. Give me the chance to prove how much I care about you, to prove how sorry I am for wasting so much time. And really, in here will just be the beginning. The best could be yet to come.”

The crowd roared with delight as the screen faded into a shot of Jake pulling Dax into a deep kiss a few hours later, as he returned her journal.

> **Our favourite couple sealed the deal by coupling up and sharing a ~steamy~ night in the hideaway.**

Jake released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding as the film simply showed an exterior shot of the hideaway window as the lights inside went out. Members of the audience began to whistle and catcall at the stage.

_Fucking hell, I need to know what they showed on the telly. My parents are likely so pissed. Arthur was delighted, I’m sure._

> **After a beautiful final date together, Jax had a challenge left at home...**
> 
> “You’re going to lose her, you know.”

The screen was black, but Jake remembered Levi’s biting last attempt at getting under his skin. The video transitioned to a close-up of Levi’s face through the flames of the firepit.

_Wow, Levi is a dick, but they’re really going in on him, I bet his edit was absolutely shit._

> “Man, to man. I don’t know what kind of fucking fantasy you’ve worked out in your head about her loving you, but she doesn’t love you. She’s taking a vacation from her usual type, there’s a fucking difference. She loves the drama of suffering, but you’ve been with her, you know. She begs to be fucked and used.” Jake stepped toward Levi, his fists tightly balled.
> 
> “Fuck you. Say what you want about me, but if I **ever** hear another bad word about Dax come from your mouth -” Levi interrupted him.
> 
> “What you’re gonna hit me, Jake? I meant to ask. She calls you soldier too, right? It always felt a sort of odd little pet name for me, but I can see you really getting off on that shit.”

Jake heard Dax draw a quiet but sharp breath inward as her hand tightened around his.

“Jake I’m so sorry, I had no idea he was so aggressive with you. I would’ve said something.” The screen was now showing images of their final date and dances together as bits of Dax’s sweet declaration of love played over the speakers.

“You said the perfect things.” A shudder swept down his spine as the lights came roaring back to their original brightness and the booming voice of the live announcer returned.

**And now, as an official couple, your love faces one final challenge. Jake and Dax, the public voted for you as their favourite couple. You are the winners of this season of Love Island! Now, you have the chance to win a £50,000 prize! You’ve spent the whole summer together, your friendship and relationship were tested over and over again, and so today is no different.**

A hush fell over the crowd.

**In front of you are two envelopes, one of which contains the £50,000 prize. The other contains nothing.**

Jake’s felt a tingling begin in his toes as producers ushered him and Dax apart, to opposite sides of the podium with the envelopes.

“After you gorgeous.” Dax smiled and rolled her eyes before whispering back to him.

“I’m so ready to be done with false drama.” She winked and reached down, grabbing the envelope closest to her. Jake reached down and grabbed the second envelope and opened it.

_Ha. Of course._

Jake unfolded the card and held it up to the crowd so they could all see the large “£0” printed inside his envelope. Dax started to laugh as she looked at him and twisted her long fingers under the lip of her own envelope. She unfolded it to expose glittering pink letters that read “£50,000.”

**Dax, you now must choose; share the money with Jake or keep all of it for yourself. If you decide to keep it, you will go home with the full £50,000 prize, and Jake will go home with nothing. If you share it, you will both go home with £25,000. So, has this summer been about love or money?**

He knew he should be nervous; he knew that at that moment, everything theoretically could be taken away from him. And still, staring across the stage at the dimples on the cheeks of the woman he loved, there wasn’t a worried bone in his body. Dax playfully tapped her chin.

“What to do? What to do?” She winked cheekily at Jake before clearing her throat. “Obviously I’m going to split it. I love him.”

Jake felt elated laughter bubble up from deep within his chest.

“I love you too, Dax.” He smiled, pulling her into a kiss. “I never doubted you.” The crows burst into massive applause and cheers, with all the other islanders in the front row shouting the loudest. Talia, Rohan, Tim and Jen rushed the stage as producers started to separate the crowd from the guests invited to the after-party.

“You guys!” Jen squealed as she pulled Jake and Dax into a double-hug, her arms winding tightly around their necks. “I’m literally so happy for you, I could not have picked a better way for this all to end.”

“She’s right.” Rohan smiled, clasping Jake on the shoulder. “If this thing really is all about finding love, and like something that’s gonna last – it’s definitely you two.”

“Alright alright -” Talia strolled closer to them, exuding her usual chilled energy. “I think these two deserve some proper off-camera drinks.” Talia linked her arm in Dax’s smiling. “Gin ‘o'clock gorgeous?” Dax sighed heavily.

“Ugh, absolutely, fuck, I want 10.”

Jake felt a grin creep across his face as he watched the two women gracefully walk towards the Villa arm in arm. The crowd and the noise seemed to fade away as he watched the sway of her hips back and forth. As the muscles in her back flexed and shone in the light, he could imagine himself behind her and he felt himself begin to grow excited.

_You just have to make it a few more hours mate. Just a few hours, and you'll finally, really be alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek! There is only this and ONE MORE chapter left of the In-Villa portion of this story ~ I can't believe it's already here! Thank you all so much for reading, thank you all SO much for your support, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Chapters 45 and 46 will be BONUS chapters that span slightly post Villa at the Christmas Reunion, and things get MAD spicy! Re: Jake and Dax invite a ~friend~ into the bedroom after some unexpected reunion drama! Basically I had a fun idea that I didn't think needed its own fic.
> 
> I'm working on an outline for a potential sequel to this fic, so, subscribe to me as an author (not just to this fic) if you've enjoyed! Hopefully, my next work will start to release in the next month or so but I may put out some one-offs over the in-between.


	44. To the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I cannot believe this story has come to its end. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who's made it with me to this point. Writing this couple, and this character has been the most fun I've had writing in SO long, and knowing that I get to share the story with all of you has been amazing!
> 
> REMINDER - Chapters 45 and 46 of this fic are an epilogue/BONUS chapters that take place post villa, BUT if you're in the mood for more Jake and Dax GET PUMPED!! There's going to be a sequel!!
> 
> Stay tuned for my next work "Reasons to Forgive" which will begin posting in Mid-Late August!

With nearly all the islanders back, as well as the entire production crew, **and** everyone’s invited guests; the villa that had been his home for the last seven weeks, felt markedly foreign. Music blasted loudly through the speakers but even at what seemed like full volume, the sound of chatter and laughter couldn’t be surpassed. Jake leaned against the canopy post of the day bed as he took a gentle sip of his whiskey and basked in a brief moment of solitude. For nearly two hours he’d been pulled at, interviewed, and photographed - initially with Dax but eventually alone - barely getting any moments to himself or with any of his returned friends. He could see Dax across the deck, sitting at the firepit between Jen and a very long-legged blonde woman who was scribbling furious notes onto a napkin, and whom Jake assumed was a reporter.

“I guess I spoke too soon.” Talia’s comforting voice came from behind him as she and Rohan made their way from the kitchen.

“You absolutely did.” Jake chuckled raising a single brow sceptically. “We’ll have to get all the way back to London if we want to get drinks without cameras.”

“I think you may have to lay lower than that for a bit.” Rohan draped his arm over Jake’s shoulder. “I overheard one of the paps say they had to draw numbers before the show to see who’d get to sit with Dax.” Rohan clapped him playfully on the back. “What number did you draw mate? Think you’ll get a turn with her?” Jake laughed playfully, shoving Rohan in the chest before taking another sip of his drink, the warmth of the whiskey spreading along the inside of his chest.

“Shove off” Jake smiled through a laugh. Talia chuckled and dropped down onto the day bed sliding over to the opposite side. Her warm eyes turned back up to the boys as she patted the open space next to her. Jake skootched towards her as Rohan plunked down on his other side.

“I owe you a lot of gratitude Tals.” Jake lifted his arm and placed it around her shoulder. “Dax mentioned you’d told her I was leaving, but, from the clip they showed earlier it seems like you did more than casually pass the information along.” She rested her head onto his shoulder.

“Ehhhh, it was nothing.” Talia smiled coyly and then rolled her eyes. Rohan nearly spit out some of his drink coughing in a fit of laughter.

“Mate, honestly, make it the first thing you watch when they send you the footage.” Rohan coughed another time into his fist. “She lost her head. Made a huge fuss at Dax. It was amazing, honestly the loudest I've ever seen her get.” Jake’s eyes grew wide with gleeful shock.

“Talia!” He looked down at her.

“Oh. Kay.” She sat up. “He’s exaggerating. Mostly. But fuck - you two are together now, right?” She laughed. “So. You’re fucking welcome.” The trio slid into comfortable laughter leaning against each other and gazing across the chaotic party. As he scanned the crowd he could see Dax moving her hands animatedly as she answered what was likely that reporters millionth question. She pressed her palm against the boning in the corset of her dress, took a deep breath, and turned a plastered smile toward the reporter.

_Jeez, she’s exhausted._

The reporter shook Dax’s hand and Jen lead the woman away. Dax surveyed the crowd, scanning her vision first across the dance floor, then across the pool and finally up to the day beds. Rohan was teasing Talia, berating her for not yelling at someone to love him, but their words echoed away and blended into the music as Jake locked eyes with Dax. She moved her hand to her heart and her eyes softened as she leaned onto the backrest of the bench. A small tired grin spread across her lips and she winked. Jen returned, skipping tipsily toward Dax, with two champagne flutes in her hands.

“BRUV!” Mason’s jolly voice filled the space as his huge steps bounded towards the day beds.

_Guess the moment is over._

Jake slid off the side of the day bed after Talia and Mason pulled him into a giant bear hug.

“Oh bruvvv.” He crooned again. “I can’t tell you how fuckin’ chuffed I am for you two, like, you deserve it. I can’t believe you didn’t fuckin’ say anything to us!” He laughed and shook his head slightly, sloshing a bit of his drink over the edge of his glass. “It’s not exactly like Levi and I saw eye to eye - I would’ve helped you out!”

_Speaking of Levi…_

“Yea, I mean, I should’ve” Jake smiled, oddly charmed by the tipsy Mason. He scanned the crowd realizing for the first time Cherry and Levi were the only former islanders missing from the party.

“I mean it’s not like you weren’t getting it all along.” Mason dug his elbow into Jake’s side and pinched his cheek. “Sneaky ‘ole sweetcheeks.’”

“Might’ve gotten Allegra off your back a ton faster too if she'd known Dax was taken.” Rohan piped in. The group chuckled.

“Fucking hell.” Tim walked over clutching his chest and feigning weakness as he collapsed over the end of the day bed. “Mates. If one more person asks me when I knew Jen was the one, I’m going to blow.”

“Wow.” Talia rolled her eyes. “Seems like a pretty sweet question to be annoyed with.”

“No I mean I’m going to like… blloooooww.” Tim angled his hands on his hips to gesture towards crotch. “I just want to be alone with Jen. She didn’t want to do anything on camera, which I respect, but I’m dying.” Mason reached down laughing to ruffle Tim’s hair.

_Poor Timye._

Jake laughed to himself.

_I certainly can’t complain that Dax was open to more than cuddling._

“Ew.” Talia scoffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Good luck with these clowns,” She turned and strutted down towards the lawn as she threw a wink over her shoulder back at Jake. He tossed back the last of his drink.

“Anyone in for another round?” The guys made their way to the kitchen-island turned bar and ordered another round of drinks from the oddly formal mixologist who was stationed there. “Mase, fill us in yea. What do we need to know for the outside?” Mason reached out and grabbed the full pint being passed to him by the bartender.

“Ooooo bruvs. It’s a fucking firestorm.” He took a swig from his glass. “I was really bummed that I didn’t find someone in’ere, but I was pretty glad to be single when I got out. There’s birds everywhere, and like, every fuckin rag wants to interview you, or have you do a VIP thing up at some club.” He clasped Jake’s shoulder. “Not to mention the whole Team Jake-Team Levi thing made the socials go fucking mad”. Mason sipped his drink again. “Just take it day by day mates - and it’s gonna be a lot.” Jake sat on one of the barstools and threw back his second drink far faster than his first. He looked out across the lawn towards the edge of the dance floor where Dax was now being posed for pictures with Erikah, Lucy, and Jen. He felt his breath begin to get away from him.

_Fuck how many people wanted her to end up with Levi? What if stuff we haven’t seen yet changes her mind? Fuck._

“Hey hey hey.” Rohan took Jake’s glass from his hand and set it on the counter. “You and Dax are going to be fine ok.” Rohan sat across from him, as Tim rested a hand on Jake’s shoulder.

“He’s right you know.”

“It’s not going to be easy,” Rohan continued. “You guys had a hard way of finding each other and there are going to be people that were disappointed. That’s the nature of this whole crazy thing. The whole world thinks they get an opinion, but what matters is you and Dax.” Rohan turned to the bartender. “Another round of whiskey please.” The bartender set out 4 shot glasses and filled them in succession. Rohan passed one to each guy and then held his own up.

“This is to Dax and Jake. This is to Jen and Tim. This is to me and Lucy. This is to us, and whatever unlucky gal ends up with Mason.” They all laughed. “We are all stepping forward into a crazy and unpredictable world, but we’ve got each other yea?”

“HERE HERE!” Tim cheered crashing his glass into Rohan’s as Jake and Mason lifted their glasses and tossed back their shots.

“Please tell me there’s more where that came from.” Her voice was the only true comfort he’d felt in hours. Dax flopped down into Jake’s lap, looping her arms around his neck and resting her head against his as she ordered a gin tonic. Jen, Erikah, and Talia walked up behind her.

“Yes pleaseee!” Jen’s sweet voice rang out ordering champagne for the rest of the girls in her cutest singsong voice. “I can’t remember a time I’ve ever wanted to leave a party early but, honestly,” she held her glass close to her chest and leaned against Tim. "I’m exhausted.”

“Same,” Jake could feel Dax’s warm breath against his neck as she spoke. “That producer Krista who was running our little photo sesh said the cars won’t be here for us for at least another 20 minutes.”

“Wait, you guys,” Erikah’s eyes lit up with excitement. “I’ve got an idea. I don’t think there’s anyone upstairs.” She excitedly grabbed Talia’s forearm. “Get me some champs, I’m going to grab Reese. If we don’t all rush up at once, I’m pretty sure we can sneak up onto the terrace and avoid all the producers and crap until the cars are here.” Rohan face twisted into a slow steady grin.

“That’s actually…” Talia finished his sentence.

“A brilliant idea.”

“ _Sqeeeee”_ Jen clapped her hands together furiously.

“I’m absolutely in.” Dax smiled lifting her head and reaching for the drink the bartender had set on the island in front of her. “C’mon Jake, we both have drinks so we slip out first.” Dax stood and slid her hand into his pulling him up from the stool and leading him up the stairs. There were technicians dressed in black everywhere. Some up on ladders, some wrapping wires, most taking down the huge stage lights that had been fastened high up on the ceilings. Jake felt the air in his lungs grow heavy with sadness as he watched the villa slowly being taken apart. Still, his mood was immediately restored as Dax pulled him out onto the roof terrace for what he knew would be the last time.

The still night air hummed with the glow of the moon, and the dapple of the party lights bounced in happy rhythm up toward the sky. The air had finally cooled off but Jake could feel the heat radiating off of Dax’s skin as he pulled her body to him, hugging her from behind, as they both took a moment to stare off into the summer night. He tilted his head down to lay a string of soft kisses along her neck and shoulder. Dax let out a contented hum of approval.

“You were right, soldier.” Dax spun around to face him, breathing her words onto his lips. “Love wasn’t fair or easy.” Jake bit her bottom lip gently and kissed her.

“But it certainly was worth it.” He trailed the outside of his hand along the side of her face. Jake pulled Dax into a deep kiss letting his hand fall down onto her exposed collarbone. His fingers traced soft lines along the peaks and valley of her chest as the kiss deepened. He knew he should pull away, pause the moment before losing himself in her, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was so deeply seduced by her touch, by the scent of her hair, by his desire to tear her dress to pieces, he didn’t even notice as Mason, Tim, and Jen burst through the door.

“HEYYY.” Mason shouted. “No more roof bits you two, unless there’s an open invitation?” He winked and Dax smacked him on the shoulder. A familiar tickle of pride curled through Jake’s stomach as Mason cast another lustful glance at Dax. Jen giggled and stumbled down onto the bench.

“I’m pretty sure I established very early on I was against a villa wide orgy, so, no roof bits. Thank you very much.” Tim sat next to her draping his arm around her shoulder.

“But hotel bits later right babe?” Jen kissed him sweetly on the cheek.

“Babe, of course.” Tim let out an exaggerated growl as Erikah, Reese, Rohan and Talia slipped through the door. Jake moved to sit up in the corner of the bench, Dax snuggled up again on his lap rolling her bum into him and casting a knowing glance out of the corner of her eye.

_She’s playing with me. Fuck._

“You guys, Talia is ace, I swear.” Talia revealed her hands from behind her back and interlocked between her knuckles were three sealed bottles of champagne. “She got them away from the bartender before he even knew she was there.”

“It’s all about confidence. I’ve told you guys how I got onto Skeptikal’s tour bus right? It’s all in the attitude.” Talia sat down next to Jen and began to work off the gold foil on one of the bottles after handing a bottle to Jake. “Here. This one is for you two to pop, we’ll drink the other ones.” Dax smiled as Jake looped his arms around her waist to set the bottle in her lap and start pulling at the foil. Dax set her arm over Jake’s shoulder and began tracing the line of his jaw with the tips of her fingers. As she did this she crossed one leg over the other letting slit of her skirt open up over her legs.

_I cannot wait to leave this party._

“Here, open this.” Talia passed the un-opened bottle to Rohan.

“Mates.” Reese leaned down to kiss Erikah as he sat next to her. “Can you fucking believe it’s all over?”

“I’m honestly buzzing.” Talia smiled taking a fizzy swig from the champagne bottle “Being on the outside with only Jasper and Mason to talk to has been the pits.” She winked at Mason before sticking her tongue out and passing the bottle to him.

“I tried, ok? It’s not my fault all your girls were still on the inside.” Mason sipped from the bottle too quickly causing the drink to fizz and puff out in his cheeks. The group laughed as Mason spit some of the fizz over the balcony. “I did the best I could but I’m not going to talk about Jasper in bed, guys don’t do that Talia.”

“Someone needed to know!” She shouted, laughing, as Erikah and Jen squealed with giggles.

_Damn, someone needed to know what?_

“Pass that here!” Tim called grabbing the bottle that Rohan had managed to open. “Look after tonight, we’ll all be on the outside together.”

“Wait!” Erikah stood up abruptly pointing at Jake and Dax. “You have to make a wish and spray the champagne!” Rohan laughed rolling his eyes.

“I don’t think that’s a thing Erikah”

“Aw!” Jen brought her hands to her cheeks. “I love that! It’s so cute. C’mon Dax you and Jake have to!” A bottle had made its way back to Talia who sipped from it.

“Ok wait – no – that’s the grand finale. We should all say something supportive for Jake and Dax, they are the winners of Love Island after all, plus I think it’s hilarious watching Jake squirm when he’s the centre of attention.” She cast a wink at Jake.

_Fucking thanks Tals._

The group laughed as Talia raised the bottle she was holding. “To Jake and Dax – I know you’ll make it on the outside because I’ve never seen a couple fight to find their way to each other like you two did!” She took a swig as the other islanders cheerred and then she passed the bottle to Jen. “Ok, Jen you go.”

“Ooooo, ok, to Jake and sweet wonderful Dax, umm, I know you’ll make it on the outside because... Oh! Since you’re both so good with words, you’ll always find the best ways to say you love each other.” Jen smiled, took a small sip and passed the bottle to Tim.

“Mates, you’ll be bloody fine on the outside, Sweetcheeks makes the best breakfast and he’s gonna treat Dax like a queen. To you two!” Tim raised the bottle and swigged from it before passing it to Erikah. Jake felt a blush spreading across his entire face as his friends continued sharing. Watching the smiles on their faces shared over a bottle of bubbles and hope for the future filled his throat with unanticipated emotion.

“… so cheers!” Erikah passed the bottle to Reese.

“To Jake and Dax, you’re going to kill it on the outside because I expect nothing less from the Love Island Federation Champion!" Mason, Rohan and Tim let out some gruff hoots. "Dax, Jake, your determination is unmatched.” Reese took a sip and passed the bottle to Mason.

“You two will be fine on the outside because I saw bits of your bits on the telly, and fuck, it looked like a shitload of fun.” The islanders all hooted and hollered at Mason who guzzled the champagne too aggressively again, before spitting and passing the bottle to Rohan.

“To Jake and Dax. Two of the most thoughtful people I know. You’re going to be together a long time on the outside, I know it. I know finding each other in here was hard, but I really believe if anyone will keep that spirit, that drive to keep finding each other, through any obstacle, it’s you two.” Rohan clapped his hand down on Jake’s knee as loud honking noises startled the entire group.

“Wow, I think that means this is really the end." Dax stood and smiled softly, her eyes glistening slightly as a few tears formed in the corners. "You all are some of the best people I’ve ever known. I’m so happy to have you as friends, honestly for life, and the support you’ve given me and Jake,” she reached back and grabbed his hand, “it means the world to me. To us.” Jake looked up at Dax a wicked smile spreading across her face as her dimples pinched tightly.

_She’s so fucking stunning._

“Jake and I are going to spray this champagne and make our wish, then you lot are following us downstairs and all our asses are jumping in that pool, understood?” The islanders all cheered as Jake stood to stand next to Dax and she began shaking the uncaged bottle. The cork flew off the bottle with a satisfying **_bang_** and Dax instantly slipped her thumb over the bursting fizz continuing to shake the bottle over everyone as merry tipsy laughter rang out into the night.

_I wish for her, forever._

____________________________________________

“Mmmmm, Jake, Jake,” Dax's voice echoed in the marble lift as she playfully pushed his shoulders away from hers. “Soldier, we’re literally 30 seconds from our private hotel suite.”

“I know, but how am I supposed to stay away from you in that robe, you’ve barely got it closed.” Jake pressed himself forward again dropping his lips against her soft neck and pressing her back against the mirrored wall of the lift. She giggled as he bit down playfully onto the tendons in her neck, sliding the tips of his fingers inside hem of the terrycloth robe and down between her breasts. Thankfully, the production team had been thrilled at the photos they got of the entire cast jumping into the pool. They’d provided all the islanders with robes and towels, so they’d be dry on their respective rides to the hotel. Still, with so much champagne in his head, watching Dax change into her robe and knowing she had nearly nothing on underneath -

_Fuck I can't wait any longer..._

The lift bell chimed indicating they’d reached their stop. Jake reached an arm out behind him to prevent the door from closing.

“Ladies first.” Dax shimmied through the door reaching into the deep pocket of her robe to find the key they’d been given at the front desk.

“It just says 35.” She said flipping the small white keycard over in her hands. “Should I go back down? They didn’t write our room number.” Dax’s brows furrowed as she studied the card for a number that clearly didn’t exist.

_No fucking way._

“I think…” Jake chuckled with excitement as he leaned his head around the corner of the hallway. “I think we’ve got the whole floor.” He turned back to Dax his heart racing with anticipation as he held out his hand to her. He led her around the corner to a single large white door. “Here, can I see the key?” Dax handed him the card which he tapped to the lock triggering a series of mechanical whirs and clicks. Jake opened the door to the most stunning hotel suite he’d ever seen. The main entrance opened up into an all-white foyer and living room that was decorated with soft gold accent pieces and marble flooring.

“Holy shit.”

To their right, floor to ceiling windows provided a breathtaking view of the island of Mallorca; the houses and buildings glittering like stars across the dark landscape. Jake turned to comment on the view to Dax, but noticed she’d already made her way down the hallway where a massive arch opened up to a corner that clearly led to another room.

“Christ, Jake you have to come to see this.” Jake hustled down the hallway, turning through the arch to find a gorgeous four-post bed and their luggage already neatly arranged on the sideboard. He scanned the room but saw no sign of Dax. “In here.” He turned to pass through one last arch and came upon a huge marble bathroom complete with a giant stone tub directly in the centre and, at the far end – directly against the floor to ceiling windows, a rainfall shower that nearly took up the length of the room.

“This is absolutely mental.” Jake couldn’t catch his breath.

“Right? I’ve got to win love island more often.” Dax giggled to herself and turned to face him. “Care for a shower soldier? I’m still covered in chlorine form the pool.” She let one side of the robe fall off of her shoulder and untied the knot that had been holding the garment around her. She swung the end of the tie in a sultry circle, biting her lip and giggling in a silly but captivating impersonation of a burlesque dancer. She dropped the robe's other side before quickly turning around and looking back at him over her shoulder.

_She’s not even trying to be sexy and she's just… everything._

Dax finally let the entire robe slip off her body. Every bit of her skin, bar the bits covered by the small black lace pants she wore, shone in the low light of the bathroom. Jake crossed the room to her and pulled her into a deep kiss.

“I’d love nothing more than wet naked you.” Jake slipped out of his own robe and pants, and pulled open the large glass door to the shower. Dax stepped out of her thong and followed behind him as he twisted the large knob to warm, and the length of the large showerhead came crashing on. Dax squealed jumping toward him as cold water fell from above. Jake immediately felt his breathing become shallower as he felt her warm naked body press up against him. Slowly the water began to warm and Dax’s tight hold around his shoulders loosened. She let herself lean back into the steam of the water and Jake’s breath caught in the back of his throat. The water sliding down her tight body made her every curve glisten. Jake felt himself grow harder and harder as he watched her explore her own face and body with her hands as she basked in the rejuvenating water. Dax ran her hands through her wet hair pushing it all from her face and as she twisted her hair to one side, she finally reopened her eyes.

“What’re you staring at?” A growl escaped from the deepest place in him.

“You, gorgeous.” He slowly raised his hands, beginning to massage her shoulders. He could feel the warmth rising from her body and noticed the skin on her shoulders turning slightly pink from the heat of the water. “Here, let me help you.” Jake reached over Dax to the stone shelf at the side of the shower to where the hotel toiletries had been laid out for their use. He grabbed the bottle of shower gel and snapped it open, the smell of citrus and clove blending with the steam of the shower. Jake knelt in front of her, setting the small bottle on the ground as began working his hands along her legs, pressing deep circular motions into her muscles. The gel wasn’t very thick, but it quickly created a decadent lather as he ran his hands over her, enjoying the electricity coming off her skin. He moved his hands slowly up and around her shapely legs, the tips of his fingers sometimes lingering at the backs of her knees, then returning to glide up the silken skin of her inner thighs. Jake let the water carry away most of the lather before sliding the tip of his middle finger up and down along the line of her lips. Jake used two fingers to gently stretch her, teasing at what was to come, and Dax caught her breath with a start. He used only the most gentle, tantalizing caresses for a few moments until her body began reacting to his touch. Dax let out a sultry moan as she pressed her hips back against Jake’s hand.

He moved his mouth toward her. His tongue aiming for her swollen clit, wild, and devoid of any sense or plan. All Jake felt was hunger. Dax whimpered in pleasure as he found her opening with his fingers and pressed inside her, letting his full lips suck at her crest. Jake growled as he drew his tongue up and down between her lips, her taste intoxicating. He looked up to Dax’s face as he continued circling his fingers inside her and his tongue around her. Her mouth was open and gasping into the shower’s steady stream, eyes wild and hot, her face flushed with desire. She had lowered herself somewhat bending her knees slightly and resting her hands on his shoulders. He could feel her rub herself more frantically now against his teasing tongue. Jake couldn’t ignore how utterly beautiful and vulnerable she was, putty in his hands, clearly desperate to come, but still submissive. Struggling with herself to await any possible orders. He increased the speed of his swirling tongue and Dax gasped again, her hips beginning to tremble as she gave a soft, almost inaudible moaning breath. Sensing her closeness, he kissed into her deeply, continuing to curl his fingers in and out of her. He matched the movements of his fingers with his tongue, spinning his fingers along the walls inside her, and spreading them apart as he pulled them out.

Dax’s hand flew out to the side, bracing her body up against the glass shower wall as her knees finally gave way. Jake pulled his fingers from her and Dax let out a disappointed yelp.

“No… I…” Dax whined quietly as Jake stood. He drew his hand along her taut stomach letting his fingers catch the underside of her breasts as he traced their curves with his fingertips.

“You didn’t think it’d be that easy did you, angel?” The feel of her body was indulgence and delight, hot and supple, taut muscle and firm but yielding flesh. Jake’s heart was thudding in his ears at her desperate moans and the small bumps that had appeared all along her skin. Dax stepped close to him, the steaming water cascading across his shoulders only heightening the sensation as she pressed her slick body against him. She lifted herself up on her toes as she dropped a hand between them, beginning to stroke him. Jake could feel his already throbbing cock continue to swell with anticipation. Dax grazed her lips against his, lightly licking his top lip, then dragging her lips across his cheek and eventually slipping her tongue in his ear. Her eager honeyed voice whispered.

“Then how do you want me?“ she ran her lips down his neck, sending a forceful shiver through his limbs. Jake let his hands begin exploring her chest. He slid the palms of his hands out flat along her collarbone keeping the tips of his thumbs touching. Slowly, but with intention, he pushed her, silently instructing that she move backwards until her back was flat against the steaming shower wall. As she thumped into the marble, a roguish gleam crossed behind her eyes. Jake slid his hands upward, moving slowly up toward the base of her neck. With his hands finally around her throat he constricted ever so lightly. “Mmmmmm -” Dax sultry moan caused Jake’s stomach to flip. “So you want me breathless… begging… helpless…” she let out a tantalizing pant between each word, her eyes lit with lust. Before he could reply, before he could even decide how he wanted her, his body decided for him. He wasn’t in the mood for games. He wasn’t in the mood for controlling or being controlled. In this first truly private moment, he was only in the mood for pleasure. His own, in that he had to have her, he wanted to use her perfect body to satisfy his arousal. But pleasure also for her; he was in the mood to blind her with ecstasy and send her crashing into bliss, to ravage her with reckless abandon, finally truly alone.

“Fuck, I just want you, **now**.” Jake’s voice was harsh and demanding. In a flash, he’d dropped his hands around her ass and had lifted her up against the shower wall. She squealed and giggled as she caught his eye.

"Then fuck me, soldier," she said, and Jake nodded with a wicked grin. She reached down between them and positioned the head of his cock at her slit. She wrapped her legs around his waist, squeezing her knees into him, helping to hold herself up and slowly lower herself onto him. They both exhaled sharply as he held her in his strong arms and thrust his cock into her. He groaned as her wet hot walls gripped him all the way to his base, squeezing him tightly with every move. Jake slammed into her without mercy, their bodies locked together, the whole of her open to his touch. He broke from their kisses to suck and bite at her chest, her moans becoming louder and louder. He thrust himself harder and harder and harder into her, pushing his hips upward so the tip of his cock would press up into the spot he’d used his fingers to make so sensitive just minutes before. “Holy shit, Jake, fuck.” Dax’s breathless words sent a jolt of arousal through his stomach and legs bringing him closer to climax than he was ready for. Jake dropped her, suddenly, catching her around her waist as a sweet surprised _‘oh’_ escaped her lips. He helped her stabilize her footing, trying to suppress the electricity surging through every nerve in his body. Just as quickly as he’d set her down, he spun her away from him. Wrapping his fingers around her neck he pulled her close and pressed himself to the backside of her body. She rolled her head back onto his shoulder as he growled into her ear.

“Bend over.” He commanded his voice surly and dripping with arousal. He released his grip from her throat and Dax looked lustfully over her shoulder back at him. She slowly and sensuously leaned forward spreading her stance wider and wider as she bent over. Jake entered her from behind. He slipped one hand under her body to caress one of her breasts while the other looped around her hips and between her legs to find her clit and began rubbing it roughly. With each thrust, he felt her hips rise to meet his, her breath would catch in her throat, and another whine would sound out. Every time she whimpered; he felt the static in his limbs rise higher and higher, and his mind grow weaker. He could feel her thighs quivering and hear her metering her breath he wrapped his hands tightly around her waist, his vice grip pulling her over and over onto him.

“Oh, fuck, oh my god Jake…” her voice was shuddering.

“Cum for me,” he growled through the intensity of his thrusts as he felt her begin to spasm around him. Pleasure flowed through Jake’s body, static turning into ice in his veins, a river of numbness threatening to wash him away, crashing over him like a tidal wave, drowning him, blinding him. The world disappeared. All he could hear were her cries of pleasure, all he could feel was her skin, and all he could smell was vanilla and cinnamon.

____________________________________________

After properly cleaning off and revelling again in the marvel of their suite, Dax and Jake slipped into their massive plush top bed. Dax giggled as the lifted the duvet up to her eyes.

“I think if I wanted, I could hide from you forever in this thing – it’s so huge. We could invite another four people to sleep here with us.”

“What?” Jake laughed, feigning an inability to hear her, and playing into her opinion on the grandness of the mattress. Dax laughed and rolled close to him.

“I wouldn’t want that though.” She smiled tenderly up at him.

“Not to point out the obvious, but I’m quite glad you don’t want to hide from me.” Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she cosied herself up against him.

“No,” she yawned, “I wouldn’t want to invite four other people into bed with us.” Dax gently placed her arm over Jake’s broad chest settling nicely into the spot he’d created to hold her. “I’m so happy to finally get to be us, just us and soon – just us in our own apartment, in our own bed, in our own life – that we get to build – for us.” A deep and lustrous warmth spread along the inside of Jake’s chest where his heart ought to be.

“The life that we build for us.” He pulled her close to him. “That has a nice ring to it.”

“It certainly does.” He couldn’t see her face, but he could tell from her voice Dax was smiling a dimpled smile. “I love you solider.”

“I love you too, Dax.” Jake reached far behind him to twist the switch that would turn out the bedside light. As he held her in his arms the world melted away, and overwhelmingly he felt grateful. Grateful for her, for her love, and for all that she inspired in him. Grateful that the drama of the villa and their difficult path was behind them, and grateful that she’d chosen him to love her, and that all was well…

… at least, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for my next work "Reasons to Forgive" which will begin posting in Mid-Late August!
> 
> \- 
> 
> Wow, I cannot believe this story has come to its end. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who's made it with me to this point. Writing this couple, and this character has been the most fun I've had writing in SO long, and knowing that I get to share the story with all of you has been amazing!
> 
> REMINDER - Chapters 45 and 46 of this fic are an epilogue/BONUS chapters that take place post villa, BUT if you're in the mood for more Jake and Dax GET PUMPED!! There's going to be a sequel!!


	45. Reasons to Forgive (Preview Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay! This is an excerpt from the middle of the sequel to this story, Reasons to Forgive ~ I just couldn't get writing this little bit out of my head so I hope you all enjoy and you return for my next fic!
> 
> Summary: A year after the end of Love Island Jake is forced to face parts of him he thought were gone and parts of his relationship he never knew existed.
> 
> Reasons to Forgive will really up the angst and break some hearts, to help Jake find out who he really is, and what he really wants for the future. Will begin posting late August!!
> 
> ps. Kudos and comments literally make my day so, please please leave them if you feel it!

The wet bite of the cold London air stung at Jakes nose and cheeks as he climbed up the steps of the tube station, attempting to climb the icy stairs carefully but also quickly; he was already very late. As he arrived onto the street, he popped up the thick wool collar of his grey pea coat to cover his neck and block his skin from the swirling wind. Jake’s mind felt like a ball of tangled yarn, twisted, spun, and knotted in a million different ways. Certainly, he missed everyone. Once the press tours and morning shows had stopped, they’d all promised to stay in touch, and for a while they had. Mason had that poker night for the lads at his flat in Shoreditch. Jake had invited most of the group to the Grand Opening of Sweet Orchard’s new Hackney spot. Almost everyone made it to his and Dax's house warming. Still, the group chat really had slowed down as they all got on with their regular lives. Talia and Ro were the only ones who he’d seen with any regularity, aside of course, from Dax. And so, he did want to see everyone. He wanted to laugh with Reese and drink with Tim and joke around with Mason. But he just didn't want to on this particular night. Jake felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

“Mate, where are you?” Jake could feel the cold air spiking into his lungs as he pushed himself to walk as quickly as he could without bursting into a run.

“I’ve left early tonight Art. I emailed everyone about this last week.”

“Fucking hell Jake, I read the email, but have you read any of me texts?” Jake pulled his phone from his ear and dragged the notifications menu open on the screen. There were six messages from Art in all caps. He paused where he was in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Sorry, I was underground. What’s going on?”

“Things are going arse over tit that’s what's going on.” Arthur sounded exasperated, and the clanging and shouting of the busy kitchen made it hard to understand him. “We’ve had two fuckin' call outs, and there’s a power problem. Current ain’t runnin’ to any of the provin' drawers or either of the back coolers. We made it through the first few seatings, but there’s at least two left with the reservations we’ve got. BUT we’re out of fuckin' bread, and we can’t keep using the fridges and lettin' cold air out, or shit is goin to start getting dodgy.” Jake rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“Fuck Art, c’mon those are problems you can solve without me. Call Betsy. She can handle the call outs either by coming in and helping find someone else spare. The number for the technician we use is written on the corkboard in my office.”

“Your fuckin' office is locked, and there’s still a chance that guy from the Times comes in tonight.”

“He’s not going to come. They don’t come after second seating.” Jake swallowed hard as he tried to convince himself that was true. “Pick the lock or wait for Besty she’s got the spare. You know I can’t come back - Dax will kill me.” Jake pulled his phone away from his ear again, and it lit up with the time.

_22:47, fucking hell, shit shit shit._

“How important can a fucking Christmas party really be? You’re what 15 from us? It’ll take Besty at least 30.”

“Birthday party, mate. It’s her fucking birthday. I **have** to go. You and Kara can hold down the fort for half an hour, ok? I need you to handle this mate.” Jake began walking again, his pace even faster than before.

“You owe me one.”

“I owe you nothing dickhead. You literally get a paid to run the place while I’m not there.” Art laughed loudly into the other side of the phone.

“Tell Dax I said happy Birthday alright, that I’ll make her something special next time she’s in yea?”

“Of course, keep me posted.”

Jake pinched the side button of his phone, slipping it into back his pocket as he headed up the stoop to press his key fob to the electronic lock. After a series of beeps, a loud buzz rang out in time with the heavy click of the door unlocking. He made his way inside and took one of the lifts to the top floor. The riot could be heard even before he’d made it halfway down the hall, and the cheering only increased in volume as he swung the heavy red door open. Music played loudly as two familiar faces in holiday jumpers turned to meet his. A thrilled and piercing squeal resonated through his head and Jen’s arms flew out above her head and over his shoulders.

“JAKE IS HOME!!”

_Sweet girl._

“Bruvvvvvv,” Tim smiled holding his arms out, a plastic cup nestled comfortably in his hand and a Santa hat snug atop his head. Jen released her grip from around his neck leaning backwards into Tim’s open arms. “We’re so happy to be here, mate.” Tim stretched out his free hand to Jake, offering him a shake and a laddish hug with Jen still in between them. Jake smiled at Tim as he unfastened the buttons on his coat.

“I’m thrilled you’re here Tim, I missed you, you old geezer.”

_Mostly true. I did miss him._

“Where’s Dax?” Jake smiled as he shrugged out of the heavy wool sleeves of his coat.

“You didn’t pass her on your way up?” Jen furrowed her brows and leaned her head out into the hallway before closing the door.

“No.” Jake walked his coat over to the tall vintage rack Dax had found the day they’d gone antiquing at Battlesbridge. He could still remember how excited she’d been that the salesperson had misdated the piece, and thus significantly underpriced it.

“She was walking out with her friend and that guy from her work? What were their names again, babe?” Tim reached his arm out to Jen snapping as he searched the back of his clearly tipsy mind.

_Fucking shit. I missed them._

“Addison and Oscar?” Jake practically groaned the names across his lips as the yarn in his head tightened into tighter knots.

_Dax is going to kill me. Shit._

“YES!” Tim pointed a firm finger out at Jake. “They were both pretty ace, makes sense her friends would be great since Dax is wicked too.”

“Tim,” Jen scolded, “Stop talking. It’s his house, let him get through the door at least.”

“Absolutely not, **absolutely fucking not**. Six is chicks. Girls drink.” Jake turned the corner to Mason’s booming voice and the sight of him, Cherry, Rohan, Erikah, and Reese lounging in his living room around a ring of cards set out on the coffee table. Mason was making his way towards the large and, in Jake’s opinion, well-stocked bar cart against the windows of the large room as Cherry shimmied up behind him, holding out her empty glass.

“No way!” giggled Erikah. “Six is dicks which means **guys** drink. Ten is hens; that’s when girls drink.”

“She’s right.” Jake crooned softly as all the faces in the room turned to him.

“Jake!” “Mate!” “OH, yay!” "Sweetcheeks!!"

The room erupted with cheers and everyone stood to exchange hugs and hellos.

_This is absolutely mad. Wow._

It took a moment for him to process the sight of his Love Island friends strewn across his worn cosy-looking leather furniture. Rohan jumped up from the couch and instead of walking around it, jumped over the back of the sofa straight onto Jake, pulling him into a tight and genuine hug. Jake hugged him back closely.

“Mate, god it’s so good to see you.” Rohan’s voice was filled with earnest excitement as he squeezed his arms tightly around Jake’s shoulders. They loosened their embrace and Jake ruffled a brotherly hand through Rohan’s dark fluffy hair.

“It’s good to see you too, mate. How’s school?”

“We’ve just started this round bruv!” Mason called out from across the room. “What’ll ya drink, join the game, tell us how you’ve been.”

“Whiskey straight, thanks.” Jake walked around the couch, properly into the living room, and dropped down onto the sofa where Mason had been sitting previously. Rohan followed, dropping down onto a cushion on the floor left of the table.

“School is good, fucking exhausting, and well, you know how we talked about it being sort of weird to go back with everyone recognizing me? Well, that’s really settled a lot _-_ and it’s been really great to be here for Holiday, oh! And! Since I’m almost done, I’ve been looking into getting into a practice here in London. A place near the West End actually already made me an offer.”

“No way?” A rush of delight spread like electricity across Jake’s ribcage.

"Yea, it's conditional on getting my license but, I'm pretty stoked."

“Ro, that would be amazing, having you in town instead of all the way out with the Wolves.”

“It **would** be nice, wouldn’t it?” Cherry’s sultry voice hummed as she turned from the bar cart, walking a glass over to Jake. She leaned down and kissed him gingerly on the cheek, a slight blush rushing to his cheeks as she did. “Happy Christmas Wilson, your place is gorgeous.” Jake grabbed the whiskey from her as she turned to sit on a floor cushion on the opposite side of the table from Rohan. He took a long sip.

“It is good to see you, Jake, but I can’t let Mason get away with this.” Erikah was lounging along the opposite arm of the couch, leaning against Reese who sat below her on the actual couch cushions. “He drew a six from the ring. That means all the guys have to drink.” Reese chuckled and shook his head. He wrapped his arm around Erikah’s hips and pulled her from the arm of the couch into his lap.

“No need to be so stubborn babe, it’s nearly Christmas, and Dax’s birthday” he kissed her cheek, “she gets to win all the games anyway.” Erikah crossed her arms as Tim and Jen made their way into the armchair on the other side of the room.

“Fine.” Erikah rolled her eyes. “But from now on, six means dicks.”

“Bottoms up then bellends!” Tim smiled as he raised his glass and nuzzled his lips into Jen’s neck, growling playfully as she squealed. The men in the room all lifted their glasses toward each other. Jake heard the door open as the whiskey burned down his throat. “Ok, Cherry was next, yea?”

He bounded up from his seat and back to the front door where Dax and Talia had just entered.

“Oh, hello handsome, ‘bout time you made an appearance.” Talia pulled him into a hug kissing him affectionately on the cheek.

“I know, I know – I’m sorry.” Jake gave Talia’s hand a squeeze.

“You always are.” Dax raised an eyebrow leaning against the door frame. Wisps of her long hair had escaped from the messy knot atop her head and she tucked a strand behind her ear. Sensing the shift in tone, Talia slipped wordlessly into the living room. “It’s eleven o'clock, Jake. Doesn’t really seem like you took the night off?” Dax crossed her arms, not moving from her position in the door.

“I know, I know,” Jake moved toward her wrapping his arms around her waist and looking down at her. He kissed her softly on the forehead. “I’m really sorry Dax, I stopped by Sweet Orchard just to check in quickly before first seating, the reviewer had called yesterday and said he might stop in, so I had to just manage a couple of things, and time got ahead of me.” 

“You missed Addison and Oz. I was really excited you’d finally meet them.”

“I’ve really fucked up, Dax.”

“It’s fucking Christmas eve.” He brought his lips to the base of her ear and kissed slowly down her jaw. Dax kept her arms crossed but he could feel some of the stiffness melt away from her shoulders.

“Please forgive me. It’s your birthday in less than an hour.” Jake rested his forehead against hers, whispering his words right up against her lips. “I don’t want to start your twenty-sixth year in a fight. I want to kick these tossers out and ring it in ravishing you.” Pressing his body into hers, and traced a line across her lips with his fingertips. “I also think that Santa Claus made it illegal to be mad when you’re wearing a Christmas jumper.” Dax laughed and uncrossed her arms.

“Fine. I’m a little tipsy, and I don’t want to be upset, so you get one pass tonight” she rolled her eyes biting her lip to contain a small smile, “as long as you’re really home and work has stayed at work, I can wait to guilt you until tomorrow.”

“Sweet merciful angel.” He smiled, finally feeling the tension break from his own body and lifting her into a spin. As he set her down, Dax slipped her hand into his finally moving to close the door.

“So did the reviewer guy come?”

“No,” Over his shoulder, he could see Talia tapping at her wrist and pointing to the kitchen. She disappeared silently behind Dax through the arch that lead to the kitchen. “But I don’t want to talk about me. I want to celebrate you with our friends.” Jake pushed her back toward the living room where the party was continuing with all its enthusiasm. “Go sit, I’m going to grab a drink, and I’ll be right in.” Dax wrapped her hands on each side of his jaw and pulled him into a deep kiss. Her soft lips brushed against him just long enough from to let the tip of his tongue tease her.

“Bring me some tonic?” Dax winked and whisked away into the living room her sensuous hips rolling left and right with each step. Jake leaned back against the closed door watching as she walked away, suddenly feeling as though an ice cube was slowly melting in his chest.

_Get your head together mate – she’s crazy enough to want you and –_

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

**Call me. John is here.**

_Christ, again?_

Jake pulled his phone from his pocket and slipped into the kitchen, a stone forming in the back of his throat.

“So, I brought a few different - ” Jake interrupted Talia’s thought, holding up his phone and whispering.

“Sorry Tals, two seconds.” He walked over to the large window on the backside of the kitchen. “Art, what the fuck is John doing in?”

“I don’t well know, but he’s pissed. Probably came to suck reviewer cock, but didn’t want us to know.”

“Silent partner my ass.” Frustration curled fast and wild through Jake’s limbs as the noise of the party began to fade from his ears. “So he’s staying?”

“He wants the tasting menu, and we have no bread, pastry dough, or fucking coolers.” Jake let his forehead fall forward onto the window.

“I don’t know what to do. He pays most of the rent on this new place; we can’t upset him. Give the phone to Betsy.”

“She’s out there trying to smooth things over, but we barely had enough servings for the reservations, not for him and his guest.”

“Look just have her call me when she’s back in the kitchen ok?” Jake tapped furiously at the phone, turning and setting it down hard on the counter.

“Look – babes. I don’t know what’s going on, but you’ve got to let it go. I don’t know what you said to get Dax to kiss you like that, but from what she was saying to me, I’m surprised she didn’t lock you out.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Talia raised a suspicious brow setting her hand on her hips. “Because it’s her birthday and you were late and just took a work call instead of helping me bring out her cake.” Talia turned back to sticking candles in the cake on the counter in front of her.

“I know Tals. It was for two seconds.”

“And what will you do when Betty calls back?” Jake stood silently for a moment; all the air slowly emptying from his lungs. Her stare made his heart sink. It made him want to disappear into himself and into nothingness.

“Betsy." He paused "And I’ll deal with it, Tals.”

“You’re my favourite person Jake, and I know you absolutely worship Dax, but you have to figure out how to fit her into your life better, or you will lose her.” Jake could feel his breathing get faster as Talia’s words rang in his ears. "You completely missed meeting her childhood best friend, and the only new co-worker she can stand."

_I can’t do this right now. Fuck._

“The lighter is in the drawer right in front of you, just wait till I dim the lights to start singing, yea?” Jake stormed out of the kitchen and flipped the switch in the hall. Talia began to sing loudly, carrying the lit cake.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU…”

The group was ecstatic and drunk, singing the song with full hearts and swinging arms. Jake turned to look at Dax, who’s delighted and blushing smile made his skin tingle and his knees feel like mush.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU…”

Over the singing and some music still playing through a speaker, the world turned into distant muddled chatter. He couldn’t make out any specific voices or words, but laughter and the beating of his own heart rang in Jake’s ears and wouldn’t seem to stop. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DAAAA-AAAAX…”

His trance was broken by the piercing jingle of his cell phone. Some of the group stopped and turned to him and some continued the song. Jake scrambled to pull the phone from his pocket and silence it.

_Of course Betsy. Right now._

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!” The group awkwardly cheered raising glasses to Dax who’s smile faded from genuine to feigned as Jake slipped back into the apartment foyer to return the call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! This is an excerpt from the middle of the sequel to this story, Reasons to Forgive ~ I just couldn't get writing this little bit out of my head so I hope you all enjoy and you return for my next fic!
> 
> Summary: A year after the end of Love Island Jake is forced to face parts of him he thought were gone and parts of his relationship he never knew existed.
> 
> Reasons to Forgive will really up the angst and break some hearts, to help Jake find out who he really is, and what he really wants for the future. Will begin posting late August!!
> 
> ps. Kudos and comments literally make my day so, please please leave them if you feel it!


	46. Reasons to Forgive (Preview Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXTRA TAG FOR THIS CHAPTER - Threesome 
> 
> Yay! This is an excerpt from the middle of the sequel to this story, Reasons to Forgive ~ I just couldn't get writing this little bit out of my head so I hope you all enjoy and you return for my next fic! 
> 
> Summary: A year after the end of Love Island Jake is forced to face parts of him he thought were gone and parts of his relationship he never knew existed.
> 
> Reasons to Forgive will really up the angst and break some hearts, to help Jake find out who he really is, and what he really wants for the future. Will begin posting late August!!
> 
> ps. Kudos and comments literally make my day so, please please leave them if you feel it!

“I can’t believe it,” Talia took a long drag from the small rolled paper between her fingers “I LITERALLY cannot believe it.” She giggled and coughed, as Dax rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and Rohan grabbed the spliff. “Who fucking proposes on someone else’s birthday?”

“Fucking Reese does,” Dax laughed leaning back against the arm of the couch and stretching her long legs out across Rohan’s lap. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Erikah had asked him to, she’s always been of two weird minds about me. Fuck knows why.” The world felt a bit fuzzy. The party had died down after the cutting and eating of the cake, but Talia and Ro, as usual, had lingered behind. The foursome was drinking heavily and laughing fiercely, but through the buzz, Jake knew he was in trouble. As soon as he’d returned from talking to Betsy, Dax was all over Rohan. She didn’t employ the tactic often but whenever she was seriously mad at Jake she had the habit of, shamelessly, trying to make him jealous. Most often with Rohan. To her credit, Jake had never admitted to her that he’d noticed. 

_It’s not like he stops her, but can I blame him. He's single with Dax throwing herself at him? He’s only human. Plus, he can’t know she does it on purpose. Right?_

“Did you and Erikah ever like, get past the CherryGate thing?" Talia grabbed the joint back and took a long slow drag. "Watching it all back, like – it was Levi’s fault, he treated you awfully. But Erikah was so shady about it.” Talia let the smoke creep out of her mouth as she breathed in slowly through her nose. "Like, her jealousy of you was so uncalled for and so badly handled." Jake leaned back in the armchair, watching the girls gossip and watching Rohan adjust his pull more of Dax on top of his lap.

_Sneaky, sneaky Ro._

“I mean yea we chatted at a few of the big group interview things, and like cleared the air. We’re ok, but, I don’t think we’ll ever be super-super close. Not like us four.”

Jake took a long sip of his whiskey, letting his arms rest on the wide arms of the chair, another of Dax’s successful vintage finds. Truly the only one Jake really pushed for buying. It was almost the exact same chair as the villa had in the hideaway. The same one where he first had her. Convincing her to buy it and placing it in the corner of their living room felt like a sexy secret only he knew. Sitting in it and watching Rohan’s lust grow began to feel overwhelming; there was something uncontrollably arousing about seeing Ro's undeniable attraction to Dax, about watching him want her and watching him have to adjust his seat to hide his erection. Rohan moved his hands to rest them on top of Dax’s thighs, and for the first time, he looked up and caught eyes with Jake. Ro swallowed, his eyes dipping down guiltily, and grabbed the roach from Talia.

“Want any?” Jake smiled broadly trying to put his young friend at ease.

“Nah, I try to avoid the stuff.”

_He knows I don’t smoke._

“Right no, yea, totally.” Rohan took another hit. "Sorry, I forgot."

“But Cherry like actually dated Levi for a while right?”

“UGH. I know!” Dax whined. She crawled forward over Rohan lounging over the other edge of the couch toward Talia. Her perfect ass was laid out over Rohan’s lap. “Even after everything aired, after everything he said and did, she was all over the socials defending him.” Jake couldn’t help but chuckle to himself at how casual Dax was trying to be, and how hard Rohan was trying not touch her ass. “I think it was a PR move for both of them, the public didn't exactly go easy.”

“I need another drink.” Rohan abruptly stood up, sliding out from under Dax and walking over to the bar cart.

_Poor lad._

“Jeez,” Talia stood tossing back the last of the wine in her glass. “If that’s the case, dibs on the guest room, cause I’m already way too pissed and stoned to drive home. You’re taking the couch this time Ro.” Dax stood up to clumsily hug Talia and stroke her hair. “Awww love,” Talia giggled “did you have a good night?”

“I did. It was so good to see everyone, and I haven’t played drinking games and laughed like that since uni. It was just good to let go for a night, you know? Forget about twenty-six-year-old adult life stuff, and just have fun.” Dax looked directly at Jake as she spoke. Jake adjust his seat in his chair, guilt creeping down his spine like watercolour ink seeping into paper.

_Adult life stuff, like strained relationships. Fuck._

“Is there more tonic?” Rohan’s nervous voice asked from the corner.

“Yes love,” crooned Dax finally letting go of Talia. “It’s in the door of the fridge, on the left side.” He scurried from the room toward the kitchen. “And for you,” she turned back to Talia, “the bed's all made, and there should be some towels in the closet if you want to shower in the morning.” The girls kissed cheeks and Talia wandered over to Jake. She reached down to squeeze his hand.

“Night, handsome.”

“Goodnight.” He smiled, flipping his hand to squeeze back tenderly. Talia walked off down the hall, and finally Jake and Dax were alone.

“About before - ” Jake shifted forward in his chair, resting his elbow on his knees and his chin in his hands.

“I don’t want to fight Jake. I’m buzzed and happy, and I don’t want to ruin it by letting myself think about our stuff. I love you and we’re going to figure it out, just not right now.” Jake moved next to her on the couch and put his arm around her shoulder kissing her tenderly on the temple.

“I know we’re going to figure it out, but I also know how upset you are. I just want you to know I’m sorry.” Dax rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m not **that** upset.”

“You are.” Jake laughed, “you only try to make me jealous when you want me to remember how lucky I am to have you.” Dax’s eyes went wide as she crinkled her nose and giggled.

“Maybe just a little.” She turned her head up to him, kissing him at first smoothly, softly, but then with forceful growing rhythm. Her tongue wrapped achingly around his, as she moved to sit on top of him; knees on either side of his thighs, dress sliding up her widening legs.

“Well, it’s working – just a little. And you’re getting Ro all flustered.” Jake pulled back from her kiss, his head swirling with memories of the villa, of each of the guys, in turn, wanting her.

“It’s your punishment for being late to the party.” Jake felt her smile widen as she moved her mouth across his cheek and to his ear. “Besides,” she hummed into him, pressing her hips down hard, “we both know it isn’t **really** a punishment. We both know how keyed up it makes you” - her hot breath tickled his ear. “The idea of another man lusting after me when we both know I want you.” She nipped at his bottom lip sending blood pulsing between his legs. The noise of Rohan digging around in the fridge sent a wicked idea through his mind.

_Don’t get ahead of yourself mate, are you sure that was on there?_

She’d written her list of fantasies in her journal. Of course, when she let him read it, he tried his best to excitedly commit as much of the list as possible to memory. He could distinctly remember how funny he found it that the delicate twirl of her cursive writing was at such odds with the kinky desires she’d put to the page. Yes, he was sure, the image of her written desire was getting clearer in his mind, he could even remember the ink was blue.

_Devil’s Three._

Rohan poked his head through the arch that lead to the kitchen.

“You said it’s on the left side?” He scratched the top of his head before replacing his hands on around the edges of the archway. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He awkwardly swivelled his head to look away from Jake and Dax’s intimate moment on the couch.

“On the left of the **door.** ” Dax giggled “You’re not interrupting,” she smiled, “get that tonic and hurry back to us. Bring me some of the Kava as well yea?” Rohan nodded ducking back into the kitchen and Dax moved to slide off of Jake’s lap. Jake’s hand shot out around her, catching her ass and pulling her back onto him.

“I’m really growing pretty keen on the idea of apologizing properly and thoroughly in the morning but skipping to the make-up part tonight instead.”

_You know you want to ask, just grow a pair and do it._

“But," he paused. "I’ve got a question first…” Jake slid his wide palms along the outside of her thighs as he brought his lips to her collarbone. “Why is it always Rohan?” Jake raised an eyebrow coyly, sliding Dax gently back onto the couch and walking toward the bar cart with his empty glass.

“You’ve seen him, he’s just so sweet when he’s flustered, it's so easy to flirt with Ro.” Dax frowned, her brows curled with concern. “I hadn’t thought about how close you two are. I’m so sorry.” She adjusted her legs underneath her. “Really. I can put Rohan on the off-limits list, because if it bothers you… well, that’s the point. But not the whole point.” Jake opened a bottle of whiskey and poured a double into the glass.

“Quite the opposite actually.” He brought the whiskey to his lips, sitting back in his armchair and crossing his knee over his ankle. “Watching you two, someone might think you’re quite attracted to him.” He raised his brows suggestively as he continued sipping his drink. “Someone might find it sort of arousing to watch you with him." Dax pinched her lips together squinting her eyes slightly as she tried to figure out where Jake was going.

“I mean, he’s obviously fit, and…”

“bendy.” Jake interrupted chuckling to himself as Dax eyed him curiously.

“Are you getting at what I think you’re getting at?” She bit her bottom lip as she leaned back against the arm of the couch letting her hand slip between her legs and up underneath the fabric of her slip dress.

“It’s your birthday, why not try something special?” He looked over her shoulder, excitement growing behind his eyes and between his legs. “Rohan will be back from the kitchen any second.”

“Say it outright.” Dax moved her hand up her body, cupping and massaging one of her perky breasts.

“Do you want to fuck Rohan?”

“So, you’re serious?” Dax’s lips fell slightly open, and Jake could see her chest begin to rise and fall rapidly. “And you’re going to watch?”

“I thought he and I might - share.” Jake sipped his whiskey and licked his lips. Dax’s eyes were suddenly bright with anticipation.

“I’ve never been with two men before.” Dax stood and sultrily crossed the room, over to him. She leaned toward over him trailing her fingers up the inside of his thigh. “I guess, the only question mark is Ro.” She stood and hooked her fingers underneath the bottom hem of her dress. Her hips shimmied back and forth, and a lacy black thong fell down onto the ground. She kicked them gently under the armchair, and looking back over her shoulder at Jake, made her way to the couch.

_Fucking hell, this might happen._

“Here we go, birthday girl.” Rohan spilt through the door holding a small bottle of tonic and a flute of kava. He wandered over to the couch, extending the flute toward her.

“Mmmmm, thank you.” She took the glass and stood to meet him setting her free hand on the centre of his chest. Dax slid her hand up his chest and down his arm landing on the small bottle of tonic in his hand. “Here. Let me make your drink. Gin?” Jake could see Rohan swallow deeply as he dropped down onto the couch, his breathing growing faster.

“Yes, thanks.” Rohan ran a hand through his hair unabashedly staring as Dax made walked to the bar cart. Jake felt the twisted pull of his arousal with each step she took, walking in her usual way, up on the tips of her toes. The short hem of her dress teased at what might come with every sway of her hips. Jealousy and adrenaline and arousal harmonized into an intoxicating cloud over his senses. Standing at the cart Dax pulled the cork out of the gin, poured the drink and then, her back to the boys, paused a moment to untwist the elastic from her hair. It rolled down her back in long glossy curls. She handed Rohan his glass and sat back down on the couch next to him, this time quite close. Dax set her kava down onto the coffee table and slipped off her cardigan curving her shoulders toward Rohan as she did.

_Fuck she’s so …_

Jake felt like he was watching the opening credits of a horror movie, or riding the uphill section of a rollercoaster. His stomach in knots, fear wringing the back of his throat, but electrifying anticipation streaming through every limb.

“Isn’t this a nice cardi?” Dax smiled holding it out to Rohan before tossing it casually onto the coffee table beside her glass. “Jen just gave it to me earlier, as a birthday gift.”

“Oh,” Rohan blushed as she leaned over him to sip from her flute and set it back on the table. “I don’t know much about fashion really, but I doubt there’s anything that would look bad on you Dax.” Jake sat quietly in the corner of the room, still sipping his whiskey. The ice jingling against the edge of his glass drew Rohan’s attention. “Right mate?” He added after a moment of silence.

“Absolutely.” Jake let his voice fall deeper but spread a warm smile across his face hoping to help keep Rohan feeling at ease.

“I was sort of bummed though…” Dax rested her hand on Rohan’s thigh as he turned to face her. “You didn’t bring me anything.” She puckered her bottom lip playfully.

“Aw Dax, I ordered something, but it didn’t arrive in time.” He rubbed a hand along the outside of her shoulder. “I promise I’ll bring it by soon, I'll be apartment hunting here soon.”

“That would be nice." Dax twirled one of her chocolate brown ringlets around her finger. "But, what if there was something you could give me, that you already have on you?” Rohan chuckled and sipped his drink.

“Are you shaking me down for my lunch money?” The group all laughed.

“No,” Dax shook her head and moved her hand slightly higher up Rohan’s leg. “I was thinking more along the lines of what I really want is you.” She looked over at Jake, who nodded approvingly. She then stood and slipped the thin spaghetti straps of the silken slip dress off of her shoulders. The top of the dress fell down, bunching around her waist. Jake could only see the taut toned muscles of her back and Rohan’s wide-eyed grin.

“I….um…. but you’re….” Rohan guzzled back the remainder of his gin tonic, clearly working hard to find a full sentence. “I don’t know quite how to respond.”

“Tell me you want me, Ro. You’ve thought about it, no?” Dax had transformed completely, no longer friendly and giggling, her rasping desperate voice screamed vixen and clearly affected Rohan.

“I mean, more than a few times, I just…” Rohan finally broke from looking at Dax and turned his face to Jake. “You’re my best mate, are you really ok with this?” Jake could see Rohan struggling to contain his excitement as his eyes jumped back and forth between them.

“I’m sitting right here aren’t I?” Jake smiled and finished his whiskey setting the empty glass on the edge of the chair. Jake stood and walked over to Dax. He grasped the back of her neck with his hand and standing beside her, he leaned in to kiss gently from her collarbone to the tip of her shoulder. Her skin filled with goosebumps and he dropped down on the open end of the couch. “To be clear, you’ll have to settle for sharing her, but, mate, Dax is stunning and half-naked in front of you. It’s completely fine to want her, how could you turn her down?”

“Well, um yes then, absolutely yes.”

“Good,” Dax pushed her dress over her hips letting it fall to the floor.

“Holy shit Dax – your body is just–” Dax interrupted, putting the tips of her fingers to his lips and sitting between the men on the couch. She pulled Rohan’s hand onto her thigh.

“Show me what you think of my body.” With Ro’s hand already moving along her thigh, Jake sat back trailing his fingertips lightly along her back. Jake took a deep breath.

_Here we fucking go._

As if the roller-coaster cart had finally peaked the crest of the track, Jake fell headfirst into exhilaration watching Rohan pull Dax’s face to his. He pressed his lips to her and and began exploring her chest with his shaking hands. Jake felt his heart starting to race as vigour, energy, and tension ebbed and flexed through every muscle. Ro inelegantly moved his hands to her shoulders pulling her body close to him and zealously kissing her smooth skin. His kissing intensified as his hands continued grabbing at Dax's naked body. Jake couldn’t help but smirk at Rohan’s eager and impatient moves.

_I forget how young he is, and how busy he is with school. He needs practice, he's too focused on the end._

“Ro,” a soft moan escaped Dax’s lips, “slow down, like this.” She looked over her shoulder back at Jake to check once more for his approval, almost begging with her eyes.

_God yes, fuck. Teach him._

Turning back to Ro, she popped up onto her knees and carefully reached out her dexterous fingers. In a flash, she’d unbuckled his belt and removed his jeans and boxers. Very slowly Dax began to tease Rohan, licking the tip of his cock, then down and around his sides. His body was fiercely responsive to her touch. Each lick and kiss made him moan louder until she slipped him into her waiting mouth, stretching her lips wide. Rohan inhaled sharply.

“Oh my god, shit.”

Dax sucked him with sheer lust and Jake couldn’t bear watching any longer. He unzipped his pants and freed himself from his own clothing. Watching her full ass from behind as her skilled tongue elicited growing moans of pleasure from Rohan had gotten Jake fully hard. He began to stroke himself and reached his free hand out to massage his long fingers around Dax’s wet slit. Jake surprised her and she let out a groan around Rohan that made him shudder with pleasure. She giggled at this response, flicking her playful tongue over Rohan's sensitive head. He groaned and grunted holding the back of Dax’s head and pushing himself deep into her mouth as he began to thrust. Dax raised her lips quickly off of him, leaning back to press her hips into Jake’s hand. Jake slipped two fingers inside her making her whimper as he twirled his fingers in wide circles. He slammed his fingers deep inside her again, his thumb on her clit, and pinched them towards each other. Dax inhaled and arching her back and leaning back into Jake's chest.

“Sorry Ro, I’ll give her back in a sec.” Jake pulled his hand from inside her to grasp around her hips and flip Dax onto her back. She squealed with delight as Rohan slid behind her, sitting her between his legs and wrapping his arms around her chest. Rohan kissed at her neck and began pinching and massaging her hard nipples. Jake slid both his arms under her legs, wrapping one around her thigh and resting the other over her hip. He didn't bother teasing or working his way up to it, he needed her taste too much. He tangled his lips into hers and explored her ferociously with his tongue.

Dax let out a long, deep moan of pleasure as Jake expertly devoured her. He knew every flick and twirl that made her squirm. He knew every rhythm that brought her to the edge. He knew her body like his own. Jake loved her taste, sweat and citrus, salt rolling across his tongue as she thrust her hips to his mouth. It was deeply sensual, almost intoxicating and heightened by Rohan’s watchful eyes. Jake slid over her clit with his tongue, alternating fast and slow motions and increasing the intensity of her moans. Dax’s legs were shivering, and her cries frantic. Not wanting to let her come too soon, he licked a final time along her slit.

“Ro,” she gasped breathlessly, “there should be a condom in the drawer of that side table.” Dax crawled over herself, adjusting so her mouth was at Jake’s hips. She slid a finger into her mouth and sucked on it gently; her eyes wild with excitement and her skin dewy with sweat. And there it was, Rohan positioned himself behind her, fucking her hard, setting her eyes on fire, rocking the heavy couch, and eliciting sweet groans of indulgence that surged through Jake’s ears. He’d never been able to see before, but the dimples he so loved from her laugh, were flexing taut as she moaned with pleasure.

_I want those dimples around my cock._

Jake reach out, winding his fingers through her hair and turning her head so she took him deep into her mouth. Dax bobbed around him rapidly and the sight of her lips around him, the sight of her body bouncing against Rohan’s thrusts, the intensity of the sucking, it was all too much. The combination of sensations and images sent Jake rushing toward the edge and he grunted loudly. He could tell she was getting closer and closer to her own orgasm as she began to hum around him. Her hands began to grip tightly around his thighs as her breathing became uneven. In an instant, Jake could see every muscle in her body tense as she climaxed. The vibrations of her screams rolled along his cock as she pushed him deep into her throat. It was as if the air in his lungs exploded from his body and his eyes ceased to function. The entire room was blurry, as shockwaves of pleasure rolled up his spine and down every limb and only Rohan was left to reach orgasm. Jake relaxed back on the arm of the couch watching as continued shivers wracked Dax’s body as Rohan slammed against her frantically. Her hair falling wildly and messily over her face, her skin gleaming. With every second he fell more terrifyingly in love with her. In love with every part of her — her openness, her wild spirit, her dimpled cheeks, the slender trail of her collarbone, her voice, her full supple hips. Getting to watch her frenzied graceful moves, watching her moans of pleasure from a new angle, everything about her developed sudden, profound intensity. Her eyes locked on him filled him with a deep sense of calm. One that manifested itself as an intensely comfortable vulnerability and thoughts of…

_Marry me. Oh god, marry me. There is no one else - I want her forever. Oh fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! This is an excerpt from the middle of the sequel to this story, Reasons to Forgive ~ I just couldn't get writing this little bit out of my head so I hope you all enjoy and you return for my next fic!
> 
> Summary: A year after the end of Love Island Jake is forced to face parts of him he thought were gone and parts of his relationship he never knew existed.
> 
> Reasons to Forgive will really up the angst and break some hearts, to help Jake find out who he really is, and what he really wants for the future. Will begin posting late August!!
> 
> ps. Kudos and comments literally make my day so, please please leave them if you feel it!


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